swimfan14
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2006 8 February :: 10.19pm
Call me out
You stayed inside
One you love
Is where you hide
Shot me down as I flew by
Crash and burn
I think sometimes you forget where the heart is
Answer no to these questions
Let her go, learn a lesson
It's not me, you're not listening now
Can't you see something's missing?
You forget where the heart is
Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you love me you'd say it's okay
Waking up from this nightmare
How's your life, what's it like there?
Is it all what you want it to be?
Does it hurt when you think about me?
And how broken my heart is
Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you love me you'd say it's okay
It's okay to be angry and never let go
It only gets harder the more that you know
When you get lonely if no one's around
You know that I'll catch you when you're falling down
We came together but you left alone
And I know how it feels to walk out on your own
Maybe someday I will see you again
And you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend
Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you love me you'd say its okay
It's okay
It's okay
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just_peachie
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2006 8 February :: 10.44am
Touche to things that make ya go "hmm"
It's funny...it really makes me ponder...
How someone could be such a low-life to weasel their way inbetween our relationship after they hint the slightest disturbance. You were supposed to be my friend.
And to think all the time on New Year's you were just pretending to be my friend. I knew I should have stayed suspicious of your phone call. You know the first major clue? The fact that you had sex with some random guy for and hour and a half after only just meeting him 45 minutes before. Touche to things that make ya go hmm.
It's ok. Because I know what you are to him. He's told me about everything. And even though we may be going through a rough spot in our relationship, I know who he loves. I know who he has feelings for.
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swimfan14
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2006 7 February :: 10.44pm
:: Mood: TIRED
The Play
Mishy's comment:
Re:, 02-07-06 10:21pm
You did too, I'm very proud of you.
You're on your way.
Remember me when you're famous, and remember the knives stabbing your back if your turn it to the audience hahah :)
Mishy would always tell me that to prevent me from turning my back to the audience and it would always work, so thank you.
I'm sad the play is over just because it was fun while it lasted but i'm also glad it's over because I really am exhausted with the practices and everything. I'm tired. We all did it, it's over and done with. It was awesome tonight. The talent in our class is great. I think everyone did a good job.
I was a lot more scared tonight than last night. I knew a lot of people there so it made me nervous. I seen a lot of people who I haven't seen in a long time so that made me really happy.
There's nothing like that.
I just wanted to let you know that i'm really dissapointed in you.
I have to go to bed. I'm falling asleep here.
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swimfan14
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2006 6 February :: 9.30pm
The play was awesome. Good job to everyone. We all did wonderful!
I was so scared before my monologue. I kept going over my lines in my head and I would completely forget them. I thought I was going to throw up and I really didn't enjoy how close the audience was. H wanted it to be "personal" and it definitely was personal enough for me when people were not even a foot away from my face. I'm also proud of myself and I never missed a single line. I know I need to talk slower though but I just get so nervous I talk really fast.
Tomorrow is the last night of the play. Thank god. I'm so tired of practicing and staying up late to memorize my lines. I'm happy that it will be over and it was an expierence i'll never forget.
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swimfan14
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2006 5 February :: 5.51pm
:: Mood: Tired/Exhausted
:: Music: Jimmy Eat World-Futures
Spring Hill was definitely amazing.
I don't really know how to explain it. I guess I basically just have a new outlook on everything.
I'm so tired and I feel like my arms are going to fall off. We were supposed to only have 16 girls in our cabin but somehow we ended up with 22 girls so a lot of us had to share beds. My cabin consisited of Brittany, Lisa, Me, Emily S, Dani, Megan, Annalise, Brittani, Lindsey, Janie, Sam, Kendra, Amber, Trisha, Pam, Ari, Erica, and then a few other people but I don't know all their names. It was so much fun in our cabin. I don't think any of us really slept much. Emily and I laughed all night so we kept a lot of people up.
We all went tubing a lot. I mean a lot, a lot. We went last night at midnight and we had 6 girls plus Austin and Bruce and we only had three tubes for all 8 of us. We all had to pile on and I was always on top of everyone because I was the lightest and I thought I was going to fall off and die. Lisa and I both fell off once but I didn't die though. It was a scary thing.
We won broomball again. Exciting? I know.
Ummm i'm trying to think of more stories....oh yeah..last night it was like almost 1am and I was taking a shower and then I came out of the bathroom and Austin, Cory, and Tyler were all standing there and they chased me and everyone got into a snowball fight.
The speaker was amazing. I could relate to almost everything he was saying. He made me laugh and cry basically all at the same time. The whole expierence changed me. I never really thought that going to something for one weekend could do that but, it does.
The band was awesome. Everyone knows why.
I can't really think of anything else right now but it was really awesome and if you didn't go this year then you should go next year. It's worth it, trust me.
I'll post Spring Hill pictures later.
I love you all.
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brokenmentality
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2006 5 February :: 11.15am
the rampage game on friday was awesome. my boyfriend is simply the COOLEST ever! *giggles.
after school keegan picked me up and brought me to bobbys because he had to be to van andle by 5... and it was so nice being able to hang out with bobby and talk to him for so long. even though we dont see eachother often.. he's like my big brother. i know he'd be protective of me and he so happy for me and keegan. the best thing about bobby.. is that he's just such a good guy. most guys flirt with girls regardless of who they're dating.. even if it IS their best friend. bobby isnt like that. everything is so comfortable and we talk about me and keegan and its just wonderful!
but anyways.. we got to the game at about 6:30 and before the game started at 7 keegans crew had already been on the field 3 different times! throwing stuff out into the crowd, flippin, doing a little free style... i was THATS MY BOYFRIEND! i mean seriously.. this is HUGE! and theres only 5 of them.. so its not like there's a bunch of people and you have to figure out which one he is. i was so excited i was like a little girl!
they're the rampage's promo team... so they helped with all the activities during time outs and everytime rampage made a touchdown they'd run out on the field with a big rampage flag and do flips and stuff then run off.
then they did their routine in between the 3rd and 4th quarter.. which was awesome because i finally got to see what they've been working on all this time at practices!
the coolest thing i think.. was when the game was over. they brought all these tables out onto the field and the players, rage dancers, and 61syx signed autographs for this 20 minute session. me and bobby just stood back and watched them. how amazing. a year ago they had JUST got together. since then they've improved SO much, they've been doing shows and NOW their signing autographs for little kids and adults.
i just cant get over how incredible huge this is. i had so much fun.. esp because i was with bobby. i just wanted to tell everyone around me everytime they came off the field.. THATS MY BOYFRIEND! I KNOW HIM! lol.
and the BEST thing about the night was that I was the one who got to go home with him. I'M the one who gets to tell him how incredibly proud i am of him and all his accomplishments. I'M the one thinks the world of him and cant possibly see myself without him.
i really think we're one of those power couples. we've got it all. and that is SO great.
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brokenmentality
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2006 2 February :: 9.00pm
i got my swirl dress. its perfect. a little tight (VERY corset-ish) but hell i dont care. it looks really good and its sooo pretty. i figure its my senior year, so as long as i look good and have fun i dont care the price. im so excited for swirl now. we're sticking with the theme.. my dress is yellow and perfect, and keegans going royal blue. and we're going just the two of us which will be nice. i love my girlfriends, but im really looking forward to sharing a special night with my best friend.
yearbook: good lord. what the fuck ever, thats all i have to say. im looking forward to taryn transfering into the class, finally we can have some one who can actually write and who'll get her work done. someone RESPONSIBLE. but i shouldnt get into that topic... i've ranted enough in the past few days.
ani difranco is really becomming spiritually reviving for me. her lyrics speak to me on so many levels.
keegans at his last practice before the rampage tomorrow. im SO excited! ahh!!! AND not only do i get to see them perform and be all cool and be like THATS MY BOYFRIEND to the 8,000 people around me (i love bragging about you!) but i'll be with bobby. i've missed him so much. im going over to bobbys tomorrow around 4:30 so we can hang out before the game. i think thats so cool.. that i can hang out with keegans friends with out him... its because they're my friends too and we LOVE eachother!!! me and his friends that is... laughs*
RAMPAGE!!!! i cant wait.... grrrr. im wearing keegans 61syx shirt and a rampage hat tomorrow to the game... so i can be like.. yeah im with the crew.. giggles* awwww im cute.
im tired.. but im waiting for the office to be on. i love that show.
alright... well that was a pointless entry.
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jennapie
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2006 2 February :: 7.33pm
whoo!! Today is mine and Jake's one month! It went SOOOO fast!!! But I'm seriously loving every single minute!!
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swimfan14
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2006 31 January :: 5.20pm
I can't stand Ms. Eilola anymore. Yesterday she wouldn't let me take a test because of an un-excused absense which I previously stated and I sort of understand her reaons but, then again I don't. Anyways, that's not my point. My point is that today I asked her if I could make up a differen't test that I also missed while I was out of school with mono and she told me no because it was too late. She can't just tell me I can't take a test. My grade was an A and now it's a C all because of that test I missed. I'm going to talk to Mr. A about it tomorrow I guess. She's dumb, I'm pissed, that's all there is to it.
I don't really have anything of importance to say. I can't believe H actually asked me if I was pregnant. Too bad i'm NOT.
I'm going to the game tonight with Emily, Logan, and Trisha. I have to drive because we all decided we don't want to die with Logan since he almost killed us the other day. He's a bad driver, not as bad as Dani though. You gotta love her.
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swimfan14
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2006 30 January :: 8.16pm
The worst part about being lied to is knowing I wasn't worth the truth. Oh well, whatever.
I've ate so much food today. I went out to lunch with Dani and we went to Arbys. Then when I came home I ate tons of chocolate chip bananna bread. After that I ate popcorn chicken. After that I ate shrimp and french fries from Red Lobster (I went there this weekend). Then after that my dad brought me fettichini alfredo *sp*, key lime shrimp, and oreo cheesecake. So I ate all that too. Haha I eat all the time. Stacy does too haha. I don't understand why i'm not fat. Seriously. I'm not complaining though, I just don't understand.
Ms. Eilola is really getting on my nerves. We have a student teacher so Ms. Eilola isn't even in our classroom and today she was standing outside the classroom like a little spy and she was looking into the little window on the door because when I came out she goes "Ashley, do you value your i-Pod?" and i'm like "yeah I guess" and she goes "well are you allowed to listen to it in school?" and i'm like "yeah, I am" and she got all pissed because I was being a bitch right back and she's like "no your not...next time I see you with that out i'm going to take it away" I was just like "okay haha w/e". So after that I walk away and then Josh comes out and I heard her say "Josh, do you value your cell phone?" I was like c'mon seriously shut up. She just finds ways to make everyones lives miserable, like mine isn't miserable enough!?!?! When she asked me if I valued my i-Pod I should have told her no because I can just buy a new one. That would really piss her off. So then I was pissed about that and our student teacher told me to come in during seminar to make up a test we had on Friday. So I come in and when I get there she tells me i'm not allowed to take it because Ms. Eilola said so. She's like "Ms. Eilola said you're not allowed to take it because you have an unexcused absense for Friday" That's so dumb. So because I wasn't in that class on Friday I get a zero for my test. Um ok. I wasn't really aware things work that way.
It really starts to hurt when I pretend that it doesn't. I try hiding it but I can't pretend it doesn't matter anymore. It does. Everyone can see all the things I don't want them to see. It happens. It's obvious. End of story.
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swimfan14
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2006 30 January :: 6.04pm
You make me sick. I can never trust you again. Everything I thought was real, turned out to be all a lie.
It doesn't matter what you do, it's what you did thats hurting you. All I needed was the truth, now i'm gone.
Seriously, for all of us, grow up.
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swimfan14
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2006 29 January :: 9.50pm
I don't know why I always do these when I get bored.
Today did you...
1. Talk to someone you liked: It doesn't matter if I like them anymore.
2. Buy something: Nope.
3. Get sick: I’ve been sick.
4. Sing: Yeah.
5. Make out: Yeah, because I have mono!?!?
8. Talk to an ex: Yeah basically.
9. Miss someone: Yep.
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Last person who....
10. Slept in your bed: Danielle Hansing always sleeps in my bed but this weekend I made Kelli and Elyse both sleep on the floor.
11. Saw you cry: My mom seen me crying today. Well she didn’t really see me cry but when I got home I could tell she noticed I was crying.
12. Made you cry: I'm pretty sure he knows who he is.
13. Went to the movies with?: I don’t remember.
14. You went to the mall with: Elyse
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16. Ever been in a fight with your pet: No.
17. Been to California: Yes!
18. Been to Mexico: Cancun!
19. Been to Canada: Yeah.
20. Been to Europe: Nope.
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Random.....
21. Do you have a crush on someone: No.
22. What book are you reading now: A Gossip Girl Book.
23. Best feeling in the world: Being happy.
25. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: No.
26. What's under your bed: Purses.
27. Favorite sports to watch: Basketball.
28. Location: Mi casa.
29. Piercing/Tattoos: My ears.
30. What are you most scared of right now: We wont go there.
31. Where do you want to get married?: Not sure.
32. Who do you really hate?: I only hate one person and she isn't even worth mentioning.
33. Do you have a job: Haha yeah right.
34. Do you like being around people?: Yeah most of the time.
35. Have you ever liked someone u didn't have a chance with?: Looks that way doesn't it?
36. Have you ever cried: What kind of question is this? Obviously everyone's cried.
37. Are you lonely right now: Not really.
38. Song that's stuck in your head right now: So sick of love songs, so tired of tears, so sick of wishing you were still here.
40. Gotten beaten up: No.
42. Been on radio/TV: TV a few times but not the radio.
43. Been in a mosh-pit: No.
44. Ever liked someone, but u think they never noticed you? No I’m pretty sure if I like someone then I will make them notice me.
45. Ever liked someone who treated you like shit? Yep.
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Everyone has their firsts....
1. First real best friend: Probably Chloe.
2. First school: I don’t remember what it was called.
3. First screenname: I don’t remember. It was something about being a spoiled brat.
4. First funeral: I’ve been to so many I don’t even remember.
5. First big trip: I don’t know maybe Florida or Cancun or Cali. I can’t remember.
6. First flight: I don’t remember.
7. First celebrity love: I don’t know.
8. First job: I’ve never had a job.
*Everyone also has their lasts...
1. Last person you hugged: My dad!!
2. Last song you heard: Fall To Pieces. It makes me sad.
3. Last car ride: A few hours ago.
4. Last time you cried: Today. Jeez.
5. Last movie you watched: Wedding Crashers
6. Last food you ate: I haven’t ate all day.
7. Last person of the opposite sex that you talked to: Ian.
8. Last item bought: Clothes at the mall yesterday.
9. Last shirt worn: a pink abercrombie tank top
10. Last phone call: Emily Sorensen called like an hour ago.
11. Last text message: like five minutes ago
12. Last thing you touched: Keyboard
13. Last Funeral: My uncles.
14. Last time at the mall?: Saturday.
15. Last time you were excited about something? I’m not excited for anything anymore.
16. Last person you saw: Sister.
17. Last thing you said to someone: I said "So Em wants to hang out on Tuesday okay?"
18. Last person that broke ur heart: Like I would really put his name here.
19. Last time you've been happy: A while ago.
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swimfan14
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2006 29 January :: 12.58pm
I looked away
Then I look back at you
You try to say
The things that you can't undo
If I had my way
I'd never get over you
Today's the day
I pray that we make it through
Make it through the fall
Make it through it all
And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
Cuz I'm in Love With you
You're the only one,
I'd be with till the end
When I come undone
You bring me back again
Back under the stars
Back into your arms
Wanna know who you are
Wanna know where to start
I wanna know what this means
Wanna know how you feel
Wanna know what is real
I wanna know everything, everything
And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
Cuz I'm in Love With you.
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jennapie
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2006 29 January :: 10.58am
ahhhhh, sparky! you are my everything, and I can't wait to see you again, since we don't see each other everyday or anything! I miss you!!! You did so good last night, and my family had so much fun!!! They thought you did awesome too! muah! We're perfect!
oh yea, Jake and I had our first dance last night! whoo! It was so fun!
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