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2004 11 December :: 6.41pm
Well... I need to get this down.
For the longest time I thought the taunting had stopped. I really let myself believe that people would just leave me alone about how I look. But, I guess, once again, I was wrong. I mean, I've known people have continually made comments about how I look, but not to my face. Recently it's been pretty bad. Sarcastic comments such as "good looking girls like Dana" have been made directly to me. There are two Dana's in my class, and she's referred to as the "skinny Dana" or, I'm the "ugly Dana". I'm just getting sick of it. Some of them don't even realize that I know they're making fun of me. That's even more of an insult, because that means they also think I am dumb. I can't wait to get out of that fucking Hell hole. I really hate it. Maybe things will be better at Hoggard. I really, really hope so. If not, then I'm not sure what will happen to me.
I really wish I wasn't so sad all the time. Why is it that every night pretty much, I'm either crying, or on the verge of tears?
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Broken Hearts
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2004 11 December :: 3.32pm
Well, today I hung out with a bunch of 10-year-olds at an elementary school...
And that's all I have to say.
Broken Hearts
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xsilentxsuicidex
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2004 10 December :: 5.52pm
:: Music: Thrice- Blood clots and black holes.
DYLAN'S BACK!! I told you guys, teachers lie all the time.
I sang my solo this morning for the entire 8th grade. It wasn't that good, because I was sooo nervous. But, whatever.
Nothing else good really happened... Until after lunch. We were waiting to get in the trailer for Math, and JT was sitting on the railing, and he fell. XD It was so funny, because, I had just been talking to Megan about how funny it would've been if someone feel.
Pretty good day. Got home. My trenchcoat was here :)
But then, I had a yelling match with my brother. =/ I hate how he thinks he knows more than me. He thinks he's so cool and badass... But I guess we all go through something like that around the age of 10...?
Blah. It looks like I'm not getting a new cell phone anytime soon. (My cell broke. ;_; It was like 5 years old.) Oh well.
I can't wait forever.
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2004 9 December :: 9.51pm
Well, alot of stuff happened today, and I can't really think of it because I'm zoning out...
Well, I read my journal entry from last night. I don't realize what I write when I get in one of those moods. I meant every word of it though, which frightens me a bit. I'm sure I won't go by it. I always give in. My weakness is that I care too much.
Chorus this morning. Mr. Riel informed us that we would be performing with the band tonight, so we had like 30 minutes to learn the part we had to sing. (Didn't go too well. Like no one showed up so like no one was puttting out any sound.) Some weird dude with really thick glasses and a Hawaiin shirt on was sitting on the risers with us... XD We're performing Firefly Darkness tomorrow... I'm nervous, because it's for the 8th grade. I hope I can be able to look at Mr. Riel while I'm singing my solo... It helps me alot.
Had a sub in Yeoman's, Johnson's, and Moore's. I looooved Mr. Moore's substitute. He was crazy.
Connor's and Glasgow's went surprisingly well. So it's been an alright day. I got like 4538247 billion hugs : ) Yay.
Listen to me...
I'll wait for you.
But I can't wait
F o r e v e r.
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2004 8 December :: 9.19pm
Well, I had written something that completely spilled my guts, that I put my heart into, but I'm not sure if I want him to read it anymore. Right now, I don't know how to feel.
Maybe useless is the right feeling... Whenever I try to help anyone, they just shrug me off their shoulders. I'm fucking sick of people and their bad habits. Then again, maybe anger or sadness would be the proper emotion. Maybe all three.
I fucking refuse to speak with anyone if they're intoxicated or under the influence of something anymore. I can't fucking take it. I'm sick of seeing the people I love fall apart because of this shit, and when I try to tell them that, they just forget it completely. I make no influence on them, because they think it's just fine.
I hate fucking sitting here in tears, knowing what will happen, and not being able to fix it... To see someone you love so dearly becoming an addict, it gets to you.
Just don't even fucking try to talk to me when you're messed up anymore.
I wish it was easier not to care.
I wish I could just forget about it still...
Why do I care so much now?
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Broken Hearts
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