sonic reducer

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:: 2005 31 July :: 10.34pm

I think this could really be happening...............................

Anyway, today was nice. Day off. Char came over and hung out and then my grandparents came over and we had a bbq. Then Char and I layed in bed and watched t.v. and it just felt nice. I remember a couple years ago when I seriously couldn't wait to get a job. How crazy was I??? I mean, having money is good most of the time, but now...I will be working for the rest of my life. Give or take a little time off. I just keep hoping I win the lottery. I am so going to. HAHAHA. It'd be awesome though. Tomorrow is work, once again. But for anyone who has been feeling like I have been, about how it seems never-ending and stupid. What I tell myself to get me through is that no matter what, I will be able to go to sleep again, go home again, do what I want sometime. For some reason I was just feeling like I would never be leaving work. You just have to really cherish the time you do have. And now that schools over, time has been FLYING by. Seriously. Well, I am going to sleep soon. G'night.

:: 2005 28 July :: 1.14am

Wow. Interesting. Bowling was fun. Getting lost was semi-fun. Except I was driving by myself for an hour and 20 minutes. Eh.
I had a blood test done today so I get the results tomorrow so we shall see. I'm so tired. BBVD FRIDAY!!!! YAY CHARLIE!!! hehe I love you <3<3<3

:: 2005 27 July :: 1.49pm

Office Space says everything.

:: 2005 26 July :: 10.23pm
:: Music: Modest Mouse- You're The Good Things

I LOVE THIS SONG!
And the help's ain't short
When you're diggin' your grave now
And the help's not short
SHORT!
I'll help you dig it!
And the help's not short, no.
So
you're diggin' your grave now
And the help's not short
SHORT!
I'll help you dig it! No
And the help's not short
Your speakin' my language!
Yeah!
And the help's not short
SHORT!
I will help you dig it!
~~~~

Work went pretty well today. The register was short. I had a little girl about 8 or 9 who wanted COFFEE. What the heck? And I had a pregnant lady ask for an ESPRESSO! I guess it's not really my place...
Eh.
I get to sleep in tomorrow!!!! YAYYY! And tonight I'm ordering a few Vonnegut books. Double YAYYY! I go to the doc tomorrow. Hmm...!
OH, a weird dream I had the other day:
I was driving down this road when this semi tried passing me. It was full of gas. And it passed me in slow motion but it just kept going and I could see what was going to happen. It went all the way off the road and into the woods and I thought "I should pull over and get out because something bad is going to happen!" I don't know why I got out. So I jumped out and went into a ditch. And I heard the explosion and felt the air move from far away. Then I tried covering most of my body but I looked up to see tires falling from the sky. And then afterwards when it was safe I walked away and went home. Then I saw it on the news and thought, I need to go back to talk to the news crew. They didn't even know I was involved. They didn't even know if I was hurt or not. So I went back.
And that was it. It was weird and really real.
Anyway, G'night.

4 comments | feedback

:: 2005 25 July :: 9.16pm

MMMM
I do not know why...
But I am in love with Cheetos right now.
yum. hahaha

:: 2005 25 July :: 9.11pm
:: Music: Hell's Kitchen

I am getting worn out and tired. I'll be getting up at 4:30 again tomorrow. I was supposed to get a day off yesterday but no. Didn't happen. Now my day off is FINALLY on Wednesday but that is the day I go to the doctor. So we'll see. It'll be nice to sleep.

I just want a job where I have the freedom to make things I want. I miss school because of that. I had the time and freedom to cook whatever. Extravagant or not. And on those days at 6 when I was too tired to cook anything and being lazy...I should have taken advantage when I had the chance. I will be working almost every day...For the rest of my life. This is not life. I can't wait to work my way up to the top so I will be able to do what I want. I am stubborn like that. Anyway, I have to get to bed soon.

:: 2005 24 July :: 11.18am
:: Music: fan

egocentricity

i've been working and such. as always. it simultaneously sucks my will to live, and keeps me going.

example: (this is a normal day in the life of chris.)

- wake up at 5 am.
- leave at 5:30
- work from 6 - 10:30.
- stop at krispy kreme. have a lengthy and angry phone convo with mom.
- go back to the house.
- bruce and i go out to breakfast.
- 12:30, get back from breakfast... call jackie.
- spend the afternoon cleaning the car. and trying to fix it. and adjusting stereo equipment.
- take a shower.
- 3:30 leave. (packed up car again. messy as ever.)
- 4 pm. arrive at store.
- 4:30 leave store.
- 5 pm, realize you'v ejust wasted half an hour going to the trailer.
- go to jackie's.
- 5:30 stop for gas en route. attempt to reawaken from highway hypnosis.
- 6 pm. still in meijer trying to smell good. shit. i'm late for jackies.
- 6:15 jackie doesn't care that i'm late, because i smell so nice.
- at this point i stopped watching the clock. we went to bilbo's for dinner. we ate pizza. drove around for a little bit, then went back.
- i left jackie's at about 11:15.
- home and in bed at 12:30.

that's actually an exceptionally long day... but still. it just sucks everything out of you. it was way worth it, though. and at least i got to sleep in this morning. that was nice.

i don't think it's going to get better in college.

speaking of which, i went to orientation. here's the stuff:

HNR 215 - history of european civilization I (3)
HNR 216 - history of european civilization II (3)
COM 101 - intro to communications. (3)
GER 101 - intro to german (4)

for a grand total of (13) credits. i have 16 credits for the winter semester. i just hope i don't die. or fuck up on the classes i should be taking. i'm really kind of at a loss here. i mean, they have stuff for the kids who are entirely clueless. and they have things for the kids who know exactly what they want. i guess i fall through the crack in the middle.

in other news, harry potter was muy excellente.

and i have to go move out of the old house now.

buh-bye.

9 comments | feedback

:: 2005 21 July :: 6.55pm
:: Music: Belle & Sebastian- Step Into My Office, Baby

Say my place at 9
Well. I am really glad to put in the day. It's done. Whoo. 9 hours. It was just crazy at the moment. I'm a lot more relaxed now. Anyway. My phone is coming in an hour so YAY. It feels really good to actually spend money and get some nice things. I've just been putting it in the bank or paying off my car. It feels like things are going quite smoothly. I really want a house. HAHAHA how crazy is that??? I just really want a house now. My grandpa is finishing building a really nice one and I want it. But blah...I'm not old at all. Why do I want all this crazy stuff? haha. But it'd be nice. Puppies are barking now. Aw. How cute. Hahaha. They really are though. Tomorrow is the bid wheelchair tournament so we're going to be crazy busy. Blah. Then it goes on Saturday too. Sunday is my only day off. But it's okay. I'm growing up. It's okay.
That is all.

:: 2005 20 July :: 10.06pm
:: Music: Elliott Smith-Let's Get Lost

My new camera rocks! I took this awesome picture today, too. And I worked which sucked. But I got to see Charlie :-) That was good. I need to go to bed soon, I kind of open tomorrow but I still have to get up at 5:30. Then I can pick up my new phone after work! Yay!

This may be a stupid question, but how can I upload a picture into my journal entry?

:: 2005 17 July :: 8.57pm
:: Music: Elliott Smith- Twilight

Don't want to see the day when it's dyin'...
I'm already somebody's baby.

It's been a good weekend. I don't have to work until Tuesday. I'm not counting down time like I always do. I'm growing. I'm getting better.

Oh, and I'm getting a new phone tonight. I'm excited.

I could make you smile...if you stayed a while...:-)

:: 2005 17 July :: 1.06pm

mexico city is insane.
glad to have gone.
happy to be back.

:: 2005 13 July :: 8.30am
:: Music: Manic Hispanic - The INX Took My Novia Away

Content. Content. I should be content. For once in my life, it seems like I finally have it semi together. Good grief.

There's a nice boy. And he dragged me to a metal show. He wore a NOFX "The War On Errorism" shirt yesterday with my spiked belt, and looked fairly good that way. Oh, and he coos like a pigeon.

1 comment | feedback

:: 2005 11 July :: 11.30pm

From the boards:
Holiday � It certainly sounds like you may have m/c�d.

Holiday05
That is what happened to me when I m/c. I am sorry to be telling you that. Call your Dr and you should probably go see him.

Hilary.

I dont have much insight for you, but i have heard of ppl being late on af...(more info)... supposidely its an early misscarriage. This may be what happened to you.

good luck!
~

So yeah. That is kind of what's going on now. I work tomorrow 11:30-6. (I close) Blah. I'm tired. G'night.

:: 2005 11 July :: 11.02pm

Hm...
Update:
Last Monday was Charlie and my 2 yr Anniversary! :-)
Worked today until 10:30 today
Then worked out for an hour.
Went to the bank.
Went to Charlie's.
Then I went shopping at Schuellers
Went shopping at Meijers. I got us groceries :-)
Went to Kohls and bought some jeans and held a skirt and shirt (mom's picking it up tomorrow YAY!)
Went back to Char's. He was awake then so we went to pick up the Explorer. He went to get a part, I went back and did some dishes and made dinner.
He got back and fixed the car.
What am I? A 1950s housewife? hahaha. No, it was fine. I actually didn't mind it a bit. I like it.
We talked more about the situation at hand. But now with getting his car fixed we probably don't have money to go to the doctor. Well, not really a good sign.
Good news: we're getting new phones. family-plan probably nextel or something.
It was cute, I got home and told my parents about what I did today and my dad goes "See Kim? I TOLD you. I know what's going on!" and I asked my mom what he was talking about and she said, "Oh he just said you were over there playing house."
Hahaha. That's funny. He doesn't shudder anymore at the talk of weddings and wife and all that good stuff. Hahaha. He is happy.
I am happy. Still confused. But you know, happy with other stuff.

Wow this is long. Well. I figure I write pretty cryptically sometimes so I wrote about my day. Hehe. Well, g'night!

:: 2005 10 July :: 8.06pm

Okay. I really am upset. I feel like I caused something to happen somehow. I really don't know.

:: 2005 10 July :: 8.01pm
:: Music: Finch- Ravenous

So...
I really don't know how to feel. I know I am sad. But I need closure. I need to talk to a doctor. I need to know what actually happened. I keep thinking I did something wrong. I know that's not really the case. But I can't help feeling like my body let me down. If I would've gone sooner, maybe we would have known. I just keep saying maybe. But I NEED CLOSURE. In the meantime. I'll find out how to deal.

2 comments | feedback

:: 2005 9 July :: 11.59pm

my flight leaves in 6 hours..
it's probably time to pack.

:: 2005 29 June :: 10.44pm

Wow. I am just learning now how psychotic my boss is. EVERYONE::: DO NOT WORK AT TWO SISTERS CAFE!!!
I mean, it's a great place to work, if you really don't mind having your brain ripped out by your bosses fingernail (to say the least)
I am not joking at all. She made me cry today. And then had the nerve to tell me, with all her yelling, that I'm "lucky this is such a good job, no other place will put up with that crap". Well I am SORRY! But that is bullshit lady. I have worked in more kitchens than you for longer than you have and I know that if I want to leave I WILL LEAVE. I can find a job that will not "TEST" me and be manipulative and be insane. This job is nice, don't get me wrong...it's really just the boss.

So, if anyone really wants to visit me, I WOULD ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!!!!
Kathy won't be there tomorrow, or next tuesday, and both days I work 11:30-6.
Two Sisters Cafe, in Champion (Rockford) open to the public. duh. :-)

In other news, Charlie won't let me go to Michigan's Adventures. Well, just in case, you know. I've already rode the Zipper. Don't want her comin' out all cross-eyed. :-P
The zipper is crazy. I will never ride that thing as long as I live.
Off to work tomorrow so I better get some sleep.

2 comments | feedback

:: 2005 28 June :: 11.31pm

baby, i'm falling away
baby, i'm falling away
you were always good at putting words together
about how you always liked me better when i never came around
you were always good at putting words together
and wearing them loud

:: 2005 28 June :: 10.31pm

Tonight was definitely interesting. I didn't feel too well at work today but it got better. ate a samwich. drank a yummy drink. I need visitors there. Jane and I were bored out of our minds! Today was an interesting day though. Full of craziness. I need to go to the beach. I want to lay in the sun. I'm scared to ride quads, I think I need practice. And rollercoasters. But I love them just the same.
So tired. Water is good. :-)
So is sleep.

:: 2005 27 June :: 9.25pm

worst headache of my LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had to leave work early. It actually made me sick.
Ugh. I am tired. My eyes felt like they were being cut.
Feeling a little better now. :-)

:: 2005 23 June :: 12.05pm

From Work Update

alright. looks like mom is going to pick up the mini tomorrow sometime. it's in chicago.

we're on 9 hours today. have been all week. we're also scheduled for up to six hours on saturday. so that's, 45 hours, plus 6, 51 hours.

i suppose my bank account will love me for the 11 hours of time-and-a-half, but my dogs are barkin', let me tell ya.

this job is not good for your body. but i'm definitely firming up. i have to drink more water. and i should do at least one bowl of keto-bran flake-buds a day.

i have also ascertained that my vocal range is a smidgen over 2 octaves. and i don't own it all. i find that depressing. oh well. we have ways of improving. eventually.

oop. stuff's dropping. time to go.

7 comments | feedback

:: 2005 23 June :: 10.40am

the older that i get
seems like everyone is dying
we're all dying for a change
and i know i'm dying for some action

:: 2005 21 June :: 9.43pm

I guess I realized today that life's one true, real promise is death.

On a lighter note: I like my job. A lot.

:: 2005 21 June :: 11.12am

mix it up until there are no pedigrees

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