it's a scene straight out of a movie - first , the hesitant company sitting through an argument , nervously approaching to announce their departure . then , the awkward silences through what would normally hold an abundance of playful banter . finally , i am resting on the wall and you are yelling back your infinite excuses with not one mention as to how i have a valid reason to be upset . my left hand clasping my right wrist , wringing it like a wet towel , like childish indian burns , only this isn't a game and i wish you'd understand that , but you won't . you never do . it's always my over-reacting and my girlish sentiments getting in the way of reason . you jump from one justification to the next , thinking that two excuses are better than one , but when there's more than one , it makes them just that - flimsy excuses . nobody ever wants to be fighting . nobody wants to be angry , and nobody ever wants to feel unloved . nobody has ever felt more so at this moment than i do right now . it blows my mind that you can walk away so easily and i'm sure that soon , you'll say "come outside" or something about my eyes or my smile and it'll be over and i'll be fine except for the constant stream of consciousness i scribble out at three twenty six a.m. or the one running through my head when your hand grazes my ear as you tuck my hair behind it and i feel like you're a stranger . before i can realize what's happening , you're in your car and i'm in my room debating what's too personal to post and whether or not your reading this , like i know you will , will change anything or if you'll understand or if you'll just create some criticism in the back of your mind or if you'll actually say it , and my bets are placed on the latter . i don't think you'll understand because you haven't in the past , and your direct comparisons involve things that are nothing alike . your wide range of defenses contains so many errors that i never realize i made , or never made at all , and i can't believe i actually listened to it for the time before you turned your back on me , more than just literally . this is ridiculous . i thought we had more than this . i still do . but maybe that's just my reading too much into things again .

We need to talk about it