them Damn Yankees

:: 2006 24 November :: 1.30am

ughghghghhgg...

i can't sleep when i'm all alone.

bleh. should i go shopping tomorrow?

cedarjournal
[ tabletop ]

:: 2006 23 November :: 9.54pm

Hey Cedar Springs, Happy Thanksgiving!
What are you thankful for?

:: 2006 23 November :: 10.25am

thanksgiving!!!
i am thankful for:
ice cream
my friends
school being paid for
mi hermano's stupid hair
little mermaid glasses
robby carlstrom
being a girl
knowing what was going on in chem lab the other day
working on thanksgiving . . . seriously. my family is crazy.

3 comments | comment.

:: 2006 22 November :: 11.57pm

okay well i wrote the hugest entry about how i love roman. and it got deleted ...

but let's just sum it up shall we.

Romey, I love you babe.

and i love my family too.

:: 2006 22 November :: 6.04pm

I am so upset by the whole Michael-Richards-going-crazy-and-being-all-rascist-and-then-going-on-Letterman-and-looking-even-more-stupid-trying-to-apologize thing that I can't even enjoy Seinfeld anymore.

I CAN'T EVEN ENJOY SEINFELD ANYMORE!!!

good goin' Kramer.

:: 2006 18 November :: 6.25pm
:: Mood: confused

help

okay seriously. why cant i do my homework. i just wont allow myself to do it. i seriously wont. what is wrong with me?

and it's not just this.

i can't

do

anything.

ugh. but hey i already knew that so whatevv. ............................ i knew i'd be like this. i knew it. is it wrong that i just want to get married and have kids. it's not that i dont ever want to get an education or have a job. i'm smart. and i like feeling like i'm good at a job or whatever but i just dont .............want that...?? i just want to be a mom. that's so bad! no it's not. it's not bad. it's not bad that i want a family and that i want to be a great mom and have a great family why is that wrong? that's not wrong? but yet i dont want all that SO YOUNG. i dont want all that right now . but i just dont enjoy .................. i dont enjoy like ...working for this undefinable goal that i'm supposed to have since i have a scholarship and blah blah blah but every one says that medical assisting is not enough. well i'm sorry, i'm not striving for this goal to become a doctor or pharmacist or biochemical engineer or whatev. i just dont ... want that

so is something wrong with me because i feel like that? explain it to me.

3 comments | comment.

:: 2006 12 November :: 9.24pm

Create Your Own!

:: 2006 10 November :: 9.43pm

ugh i am scheduled to work at FIVE AM tomorrow again. that is so stupid.

so stupid.

they should make people who dont go to school work at 5 am. people who it doesn't really matter if they have to work at 5 am because it doesn't throw off their life because the only thing they have scheduled to do in their life is work. people who don't have to write huge research papers that are due on monday. that's who should work 5 am shifts.

well i got moved up to head cashier so at least if i stay at that position i wont ever have to open at 5 ever again. and i love hardly ever having to talk to guests. ahhh it's so nice. stupid stupid guests how i hate you.

:: 2006 9 November :: 1.57pm

I can't believe Caleb is two weeks old today. It seems like everything happened just yesterday. He's doing so well. His jaundice is all gone now so we don't have to keep going to the hospital every single day. He's sleeping right now. His hair is getting longer and it's sticking up really cute. I had no idea how expensive it is to have a baby these days. The hospital bill just came and luckily the insurance covered all of it. All $6,300 of it! I guess just to be in the hospital was $849 a day. And the delivery room was almost $3000. I got the suite though, so that might've had something to do with it. haha. Today we're going to the mall. My mom took us yesterday and we got him a TON of clothes. Old Navy was having a huge sale. You can't beat $0.98 shirts and pants and such. And they're cute. And we got him these cute little boy boots at Gap. And painter jeans. Okay, now he just needs to grow into them. Alright, I was excited about it, but it's probably just boring ol stuff. :-) He's picking his head up a lot now.

Oh, I signed up for a class, all the culinary ones are filled right now. But I'm taking pottery class with Becca! :-)

:: 2006 6 November :: 11.46am

i dont know what to do with my life. and i hate it.

:: 2006 5 November :: 11.20pm

today has been bad.
this weekend has been bad.
a lot of things have been bad.

i want to go to sleep but my stomach is upset and i feel really nervous.
it hasn't been this bad since high school.

:: 2006 5 November :: 9.28am

does anybody believe that your dreams have deeper, real meaning?

4 comments | comment.

:: 2006 3 November :: 3.33pm

So we made it to the library today :-)

Caleb is doing so well. He's sleeping right now though. I thought I'd post some more pictures. Sorry the other ones were so big. Actually, I'm running out of time so some pics might still be huge. oops.

This is right after delivery.

This is with Daddy

I think he looks like a little jailbird. He's a week old in this picture.

4 comments | comment.

:: 2006 2 November :: 10.25pm

what is wrong with me........

:: 2006 1 November :: 3.09pm

Listen up ya'll, Cuz this is it
The beat that I'm bangin' is de-li-cious

Fergalicious definition make them boys go loco
They want my treasure so they get their pleasures from my photo
You could see you, you can't squeeze me
I ain't easy, I ain't sleazy
I got reasons why I tease 'em
Boys just come and go like seasons

Fergalicious (so delicious)
But I ain't promiscuous
And if you was suspicious
All that shit is fictitious
I blow kisses (mmmwwahhh)
That puts them boys on rock, rock
And they be lining down the block just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)

So delicious (It's hot, hot)
So delicious (I put them boys on rock, rock)
So delicious (they wanna slice of what I got)
Fergalicious (t-t-t-t-t-tasty, tasty)

Fergalicious def-, Fergalicious def-, Fergalicious def-
Fergalicious definition make them boys go crazy
They always claim they know me
Comin' to me call me Stacy
I'm the F to the E, R, G the I the E
And can't no other lady put it down like me

I'm Fergalicious
My body stay vicious
I be up in the gym just working on my fitness
He's my witness
I put yo' boy on rock rock
And he be lining down the block just to watch what I got

So delicious (It's hot, hot)
So delicious (I put them boys on rock, rock)
So delicious (they wanna slice of what I got)
Fergalicious (hold hold hold hold hold up, check it out)

Baby, baby, baby
If you really want me
Honey get some patience
Maybe then you'll get a taste
I'll be tasty, tasty, I'll be laced with lacey
It's so tasty, tasty, It'll make you crazy

T to the A to the S T E Y girl you tasty, T to the A to the S T E Y girl you tasty
D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the, to the, to the, hit it Fergie

All the time I turn around always brotha's gather round always looking at me up and down looking at my
I just wanna say it now I ain't tryin to round up drama little mama I don't wanna take your man
And I know I'm comin off just a little bit conceited and I keep on repeating how the boys wanna eat it
But I'm tryin' to tell, that I can't be treated like clientele
Cuz' they say she

Delicious (So delicious)
But I ain't promiscuous
And if you was suspicious
All that shit is fictitious
I blow kisses (mmmwwahhh)
That puts them boys on rock, rock
And they be lining down the block just to watch what I got (got, got, got)
Four, tres, two, uno
My body stay vicious
I be up in the gym just working on my fitness
He's my witness (oooh wee)
I put yo' boy on rock rock
And he be lining down the block just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)

So delicious
So delicious
So delicious
I'm Fergalicious, t-t-t-t-t tasty, tasty

It's so delicious
So delicious
So delicious
I'm Fergalicious, t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t

T to the A to the S T E Y girl you tasty, T to the A, to the S T E Y girl you tasty
T to the A to the S T E Y girl you tasty, T to the A, to the, to the (four, tres, two, uno)
D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the L I C I O U S to the
D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the, to the, to the (four, tres, two, uno)

T to the A to the S T E Y girl you tasty, T to the A to the S T E Y girl you tasty
T to the A to the S T E Y girl you tasty, T to the A, to the, four, tres, two, uno
D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the L I C I O U S to the
D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the, to the, to the, to the, to the.....

:: 2006 30 October :: 11.24pm

I will be the answer
At the end of the line
I will be there for you
While you take the time
In the burning of uncertainty
I will be your solid ground
I will hold the balance
If you can't look down

If it takes my whole life
I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end
Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all gone out
You'll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind
Take me to a
Place so holy
That I can wash this from my mind
The memory of choosing not to fight

If it takes my whole life
I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end
'Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all burned out
You'll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind

:: 2006 30 October :: 10.36pm

well shit isnt' this just peachy. what the hell i want something to do.

:: 2006 30 October :: 9.40pm

Thanks everybody! Just wanted to post some pictures and get into the gross details. hahaha.

So Tuesday night we went to the Childbirth class we were supposed to make up a few weeks before, and we're like "Uh, we're actually in early labor right now." And so the instructor told us that we had probably 24 hours. And she was right. Wednesday we went a walk and went shopping for some last minute stuff. Then around 11pm while Charlie was on the phone with his mom, asking what it was like when her water broke, mine broke. So we went to the hospital and I started having awful back labor but they couldn't give me anything for a while. Then the stadol. That stuff works. So we tried to sleep a little. Thursday morning I was in the pushing stage and Charlie says between having some of the contractions that actually push the baby out, I said "And now we play the waiting game!" hahaha. So it hurt. A lot. I had 2 episiotomies, and vacuum extraction because he was in the posterior position. She actually reached her hands in to turn him, and he turned back around. So we had to do it. And it hurt. And I am horribly horribly bruised. But he's here! We were at the hospital until Saturday afternoon. He has some jaundice so we're trying to get rid of it. I haven't slept basically since Tuesday.

Here are the pictures!

Here's Charlie and I after labor:

Here's Caleb on his wormy play-mat, he has a billy blanket for his jaundice that's why he's glowing:

He likes to sleep with his arms above his head all stretched out, it's so cute!

6 comments | comment.

:: 2006 30 October :: 8.34am

gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
need
food
now.

seriously.

ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut.

:: 2006 29 October :: 7.30am

OH MY GOD. people are so STUPID!!!

ugh

:: 2006 27 October :: 3.30pm

Caleb James is here! He is a beautifu little boy and we love him so extremely much! I'm still at the hospital trying to walk around and stuff so I figured I would let everyone know.

He was born Oct. 26, 12:07 pm, and he weighed 6 lbs. 10 oz. He is 19 inches long and has beautiful blue eyes. And we think maybe auburn hair. So it was a 12 hour labor but we've been at the hospital since Wednesday night. I had a TON of awful back labor so then on Thursday, well, I'll try to save the details, but it was the most painful thing I've ever done. But well worth it. I'll post some pictures when I get a chance. :-)

7 comments | comment.

:: 2006 25 October :: 11.58am

So....
Charlie and I are at Beaners right now :-)
I'm in early labor and have been since yesterday. We went to the doctor and I'm dilating and 70% effaced. We're so excited. Last night we had to make up one of our childbirth classes and it made me a little nervous knowing that everything would be happening in the next couple days or so. We're really happy.

Baby will be here either tonight or tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3 comments | comment.

:: 2006 23 October :: 5.28pm

So. At Beaner's again. Drinking a large hot cocoa again. Yummmm.
This baby is coming, probably this week. I just organized all of the cupboards and cleaned the house yesterday. And I didn't get sick this morning like usual. At my last appt. the baby weighed about 7 lbs. 8-10 oz. So this will be a healthy baby :-) Hooray. Everything is pretty much set and I'm ready! I'm so excited.

:: 2006 21 October :: 4.34am

oh my gosh.

i woke up at 4 am today .

do you want to know why?

so i can go to menards. MENARDS. what kind of crazy person shops at 5 am at menards. or anywhere for that matter.

i have no idea why they scheduled me for 5 am. i thought they had designated people committed to ruining their lives and getting up that early and working the 5 am shifts. but i guess not???

i can not believe i am going to work this early. god i'm crazy. I HATE MENARDS!

:: 2006 14 October :: 5.38pm

i am bored. i should be doing homework, but i really don't care all that much.
i think i may go to my grandmas house before we all go to jakes.
that would be a good time, let me tell you . . .
my grandma-she is crazy.
she's a bad ass.
for sure.

ooh now i am really excited i got myself all worked up about grandma.
now if i don't go i am going to be really sad.

gosh.

grandma!!!!!!!

you're the bomb
you rock my life
you made my mom
will you be my wife??

well, maybe that is going too far.
i don't know.
this is getting weird.

i'm so sorry.

:: 2006 13 October :: 5.02pm

So the ultra-sound was today. Baby weighs about 6 lbs 14 oz. Whoooo. And I had the sonographer get a picture of the gender and then she put it in a sealed envelope so I could have it for the baby book. So now at home I have this envelope that seals the big question! And I can't open it now. Ahhhh! :-D

4 comments | comment.

:: 2006 12 October :: 4.58pm

Whoooo
I am so happy. Charlie and I are planning more dates now. Like tonight. After he gets home from work. And tomorrow. And a color-tour to Holland on Saturday. :-) I am extra extra excited.
And tomorrow we have an ultra-sound. They may take me early. Any time now...

:: 2006 11 October :: 4.30pm

so mitch told his friends that i am a lesbian.
im ok with that.

perhaps i should try it out next semester when robbys away.
heck maybe ill just try it now.

8 comments | comment.

:: 2006 11 October :: 12.20pm

So I must vent just a tad to just feel just a tad bit better.

I have changed my major from Paralegal studies to Nursing. Reason being: my full scholarship Lettinga Campus scholarship things has JUST changed the rules and instead of only being allowed to use the scholarship at the either of the two Grand Rapids Davenport campuses, I am now allowed to use the scholarship at any Davenport campus. There are many.

There are 3 campuses that offer the nursing program. Midland, Dearborn and Warren.

Long story short, next year, if all goes well, Roman and I will be moving to the Detroit (Dearborn or Warren) area and living there and going to school and being 2 and a half hours away from any sort of Cedar-ish area.

My scholarship is renewable up to 4 years. But there is a catch. I must earn a 3.4 GPA or better. So, if my math is correct, if I am taking four 3-credit hours, I can afford to get two B+'s as long as I get two A-'s or A's. I am pretty sure I can do it, but I need to set my standards higher. I used to think that a B was a pretty good grade, not that great, but I can deal with it. Now, I need to accept nothing less than an A.

I'm scared.

Okay different subject.

I know i'm just a lil ol white girl from non-diverse Cedar Springs and I'm not saying that peoples' feelings or thoughts especially of themselves and their history and yada yada isn't important but it is really necessary to cry in an English 110 class over a fricken article? IS IT? okay, that sounds very insensitive, but come on, if anyone knows me they know i am very sensitive. It's okay to feel strongly about it and to have those feelings in you and to really be that upset about the thing as a whole but not this article. It was a thought-provoking satire. A THOUGHT-PROVOKING SATIRE. THAT'S ALL!

I honestly can't take it.

in other news. roman and i bought bikes and rode a lot and had fun and rode them all the way downtown as in ridin along on wealthy and fulton and division. it was fun. and the day before that we rode on some trail and saw a deer and a fawn and then we ended up on 52nd and rode all the way back to burlingame and then home. it was so fun. coolie cool.

"Hey popo! We're ridin dirty but I betcha can't tell!!!"

:: 2006 11 October :: 12.11pm

ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmgggggggggggggggggggggg

seriously, i'm gonna kill myself. i knew i shouldn't have came to english today. why is it that everything that people say seriously feel like knives poking into my spine. i CANNOT stand people.

"my fiance"

bull shit you prissy little bitch. two weeks ago you were screwing the milkman.

i wanna throw up and also i want to leave school. i'm so stressed out

shannon do you have my yearbook? can i get it? do you have it? whadoido

omgggggggggggggggggggggggggggg I HATE .......... it's like blah blah blah blha blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. people think everything they have on their mind is so damn important. not everything a person thinks needs to be heard by everyone in the room. shut your mouth and if you really feel like expressing your feelings, go right it in a journal. I seem to be doing a fine job of it myself...

UGH