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butterfly

:: 2008 19 March :: 12.08pm
:: Mood: busy
:: Music: Even Angels Fall - Jessica Riddle

Alright, Kelly already gave the play by play so I won't bother with that, but honestly I had the best time while I was up there... even while I sat and watched him play WoW, CoD4, Portal, and Warcraft, despite the fact that he thinks I was bored.

We hung out with pJ and Mandie... and she was super quiet. I have a huge feeling she's not like that all the time. I'm probably considered quiet while I'm up there too, but that is so not the case.

The shittiest part of the entire trip was going home. I had dreaded it before I even left home, and it was ten times worse than I had expected. I'll be up there sometime in May if everything works out as planned, so it's not too long of a wait, but it feels like it's going to last forever. I've only been home for two days and it already feels like weeks.

I had a long ass delay in Milwaukee on my way up there, arriving in Michigan six hours late, and then on the way home I got a two and a half hour delay in Kansas City. I have the worst fucking luck traveling, I swear. It's completely ridiculous. Anyway, I got to Joplin and Ashley and Mom had come to pick me up, and we were all starving so I bought everyone dinner and then I got home ready to sleep but of course everyone had a million questions and I ended up not going to bed until about two. Then I was freaking out because I had additional homework to do, but my classes were canceled thanks to the TONS of rain we got which caused all the roads to flood. Sweet deal imo.
I was hoping classes would be canceled today as well, but it quit raining around eight this morning and the suns out so everythings clearing up. Lameness.

But yeah, that's that. I miss him so damn much.

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butterfly

:: 2008 15 March :: 10.25am

So Kelly and pJ went off to do their AirSoft deal, and I'm in pJ's room stealing his internetz. They've been gone for like an hour and I already miss Kelly :(
Monday is going to be so full of fail. I don't want to leave. I'm coming back sometime in May after schools done to stay for the summer, but that seems like forever away.

Anyway, I'm fucking tired but I don't want to go back to sleep because it's already well after ten and so I wouldn't sleep like at all tonight and the cycle would be never ending.
Ugh.

imagine


butterfly

:: 2008 6 March :: 6.09pm

liek holy ballzorz n stuff.

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butterfly

:: 2008 4 March :: 10.35pm
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

liek life k
Apparently no Kelly tonight, which stinks. I had a bad day and he's good at making me happy again. I think I failed a Biology quiz because I apparently studied the wrong thing, therefore rendering my knowledge on what we were +actually+ supposed to study = fail.
I wasn't the only one who did it though, so maybe he'll cut some slack. Doubtful, weird little bastard. His fly was open throughout the lecture tonight. I giggled.

Anyway, three more days. I'm excited and anxious. I still need to pack and get some homework done.
It's supposed to snow Friday, so I hope that doesn't mess with my flight schedule. I'll probably strangle someone with my sock if it does.
Seriously though, I hope that everything goes smoothly. I'm worryied about my flight to Grand Rapids out of Milwaukee because I have like 20 minutes to get off the plane, find out what gate I'm at, go through security, and board. Sometimes it takes longer than 20 minutes.
Sooooo... Fingers crossed for sure.

*sigh*
Kelly: comez bak plz? kthx.

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butterfly

:: 2008 25 February :: 6.06pm
:: Mood: cold

I am fucking sick. I am sneezing, I am coughing, I have a sore throat, and I am either blowing my nose a trillion times per minute, or my nose is of no use and I cannot breath out of it. Oh, on top of all that, one second I'm burning up and the next I'm shivering.
In spite of all of this, I decided to come to school to do some homework... Yeah, I'm retarded, I know. I just want to curl up and sleep, but I've got to get this shit done. I'm just waiting for everyone in the computer lab to lynch me next time I sneeze, because it's not cute little girly sneezes, it's fucking loud as hell.

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butterfly

:: 2008 24 February :: 9.02pm

-Bash-
Breadfan- this morning my dad went to go to the bathroom, but my little bro was already in there, my dad turns the knob but its locked, and in his deepest UT voice my bro shouts "DENIED"
Breadfan- My dad just walked away scratching his head
Dreyer- ROFLMAO

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butterfly

:: 2008 21 February :: 6.40pm

Longest day EVER.
Almost every school in Missouri was canceled today and the weather was like completely fine. It was below freezing, and it rained all day, but yet the roads weren't that bad at all, so there really wasn't any sense in canceling everything.
So, I spent all day with Dad, Taylor, and Trevor. It started out fine, but then we all just got sick of each other and everyone warped into assholes. Therefore I confined myself to my room to do homework, read, watch movies, and play guitar hero 3. When I get on the computer, my keyboard is broken. I'm still not sure on what happened, but one of the little incline things on the bottom was broken off, and like everything on the right side didn't work. I kind of gathered that Taylor and Trevor were fighting and the keyboard was used as a weapon. We have like 4 keyboards, but that was my favorite one so I'm pissed, but whatever, there's nothing I can do. I want to do something extreme and like horde all the keyboards, along with this one, in my room so they can't be dumbasses and break anything again, but that's like completely immature and I don't exactly want to stoop to that level, but seriously... wtf.

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butterfly

:: 2008 20 February :: 6.11pm
:: Music: Earthquake Weather - Beck

There's like 2 weeks before I leave for Michigan and that's like weird. It seems like it should be a lot longer time period than that, not that I want to wait a lot longer, but my 'to do list' just kind of keeps growing. I have like four big projects for school to do and like no time to do them, but I have no choice.
Anyway, time for class. Joy...

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butterfly

:: 2008 17 February :: 7.14pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Taste of Ink - The Used

Went shopping with Ashley today -and spent far more than I needed too- I got four shirts, some sleep pants, some underwear, and a book I needed for my Literature class. We ate at Applebees and ... ugh. I didn't like what I got so that sucked, but Ashley let me eat her mashed potatos, and I absolutely love them so I was kind of happy. Other than that I've had like the best day ever. Mom didn't even harp on me about spending money and questioning how much I spent so that made it even better.
<3

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butterfly

:: 2008 14 February :: 8.53pm

http://www.cracked.com/article_15853_6-cutest-animals-that-can-still-destroy-you.html

/dies laughing

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butterfly

:: 2008 14 February :: 3.24pm

liek happy valentines day n stuff...

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butterfly

:: 2008 12 February :: 1.48pm
:: Mood: lonely

I've been house sitting this past weekend, and will continue to do so until Friday night. I'm enjoying the time away from the house. The downfall is that they only have one phone line, so I can't really get online because I don't want to miss a call from the home owners in case something happened, as it did last time I sat for them, so I rarely ever talk to Kelly. I think I've talked to him once in the last four days, and then I got disconnected and I couldn't get back online.

On top of that we have gotten another ice storm. It isn't as astronomical as the previous ones, but it seems worse since I'm all alone. Plus I have to go outside in the freezing rain or snow and feed and water cattle, dogs, and cats. As enthralling as that sounds... not so much.
I was hoping that school would consider it bad enough to cancel class, and because of this I didn't really study for my test tonight.... Ha. I got screwed over, because it is in fact NOT canceled. gg me. My English class was canceled, however, but surely not because of the weather.
Anyway, here I am not studying mere hours before my test. I've gotten so bad about this stuff. In high school I always had my work done beforehand, knew all the material for my tests... Now I hate my teachers, I hate (most of) my classmates, and I hate school so I simply don't do things because it makes me mad. This doesn't affect anyone but me, so I don't know why I do this. It's not as though I can fail to do my things and then be like, "Ha, that'll show you," because no, it doesn't "show" them, I simply will fail. End of story.

I miss Kelly. I love talking to him, even when we don't talk. If we're both busy doing our own thing and only say a few things ever so often, I'm fine with it. I just like knowing that he's there for me to ramble on about anything and everything as it happens. God I love him.

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butterfly

:: 2008 10 February :: 9.07am
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: Tattoo - Jordan Sparks

Insomnia seems to have quite the grip on me lately and I am thoroughly exhasted.
I have a huge Biology test Tuesday that I need to study for, and finish some assignments.
Homework can wait though, because I have shopping to do after church.
sweetness.

-I think "Tattoo" is a retarded song... but I can't help but love it. Don't worry, I'm very confused by this as well.

+Edit+ I found the most fucking amazing purse thing at PacSun, seriously. It's not a purse though, really, it's more like a carry-on... but I enjoy it so it shall be my very large, super sized purse. It's got gray straps and detailing, and then little white and baby pink Roxy signs all over it. <3x20

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butterfly

:: 2008 6 February :: 9.45am
:: Mood: drained

I've bought the tickets, now I just need the 7th to get here.
I had a horrible dream last night though, I was on my way to the airport, and for some reason my entire family accompanied me, and then I had to take a trolly to get to the check in desk and get all my tickets and whatever, and then I realized that I didn't have my phone charger, and I panicked a little bit, but then Mom said she would just send it to Kelly's, and so I was alright. Then everyone but Dad was gone and we were walking around (I haven't decided what happened to the trolly) and the airport turned into this carnival like place, but it was Missouri State University, but it was also still the airport because we were looking for the check in desk, and then I was like "omg I forgot to get my luggage" so I didn't have any clothes or my charger and then I forgot my license, but I still had my school ID, and I finally got to the check in desk, but only after we had to run through this wooded area... it was retarded, but it was like scary and I woke up with my heart like pounding and in the dream I was crying non stop.
All my previous trips up there have killed me on the way up or back, the bus... fuck, between the man in scrubs with a bandaged head and an erection, and the biker/cowboy with a pint and ashtray breath, and the man with the stained, cat urine pillow... well yeah, I'm done with that, and the other one like all of my flights were delayed, and the flight from Kansas City back to Joplin on the way home was delayed for 6 hours. It is damn near time I have a nice trip I would think. I will so slay someone if this one makes me die too.
*acts intimidating*

School/homework is taking over my life.

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butterfly

:: 2008 29 January :: 10.23pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: Sorry - Buckcherry

Random shit
I took my watch off and put it down, and it's in a position that makes me think of a frog and it amused me.

Anyway, yesterday was my dad's 45th birthday, and today was Brooklyn's 4th birthday, so I've had more than my share of cake. I don't really like icecream, so I opted not to have it. I like Ben and Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk, and things with almonds.
...
So, I lost my planner and I'm kind of freaking out. I have my life written in that thing and it's very vital to my existance.

I decided tonight in Biology that it's going to be the death of me. It's not really that hard, but I'm just bored with it and there's so much shit going on at all points in time that I just space out and stop caring. We have notes and worksheets and labs and discussions like all at once and it just like consumes you and you start freaking out trying to get everything done and there's no possible way for you to get it all done in one night. Then if you have a question, there's honestly no hope in getting attention because there's too many people in the class and too many things going on so ... fuck. It's just crazy and so I just don't care. I wanted to keep my 4.0 but it's just looking impossible and it's only the third week.

Also, my bottom right wisdom tooth is coming in and holy fuck. Ouch.

On the bright side of my hectic life, just a little over a month before I get to see Kell again. I'm excited. I'm going up there again, so ... yeah. I can't wait.

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brandnew26

:: 2008 28 January :: 11.49pm
:: Music: Relient K - Getting Into You

Its kind of like when the Soviet Union collasped, people weren't really willing to talk about wounds that were still fresh, and when they were ready to talk and needed to, no one wanted to listen.
Its kind of that way with me, people want to know, but not really care, just know.

I've been through enough, its tiring, and it wears me down. I'm getting tired. I never thought at the age of 20 you could be so tired. You put your body through enough and it catches up to you. Your mind goes through enough and you can't forget. I stopped drinking and started thinking. So I've taken away what crutches I had in life under my control and I'm standing on what is left of my legs. I'm going to stumble, I'm going to fall, I'm going to make the biggest, most god-awful fucking mess of things, but I'm going to walk again.


When I made up my mind
And my heart along with that
To live not for myself
But yet for God, somebody said
"Do you know what you are getting yourself into?"

When I finally ironed out
All of my priorities
And asked God to remove the doubt
That makes me so unsure of these
Things I ask myself, I ask myself
"Do you know what you are getting yourself into?"

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butterfly

:: 2008 25 January :: 10.28pm

The Raven: Remodified
"once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of ' hot xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, " give me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404."


HILARIOUS.
/giggles

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butterfly

:: 2008 25 January :: 3.17pm
:: Mood: blah

I'm going to go buy something small and furry. Maybe a hampster or a gerbil. I thought about getting another rat, I know it's completely weird, but I like them because they're just completely awesome. idk though, I'll have to see how cute everything is and go on that.
I'm excited though, for a change. I've been kind of depressed lately.

Kelly was talking about going out with pJ and whomever else tonight I think, but I never got the end result on that thought, so I don't know what he's doing.
Anyway, yeah, cute and furry things here I come.

+Edit+
Furry things postponed until tomorrow :(

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brandnew26

:: 2008 21 January :: 11.06pm
:: Mood: sore
:: Music: Billy Joel - Vienna

I'm actually sore from running, but it kinda feels good. I'm mostly sore from the push ups I did. Two sets of 40, kinda hurts.

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butterfly

:: 2008 21 January :: 1.34am

This song makes me happy in an extremely sad way.

Lullaby - The Spill Canvas
It's the way that you blush when you're nervous.
It's your ability to make me earn this.
I know that you're tired, just let me sing you to sleep.
It's about how you laugh out of pity,
'Cause lets be honest I'm not really that funny.
I know that you're shy, just let me sing you to sleep.

If you need anything, just the say the word.
I mean anything.
Rest assured, if you start to doze, then I'll tuck you in,
Plant my lips where your necklace is close.

It's those pills that you don't need to take,
medicating perfection, now that's a mistake.
I know that you're spent, just let me sing you to sleep.
It's your finger and how I'm wrapped around it.
It's your grace and how it keeps me grounded.
I know that you're weak, just let me sing you to sleep.

If you need anything, just the say the word.
I mean anything.
Rest assured, if you start to doze, then I'll tuck you in,
Plant my lips where your necklace is close.

While you were sleeping I figured out everything,
I was constructed for you, and you were molded for me.
Now I feel your name, coursing through my veins.
You shine so bright it's insane, you put the sun to shame.

(Oh)

If you need anything, just the say the word.
I mean anything. (I really do)
Rest assured, if you start to doze, then I'll tuck you in,
Plant my lips where your necklace is close.

If you need anything, just the say the word.
I mean anything.
Rest assured, if you start to doze, then I'll tuck you in,
Plant my lips where your necklace is close.

imagine


butterfly

:: 2008 20 January :: 7.38pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: Over My Head (Cable Car) - The Fray

I wish Kelly was on, I miss him.

imagine


brandnew26

:: 2008 20 January :: 1.42pm
:: Mood: hungry
:: Music: Relient K - Be My Escape (Acoustic)

Figured I needed to update this. I'm now in my second semester at Oakland. I kinda like it here, so I'll finish out here. I'm pretty used to not knowing anyone, ha, I see new people everyday. But I do see Pat more often that not, so it makes life easier to see someone I've known for 6+ years.
I started running again. I'm not sore today from yesterday's 25 minute run in the cold, just a little bit of tightness in my right shin. I'm still debating going out for a quick one today, but its supposed to be like -20 out with the windchill, so I may just wait til Monday.
I've pretty much going through my entire routine twice a day now, more depending on if I run that day.
If I run I only do the routine at night. If I don't run, I do it in the morning and then again at night.
Its mostly several sets of crunches, sit-ups, push ups, up downs, and other various stuff. I do about 150 crunches, then 25 push ups, straight to about 90 seconds of up downs and then other random things over again without break, its tiring, but I think it'll pay off. For strength work every couple days I either chop wood in the cold or go into the basement and pick up and move around the boxes of tile or bags of grout. That's how I got into shape at work, and its more dynamic than working out in a weightroom.
Also, my Irish is now getting better. Its getting close to pass the little spanish I know. I've been watching Aifric a lot, haha, it sounds weird. I'm 20 and I'm watching a tv show for teens, but its at a level I can somewhat understand.
Here's a couple Irish sayings or toasts I came across that I like:

Here's to women's kisses,
and to whiskey, amber clear;
Not as sweet as a woman's kiss,
but a darn sight more sincere!


"Faol saol agat, gob fliuch, agus bás in Éirinn."
Long life to you, a wet mouth, and death in Ireland.


There are only three kinds of Irish men who can't understand women— young men, old men, and men of middle age.

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butterfly

:: 2008 16 January :: 3.31pm
:: Mood: cranky
:: Music: Terrible Lie - Nine Inch Nails

Jacob is officially gone. He left for Mizzu at like 8:00 this morning, which makes me a little sad, but it's okay. My first classes were like... ugh. That's the only way to describe them. I don't think I like my English teacher, she was gross and stupid and all the assignments are retarded.
Biology is fine, but we took eight pages of notes in the first hour, did three worksheets, and a discussion. It was crazy, but I like it anyway.... except for the stupid vagina juices that are in there. Seriously, the class consists of almost nothing but old people, and they're all psychotic and stupid and the younger people are quiet. They also kept making fun of the professor, but he's totally cool so they're just retarded yet again. I want them to all fall and break their hips and gtfo of my class.

So... yeah. I miss Kelly. Honestly we like never get to talk because I'm a stupid whore and go places. Now that Jacob's gone my life should go back to normal, though I'll have homework.
Ha, I'll have him help me though. He's smart.

Oh, fuck okay I got a 2gig flash drive and Jacob has a shit load of music so I went and stole it. Well it got to like 1.13gig's and then said it was full, and we tried to do whatever but nothing worked. So, I get home and attempt to stick the shit on my wmp and it recognizes the files, but says ... something something. idk. I'm too annoyed to mess with it any further, but Thursday night this shit is going to work for me or I will kill it dead.

+Edit+
I might have possibly removed the songs from the flash drive and into a folder and I might have forgotten that I had done such things. It might work now that I'm not a dumbass anymore.

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butterfly

:: 2008 14 January :: 11.13pm
:: Mood: crappy
:: Music: Relentless - Jason Aldean

My class was canceled tonight because there wasn't enough people who enrolled in the class, so that kind of screwed me.

Tuesday
-English
-Biology

Wednesday
-Personal Finance
-Intro to Literature

Thursday
-Biology

It's not too bad I don't think, though the Personal Finance class will bore the shit out of me. However, I need it for my degree so there isn't much that I can do about it.

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butterfly

:: 2008 14 January :: 1.13pm

Happy birthday to Kelly!
I wish I was there to properly celebrate this with him.
/sigh



To Kelly:
Sorry I called you "bitch face" on your birthday :(
I love you.

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