imaqinary
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2006 4 October :: 9.17pm
:: Mood: melancholy
:: Music: "What A Sight"- Matchbook Romance
Crying..
Hello journal...
I thought I'd handle it better.. but I mean, how good could I take it? My girlfriend.. who I love with all of my heart.. moved today. The past 2 days I helped her pack with her mom and her brother.. it was ok then.. but today when she left, damn, I don't think I've ever felt a feeling of emptiness so strong before.
This morning was fun though because Alyssa and I went to breakfast w/ Javie, Bryan, DJ, Danielle, and Alfonso. =] Those are some funny people! lol.. but anyway... back to what I was saying..
Alyssa left a little before noon. They dropped me off before they went on the road and when she was hugging me and saying goodbye, she was beginning to cry but I stopped her. When I walked into my house though.. the tears started to form. It's going to be so hard without her here. Especially because we're going to try to work out our relationship long distance. I know what everyone thinks when they here long distance, "Never going to work." I mean, I tried long distance with Mike.. but I didn't know what I was getting myself into then. I know better now and I know what not to do. I just really hope she can do it. She was starting to scare me about it because today she told me she was having a little doubtfulness.
I want to be with her so much. I really love her. More than I think she comprehends. I hope she can withstand it. =\ I told her if she loves me as much as she claims to, then she can do it. I know that I'm not going to do anything stupid.
I'm going to see her a few days before Christmas though. I've already talked to my dad and he said he'd send me up there and I'd stay for a few days. =] I'm so excited! It's going to be soo cold though! As a native Floridian, 30 degrees is like, freezing, hypothermia, weather. lol It might be as little as 10 degrees or lower there at that time! I might die... but atleast I'll see Alyssa! hehe
Well, had to get that off of my chest... I was crying too much.
[i l o v e a l y s s a]
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chorusnerd620
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2006 1 October :: 10.00pm
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: Spin-Taking Back Sunday
My First!
Wow! its been a while... 8th grade memories...aaahhh Flashback! Alots changed since then. Im 16 now...Im more open than i was then.. (with my sexuality) I have a WONDERFUL BEAUTIFUL girlfriend named Gina :D. im a chorus lover! too Obssessed with it. Im in 11th grade. oh yea! i have completely different friends..still a Dolphin lover! although their not doing too great this season...well, you get the point. Anyways, today i hungout wtih my love! YAY! we cuddled and we played HACKYSACK! aaawww she looked so cute trying to play. :sigh: i love her so much! then we cuddled more...i couldnt watch the Dolphin it was too upsetting...i didnt do that much today..just a regualr boring day...well, until my lilo Woobie had to leave. :( than i was borededed. After that i had to Babysit 3 little brats, nothing exciting...than i really didnt do much..and now im writing here..so yea. nothing too interesting..maybe later there will be something worth reading...until next time i guess...
i love Gina!
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imaqinary
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2006 1 October :: 9.42pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: "You Can Be As Loud As The Hell You Want"- Avenue Q
Been Awhile..
Hello!!
Yeah, it's been awhile.. sorry.. I've been really lazyy.. Anyway... school is blah... I don't have to go to school for the next 3 days because monday is teacher's planning and tuesday and wednesday are FCAT retakes.. ((I'm cool and I passed!!)) lol.. yeahh... Alyssa's leaving again.. moving back to Michigan.. & this time, she can't come back. It really sucks because now we're together and we're going to try the long distance thing because we REALLY want to be together. It's going to be really, really hard and I know that no one really has any belief that it's going to work, but I don't care. I really love her and I want to be with her. =] We should be selling the house soon too. I can't wait to leave! As much as I'm going to miss all of my friends, I need to get out of Homestead. It's really a hell masked with landscaping and buildings. =P Ahh, it's really cold.. I'm going to get a sweater. lol
ok, back.. well, I gave my only invitation code to Alyssa because she said she wanted a Woohu again.. hehe now I can read her thoughts.. hmmm..... lol
I think I'm going to write tomorrow... but I'll leave some icons!!
=]Read more..
[love] you till I die
Gina
I ¢¾ Alyssa
-My Love-
-My Life-
-My Everything-
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imaqinary
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2006 14 August :: 8.47pm
:: Mood: listless
First dayy back..
ok... So today was the first day of school... ahh I'm officially a junior! I love it! But anyway... it was so hectic today.. I didn't even get to school until about 7:35 which I was extremely mad about.. Tomorrow I'm going to get there before 7 though so I'm glad.. I actually drove to school.. so cool but so frustrating at the same time because of traffic. I had to pick my cousin up and take him to school, and then I picked up Alyssa and was on my way to same old South Dade.... ended up leaving my lights on in the car all day, so when I come outside to turn the alarm off and leave.. I don't hear a beep. I try opening the door and it's unlocked. Then, I put the key in the ignition and try to start it and NOTHING HAPPENS! Gosh.. that was the scariest thing ever... Alyssa was right next to me and she kept asking, "Are you doing it right? What's wrong with it?!" lol So, she tried and she was like.. "..oh" =P So I start to cry because it's not my car.. it's my aunt's and I had to pick my cousin up from school.. I call my dad crying. lol Saying "Dad! The car's not starting!" And I found out the lights had been on... My dad was going to get one of his coworkers to drive over to the school and give me a jump but my friend Javie, thankfully had jumper cables!! lol... so after that my day was pretty good... except for the fact that I was freaking out that those bastards in the office COMPLETELY ruined my schedule.. giving me Honors American History instead of AP.. giving me AP Physics instead of Honors.. and Not giving me chorus!! I skipped my AP Physics class just to go to chorus.. I don't flippin care... that's my future they're messing with!! ugh.. I was so mad... and then they gave me some Leadership Skills Development class... I didn't even know my school had that course! =[ but yeah... I already had homework for my AP English class... but my teacher is sooo awesome! =] well.. i think that's enough for the day... I'll try to write tomorrow!
i'll [love] her always & forever
{g i n a}
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imaqinary
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2006 12 August :: 12.00am
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: "One More Sad Song"- The All-American Rejects
And All That Jazz..
So... bored.. looking over my mom's house.. gosh, I know I shouldn't but I think I'm going to go over to Alyssa's with Barbara's car.. eek.. I'm pretty scared though.. what if something happened and I got caught by my dad or in an accident or something... that would suck! But I'll risk it for her.. =] But yeah... school starts monday and I'm soo not looking forward to it.. I was a few days ago.. but I just got that whole "I hate school" feeling. lol The only cool thing is I get to see Alyssa, Chorus, and I can drive to school..that's about it.. Some people came over to look at our house before I left to my mom's... they seem really interested in buying it.. gayy... =[ Can't do anything about it though...
I went to Wal-Mart today w/ Alyssa and bought stuff to make bracelets! I'm so excited!! =]
Yeahh.. I think I'm going to get dressed and go over to Alyssa's for a few minutes.. so I'll write a little later...
"Just get dressed, don't do this.."
--"Number Five With A Bullet" Taking Back Sunday
[love] a l w a y s
that g i r l
i -l o v e- her
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imaqinary
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2006 7 August :: 7.32pm
:: Mood: stressed
:: Music: "Gomenasai"- t.A.T.u
Those icons....
=] yay! Thanks to Ashleigh I know how to do the read more thing.. so Icons ahoy!!! lol
Read more..
But yeah... I love me some good icons.. lol ;] well, write later!
[g i n a]
i l o v e a l y s s a
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imaqinary
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2006 6 August :: 2.56pm
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: "Hide And Seek"- Imogen Heap
Blah... the move.. life
so hello.... I know you can't answer me and I know that no one reads this.. but I have to tell someone ((or something)) my problems at the moment...
Tomorrow someone is coming to look at the house... ugh.. I have to clean all day and make sure the house looks as close to perfect as I possibly can get it... =[ If the people want the house, we'll be gone in a month or less... I'm scared.. I've never moved outside of Homestead before.. weeiird..
I think Alyssa's mad at me or something.. not exactly sure... last night when we got off the phone, she didn't seem very happy with me.. =[ I'm a bad girlfriend.... hopefully I'll talk to her in a little while because I wanted to see her tonight... My dad said that I could spend the night at her house and take the truck so that I can leave in the morning and start to clean the house.. =]
My mom's was insane... we went to look at cars yesterday for my aunt.. my mom started drinking while we were in the car... fucking psycho bitch... I guess 3 or 4 times in Rehab still wouldn't fix her... my aunt yelled at her and we took her drink away and poured it out in front of her... THAT part was hilarious.. lol but yeah.... I wanted to put some icons on here but since I deleted all of my other entries, I completely forgot how to put that "read more" thing on.... I'll find out and start putting some icons on here =]
Well, going to go.... bllahh..
[love] a l w a y s && f o r e v e r
u n t i l t h e {day} I [die]
+g i n a+
i [love] a l y s s a
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imaqinary
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2006 5 August :: 10.10am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: "Hide And Seek"- Imogen Heap
Before I Go..
okk... I thought I'd write an entry before I left to my mother's... :rolls eyes again: =] well, hopefully I can write later tonight but not sure if I can get on her laptop.... =[
[ l o v e ] y a
g i n a
{i .love. t h i s b e a u t i f u l g i r l}
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imaqinary
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2006 4 August :: 4.53pm
:: Mood: indifferent
:: Music: "I Can't Do It Alone"- Chicago Soundtrack
Seems like I'm always listening to Chicago..
Hello...
I'm pretty bored now because I came back from Alyssa's a little earlier... ((I slept over last night)) and now she's left for the weekend to Sarasota.. I have to go to my mom's this weekend.. :rolls eyes: ugh.. I'm so not looking forward to that.. But I just have to think, I'm not going to see her that much after we move anyway.. so I guess I'll see her 1 or 2 times before I leave.. Moving to Tallahassee is going to be way harder than I thought... having to part with everyone and everything I'd be leaving behind.. Alyssa.. My chorus girls and guys.. My regular school and other friends.. Mainly Alyssa though... she's everything.. Now that we're together, I feel like she's become my life.. she's more important to me than anything. I love her so much and it's going to be so hard leaving her... =[
Part of me though wants to get out of Homestead.. I mean, I'd be leaving a D school for an A school.. I'd be getting a car.. Better house.. My dad would be making more money.. & I could get a job and save up for college.. but it's going to be really hard..
Then the whole deal with Mike... we're not talking anymore because he feels that not talking will make me get over him easier.. I think it's a good thing in the sense that I won't lie to Alyssa again... & I will get over him because I can feel him being somewhat ripped apart from me.. like I'm shedding skin or something... kind of odd how someone that means so much to you one minute and the next be nothing to you...I think it's kind of sad.... and I did cry the day we stopped talking.. ((Tuesday?)) I cried myself to sleep actually... I was really upset because I felt like I was losing my best friend.. but I knew that it was necessary to me and Alyssa... but yeah.. enough with the depressing stories.... I think I'm going to write a little later because I have to put some clothes in the dryer.. =]
♥
Gina
i l o v e a l y s s a
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imaqinary
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2006 2 August :: 10.18pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: "Funny Honey"- Chicago soundtrack
I'm BACK!!
Heyy.... it's been soooo long since I've written in here... I believe I'm going to start using this thing like I used to... =] well, everyone I know got rid of their journals a long time ago.. so no one's really going to see it... but oh well... maybe I'll bring woohu back to everyone I know!! lol I think I'm going to go take a shower and when I get back, I'm going to change my whole journal... =P write later!!!
=]
[love]
Gina
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