It's All Coming Back to Me. . .the True.

It's All Coming Back to Me. . .the True.

:: 2004 17 December :: 11.00pm
:: Mood: Emo
:: Music: Amy Lee- You

I are teh emo poet.
Since the other day
When I saw your radiant face,
My life has been in haze;
Obscured by your grace.

You make me feel like nothing is wrong;
You brighten up my days,
Like the harmony of a beautiful song
Singing out in wonderous praise.

I wish all my days
Could be spent like this-
When my smiles aren't faked;
When I'm in a state of bliss.

I haven't known you long,
But it feels like forever.
I can always tell you what's wrong.
Lie to you, I would never.

You have your little flaws,
Your addictions- they kill me,
But when I'm with you, they seem so small;
They're just so difficult to see.

I just want you to know,
That no matter what we go through
I'll never let go,
I'll always be here for you.

[/emo]

Goodnight, bitches.

PS- School dances suck. I wish I was black.

7 Hearts | Broken Hearts

xsilentxsuicidex

:: 2004 17 December :: 5.10pm
:: Music: Disturbed- Down with the Sickness

For the love of God, and all things holy... MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!
Well, I have to say, I smiled more last night, then all the times put together in the past two weeks.

John and Randy have got to be the funniest people I know. I wish I could hang out with them more often.

I absolutely love these guys... It was great. John's frickin' crazy. A fake cow "gave him head", and he humped a giant nutcracker sign... Oh, and he made out with the Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas sign. XD Oh yeah!! And, I can't forget... He put his ass on the Abercrombie window.... :D

*points at sausage and laughs*
..Oh, and we mustn't forget..
*throws pack of M&Ms at some lady*
"I peed in your sink"

...And John... Wasn't it great walking out of the bathroom talking really loudly about your penis, to notice there's some lady with little kids right outside of the door?

Randy with his giant gumball... XD

But... about today. It was pretty good. Fraylor was at my break :)

Marcus, Jesse, and Fraylor aren't going to the dance with me anymore. ; ; (Fraylor might, actually...)

How about I'm going to beat the shit out of this dumbfuck? Tim pisses me off so bad, and has ever since elementary school... and today, he gets off calling me and Fraylor posers! (He had a messanger tell us this...) And when we got in his face about it, he was like "I didn't call you a poser, Freddie!

Tim, you're the one wearing about $200 worth of HotTopic clothes daily, talking about how you have money problems and how bad your life is...

You're the one wearing a fucking $75 trenchcoat that I got for about $20... (Yes, it's a girl's trenchcoat.)

..Talking about how you had it for 2 years. Bullshit. :)

I go now. Aisha Waisha is coming over. =D

Broken Hearts

xsilentxsuicidex

:: 2004 15 December :: 3.25pm

I'm at school. We're doing some career thing. :)

I'm an ASR personality type, haha. ASSER PRIDE!!

Uh, I'm gonna be a singer I suppose...

John Livingstone is going to be a bus driver! Haha!

Today has been so funny. I'll update more later :)

2 Hearts | Broken Hearts

xsilentxsuicidex

:: 2004 14 December :: 8.15pm
:: Mood: Sick, but well.
:: Music: Phantom of the Opera techno mix ^_^

In sleep he sang to me, in dreams he came.
Another day gone by, and I'm still breathing. I'm hoping to maybe see people this weekend. Maybe get some Christmas shopping done. I have to go with Carly to voice lessons tomorrow, because we're singing in Asheville. -.-; I don't really want to.

Solo/Small Ensamble is coming up. Riel wants me to do a solo, I doubt that will go over too well. Maybe me and a small group can do the Phantom of the Opera song. I either want to do that, or Lullabye. :) Yay.

Had fun in a chat room today. I'm getting really sick, though. And I need to finish my notebook check... and some Science stuff. Haven't done my Math homework, but I'll copy someone's tomorrow...

*sigh* It's been a good day, I guess. I'm still feeling a wee bit down, but oh well. I'll get over it. I'm becoming more and more numb to this stuff. My heart is so callused, I'm beginning to just not care anymore. Really, maybe this is better for me... Those who I choose not to talk to, I will miss terribly, but I'll move on. I'm sure you will, too. It's not like I'm life-changing to any of them. I doubt they'll even notice the lack of conversation between us.

Then there's the few people who I would cease to breath without. My family (though it's somewhat tough at times), Aisha, John, and Keely. There are other people who are very dear to me, but these people are the most important people in my life right now, and I have love for them so deep that it can not compare to anything.

Carly, my sister is just great. I'm so open with her, and we can just be so stupid together. =) She makes living in this house so much more fun!

Aisha, who is hilarious. She seems like a little innocent kid, then she makes comments about ripping Eli's nuts off and feeding them to him... I've only known her for about a year, but it seems like forever. (Over-used line ^_^) ABC's during the hymns, haha!

Keely, my goth godess. Haha, just kidding, dear. We've been through some hard stuff... But we're still tight, although you don't talk to me that much anymore. Maybe we'll be closer again in High School...

John, I haven't known you that long... But I have to say, I can tell you anything. I love you so much, and I hope we stay friends for a very long time. Even though you're pretty far away, I feel so close to you. I don't get to see you much, but you're one of the best friends I've ever had.

And now, I realized that I'm not in a good mood. At all, really.

It's funny how that works.

Broken Hearts

xsilentxsuicidex

:: 2004 13 December :: 8.01pm
:: Mood: Fuck.
:: Music: Brand New- The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows

Andrew.
Well, yeah. Today was good, up until about 5 mniutes ago.

Graded how we did in the concert for chorus. Made brownies in Mrs. Yeoman's... Went outside for Mrs. Johnson's. Mr. Moore is always lax. Then Mrs. Connor's class was sooo funny. John was just like "pubic hair" right when it got quiet, and Megan goes... "Would you like to tell the teacher what you just said?" and the fire alarm went off. :) Then, in Mrs. Glasgow's, we had a sub. It was great. My class is fucking crazy. I'll probably be in trouble tomorrow, though.

Got home, talked on AIM for a bit, and when I went downstairs to clean the kitchen, Carlos called! We watched SpongeBob, haha. It was great.

Then, we went to dinner at Friday's. There was a weird lady wearing a green boa and reindeer antlers, and a shirt that said "vixen". She was like late 40's-early 50's... it was weird. She kept staring at me, and I kept looking back at her all wide-eyed. Then Carly, Calvin, Eli and my dad left me. So I rode home with mom, and talked to her about how things are going with school and stuff...

Then, I talked to Andrew. I haven't seen him in weeks, and well, I've had quite a few dreams about him lately. So, I told him. And his response was, "Oh, you do realize I'm back with my ex, don't you?" Well, no one had told me this. He completely misinterpreted what I meant about having dreams about him... Ugh, I can't believe him, though. No "I miss you, too" or anything. Just "Me and Blake are together again". I don't like him anymore, but it does hurt. All that time of "I'll never get close to anyone ever again" and "I'm not going to be with another woman all through High School" stuff, and rejecting me because of it... It really kind of made my heart sink. Whatever.

I'm just going to start getting people out of my life. Like Michael- I don;t belive I'll ever speak with him again, unless he iniciates the conversation. Right now, I don't even care about my CDs still being with him. Sure, I thought he was such a great friend, but he's so deceptive... (Michael, if you read this, then talk to me about it. I have alot to point out to you, my friend. There's a 1 to a million chance that you'll read this, though.) ...And Andrew. He just makes no effort to be my friend anymore. I try to start conversations with him, but he just never responds. And he never opened up to me. I spilled my heart to him, and he never told me anything about him.

These people are very special to me, and I will never forget them, nor will they leave my heart. I just can't take being caused so much pain, I really can't. It brings me to tears that I'd just stop talking to them completely, but I've lost all hope. I give up.

Are you fucking happy?

I need to talk to John. Bitch never updates his woohu. Nor does he comment in mine. ;_;

Well, fuck. Time for me to actually get some homework done... =/

1 Heart | Broken Hearts