xsilentxsuicidex
|
::
2004 5 October :: 7.29pm
:: Music: Slipknot- The Virus of Life
All my friends from Roland Grise are suddenly becoming popular...
I was popular last year, kind of... But not anymore. All my other friends went on to High School.
So I was left with Hakki, Brennen, Aisha, Rhianna, Marcus, Spencer, Zach, and well that's pretty much it...
Hakki, Brennen, Aisha, Marcus and Spencer all now all hanging out with the popular people... (And of course there's Freddie, who's always been popular)
That leaves Zach, Rhianna, Weiner Schnitzel and I at the bottom of the food chain... And I only get to see Zach once during the day.
I bet Zach will be next... Considering he's still pretty good friends with Spencer and Marcus...
Oh well. I'll get over it....
FOR I AM SUPER OPTIMIST WOMAN! ...Let my optimism shine down upon you and brighten your day... Either that, or blind you, leaving you forever sightless.:D
I think I can maybe still save Brennen. He's not too far in.
But maybe I shouldn't want to save him if he's going to act that way.
I'm just sick of people ditching me...
1 Heart |
Broken Hearts
|
|
xsilentxsuicidex
|
::
2004 4 October :: 7.51pm
:: Mood: Confused.
Worried about my grades... o.o
Today was rather confusing... Nick and Michael came up to me and said Brennen wanted to go out with me... But I just walked away, because I thought they were kidding...
I mean, if Brennen did want to go out with me... He'd ask me... right?
Meh.
By the way, I don't know if I put this before... But the other day, someone crapped on the frickin' desk... In Mrs. Johnson's room. It's fucking hilarious... Everyone thought Wade did it, and they almost suspended him.
That's all for now.
-Zennousha
Broken Hearts
|
|
xsilentxsuicidex
|
::
2004 3 October :: 2.54pm
:: Music: Evanescence- Tourniquet
Everything I touch is breaking...
All these wonderful frienships I built up are sadly falling apart...
Keely, my best friend, who now goes to a different school... She and I haven't kept in touch as well as we used to...
Aisha, who's in a different class than me... She's hanging out with lots of popular people now, and she and I don't spend much time together anymore...
Michael, who I think just doesn't want me around anymore...
Other people, who I haven't spoken with at all this year...
It's disheartening. I feel like I'm meant to face this world alone...
Aisha and Keely, if I did something wrong, then I'm sorry. Please forgive me...
Michael, I miss you terribly. I only wish you would make an effort to see me at least once while you're still here. But seeing how meaningless my friendship is to you, I doubt you'll even read this, let alone speak with me at all...
Naze watashi nano?
2 Hearts |
Broken Hearts
|
|
xsilentxsuicidex
|
::
2004 2 October :: 10.36pm
:: Mood: Alone.
:: Music: Hatebreed- A call for blood
Just great.
Wow...
Just got back from Andrew's party. I met Blake and Neil, they're pretty cool. We just hung around... Played Soul Calibur II and Gundam... Then we watched Resident Evil...
This is where the fun begins.
So it started off great... We were all making fun of the movie and stuff- like we always do... I got to sit with Andrew for a while, but then people slowly started going upstairs... It got to the point where it was only Rhianna, Aisha, Doug and I... So Rhianna Aisha and me went upstairs to see what they were doing...
Keely told me to go away. I know I'm probably overreacting, but Hell... I hadn't seen her in a long time... Fuck, I haven't had an actual conversation with her in God only knows how long...
I don't know what it was, be it my unstable emotions, or just something that had built up, but it hurt.... Badly.
I've always had this feeling of unwantedness... I've always separated myself from people for as long as I can remember. People have never accepted me. Not even in my elementary school days. Last year was the first time I had an actual friend, and now most of the friendships I've built up are falling apart...
Maybe I'm meant to be alone.
Maybe I'm not meant to be here at all...
I miss you all... so much.
I haven't really been myself lately... and I'm so sorry...
I'll change, I swear. All I want is acceptance.. All I want is to be loved.
Gomen nasai.
1 Heart |
Broken Hearts
|
|
xsilentxsuicidex
|
::
2004 1 October :: 5.32pm
:: Mood: Enlightened.
:: Music: System of a Down- Toxicity
Quit yelling in my ear!
Wow, I don't know what it was about today, but I could not stop laughing...
John, you ate your fucking bread, man. No one took it from you.
Alright, at lunch today, John forgot he ate his bread, and so he thought JT took it. JT had his hands over his tray, and John tried to move them, but it tipped JT's tray onto him. JT was pissed, so he threw his milk all over John. It was so fucking hilarious. Carlos goes "GOT MILK BIOTCH!?"
JT, do you have naked back problems, too?
I seriously love my class this year. As much as I hate school, people in my class make it alot easier. We're so fucking stupid, but I love it. Everyone's so hilarious... JT, John, Hakki, Dylan, Rhianna, Carlos, Rashon, Spencer... The greatest. Then of course there's Alex (aka Allison Morgan the cheerleader) Who is fucking scarey and insane.
Some funnnnny things this year. I lovvvee it.
"You gonna eat that biscuit?"
"There's a peanut... some corn... cashews... a peice'a beef jerky... some chickon... Yep, I'ma need me some Pinesol."
"Mrs. Glasgow, do you think I'm sexy?"
"Them hurriken's a-comin' right this-away, blowin' up all the soal and all that jazz."
"QUIT YELLING IN MY EAR!!"
"..Who has crabs?!"
"Hey man, if there was a snake crawlin' towards my nuts..."
I think everything's getting somewhat better... I'm trying to teach myself not to be pessimistic...
Failing, but I'll keep it up.
And that's how the cookie crumbles,
1 Heart |
Broken Hearts
|
|