godessalthena
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2011 14 July :: 9.35pm
It takes every fiber of my being to keep going. I don't see the point anymore.
What do you think?
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godessalthena
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2011 14 July :: 12.49pm
Stay positive. Try your hardest.
It feels completely one sided.
What do you think?
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godessalthena
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2011 12 July :: 8.07pm
Every little thing I do.. I do it for you.
I have abandoned all hope and entered the depths of Hell. I'm alone, sad, angry and no one notices I'm missing.
What do you think?
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godessalthena
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2011 11 July :: 7.30pm
We can drive it home with one headlight..
What do you think?
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godessalthena
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2011 10 July :: 11.49pm
I don't know who I'm kidding imaging you care.
What do you think?
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godessalthena
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2011 10 July :: 3.21pm
You put yourself in stupid places, I think you know it's true. You put yourself in situations where it's easy to look down on you. I think you like to be the victim. I think you like to be in pain. I think you like to play the victim almost every single day.
What do you think?
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godessalthena
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2011 10 July :: 4.26am
Sometimes I run.. Sometimes I hide.. Sometimes I'm scared of you. But all I really want is to hold you tight, treat you right, be with you day and night..
What do you think?
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godessalthena
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2011 10 July :: 12.53am
Easily manipulated.
Readily the victim.
Stupid girl.
What do you think?
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godessalthena
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2011 9 July :: 7.18pm
Build me up, buttercup, don't let down..
What do you think?
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godessalthena
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2011 8 July :: 2.10pm
Nothing good.
What do you think?
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godessalthena
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2011 7 July :: 8.42pm
I miss the days when I still felt alive..
What do you think?
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godessalthena
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2011 6 July :: 5.34pm
I really just want to give up on my life.
I can't find meaning in nothing.
What do you think?
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godessalthena
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2011 6 July :: 2.00pm
Finally jaded. My heart has grown hard and cold. I don't know if I believe in fairy tales anymore. People cause pain.
What do you think?
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godessalthena
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2011 5 July :: 6.44pm
My girlfriend spoils me. She feeds me, let's me have all the pot I want, my own bed, any movie I want to watch, she let's me vent, she cares about how I feel. She takes me out to eat my favorite foots and gives me massages. She laughs at all my jokes and thinks I'm great. She likes my brutal honesty and she accepts me for who I am. She wants the best for me. She even offered me a room in her home if I need it.
She feels like my best friend. And I haven't known her for very long. But it's so nice to finally find someone like that. It's exactly what I need in my life right now.
She doesnt get jealous. She'll wait for me if I have to deal with other things. I feel like I always have somewhere safe and welcoming if shit hits the fan.
I get a mini vacation every other day.
And I give her butterflies :3
What do you think?
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godessalthena
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2011 4 July :: 2.47pm
I just want to give up. I'm done fighting. I'm done trying to be happy.
Life, you win. I'm just not cut out for you.. Or anyone else in my life for that matter.
I just wish for once I'd get what's coming to me.
What do you think?
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godessalthena
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2011 4 July :: 10.40am
Just once I'd really love....
But I don't deserve it.
What do you think?
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godessalthena
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2011 3 July :: 8.29pm
I just want to get fucked up and die.
What do you think?
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godessalthena
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2011 2 July :: 4.44pm
Hello.
I recently became aware that I am a heartless monster.
That is all.
What do you think?
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godessalthena
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2011 1 July :: 8.08pm
Will it ever end?
I'm feeling really disheartened. Disillusioned. I just want my old life back. I just want the last two years back. I feel a great injustice has been done to me and Sus. I feel like my life has been needlessly ruined.
And now we are both suffering more than ever. And all I want is tofeel loved and important. And that's all he wants too. But will we ever get back there? I feel so hopeless.
I honestly can't wait to have the apartment back. I can't wait to have the freedom to do whatever we want again. To not have to feed a deadbeat child trapped in a teenager's body.
What do you think?
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godessalthena
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2011 1 July :: 3.35am
When I'm angry I catch a mean bug. I need to get it out of me before it ruins my life. I'm kinda afraid it's too late.
What do you think?
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godessalthena
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2011 29 June :: 10.09pm
I'm sad if I talk to you and im sad if I don't :(
What do you think?
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godessalthena
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2011 29 June :: 12.55pm
I'm lost. I see no hope. There's nothing where a future used to be. I seem to have forgotten what is truly important and all I can see is how resentful and disappointed I am.
We used to have something so special. And I've cheapened it.
What do you think?
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godessalthena
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2011 28 June :: 1.59pm
I wish I knew what I was doing.
What do you think?
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godessalthena
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2011 27 June :: 7.23pm
Guess who has a girlfriend. Yeah. This girl. Hell fucking yeah!
What do you think?
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godessalthena
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2011 27 June :: 1.44pm
I feel like there can be no winner in this situation.
And I feel like that's whats expected.
And it's sad :(
What do you think?
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godessalthena
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2011 26 June :: 1.48pm
Things are tough. And unpleasant. But I still have a few good things to hold onto.
Mark fucked up. Big time. And I'm pissed and hurt.
Alyson fucked up big time. Over and over again. And I'm pissed and emotionally exhausted.
Things with Sus are still rocky. Mostly because I fuck up. And it's really saddening.
But I made a few new friends. Liv and Heath. They are really rad. They spoil me. And whenever I go over there we just sit and watch stupid tv, smoking and drinking. No one cries. No one gets jealous. No one gets way too drunk and fucks up. It's just relaxed, some cuddling with Liv. Some girl on girl action. Stress relief. I feel a little guilty because I'm the only one in the house getting relief from stress. But I think I deserve it. Not more than anyone else, but I went looking and found it. I got lucky.
Also. I think I'm going to start doing my hair and makeup more often. I feel so much better about myself when I do. And I need all the good feelings I can get.
What do you think?
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godessalthena
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2011 25 June :: 4.28pm
I am so confused.. :(
What do you think?
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godessalthena
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2011 24 June :: 2.55am
I love the foo fighters.
What do you think?
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godessalthena
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2011 23 June :: 8.24pm
Why can't that be me?
What do you think?
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