just_peachie
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2006 10 March :: 11.47am
Yep...the weekend.
Brianna, we're going out tonight and having a ladies night!
*winks
luv me!
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swimfan14
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2006 9 March :: 10.58pm
:: Mood: Tired
:: Music: Panic! At The Disco//Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off
Aww I love those moments when you say those things. It's so adorable.
This week has gone by so slow but it's definitely been worth it. So much has happened this week and so many things have changed it's unbelievable. I'm happy. Everything is pretty much wonderful. I'm off to bed. Goodnight!!
I love you all.
<3 Ashley
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swimfan14
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2006 8 March :: 10.49pm
:: Mood: tired
Tonight was fun. I hung out with Emily Esch and Elyse until the game. Emily always wants to drive my car but when she asks me we are always on our way somewhere so I always say no but then today she asked me again and I told her she would have to call my dad and ask him if he would let her since he wont let barely anyone drive it unless it's him or me and I really didn't think she would call him but she did and sure enough he said yes because she is definitely one of his favorites out of my friends. They sat there and talked on the phone for like five minutes. I was like seriously just drive lol!!
Once I get everything straightened out and I begin to enjoy life...something happens. It happens because there has to be some kind of event that hits me in the face and makes me realize that it's not all gonna come easy.
Part of me just can't let go of the past and the other part tells me I have no other choice.
Having that talk with you made me realize that we have so much more in common than we ever thought. We are almost like the same person and it's good to know that someone thinks the way I do. I guess you always understood those things in me.
I think this is how things are going to be and I'm really happy right now. For once I finally feel like this is something real.
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swimfan14
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2006 7 March :: 7.51pm
Everytime we touch I get this feeling and everytime we kiss I swear I could fly. Can't you feel my heart beat fast? I want this to last. I need you by my side. Everytime we touch I feel the static and everytime we kiss I reach for the sky. Can't you hear my heart beat slow? I can't let you go. I want you in my life.
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brokenmentality
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2006 7 March :: 12.15pm
stacy: bdlaaaaa
hahahaha.....
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swimfan14
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2006 6 March :: 10.53pm
I'm not exactly sure what I should say. Everything I do is a mistake. Your attention is attention. It doesn't matter if it's real or fake. I'll take it if I get it. I've made up my mind. I'll do it over any time.
You're over it, over me. Present just physically. Last words from the dying scene, you're over me.
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swimfan14
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2006 5 March :: 9.41pm
:: Mood: Tired
:: Music: Motion City Soundtrack//The Future Freaks Me Out
<3
I think I'm just being paranoid. I always feel like I need to know what's going to happen and if I don't know what's going to happen then I freak out. It's not really necessary but I can't stand that feeling.
This weekend was extremely exhausting. I barely slept. Friday night I went out to dinner with my family in Lansing and then I went to my friend Missy's house. She also models with me. We went ice skating with her two sisters Holly and Katrina and then their friends Tori and Haylie. It was really fun. They have an ice skating rink at their house. Weird? I know. Saturday we had modeling from 11-6 which was the exhausting part. Afterwards we had a fashion show and international dinner. They both we're really fun. Sunday we went to church and then I just went to my dads for a while to see him before he left and then I came home.
A few pictures from this weekend.
Read more..
When I got home today I found out that my mom put a phone line in my room so now I have my own internet. It's actually quite nice. I'm just being a lazy ass right now and I'm laying in my nice comfy bed talking to my friends on my laptop.
This week should be a busy week. I'm most likely going to all three basketball games on Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday with Lisa and Elyse and then Tuesday i'm hanging out with Cohen and then Thursday I'm going shopping :D
tomorrows monday..what a drag.
I would stay here if I could but I know it wont do any good. Maybe one day you'll understand something in me. It's something I gotta do. It's not you. It's something in me.
I still love you.
Did you expect me to believe I was the only one to fall?
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swimfan14
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2006 3 March :: 4.04pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: Ne-Yo//So Sick
Today was...interesting..to say the least.
Haha yes apparently Mr. McDonald did forget he had a seminar class so Mishy and I just left. We went out to eat and to Starbucks.
"Ashley, taste this, I think she gave me eggnog, instead of cafe' vanilla".
"Okay...*sips* mmm.."
"Doesn't it taste like eggnog?"
"...I've never had eggnog."
*both laugh*
Haha thinking about that still makes me laugh. I don't even know why I tasted her drink if I've never once tasted eggnog.
And yeah I'm really happy about what I said too. I'm just happy in general. I hope everything works out for the best.
I need to go pack though. I have to go to Lansing all weekend for modeling. I'm pretty stoaked for that business!! I'll bring my laptop with me. Haha I'm talking like I'll be gone forever but I'll be coming home on Sunday.
Well I hope everyone has a good weekend. Stacy we'll hang out next week because I miss you!
Love Always,
Ashley..........
You sit completely unaware of what I'm about to do
I am nervous that you won't be my lover. Oh, I adore you.
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brokenmentality
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2006 3 March :: 9.02am
soo.. there's some seroius talk about us moving to Tennesse sometime this summer. that would be the most wonderful thing.
i was talking to Keegan about it last night, and im not worried about leaving him, because more than likely, he'd come with us. i just hate michigan, and i hate cedar springs. i know that sounds bad because i was the red flannel queen, and i guess hate is to strong a word. cedar springs is my home, and no matter where i go, where i end up... it will always BE my home. and regardless of what anyone says, we will never FULLY get away, because this town harbors all of our childhood memories. we are who we are because we've lived in Cedar Springs, and i'm not ashamed to say i'm from a small town, because there is a "Cedar Springs" all over the U.S... what i hate is the routine of living in the same place all my life. what i hate is living in a town that is so closed minded and traditional. and what i hate is living in a town who's known for dollar stores and pizza places.
Tennesse on the other hand, is absolutely breathtaking. i've known that i wanted to live there since the 5th grade when we went on vaccation to the Smokies. i'm not a big city girl. i dont want to live in an expensive appartment for the rest of my life! i want (corny) a big back yard and a little yappy dog that barks at squirls bigger than it! i want a window FOR ONCE with a view. and i want and desperatly miss that feeling of connection with a power so much greater than myself when i look at the mountains. thats what i want. there's nothing here for me. after school... there's NOTHING here. i would have a hard time leaving my friends... but i'd deal.
the one person i could NEVER leave though, is keegan. at least not right now. not when he's my best friend and a big part of my life and quite possibly future. thats why if we leave, he'll leave. we're not about to give up on something so beautiful.
so.. perhaps this a goodbye to miserable winters and tanning salons?! i guess we'll see.......
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jennapie
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2006 2 March :: 8.20pm
Today is our two months! I can't believe it went so fast! It's been the best two months of my life. I owe it all to you! You are my everything! I love you Jake!
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swimfan14
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2006 2 March :: 3.25pm
Fate fell short this time.
Nothing is forever and the time comes when we all must say goodbye to what we knew.
Goodbye to everything we had taken for granted.
Goodbye to those we thought would never leave us.
And when these changes finally do occur and when the familiar has departed and the unfamiliar has taken it's place, all any of us can really do is to say hello and welcome those new feelings.
You're the one who has to live with yourself.
[Stacy: I have no idea where you are but I really need to talk to you.]
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swimfan14
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2006 1 March :: 10.20pm
What hurts the most was being so close and having so much to say and watching you walk away and never knowing what could've been and not seeing that loving you is what I was trying to do.
My heart is breaking and you're still faking a feeling that you will never know.
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brokenmentality
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2006 1 March :: 9.02am
me and keegan got a hampster sunday.
his name is Sushi and just might be the cutest thing i've ever seen. (exageration... but awwww, hes the cutest)
we had our leadership convention monday, and last friday i had to send out the award of excellence. im so relieved to have two major things lifted off my shoulders. i was majorly stressin. but its all good now.
now if only yearbook would go smoothly.
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swimfan14
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2006 28 February :: 10.42pm
Tonight just made me realize that this isn't going to come easy.
It's pretty much now or never.
It's just one of those things where the stakes are high. Sometimes it's forever and sometimes it's goodbye.
All I can say is I'm not going to be the one to regret this.
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swimfan14
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2006 27 February :: 10.29pm
I saw your face in a crowded place and I don't know what to do because I'll never be with you.
But it's time to face the truth. I will never be with you.
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