eh
so much for not doing things like i usually do them. fucking patterns. cus yeah did it again, although this time it was different. the shitty feeling that meant i cared happened after the fact. great. super. i'm a fucking retard. enjoy.

blah
i don't feel so good. yeah not good at all now. not after what i just found out. i'm scared. not just parinoid scared. like REALLY scared. and there's reasons. i don't want to type them all out right now because i think i'd freak out even more than now...and believe me its bad. i called loie to meet me here so i won't be alone when i walk to my car. shit shit shit shit....so if anyone isn't busy wed night from 5-7 or from like 6-7 or even 6:30-7 and friday from 7-8 and on saturday from 5-7 and sunday 4-6 please please please let me know. you can come to uhaul and do your homework and serf the net. those are the times that i'm alone and don't want to be. just to clue you in there is suspicious cars and someone wrote on my mom's car last night and put trash under it so we know someone's around here...like waiting for us to close or something. and also recently there has been these hang up calls...like usually it just hangs up before we get a chance to say somehting but now we can actually hear them hang up........so yeah. call me if you can do that for me. cus i'm scared. really scared.

eh
The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Low
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

...
i'm stupid. lets just leave it at that. stupid stupid stupid. did i not learn my lesson before? apparenlty not cus i'm stupid.

Seth, Seth, Seth...how I love to say your name
who's seth? haha

ok so stop the mind games. if you are playing them with me stop. its pissing me off. i could be wrong and no one could be doing it but i have a feeling that someone is. be fucking honest. please. i hate mind games. especially when they lead nowhere. that's all.

i have to pee
i love this song. its good. 6 min left. i feel old. yup. wow. hopefully tonight is fun. amanda STILL hasn't called...not sure if I should call her or wait for her to call me....tricky tricky....either way i have to go to allendale to unload my car and stuff. so yeah. should go. must pee. probably will wait until 7 so i can turn the phones off and then i can check the doors and stuff. it sucks being her alone at night. its boring and i'm always scared when i go in the back that the door was unlocked and there's a mass murderer or like a robber or something back there waiting to kill me....so yup. going to go. bye!!!

my ass hurts
4 hours. well 3 hours and 58 min. but you might as well say 4 hours. i'm a bit bored. it feels like a sunday only instead of getting out at 6 its 7. amanda still hasn't called but i'm sure she will later. if she doesn't i will be probably most likely at the pierce house or with laura z or at the pierce house WITH laura z. i miss that chick. christina still has my bracelets. i hope more people sent me money for formal, because if they didn't then they can't go. even if they said they wanted to. its quite chilly in this place. i almost want to go out tonight, get dressed up and go out to a club or something. that would be fun. a week from today. SWEET!!! wow i'm a little scatterbrained today. i have a little bit of a headache. well ok, a BIG headache. i'm here alone from 4-7. sure that's only 3 hours but its SOOOOO dead in here. its like a holiday or something. i tried sleeping but its too bright in here. so looks like its surfing the net for me again when i'm done updating. not like i have a WHOLE lot to update. my mom measured my dress to shorten it. haha haha i'm short. the doctors went fine. i love my shoes. they are pretty. right then that's about it. i'm in allentucky again tonight i'm staying. so yup. you wanna hang out, holler at your girl. don't be scared!!! ;)

eh
eh. just eh. so should be reading, that seems like a pattern with me. i always should be reading but i never am. actually skimming is more like what i'm going to do. i'll also study on monday and part of sunday as well. i need to do some other stuff as well that has to do with the sorority that i definatly havn't gotten done like i should have. damn uhaul and being busy this week, or i would have gotten it done. always someone calling and wanting some piece of equipment that we do not have. great. it makes for a super spring break. although i'll be getting 40 hours in though so that's nice. that's like $300 dollars...well more like $290ish. but hey that's still a lot more than i would normally be getting for one week's worth of work where if i'm lucky i get about 15 hours in. if i'm lucky 20.
i have 1 hour and 30min left. that's sad that i know that. kristen is coming over tonight to watch a movie while i do laundry and get my dress pinned to be shortened. i seriously am SUPER pumped for formal. i mean REALLY REALLY REALLY pumped!!!!! sorry mark. the wedding over break started it, i just love my sisters to death and dancing there with them was just awsome!! i don't care if we would've had to have it in the grand river room, it still would have been fun! but now its better because we can go back to the hotel and have a little "fun!" ;) tee hee one week from tomorrow. that's SOON!!

i'm going to midland on sunday to visit my grandma with my mom and my sister. i havn't been there in a while, probably when my grandpa died. its going to be hard. but she was/still is an awsome woman and i only wish i spent more time with her to really understand her. but i was younger and by the time that i got to be of age where spending time with family and learning from them really mattered, not like it ever doesn't matter, it was too late. all you can do now is just hear the stories from your parents and look at the pictures. its sad but i guess that is life. i think that is the one thing i regret most in this life so far, is not spending time with them like i should have. i was SO close at CMU but i never did it, i don't know if i was too scared or to immature or what but i really regret that. cus you can never get it back. i missed so much of his wisdom. sorry bout that, no one really ever listens to me when i try to talk about it or i just feel like i shouldn't be bothering them with it and its just easier to type it all out. sorta helps.

supposed to go out with amanda on saturday, not sure if that will transpire because it never really does. so i'll be in allendale after work if i don't go out. i need to do homework like a mother. i have to research a paper, read for another, and study for a test. really i shouldn't go out but if i tell her no now it will sound like a bullshit excuse not to spend time with her. and really i should want to, we are just so different. but i will. because i actually want to for some reason. i just don't like the attitude that i get when i am not home home enough to "please" her and jason (my brother). i don't think i'll ever be really good enough for them. which is funny because i'm the one in college. not like jason or amanda have bad lives, they don't. i don't know. its hard to have siblings. there's always that unconcious competition between them. but yeah.
so there is this guy michael that works in kalamazoo. well his wife has breast cancer. and its bad. she is in this experimental group thing..but that's not the point. well you would think, this being his place of employment that he would keep some of it secret and just like you share the BIG stuff that would have to do with him missing work or something. but NOOO he shares EVERYTHING! too much in fact. i understand that it is hard, i mean hell. well i can't really "understand" because i've never been through something like that, but he will call and talk to heather (a lady who works here) for like 20min telling her all his problems and explain how he even TELLS customers that he doesn't care and that he has bigger things to worry about...and he knows, i don't know how, that i am jim (his boss) and julie's (my boss) daughter and says stuff to me about how nice my parents are and he asks for "my mom" or "my dad" when i am working. he is always thanking me or my parents for our prayers. he even hugged my mom!!!! so finally tonight after he asked me if "my dad" was going to fire him for having to redo a trailor certification (like i know, hell i pretty much no nothing about uhaul, i just pull everything out of my ass most of the time) and he really didn't want to be fired because of what's going on now he needs his job (i don't think he knows that if keeps this shit up I may fire him...tee hee not really) i told my mom to tell him to stop saying "your mom" and "your dad" and stop asking me to say stuff like that to them when i'm out of the office. it was seriously making me uncomfortable. if anyone else says it, with the exception of some center managers who i knew way before i ever worked here, i always tell them not to say "your mom" or "your dad" to me while i'm working. i'm not katie meredith while i'm here. i'm just katie the one who sounds like she's twelve and also looks like she's twelve. my mom is not julie meredith (well she is cus she uses her last name) jim's wife and katie's mom or sarah's mother-in-law, she is julie meredith tcm for mco 751. GRR...sorry for the tangent, but i think i have a right to feel uncomfortable and want him to stop saying stuff. if you agree comment. i have to go. about 22 min left of work. YAY!!! i hope you all enjoyed this long post!

ahh
Have you ever...
x. Ran away? I've wanted to.
x. Broken someone's heart? i don't think so. usually its me
x. Cried when someone died? yup.
x. Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have? umm...of course that describes pretty much everyone i've ever wanted
x. Cried in school? does college count? if so then yes once.

What's Better...
x. Girls or guys? guys for dating and girls and guys for friends.
x. Quiet or Loud? mostly quiet, but sometimes loud (usually when there is alcohol in me)
x. Me or You? You
x. Shorts or Pants? Pants

x. What do you notice first? eyes
x. Last person you kissed? yup not going there, i'm stupid
x. What Is Your good luck charm? huh. don't seem to have one, but if i had to choose i'd say my necklace

Last Time You..
x. took a bath? ehh...sometime last month
x. Had a great time with the opposite sex? hmm...i think it was tuesday with jon, weaver, beerman, and julian

love and hate...
x. The person you hate the most? huh, don't really have a specific one
x. Best thing that happened to you today? got about 10 hours of sleep
x. Movie? gone with the wind
x. Book? any harry potter
x. Car? uh..H2 ;), my car, and marks HOTT car!!!
x. Holiday? any
x. Season? Fall
x. Breakfast food? scrambled eggs
x. Place to go with your honey? yeah..so don't have one.
x. Show? Queer Eye, American Idol, sex and the city, and west wing
x. Friend? i like all my friends

smiles...
x. Makes you laugh the most?
x. Has a crush on you? haha no one
x. Do you have a crush on?
x. Can make you feel better no matter what? stacy, jennie b, lynn, kristen
x. Has it easier, guys or girls? neither

Do you ever
x. Sit by the phone and wait for a call? not in a long while
x. Save AIM conversations? no i should though, especially the drunken ones
x. Cry because of someone's mean words? umm...not in a while
x. Most recent advice given to you? "if you didn't do anything, your not retarded" - Marco

Have you...
x. Fallen for your best friend? yah big mistake
x. Made out with JUST a friend? yes
x. Used someone? no
x. Cheated on someone? no
x. Been cheated on? yes
x. Been kissed? yes
x. Done something you regret? yes

Who was the last person...
x. You talked to? julie (my mom), i'm at work
x. You instant messaged? probably either mark or weaver or julian
x. You laughed with? the ladies at work
x. Who broke your heart?
x. Who told you they loved u and meant it? i don't rightly know, probably my parents or jacob

enjoy

haha
I love this song. really its wonderful!!! so yeah...last night was eh. that's how i'll describe it. if you want to know more ask. i don't know what's up tonight. maybe i'll study, maybe i'll get my dress fitted, maybe i'll hang out with mark if he calls. maybe i'll do all three. i can't stay out TOO late (as in like 5am) because i have a doctor's appointment at 10:30 tomorrow morning for some stuff. i get out at 7, which is yup 4 hours. kill me please. i'm realizing some new things lately. i think it has to go along with me not really acting like i usually act. like a new mentality or something. i guess i'm just sick of some things and the way i am sometimes. alright so i'm going to go and read so i won't feel TOO bad if i go out tonight!! have a super super day!!!

tee hee
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la la la
i'm bored. oh there's the phone...sigh. i have 10min left. so i thought i would update...not like there is a whole lot to update. i worked yesterday and then went back to allentucky for my formal dress so my mum can shorten it...cus i'm short. chatten online a bit while i was there (because whenever i get there i always laze around for a bit not really wanting to go home home) and then met weaver and julian at applebee's to see jennie bennie while she was at work. fun times. i was the chick at the table and yet i was the one who DIDN'T babysit!! tee hee my nails better f*ing grow here. just two of them. the ones that broke. 5min. my hair is frizzy today. i think its the humidity as well as the fact that i just threw it up this morning in a ponytail cus hell its hell aka uhaul and i definatly have NO one to impress here. hell i never have anyone to impress...hmm...maybe i'll stop showering then....tee hee just kidding that's gross. i have to pick up a dozen eggs...the american idol is on tonight!!!! the worst singers one!! YAY!!! those are the shit!!! huh...not a whole lot planned for this week. i have tomorrow off. i think me and kristen are going to see loie because she just got her wisdom teeth out. after that its up in the air! maybe i'll call up the 21D boys and make a trip back out to allentucky. wed, thurs, fri, and saturday are up for planning yet. i have to work until 6 or 7 each night so it has to be something later in the evening. welllll...i should go 2 min left. i have to put my coat on. give me a holler if your bored!!!

damn i need to shower
its SO nice out!!! and i'm stuck in UHAUL!!! AAARRRGGGGHHHH!!!! grr....sorry....

eh
so we are busy but not. the phones really arn't ringing but we still have ASS load of people that are waiting for trucks.

i have to work until 6pm. then its off to allendale again because i forgot my dress and then its to applebee's to drop off a curling iron to jennie. if anyone wants to have dinner leave a comment or call uhaul 1-800-253-1554 or call the celly.

my parents are going to midland today. they are bringing back the cedar chest that was my grandmothers. its rather large so i don't know if i want it in my apartment or not. but it would cut down on a whole lot of storage space, like i could put a lot of stuff in there that i may not have space for now. i also found out something rather interesting...my grandfather left a LARGE estate...so when my grandmother passes, that gets divied out to the family and i'll recieve a part of that...my mom said it is enough to pay my college loans back.......even graduate school..not too sure how i feel about that. because as of right now i owe about $15,000 and that's not even senior year and another semester...wow...so yeah. i almost feel guilty knowing that that is what's coming to me. like i am not good enough for it. like i should be smarter or work harder or something, because there are a lot of people out there who may need it more than me and work harder than i. so i don't know.

i'm glad its spring break. i can forget things and refocus on what i need to do to get the fuck out of michigan. oohh i want to go to the butterfly exhibit at the fredrick meijer gardens. that would be fun! so once again if anyone wants to go let me know! but yeah should go. 5 1/2 hours left. yippy.

yay!!
YAY!! we have a kitty!!! it is an outdoor cat that just showed up!! so it stays here outside and doesn't even TRY to come in!! yay!! so yeah. its PRETTY!! i have to go to work though. its ASS busy!!!