I've been thinking...


I've been losing friends left and right. Every move I make could cost me a friendship. I had started watching what I was doing/saying so I wouldn't hurt anybody or offend anyone. I didn't want anyone mad at me and I didn't want any conflict or drama to go on...

Half of the people I used to talk to everyday dont even want anything to do with me anymore. For example:: a bunch of my friends are all going to Lake Michigan on Saturday. I didn't find out until Ashley asked if I was going. No one invited me, no one was going to invite me...

Yet no matter how hard I tried to keep everyone happy, things just manage to blow up in my face. I get fucked over everytime I try to keep something going.

It's stupid...

I'm done with being polite and trying to make people like me.

This is who I am::
I drink, I dont have a problem or anything, I just drink. And I dont party with complete strangers, I have fun with friends that I know will take care of me and make sure nothing bad happens to me.
I'm selfish. I like money. After being so unhappy with my parents being in dept most of my life and always wishing to be someone else because of what they have, I do believe that money buys happiness no matter what anyone says.
I hold grudges easily and for a long time. It takes so long for me to get over something even if it's just a little thing and I know that it will all be cleared up in no time, there's still something inside of me that is pissed and wont let it go.
I have a problem with opening up to people.
I dont cry in front of people. I dont like letting everyone know I have a weakness. I dont like people pittying me. It makes me feel stupid and I dont like that feeling too much.
I'm judgemental but I hate being judged.
I have terrible grammar when it comes to typing things online.
I really dont care.
I'm a procrastinator.
I like things to go my way and no other way.
I get pissed when my plans get ruined.
I'm messy. I hate cleaning.
I dont care what people think of me. I used to but things are starting to change.
You either love me or you hate me, there is really no inbetween.
Mindy and Ashley are my 2 best friends in the whole wide world.
And I have a piece of shit car, but atleast it has a speeddometor now.



So this is who I am. If you dont like it, then oh well.

I can make new friends just as fast as I can get read of them.

I hate saying goodbye. But if people dont like who I am, than I suppose it is time. I'm not going to say I dont need anybody, I'm just need someone who's going to be there and like me for me, no matter what my flaws are.

4 *MUAH* | Kiss My Booboo All Better...