~*Nothing But Drama*~

~*Nothing But Drama*~

:: 2005 14 July :: 10.38pm

So guess what? Next week I'm going to New York! I'm really excited. I'm leaving on Monday and I will be back next Sunday or Monday. I'm so psyched. Out of all the places I've went, it's never been New York so finally!

I just bought a pink i-Pod but it wont come until Monday and that really doesn't help me since I'll be going to New York.

I don't even know what just happened but what I do know is that it makes me sad. Sometimes it's easier to say I don't care than to explain why I really do.

I guess I just got tired of being the last thing on your mind.

I cant think about this anymore. The more I think about it, the more I realize it's never going to happen.

Here we go again with the mixed emotions and second thoughts.

Yeah I wish too.

LiL BiT Of HeLp!

swimfan14

:: 2005 13 July :: 9.20pm

Sometimes I forget that it's okay to smile.

LiL BiT Of HeLp!

brokenmentality

:: 2005 13 July :: 11.56am

i'm meeting some more of my family on saturday... what an odd thing to say..... seems to me its been an overdue meeting.. but whatever, ya gotta start somewhere.

alyssas comming over after work tonight... we're gonna be all girly and figure out what i should where for my senior pictures... she was a model last for the photography place that i'm gonna be modeling for.. i go in saturday morning to get all the information... alyssa said she saved hundreds on her senior pictures, so im really excited.

i cant go to blues cuz i have to work, and theres no way im gonna drive down there and get lost downtown and then walk by myself to where they break dance..... but next wednesday....

i really need to concentrate on losing some of the roundness of my face, and belly, and legs.... .blahhhh... now isnt the time for a self-meltdown. ahh well... people always tell me how cute my cheeks are.. maybe i should start believing them... riiight.

it kindof sucks to know that she left me in the dark about this... i dont understand her. things used to be..... well hmmm, i shouldnt get into it.. because obviously things will never be the same, we will never be us again, and sometime in our far future, occasional cards at christmas will recap some of the memories that we'll neglect to recall otherwise.

i got my hair highlighted... nobody ever takes my advice.. but seriously go to Colleen at Xscape salon in rockford, she's the only person i'll go to for my hair and its SUPER affordable. i get two colors done in my hair all throughout.. not just on top and it only costs me about 45-50 dollars... and my hair is almost as long as my back... GO THERE!

yay for keegan getting a job at logans! im so excited for him.. now he works at our restaurant! woohu!

LiL BiT Of HeLp!

jennapie

:: 2005 12 July :: 6.38pm
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: Heaven~Warrant

Ever wish things were like they used to be?

I'm talking like last year, or when we were in kindergarten and we could go "play" with all of our little friends, and we had absolutley no worries what-so-ever? I do all the time. I wish that I had nothing to worry about except how devestating it would be if my 5 year old friends told Mitch Cargill that I had a crush on him. Oh, it was wonderful being in kindergarten. Don't you miss show and tell where you got to brag about the cool toy you just got, or you got to bring in your new puppy? Ummm...I think I'm having some kind of going to college crisis!! Help! lol

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brokenmentality

:: 2005 12 July :: 2.32am

me and keegan had a bonfire tonight... just the two of us.

we ran into town and got stuff to make smores, and it was dark so we had the whole "camping" experience goin on.... it was wonderfull.

i do believe that im becomming obsessed with pigs in a blanket.. keegans mom makes them all the time *for me...te he he* and im gonna become the name of the little piggys... or perhaps just that.. a little piggy. *giggles and wrinkles nose up all cute-like

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glitterkisses

:: 2005 11 July :: 8.52pm

I HAVE A NEW JOURNAL NOW PEOPLE

I wanted to make a fresh start, leave certain things and memories in the past where they belong, new start, so here ya go, add me, i wont be using this journal anymore.

woohu.com/~jes

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glitterkisses

:: 2005 11 July :: 6.10pm

Just got home from the doctor's, and from getting some soup at big Boy to bring home. I have strep throat. *grrr* So stay away from Jess...

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brokenmentality

:: 2005 9 July :: 11.22am

im getting my hair highlighted today... i went tanning last night..... im like geeeeze whats getting in to me!?

must be the senior pictures.

LiL BiT Of HeLp!

jennapie

:: 2005 8 July :: 10.14pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: Break Down Here ~ Julie Roberts

still pissed
why can't I be happy with myself. and with my life?

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brokenmentality

:: 2005 8 July :: 2.22pm

we got alot accomplished today.

im watching shelby... on top of everything else....

buuutttt..... keegan came over this morning and the three of us watched scooby doo... and then he mowed our front yard.. which is a PRETTY big front yard, i cleaned my room and bathroom, organized my red flannel box, made lunch on the grill, and keegan just brought our screen door in to be fixed... now i have to drop shelby off at her babysitters, go to work, and then tan so i can be nice and dark for my senior pictures..

ahh... we're almost seniors....

i think i have this disease where i cant stop spending money at abercrombie and hollister... its terrible... 100 dollars on 3 shirts... im sure thats not healthy!

mmm... but they DO look good.

well... i should probably clean up. im lookin pretty scary right about now.......

ohhhhh... me and keegan went to the lakes mall yesterday and then to grand haven.. it was nice. the sun felt so good... so what if the water was to cold and even kind of hurt.... it was a good day.

LiL BiT Of HeLp!

swimfan14

:: 2005 8 July :: 10.28am
:: Mood: sad

I found out this morning that my uncle died yesterday from Cancer and the thing is, we just found out like a week ago that he had it in the first place but at least I can say I seen him before he died. Anyways he lived in Tennessee and alot of our family does so my dad and I are flying out there, my dad just bought our plane tickets and thank god we dont have to drive there or back and were leaving tomorrow and I will be back sometime early next week. It goes Tennnessee, California, Tennnesse, and then soon to be California again. I'm not complaining about going places expect this time, because most people don't look forward to funerals and crying upset people. Also the thing that pisses me off is my parents both smoke and my uncle just had cancer from smoking and thats why he died and last summer my aunt died from the same exact thing but they don't seem to fucking get the clue. It's really annoying but now I'm in a bad mood. I lost one of my friends and now my uncle, can't that be enough?

Thanks for not being here when I needed you- and you know exactly what im talking about.

I'm going to go pack.

Goodbye everyone.

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swimfan14

:: 2005 7 July :: 10.22pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: dumb girls-lucy woodward

Today my sister wanted me to go lay out and go swimming in our pool so I said I would and then I remembered I was washing all three of my bathing suits so then she just told me to wear my bathing suits from last year but I didn't want to do that because, well I dont really know I just dont like wearing old clothes I guess lol I dont know but anyways so shes like well can we stop the washer to take them out and Im dumb and said no and she believed me so we opened it and it was spinning really fast with water and we kept trying to reach in and grab my bathing suits and it tooks us like 10 minutes to do so and we kept getting our arms caught in it and it hurt really bad it was so funny and so finally we get a matching top and bottom out of it and I dropped one of them back in there on accident..it was horriable and then afterwards when I already got one of the bathing suits out she goes "didn't you just get another new bathing suit" and I forgot that I just got another one and it was upstairs in my room..so we did all that work for nothing and almost lost our arms but it was soo worth it because now im so tan it's just great.

im not in the mood to type so im going to go find something to do.

Good night.

<3Ashley

LiL BiT Of HeLp!

brokenmentality

:: 2005 7 July :: 12.37am

i went to blues tonight after my modeling consultation... it was pretty cool. they guys from 61syx are pretty awesome.. i still get nervous when keegan does flips.. esp when its on concrete and he's tryin some for the first time... but dammnn is it so cool!

i just got home... im grounded right now... so i guess my moms definition of grounded must be "be home by midnight" we'll have to slowly work back up to 2-3 in the next few days... laughs* being grounded isnt half bad.... i think i can spare a couple of hours for a few days... no longer then that though... hmph.

my cell's been dead for like a week..i just havent gotten around to charging it... and damn.. i should charge my camera cuz we're going to the beach tomorrow.... mmmmm... looks at complicated bateries and such..... nawww not complicated, more like "takes effort" and im tired so NO... hmph.... .im such a baby.

keegan had his interview at Logans today.... we're in there at LEAST 2-3 times a week, so since he's looking for a waitor job... figured HEY why not work at our resturant?! i say OURS because im sure if it wasnt for our frequent visits.. they would be out of business.. FER sure.

mmmm keegans dad made us steak today.... i hadnt had steak in a LONG time... then me, emma, and his dad played trivial pursuit... it was fun. keegan wouldnt play.... jerk.

i can see emma and me becomming really close... we're already pretty close and i KNOW she likes me alot.. his whole family does... sounds cliche, but his house is really like my second home. his mom even labled a part of his room "Erika Dawns" lol.... and then grouped all my stuff there... it was cute. i had kind of a dissapointment today, so right after i called my mom, i called keegans mom.... i just think thats so coooooool! ugrahh! i love them all... except keegan *winks....

i love how everyone is always like... you're so in love, or something like that... and we're like nooooo we're not.. not yet anyways. because its true. we arent... why rush something thats already so beautifull? but i sure am loving every second of falling in love with that boy.

night angels....

LiL BiT Of HeLp!

jennapie

:: 2005 7 July :: 12.32am

how come everything is going down the pooper? I can't stand this! ugh! Everything has to suck all at once, why can't everything go bad at different times, so then I don't feel so overwhelmed and unable to stay in control of my life? Why do I have to care, why does it bother me? oh yea! becasue I hate it when people stick their noses into my business! I DON'T WANT ANYONE telling me what to do EVER! not with my friends, not with my family, and especially not with me! I can make my own decisions, and if you haven't noticed yet! I DO! and no matter what anyone tells me, I won't change for them, my opinions are MINE! I don't care what anyone thinks of them. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against new ideas and differing opinions, I just don't want anyone telling me that I have to change mine, I accept others for theres. So why do you feel the need to walk all over me for mine? And DON'T EVER EVER EVER put words into my mouth that I didn't say. That is a big mistake, and then when you go and tell the country what you "thought" I meant, that is another BIG mistake. Because then people get mad at me. I don't care how long we don't talk. As long as you understand that I'm NOT YOU! and I'm not going to talk about people behind their backs with you! Don't get mad at me when I won't. It's really none of your business what I think is right and wrong, I guess I just have stronger morals than you do. UGH! I can't talk about this, don't talk to me!

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swimfan14

:: 2005 6 July :: 5.22pm
:: Music: Goodbye To You!

You still don't get it, nothing I ever say makes you get it and theres no way im going to just come out and say it.

I'm fighting for a hopeless case.

How come I can tell him it's not worth doing but sometimes I feel like doing the same thing?

LiL BiT Of HeLp!