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WAR IS OVER

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:: 2006 6 June :: 9.47am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: The Legion Of Doom - Ebola in Memphis (Every Time I Die vs Norma Jean)

so i'm at home today for a while. yeah getting used to a whole new sleep cycle is not easy. i'm used to working late into the night/early morning shift and being on call. not used to going to sleep early and getting up when the sun comes up, more used to getting home when the sun is coming up. watching my cousins for 5 days pays pretty good though, no taxes on it. have my STAR stuff at AQ next week. move in on the 17th. if all goes as planned i'll be rooming with phil. almost done with some more of my classes to get my full certification, fun. myspace is fun because people are easily pissed off, and is the perfect grounds for my soapbox speeches, too much fun.

1 !@#% | imagine

:: 2006 22 April :: 3.02am
:: Mood: frustrated

im in bed, in the quiet dark and i have to pee.
the bottles along side the bed are tempting me.
theyre saying, "hey eric, just stick the tip in here and pee on me, just do it. you know, its a long painful cold walk to the bathroom."
there is definitely a battle raging in my head over this. its like, well...i know what the "mature" thing to do is, but at the same time, i know that maturity obviously doesnt apply to my life and i should take the easy route because, hey, who the fuck cares if bottles of piss align my bedside, right? because my leg fucking is killing me right now and walking is out of the question, my knee is swollen so im fucked.

:: 2006 16 April :: 11.45pm
:: Music: cartel - if i fail

since its been a few days since i updated, i figured i owned you fucks the honor of my words. so its been a busy week.
xbox live, need i say more?
did the senior picture shit again, boring.
went to the movies with abby, fun
bought new cartel cd, unable to stop listening.
bought a new chuck palahniuk, cover fucking glows in the dark and scared the hell out of me last night.
Guinness pudding, like a pint of the black, but legal for me to consume.

i hate middle school kids, they annoy me beyond my old limits.
prom is complicated shit, its like planning a fucking wedding. i don't have the motivation for it, but my friends do thank god, its going to be fun, since i'm going to two now. i'm suprised how much i talk on the phone now, and the time flies with it. its rather suprising, and i don't run out of shit to say. its cool.

food is good as always. potatoes? they need no explaining. amazing.

traverse city this week probably, should be nice to get away.
night.

Collars up.
Blazers only.

:: 2006 13 April :: 9.28pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Mary Moon

2 !@#%$ | imagine

:: 2006 13 April :: 6.57pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: The Verve Pipe - The Freshman

long time no sea
man, we are in a drought. for like the 20th year in a row. that means: summers are long, hot, and DRY. gross. it got up to like 85 today. sweet. just what i don't want.
so next wednesday i'm leavin for Columbia, Missouri. sweet i know so far away *rolls eyes*. actually... i'm really excited. we're going for FFA, because...
WE MADE IT TO STATE!!!!
lucky!
I'm on Dairy Foods (check Napoleon Dynamite) and we got third at districts. it was the coolest thing ever. Lie. I really didn't want to go to state because we're going to be in this small ass room with five million Missourians, not that i don't love my own, but come on, i'm so not a people person. Plus we'll have to hang out in heels, pantyhose, skirts, long sleeve button up shirts, scarfs and hot courduroy jackets. sweet? no. gross. i <3 FFA though.
anyway, to share with you guys my "music" choice of the day, this has become my most favoritest song ever. I absolutly love it. if you don't agree, shut the fuck up.

The Freshman

When I was young I knew everything
She a punk who rarely ever took advice
Now I'm guilt stricken,
Sobbing with my head on the floor
Stop a baby's breath and a shoe full of rice

I can't be held responsible
She was touching her face
I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and
We'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe
We'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen

My best friend took a week's
Vacation to forget her
His girl took a weeks's worth of
Valium and slept
And now he's guilt stricken sobbing with his
Head on the floor
Thinks about her now and how he never really
Wept he says

I can't be held responsible
She was touching her face
I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and
We'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe
We'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen

hey yeah
hey yeah
hey yeah

We've tried to wash our hands of all this
We never talk of our lacking relationships
And how we're guilt stricken sobbing with our
Heads on the floor
We fell through the ice when we tried not to
Slip, we'd say

I can't be held responsible
She was touching her face
And I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and
We'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe
We'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and
We'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe
We'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen
We were merely freshmen

also, we're gonna go back to a great one....

Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor

Beaten why for
Can't take much more

Here we go...Here we go...Here we go

One - Nothing wrong with me
Two - Nothing wrong with me
Three - Nothing wrong with me
Four - Nothing wrong with me

One - Something's got to give
Two - Something's got to give
Three - Something's got to give
Now

Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor

Push me again
This is the end

Here we go...Here we go...Here we go

One - Nothing wrong with me
Two - Nothing wrong with me
Three - Nothing wrong with me
Four - Nothing wrong with me

One - Something's got to give
Two - Something's got to give
Three - Something's got to give
Now

Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor

Skin against skin blood and bone
You're all by yourself but you're not alone
You wanted in now you're here
Driven by hate consumed by fear

Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor

One - Nothing wrong with me
Two - Nothing wrong with me
Three - Nothing wrong with me
Four - Nothing wrong with me

One - Something's got to give
Two - Something's got to give
Three - Something's got to give
Now

Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor

Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor

The floor...The floor...The floor...The floor

ok. great songs, I know. Now I'm gonna go.
2 days till Prom!!1 omg!!

:: 2006 9 April :: 8.32pm
:: Mood: giddy
:: Music: hopewood - this is cairo

holy fuck milkshakes own
came up with the idea of updating this shit every day. also came to the conclusion that my lenten promise of not swearing as much went right out the fucking window. suprisingly, i went running again today. yep, as much as i hate running, i did the deed again today kids. i'm the skinny mexican running around the neighborhood in the black shorts and white wifebeater. it was more amusing to see people stare at me as i go by, so cover your eyes and hide your girls, i'm back on the streets.

:: 2006 9 April :: 12.33pm

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and race at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of he light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and saing the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

:: 2006 8 April :: 9.30am
:: Mood: hungry
:: Music: feeling left out - going away to college

its funny to see how people react to a lack of sleep. with already being busy and having later nights, not making the lack any easier. my own slightly self-induced insomnia makes the nights seem incredibly long and lonely. i skipped work for the 2nd night in a row. i'm getting really lazy, or just tired. i made a note to take the other EMT classes sometime soon. So if I make it through those, looks like I'll have a job over in Grand Rapids to help pay for my lovely education at Aquinas.

i've come to the conclusion that driving is the cause of my bad moods. i have to drive to much, through traffic and stupid people. yesterday is an example of how driving can make a bad day worse. so here's a little timeline for you kids.

Fell asleep at 3 a.m. friday morning. woke up at 4 a.m. to call work saying I won't be in. woke up around 8 in a very pissed off mood for no apparent reason. did the eating thing and the weight lifting thing (got to get the habits down for college and med school). got dressed into running/jumping clothes (which consisted of black shorts, a white wifebeater, long sleeve ND shirt). drove down to the track (at 13/14 and mound) sat in my car for a good 25 minutes, and no one else showed up. decieded to run 2 1/2 miles on the track. drove home really pissed off. came home, decieded to take out my anger on the two things i always do, my body and hating running. showered and ray come over for a while. got dressed up for the play for the 2nd night in a row. drove there, got pissed at the stupid people. ushered again. talked with people. drove home again, pissed as is customary for the day. came home to a cold dinner, which i was too tired to heat, and starving from fasting the day. so hopefully it can only get better from here on out.

:: 2006 28 March :: 7.51pm
:: Music: Your Cheatin' Heart - ??

LONG SURVEY
[The Basics]
Full name: Rachel Elaine Prewitt
Date of birth: 4/29/89
Gender: Female
Location: Missouri
Ethnicity: Caucasion
Zodiac sign: Taurus
Reason for taking survey: Bored as hell

[Going Deeper]
If any, name any phobias you have: Dark, Getting tortured and murdered, Getting my heart broken *again*, Heights, Ticks
Do you drink: I have once, want to again.
Do you smoke: No.
If any, what drugs have you done: None at all
Are you a junk food person or a healthy eater: A little of both
Living arrangements: I live with my parents, two sisters and brother
Name any pets you have: The only one I like is my cat Roxy... and the babies that she's gonna have!!
Siblings: Ashley 18, Taylor 11, Trevor 7
Do you like your school: All schools suck. Mines not as bad as some though. I like the people so I guess. ... well some of them. some need to fucking die :D
What is your favourite class: Mass Media (Yearbook)
What is your least favourite: Algebra II. (Mullins sucks dick)
What genre of movie do you prefer: Romance/Comedy
Are you into self categorization? If ya know what you are, then by all means.

[Favorites]
Time of the year: Fall.
Friend: I like almost everyone. Some I pretend to like so I don't start unnecessary shit. It's cool. no just kidding, I love all who love me. Mary sucks though.
Family member: Uh... they all kind of suck. Taylor sucks the most though. Everyone else is alright to a point.
Animal: Cat and Flamingo
Sweet food: Ooh... dunno.
Colour:Pink and Orange
Sitcom: Dharma & Greg, House, Nashville Star, What Not To Wear
Cartoon: Courage the Cowardly Dog, Dexters Labratory, Ed, Edd and Eddie
TV channel: CMT, USA
Pastime: Sleeping, Reading
Drug: None ... give me give me... No I'm joking... ok whatever stfu
Magazine: Modern Bride (!!), Cosmopolitan
Games console: Puh-lezz
Website: maddox.xmission.com, bash.org, ... alright alright, woohu.com
Swear word: Fuck.
Ice-cream flavour: ooh tough one. dunno
Clothing brand, if any: Anything I like
Store: Wal-Mart... lol no shit. mom rubbed off on me I guess (fuckin pervs)
Place to relax: My Room
Place to shop: anywhere, i love shopping.
Place to party: Jakob's field. lol.

[Do you believe in..]
God: Yessss Sir (or ma'am. choose what cha are as you please)
A counter-god, or devil: Yes, the Devil
Reincarnation: No
The Soul: Yes
Evolution: No
Angels: Yes
Karma: Yes
Do you celebrate Christmas: Yes.
How do you celebrate your birthday: Uh... usually nothing.
What is your religion: Southern Baptist
Does your family have any special customs: Besides all beatin the shit out of me? No.
Have you ever converted from another religion or atheism: No(pe)
Are you a vegetarian: OOh goodness no

[For the Older Kids, Sex!]
Are you a virgin: No
If applicable, did you like your first time: DUde.... it hurt. should have taken gramma's advice (wink wink to all who know)
Ever given head: Yes.
Ever done anal: No, and never will.
Does S&M appeal to you: huh?
Do you watch pornography: lol nah. ... not anymore. shup!!!
How often do you masturbate: Uh.. eww plead the fifth? no, i honostly haven't in ages.
Ever had sex while drunk: lol no, but it does have it's appeal
Do you regret any sexual incidents that occurred on your part: nah
Do you consider yourself sexually attractive: skip
Favourite sexual position: SO far... i'll keep it between me and my guy
Tell us about any of your personal beliefs regarding sex: Its better to wait until you find someone you truly love because you'll end up regretting it

[Your Love Life]
Are you in a relationship right now: Yes!
Describe your current, or most recent relationship: Completely In Love!
Are you, or have you ever been in love: Yes, I am in love
What's your sexual orientation: Straight.
Are you, or do you plan on getting married: Yes (plan on it)
Do you believe in soul-mates: Yes.
Do you think long-distance love is possible: Well.. my relationship is livin proof.
Could you see yourself being unfaithful: Never. never ever ever ever.
What do you notice about the opposite sex first: Eyes, hands, and smile
Biggest turn-offs: Jerks. ppl with no manners
Taller or shorter than you: Gotta be taller, even if it's by only like 2 inches
Ever broken someone's heart: Oops...
Has someone ever broken yours: Oh yeah. it was a killer
Do/would you have children: I want four kids (already have some names figured out too... teehee)

[Your Bad Side]
Do you steal, or have you stolen: only from Ashley when we was kids
If so, was it from a store or a person you know: lol yeah
Have you been intimate with someone else's significant other: No
Do you take advantage of other peoples' kindness: No
Have you lied to your parents: Oh yeah
Do you get jealous easily: Yeah
Do you have a bad temper: OH damn, you don't even know, i can hide it so well.
Have you ever made someone cry: yeah. go me!
Ever physically hurt someone: yeah...
Do you consider yourself racist: definitly not
Must you always seek vengeance: nah, not unless it's completely needed.

[This or That]
Alcohol or Marijuana: my liver and brain cells please.
Coca-Cola or Pepsi: Coke.
A quiet evening at home or a wild night out: Quiet evening at home
Extreme intelligence or unbelievable beauty: extreme intelligence (it'd get me outta school early, and into college for free, and then rich. then i could just buy a gorgeous man... sweet, i'm amazing i know)
A permanent, stable relationship or an insane sex life: A permanent, stable relationship.
Christmas without gifts, or Christmas without everything else: What is everything else? family fights? calling ppl names behind their backs? hoping they get all the shitty gifts because you despize them? definitly without the gifts in that case. how much fun is family fights, i mean really, come on people
Rock or Rap: Rock
The ability to fly or the ability to be invisible: Invisible
Hearing or seeing: Seeing
Depression or anxiety: anxiety.... I guess...
Immortality without the ability to die, or mortality: Mortality.
Death by freezing, or burning: Freezing.
Death by suffocation or being stabbed: Suffocation
Lots of acquaintances or a few close friends: Few close friends.
To be a singer or an actor/actress: Singer (Mr. Shannon don't tell me. what an asshole)
Eternal day or eternal night: eternal day
X-Ray vision or psychic abilities: Psychic abilities.
Sweet or savory: Sweet.
To never sleep or to never eat: Never eat.
To eat as much as you want or to sleep as much as you want: Sleep as much as I want.
World domination or infinite knowledge of all things: Knowledge of all things.
Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera: Christina Aguilera
Bush or Kerry: Bush
To resort to cannibalism or to die: uh... touch... to eat, or be eatten... dude, i'd definitly be eatin, i couldn't do that. *gags*

[The Last]
Person you talked to: Ashley
Person you argued with: Ashley
Person you hugged: Woah... Johanna
Person you kissed: Karl
Person you texted: definitly do not text. no fone = no text
Person you had sex with: Karl
Phone call: Gramma Harrison
Thing you ate: Jello. I hate jello.
Thing you drank: Tea
Time you showered: Last night
Time you told someone you loved them: few hours ago
Time someone said they loved you: Few hours ago
Time you laughed: i never laugh. laughing sucks. LOL... so gay. i know. shoot me. but anyway, just a bit ago i guess. i don't memorize these things.
Time you vomited: friggin saturday
Paycheck: ha... *cries*
Time you had sex: November 13 *cries again*
TV show you watched: uh... i'm getting ready to watch Nashville Star. it's so great!!
Song you listened to: I miss you - Blink 182
Movie you watched: Just like Heaven
Dream you had: Kandace being a scary weird ass freak with no lips
Time you got drunk: few weeks ago
Party you went to: same as above
Item of clothing you bought: Bra? that count?
Person you would sleep with: As in the last person i would sleep with ever? i'd say patrick. but ... fuck that. he's so gross i would shoot myself. uh... your mom. ha.

[Have You Ever Been Called]
Bitch: Yes
Bastard: lol if so it was Caleb's doing
Beautiful: Yes
Talented: Yes
A waste of space: yep
Liar: Yes
Geek: No.
Nerd: No.
Loser: Yes
Peculiar: yes
Intelligent: yes
Skinny: um... when i was like 8
Fat: only by my loving mom. go me!
Pretty: Yes.
Preppy: Yeah because JT's a dumbass
Goth: N0...
Emo: lol yes ... sadly
Grunger: say wa?
Fiend: no
Innovative: no
Weirdo: everyday by Jakob.
Stupid: Yes.
Retarded: Yes.
Annoying: Yes.
Freak: Yes..
Brat: Yes.
Cute: Yes.
Interesting: yes
Boring: Yes.
Slut: Yeah
Whore: Yes.
Skank: Yes.
Asshole: Yes
Shitface: yup
Ugly: lmao by taylor. what a dummy
Disgusting: by ash... all the time... and jo...
Shithead: yes.
Cock: lmao yeah
Tit: definitly not.
Twat: thanks to Caleb yes

[Totally Random]
Tell us the first thing you'd do with a million dollars: right now? by an effing prom dress and accessories, NHS dress and shoes, and Baccaloret dress and Graduation dress. Keep a thousand for my trip to Utah this summer and then give the rest to my folks.
Why is the sky blue: Because God didn't like pink (sadly)
Do you consider yourself to be romantic: yes
What's the best thing somebody has ever said about you: Oh well... ya know I get so much good stuff said about me that I can't really chose... no, but I really don't know
What do you think of P.E.T.A: More power to them... as long as they let me keep my fur coat.
What do you think of South Park: Funneh
Do you like candles: Yes
Do you think emo people are idiots: no, they're put here for my amusement
Do you think goths are idiots: No, just scary
Do you think people who take ridiculously long surveys are idiots: Definitly. good heavens
Do you believe men and women are truly equal: to a point.
Do you read books very much: Me? oh no, i don't read at all. fuck yes i read all the time turd head
Do people consider you to be a bookworm: yeah
Describe your mother: asshole, but slowly becoming better. only took her 39 years. sweet.
What's one thing you would change about your body: lose some weight, smaller boobs
Would you kill one child to save the lives of 1000 children: Do I look like I have the ability of God to yall? no. I honestly couldn't do it
What one thing would a person have to do to deserve death: Torture and kill innocent people for a thrill.
The most romantic thing somebody's ever done for you: Drive over 500 miles to see me for 3 days (I love you hunny!)
Do you use bittorrent: run that by me once more?
What P2P programs do you use: I'm definitly not a nintendo freak. Next!
Have you ever skydived: Hell no, do yall not remember me sayin I'm scared of heights?
List three things you want to do before you die: Marry Karl and have a wonderful, healthy family, have a good career, become a better Christian
The world ends and you can only save three people and yourself. Who would you save: Karl, and some random guy and girl. we can't all be inbreds when we repopulate the earth can we?
If you could kick anyone's ass, who would it be: Mary. Oh wait, I could so kick her ass without worrying if i could. Um... Karl. He says I can't, I wanna prove him wrong.
If you could sleep with anyone in the world, who would it be: Julian McMahon (sorry hun...)
Are you bored of this survey yet: surprisingly no.
What is the meaning of life: To spend endless hours attempting to guess it, and never get it right. Silly Noobs

2 !@#%$ | imagine

:: 2006 28 March :: 6.03pm
:: Mood: complacent
:: Music: You can do it - Ice Cube

Welcome Back Me!! <3 Me
Well folks... I'm bored. Maybe I'll start updating again. A lot of people started up Myspace.com and got it's fame up and out. I didn't fall into that catagory. I <3 Woohu, but... I guess I got bored with No one reading my shit anymore. I loved all the random little messages I used to get, then... nothingness filled my journal. causes a girls heart to break ya know.
My loving Roxy is pregnant. I'm scared she's gonna be a bitch throught her entire pregnancy as she was last time. She got sooo big last time and only had one kitten. I think I can feel at least 3 this time. Hopefully they're cute. And not black. I don't like black cats, but I'm not supersticious, don't go getting your lines crossed.
Who knew you weren't to put glass bowls on the stove top? Not I says I. Crack Snapple Pop went the mixing bowl last night. Mom called me a dumbass. Sweet.
Is Harrison Ford not gorgeous? As well as Nicholas Cage? yummy.
What's the deal with "Change new lines to
automatically? I no comprenda. Anyone? Anyone at all?
.:.SOS.:.
lol today in Alg. II Caleb made me a little picture type deal with all the little faces we computer peeps make.
I'll share them.
(because you don't already know them)
^_^
o_o
-_^
^_-
O_o
o_O
<.<
>.>
-_-
>.<

If I missed any, please do share. It'll be so much fun, I promise!
Uh... Ashley and I were just talking about how much she sucked when she was little. She collected Pins for Pete's sake. LIke.. wear them on your clothes pins. And ... omg. it was so funny. I always made fun of her. She also collected Bouncy Balls. ... Moron. I always stole her candy too. I pigged out on my Easter candy and so I would always gp steal hers, certain that she wouldn't notice. She totally noticed. She was so anal. I always lied my way out of it though. I was such a bitch. A coniving little bitch at that. There was no way at all they could pin (ahaha) it on me so... whatever. lol I just came clean though. It's cool.
Oh boy.

2 !@#%$ | imagine

:: 2006 26 March :: 5.37pm
:: Mood: energetic
:: Music: nil lara - fighting for my love

its actually somewhat sunny out. crazy fucking michigan. its nice to be able to throw a football without freezing your hands off. so sore from work, but hey, money. i hate track more than anything else right now, i'm pretty sure coach blunk is a demonic force put here to ruin people's lives, but hey, to each his own. yeah, i'm addicted to the elder scrolls IV: obilivion. its fucking nuts. go buy the game, you won't regret it. picking up the new rifle on wednesday. well not really new. mosin nagant model 1938 carbine, soviet design. now i need to find a place to shoot it, so i can ejaculate all over the place. i seriously can't wait to graduate, i'm so sick of high school and seeing dudes everyday.

:: 2006 25 March :: 7.11pm

so here we fall
and here we break
and all that we had is now just a mistake
i guess it got boring and old
so what have you done?
you left me alone
you got your things, you got them all
you know there's nothing you won't have
and i'm afraid i don't got the cash to keep you happy and not sad
cause you show me that you're not free
that you need big fat limousines
to keep you high
to keep you safe
to keep you in love

what if i change for you?
then will you see me still with you?
well i never do it
i'm no fool

so here we fall
and her love breaks
and all that we had is now just a mistake
you look so long, you're so mislead
and your stuff friends have gone to your head

what if i change for you?
then will you see me still with you?
well i never do it
i'm no fool

:: 2006 7 March :: 7.40pm

i am so sore.
i feel old.
someone should make me feel better.

:: 2006 27 February :: 9.06pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: USSR National Anthem

yeah, i haven't updated much. i've been busy with various things. call of duty 2 for xbox 360 is amazing. been playing that a lot. recently got into reenacting battles, its pretty cool. trying to get my hands on some old soviet world war 2 private uniforms or some Praporshchik shoulder boards. i also would be very happy with a Mosin Nagant 91/30 Sniper Rifle, working preferably. so if anyone has one, please tell me. thanks. i'll try and update here a little more.

:: 2006 13 February :: 9.16pm

VO
collars up
blazers only

Villains Only

:: 2006 1 February :: 9.06pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Explosions In The Sky - Day Five

It's funny how I used to think that everything I needed was a relationship, that would make all the world. Then I got involved, and nothing ever really felt right, or really comfortable in any way. They weren't mistakes, as I learned from each of them, but don't define who I am, or what I'm about. I don't understand how people are so worried and neurotic about having a relationship. Also, why is everything in a relationship seemingly all about sex? Why is it that everything these days about sex? I applaude those who abstain, myself included. I see no need for this. There are much better ways, for if I was in love, to express this to that person. I don't know, I feel that I still have a lot of life to live, and at this point, a relationship would just be a burden upon me. Seeing as I will be in school of some sort until I'm about 25-26 years old, I don't need any more burdens on me. I guess the purpose of this rant was to try and make a point that there is more to life than trying for a relationship, or being attached to someone in a way that suffocates the expression of who someone is. I know someone is going to say that the relationship is the expression, but is it really? Isn't there more to experiance beyond the seeming confines of one person? I think so, and really, that's all that matters.

:: 2005 24 December :: 1.57am
:: Mood: rejuvenated
:: Music: emery - so cold i could see my breath

I always bring this back, no matter what. It must liiiiiiiiiive. <333 Best conversation ever, between Mae and I.

I am wonder loves you, mayhaps you were wondering. (:

wonder loves you (2:08:49 PM): xDDD
wonder loves you (2:09:09 PM): http://www.wcboe.k12.md.us/images/SID_37.jpg
wonder loves you (2:09:10 PM): LOL
wonder loves you (2:09:16 PM): the yield sign is all crooked
wonder loves you (2:09:18 PM): XDD
CherriBlossomchi (2:09:30 PM): XD
CherriBlossomchi (2:09:36 PM): We have a ghetto school
wonder loves you (2:09:37 PM): so ghetto...
wonder loves you (2:09:38 PM): XD
wonder loves you (2:09:39 PM): LMAO
CherriBlossomchi (2:09:50 PM): we live....
CherriBlossomchi (2:09:52 PM): IN DAH HOOD
wonder loves you (2:09:54 PM): haha...same thoughts about it...not good for them huh?
wonder loves you (2:09:55 PM): O
wonder loves you (2:09:55 PM): M
wonder loves you (2:09:56 PM): G
wonder loves you (2:10:02 PM): DUH HUD!!!
CherriBlossomchi (2:10:05 PM): nupe.
wonder loves you (2:10:07 PM): xD
CherriBlossomchi (2:10:08 PM): DUH HUD!
CherriBlossomchi (2:10:09 PM): XD
wonder loves you (2:10:19 PM): WE LIV IN DA HUD HOMEE
wonder loves you (2:10:23 PM): :O

wonder loves you (2:10:27 PM): WUT NOWZZZZ??!?!?!1
CherriBlossomchi (2:10:32 PM): WHERE THE STREETS HAVE CHAIN LINK FENCES AND PIT BULLS NAMED TYRONE!
wonder loves you (2:10:36 PM): !!!!!ONEONE!!!111ewKJEWK!!ONE!
wonder loves you (2:10:44 PM): YEAYEAYEA
wonder loves you (2:10:48 PM): FO SHIZZLE
CherriBlossomchi (2:10:50 PM): and hydrolic cars! =D
wonder loves you (2:10:52 PM): OMG
wonder loves you (2:10:55 PM): I WANT ONE
wonder loves you (2:10:55 PM): >D
wonder loves you (2:11:11 PM): PINK CADILLACS
CherriBlossomchi (2:11:12 PM): hydrolic jeep wrangler?
wonder loves you (2:11:15 PM): :o
wonder loves you (2:11:16 PM): :o
wonder loves you (2:11:17 PM): :o
wonder loves you (2:11:18 PM): YES
wonder loves you (2:11:27 PM): AND SPINNERS!
wonder loves you (2:11:31 PM): :D
wonder loves you (2:11:39 PM): PINK CADILLACS WITH SPINNERS!
CherriBlossomchi (2:11:44 PM): WHEEEE
CherriBlossomchi (2:11:46 PM): =D
wonder loves you (2:11:46 PM): ...and..FUZZY DICE!!! O_o
wonder loves you (2:11:49 PM): XD
CherriBlossomchi (2:11:52 PM): GO FUZZY DICE
wonder loves you (2:11:59 PM): PIMP MY RIDE, HOMIE!

wonder loves you (2:12:01 PM): ;D
CherriBlossomchi (2:12:10 PM): Don't make me bust a cap in j00r punk ass!
CherriBlossomchi (2:12:13 PM): =D
wonder loves you (2:12:27 PM): EAT GUN, NIGGA!
wonder loves you (2:12:29 PM): lmao
wonder loves you (2:12:30 PM): sorry
wonder loves you (2:12:31 PM): >>
wonder loves you (2:12:44 PM): Hagstown /is/ becoming the hood. :o
CherriBlossomchi (2:13:02 PM): LMAO
CherriBlossomchi (2:13:05 PM): XDD
CherriBlossomchi (2:13:08 PM): that was great
wonder loves you (2:13:10 PM): :D
wonder loves you (2:13:14 PM): ...word
wonder loves you (2:13:15 PM): :o
CherriBlossomchi (2:13:20 PM): i live on dah edge of dah ghetto..=D
wonder loves you (2:13:32 PM): I LIVE IN DA FANCY GHETTO
wonder loves you (2:13:33 PM): LMAO
wonder loves you (2:13:35 PM): >D
CherriBlossomchi (2:13:40 PM): WHERE BLACK WOMEN BEAT THEIR SIX KIDS WITH THE CORD TO THEIR BLENDER!
CherriBlossomchi (2:13:41 PM): =O
wonder loves you (2:13:51 PM): -falls on keyboard-
wonder loves you (2:13:52 PM): LMAO
wonder loves you (2:14:03 PM): Well...
wonder loves you (2:14:13 PM): WE HAVE GHETTO IMPOSTERS IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD
wonder loves you (2:14:17 PM): >D
wonder loves you (2:14:21 PM): THEY'RE REDNECKS
CherriBlossomchi (2:14:30 PM): "JIMMY JAMAL YOU GET YOUR SKINNY BLACK ASS OVAH HERR!" -Whips cord-
CherriBlossomchi (2:14:41 PM): THE TRAILOR HUD!
wonder loves you (2:14:50 PM): TRAILOR PARK TRASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSH
wonder loves you (2:14:53 PM): (:
CherriBlossomchi (2:15:43 PM): XD

1 !@#% | imagine

:: 2005 24 December :: 1.04am

le spammmmm hahaha i like to spam my journalllll <333

did you know

every four seconds

A PERSON OPENS A CAN OF SPAM?!?

omgz.

:: 2005 7 December :: 7.29pm

�No thank you, I�m fine for now.� he replied to the waitress� move to pour him more coffee in his already full cup. �Well, I�ll just leave the pot here with you, since there�s not much left anyway� she said in a manner that gave him the uneasy feeling that she wanted him to finish off the pot and leave. He had meant to say something to her in reply, but he was much too tired. The long drive through the night on the seemingly endless and barren fields covered in a light snow had exhausted him entirely. As he stared out the frosted window of the all-night diner into the blackness of the early morning, the sun had begun to rise over the open plains of the Midwest. The birth of the Sun peaking over the horizon caused the sky to erupt in a multitude of magenta, pink, orange and blue shades which washed over the barren landscape. �What a beautiful sunrise, in this unforgiving Midwestern winter� he said to himself. He paid for his coffee and tipped the waitress. She turned around as she heard the jingling of a few coins as they came to rest on the table stained with dark brown coffee rings from cups of those who had come and gone.

:: 2005 6 December :: 6.07pm
:: Mood: loved
:: Music: (I never promised you) A Rose Garden - Martina McBride

I was sittin in class doin nothing today, and I started thinking of all the little things that Karl does...
.:.Always finds my hand
.:.Always makes me smile/laugh when I'm upset
.:.Smiles to the side when he's being sneeky or trying to get away with something
.:.Kisses my hand
.:.Repeatedly tells me I'm beautiful/gorgeous/sexy (much to my dismay)
.:.Kisses my forehead
.:.Says "I love you" right when I need to hear it without me even telling him

And so much more, those are just the ones that popped in my head at the moment. I love him so much and it makes me happy that he loves me too.

I need to finish my Christmas shopping and quickly. I need to go to the mall this Friday and get it all done. Hopefully Ashley'll go with me. *crosses fingers*

I also need to get some shoes to go with my dress for the Christmas Dance. I don't really wanna go but every year my friends all get together and we take a picture. Started waaay back in 8th grade and so we gotta all be there to play our part. *sigh* It was fun shopping for the dress, though not laying down the $215 for it... ehh oh well.

My great uncle Gene died last night at 7:50. I really liked him too, so it saddens me to no end. All my aunts and uncles decided that Daddy had to tell grampa (uncle Gene's brother) and it was really sad. But, alas, life goes on and he's better off.

Christmas Break starts on the 21st and I truely cannot wait. I have had it with school. If it wouldn't kill me in life, I would drop out right now I loath it so much. I took on to many hard classes this year. Well, not exactly hard, just ones that you have to memorize a lot of stuff for, and so I'm constantly havening to memorize stuff for like 5 of my classes at a time and it's really getting to me.

Anyway, enough whinning i suppose, cause I have to go with Ashley to town real fast for some unknown reason...
Rachel

:: 2005 4 December :: 10.31pm
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: Angels we have heard on high - Billy Gillman

yes... it has been forever since i last wrote. i apologize. nothing goes on around here to update about. i still haven't really gotten into the mood to go hang around town with everyone and goof off because i'm still upset and depressed about the fact that the man i love is in Iraq, so i stay at home and do homework and write poems, cry, and go to gramma's on saturday to babysit. exciting life huh? hardly containable
*rolls eyes*
anyway i cain't believe it's almost christmas. Karl refuses to tell me what he want's or needs, so ... i simply don't know what to get him. He's one of them impossible people to get something. well, actually i know what i want to get him, but it'll be pointless to send it to him over there because he won't be able to watch it. it's called Night of the Grizzly, and it's his favorite movie but it's really old and there are like no copies of it anymore so i'll have to do some digging before i can even find it. i just wish he would tell me something. it bugs me that he won't... he just says that he has everything he needs and... *sigh*
i don't like getting presents. I mean there's the excitment of getting something that you want, but it makes me feel extremely uncomfortable, but i love giving them.... crazy, i know. oh well.
um... oh i love christmas lights! they excite me to no end. along with christmas music. caint get enough of it. Every year I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" too. i haven't seen it on tv yet though. I need that movie. I think i'll buy that this year.
Ok... long enough pointless update. Later
Rachel

:: 2005 24 November :: 9.41pm
:: Mood: complacent
:: Music: Steam - Ty Herndon

Thanksgivin
I went to bed at around 1:00, got up at 8:45, ate breakfast, done some homework, went back to sleep at 11:00, got up at 3:00, got ready for Thanksgivin supper at Gramma Harrison's, went over there for a few hours, came back, got on here, Ashley stole the computer, went down to my room and read for a while, attempted to go to sleep, but Ashley made me go talk to her for awhile, so I went to her room and then we started punching eachother and messing around. Then I was leaving and she started chasin after me so I screamed and ran and locked myself in the bathroom for about an hour, finally came out and started talkin to dad, then I noticed that I had orange messenger deals flashin. When she was done on here she didn't even sign out and disconnect, so I had like 3 people talking to me when I wasn't even here, so I had to apologize. It was pretty gay. Anyway, didn't get to talk to Karl today, he was movin to the place he's stationed in Iraq. I cain't even spell it so I won't try to.
Tomorrow there's a blitz at Wal-Mart which we go to every year to get crap for Gramma and we gotta be there at 4 in the mornin cause they open at 5. used to we got there at 5 and they opened at 6. I reckon I liked that deal better.
Anyway, we got that goin tomorrow, then I'm gonna do some more homework (the teachers laid it on nice and thick this weekend) then Saturday we're gonna have our dinner here at home, then Sunday we got church, then I got invited to my friends dinner, then I got supper at my Gramma Prewitt's. So's obviously this holiday ain't workin to well with my diet, cause I got the type of family that don't exactly believe in diets, and so they get mighty offended if you skimp out and don't eat somethin they made. Makes life rather difficult from time to time.
Anyway, I should be goin on to bed.
Rachel

:: 2005 20 November :: 10.43pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: Dance Dance - Fall Out Boy

Well... let me see what all has gone on here lately...
Friday got out of school and Johanna and I booked our asses to Monette to watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. It was rather good... and we could see over everyones head too *laugh* We then went to Sonic and hung out with Purdy people and ate then came home and hung out on our own "turf" for a few hours then Really went home.
Saturday I worked at gramma Harrisons for a few hours, came home and got ready for a wedding, went to it (obviously) and then came home to an empty house, which is unusual. Apparently Taylor (little sister) broke her arm in basketball practice and so everyone was up at the hospital with her. Tis a pertty (yes, I ment to do that) bad break so they may have to do surgery. We shall find out Wednesday. I feel so bad for her cause she's all sad and in pain... hmm. It's her right arm too, right at the wrist so she's fucked over big time.
Anyway, after we found that out, I had to go up to the school because we had Bonfire. (if anyone doesn't know what this is, just ask, I'm not up to writing it just yet) After that fun was over, the guys were playin eachother in a Maroon and White game so we all watched that then Jo and I went to see Heather, who had surgery on her ACL Friday, and we watched Amityville Horror with her and Joey, her boyfriend, and then we left because she was tired and we went and ate at Taco Bell where Jo got her ass hit on . lol the dude gave us free potatoe wedges after we specifically told him that we didn't want them... they turned out rather good too. But anyway, went and hung out at her house for awhile then I came home. It was rather fun.
Blah
Ok, nothing else of importance, so I'm outta here.
Me

:: 2005 19 November :: 11.06am

Your Life: The Soundtrack
Opening credits: Jeff and Mychael Danna- The Blood of Cuchulainn
Waking up: I, Heart - Doing Well In The Shadows With The Silhouette Of An Angel
Average day: Every Time I Die - Apocalypse Now And Then
First date: Copeland - Coffee
Falling in love: The All-American Rejects - Dance Inside
Love scene: Waiting For Autumn - Minutes Passing
Fight scene: Every Time I Die - Guitarred and Feathered
Breaking up: The Honorary Title - Everything I Once Had
Getting back together: Nine Days - If I Am
Secret love: James Clark - Stained Glass
Life's okay: Hellogoodbye - Bonnie Taylor Shakedown
Mental breakdown: At The Drive In - One Armed Scissor
Driving: Saves The Day - Shoulder To The Wheel
Learning a lesson: Her Space Holiday - My Girlfriend's Boyfriend
Deep thought: Explosions In The Sky - Memorial
Flashback: Houston Calls - The Better Part Of Valor
Partying: Michael Buble - A Foggy Day (In London Town)
Happy dance: Zella Mayzell - Straight Ahead at the End of the Court
Regreting: Minus The Bear - Monkey!!! Knife!!! Fight!!!
Long night alone: Butch Walker - Mixtape
Death scene: The Spill Canvas - Polygraph, Right Now!
Closing credits: Explosions In The Sky - Snow And Lights
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You've been totally Bzoink*d

:: 2005 19 November :: 10.32am
:: Mood: cold

"Alright," I respond, "You have a good evening."

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