i admitt it
school is here. anger. dineil(it's not just a river in egjpt kids!), and finaly exceptance and shopping. here is my schedual:
1*gen. chem, jungkind (hope he's hot!)
2*brit lit millard, love her!
3*Fed govt. london, hope he has a hot student teacher, for steph, hehheh excuse me, stevie
4*advan. animal sci, r-dawg
5*span 3 w/ ryan, soon to change
6*ap bio, fournier, no, oh god i didn't even look to see who it would be, my god, no i wanted mcdonald!!! damn it, all my friends are in this class, we will be split up, and she'll try to make us work, ahhhjhhhhhhahhapiroesf

my bro has glow in the dark crabs on his boxers
i began this entry playful and whimsical. now i must rave.
Since i've crashed my car “things” have become starkly apparent to me. Over the summer only 2 (steph and k-t) people have even made an attempt to hang w/ me. others say: why don't you do something. well why don't you. all other human contact was purely formal, by coincidence or business related. This fucking pisses me off. I see what has happened. Why did i have to be the initiator of every freaking social gathering? Why did you all want to hang out, when i had a freakin' car? I've been used, and it is evident that i have exactly 2 friends. TO those of you who haven’t made and effort to be my friend, don't expect me to be buzzing over to your house after school to drop you off. i'm done. i don't care if i have only two friends, b/c at least i know that they care about me, not just my ability to make things happen through transportation. Remember that day we all went to the coffee shop? My idea, it was great fun, yet no one could step up to the plate after I had rolled off it and organize anything. My mother was correct, the only reason I had so many friends is because I had the ability to plan and execute adventures. Since the crash I haven’t been allowed that opportunity, but I would have been able to attend one, yet none have been made perceptible to me. It doesn't matter if you don't have a frikin' car. Where their is a will, there is a way. Steph knows this. My dad and mom as well as her folks all know the route between our houses. if anyone really wanted to do something it would have happened. and to those of who have wheels, i express disappointment. right now i can't even decipher clear thoughts, so this entry will radiate confusion, but it has to be said.

my summer review
summer review:

1)
* got out of school, worked, signed up for sum. school,
*had fun w/ friends, drove though taco bell w/ linsey bigney on the roofof my car
*lost regional office
2)
* started dairy juding
*worked w/ my steer and lambs
*rolled over my car
3)
*started math class, actually learning
*Placed 7th in the state for dairy judging
*started training foxy lady
4)
*enjoying math
*went to SLCOO, REFUSED drugs @ msu
*painted boards w/ ekb.
5)
*Steer goes crazy, decide he can stay home( thats ok b/c then i got to help other people learn about beef projects and spend more time promoting 4-H)
*go to fair
* take my final exam for math, receive an 89% woohu!!!
*Wednesday (after the exam) meet up w/ some ffa buddys @ fair, get back to camper and: run into a 5th wheel trailer w/ my head. ah the relentless teasing. went to emergency room. that was interesting.
* hans goes crazy @ fair. ha, that was a short drive, and amazingly cory brown was his passenger. poor mrs. brown
* during sheep show i get selected to move onto final showmanship, tickled pink, but my sheep stopped moving half way though, oh well, i did ok. other sheep places 5th in his class. work pays off. and the oxy moron to this statement would be my brother. he won showmanship for sheep. woohu.
*Thursday: come back from butterworth, see cuz win little kiddy showmanship. yahu. sell my sheep for cheap. dad had to buy one. sammy from the mill buys the other. nice fellow, should recruit his son for ffa. i will now buy all my shavings from him. Oh, b/f sold I was @ the ffa trailer. We stayed tooo late. When we got back brain (postumus) was holding my sheep and say, hey, good thing you made it or I would have had more sheep.
*Friday. dairy show starts at 10am. i had a good, crazy morning. joking around, washing my beautiful heifer and showing. k-t meyer and i were neck and neck for 1st place showmanship, but when the judge made us switch cows her cow was bad for me, and too big. i've trained my heifer, well, alot. she waas good for katie. so k-t gets 1st, i'm in a really close 2nd. k-t asks me to do sweepstakes, i except, attempting to with hold my enthusiasm.
*show my jersey. she receives grand champ. jersey. i love her. but not the way you think.
„h officials give me the word that i'm in for sweeps. i begin practicing ( which i had already started on Wednesday) and re-learning things that have changed. i am allowed to take time out to go on a death trap of a ride based on the theory of centrifugal force.. I did it for my 9 yr. Old cuz, so it was justified. I Taught some kids how to show dairy, and hung out w/ phill (droolll, droolll drolll) untill about 8:30 when k-t and I ran our sheep. That was a lot of fun b/c a bunch of the kids I know from ekb wanted to help and the sheep were prancing ext. ya know, cute kids and sheep, hahahha. Yadayayaydday. So that was cool.
„h Saturday; get down to fair about 7:30. Clean up poop in dairy barn
„h dad brings me a pig beatin' stick, it is the same cane i used for my debut as charlessumner. cool beans
* i go over to the sheep barn, at first i see one sheep being naughty, standing on the fence, and eating ribbons, i smile at tiny tim on my way in and say: "silly sheep" he laughs, then as i draw closer i realize that they are my sheep being bad. ha. so i feed them and stand around talking to tim and his nephew jimmy, who is also doin' sweeps. we're talkin and tim says" doyou know whos lamb that is? " and i'm confused at this pt. then i notice a sheep running at me. ah. loose sheep. cool, well he was so hungry that after we found his pen, he jumped out again. it was chaos. but funny.

ok, sweeps
I WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!
GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT SO FAR IN MY LIFE!!! WOOHU!!!
did i mention it comes w/ 200 dollars!!! woohu!!! new car!!!
ok, i'm done celebrating
well maybe not, but come over to see my huge trophies and we have a sexy good time. i was good see you tonight steph, once again, you hair looks awesome!!!

hahaha sooo friken funny
ok several EXCITING things happend today. went out w/ steph. shered sheep, went to mejiers. and school. but the day's finalie what horrid. we pull in the drive way and pat says: is anyone home? i said" yes, prob. asleep" thinking that the reason the van wasn't visible was b/c it was in the garage. no biggy. pat was more concerned than i was. go in the house. dead silent. "anyone home" a faint "yea" is the only reply. i say" dad, where are mom and grady?" dad says " the totaled the van" i start fumbling, i say " are they ok, dad, dad! answer me!" by this time i think bad, if he isn't at the hosipital, or maybe he just came home to get me. anyway, i feel bad, growing more and more hysterical. he won't reply. i run up stairs. dad is laughing. mom is watching tv. i'm sobbing. mom says " that was mean, hahahhah" i say, omg..." flabergasted, "i really believed you. that is not funny. when you didn't answere i thought they were dead" dad starts saying how i'm over reacting. blaming my tears on my own exersion, from doing too much. they say get out of their bed room, telling me all the things i didn't do today, (i made arrangement for every detail of fair last night untill 2 am) i go outside to get some paper work. trying not to cry any longer. still not funny, to me. one reason was b/c about a week ago i had a dream that mom died. and then of cource my accident. he thought it was hilarious. sort of like the time he lead me to beleive that he had hit a dear, when he had a mounted head in the blazer. i hope this was funny for you, b/c it was not for me. i'm distressed. i need a glass of water. steph, i'll call you, k-t, whats up w/ the fuz? lisa, did ya get my message?

well, i'm not in love, but i do like
yea, skipped work today, need to do my hmwrk. bye