spud
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2008 21 August :: 12.44am
:: Music: Pink Floyd - Dogs
school starts yet again, very very soon.
you'd think i'd be excited. that's usually how it goes this time of year. a little mellow and pensive, but excited nonetheless.
however, this year i just feel kind of depressed. like it's basically over already, and i'm just going through the motions. jumping through hoops until the hoops are gone. i guess i'm just depressed because i know that i won't know what to do when that happens. i've been jumping (whether poorly or not is of little consequence) for so long, that it's all i know how to do. or at least, it's the only thing i've managed to convince myself i'm comfortable doing, despite the fact that i still to this day do not know how to do it.
i think i'll feel better once the days start getting shorter and cooler, and the leaves start to change, and i get to enjoy the smells of warm donuts and fresh apple cider and pumpkins and hay. i always love that time. and every august i forget that it's not for another two months or so.
but a boy can dream, i suppose.
and in the meantime, he should get a fucking job. how many times have i said that on here? and how many more times will i repeat myself until it actually happens?
more than i'd care to admit.
1 screamed |
i am afraid
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skippi16
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2008 17 August :: 11.42pm
i dont know how to feel
i am home alone at the moment, tj is up in Mi for his party and i miss him horribly.
so that "friend" that i had who was supposed to be in my wedding be decided her stupid ass was more important a basically quit on me. she went to a friends wedding in MI with her BF and wore the dress i picked out for her to wear in my wedding. AND I AM PISSED!! here she is having fun in a dress that should make her sad. i know its stupid to say but god damnit im mad that she ruined a good friendship cause she couldnt act like a fucking adult.... people are so fucking stupid
i am afraid
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.j.e.s.s.
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2008 17 August :: 8.27pm
Why do people think they don't have to be responsible for their own kids? Why do people think they dobt have to be responsible for themselves? Why do people think you are being rude or asking too much when you are just simply asking them to follow the rules of YOUR house? Its my apartment you are a freaking guest.. If I should even call you that.. In MY HOUSE! Sorry but that means you follow my rules or you can fucking leave. Just because you think you are some tough guy gangster whatever doesn't mean you don't have to answer someone when they tell you to take care of the mess you made! And no! Im not gonna fucking watch your daughter for you! Get a job! Maybe then you can pay me to do it! But until then I won't watch your daughter when you have nothing better to do but drink.
Ughghghghhgghgh people are so stupid.
1 screamed |
i am afraid
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spud
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2008 15 August :: 12.27am
i could never be a writer.
i'm way too shitty at managing my time.
2 screamed |
i am afraid
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spud
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2008 14 August :: 3.12pm
i know this is lame of me, but still.
i'm kind of hurt because a bunch of people i know apparently went out to a bar that i may not frequent, but have certainly been to several times (and have thoroughly enjoyed every time), and not one of them invited me.
i mean, maybe i wouldn't have gone anyway, but at least then i would have had the choice. it just makes me sad that there are so many nice people out there that really don't want me around.
and mom wanted me to find a friend to go with us to the baseball game tomorrow night, and i completely ran out of friends. i was running off the list in my head, and most of them were out of town or busy. and i wasn't going to count on kevin, because i figured he'd be with andrea. but maybe he'll pull through still.
all in all, i don't feel very desirable at the moment. and shannon doesn't count because she has more justifiable reasons to despise me than most anyone else, and her ignorance of that fact is not any fault of my own.
i'm gonna go mow lawn soon, i think. i don't feel like calling lenders today. addison was supposed to call me, though. maybe i'll give him a ring first.
i am afraid
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skippi16
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2008 14 August :: 2.45pm
Random ranting, read if you really want to but it makes no sense
at the current moment i am about to fuking burst!! im so fuckin mad that nothing could make me happy!!! we have no money cause i just paid the church the alomst 700.00 we owed them for this f*ing wedding now we have like 300.00 in the bank, bills to pay, bills over due cause someone mixes them up with random paperwork and dosent tell me they are here, and he needs to make it up to MI this weekend. some how i could have never fathomed this, i was hoping for help from my parents to pay for some part but since my dad has no jog i have to pay for it all and it is rally kicking mya ss. a few days ago everything was ok but since that check hasnt come yet i am going sooooo far into debt its horrible. not necessarily into debt cause i dont owe really anyone tons, but the money i need for next week isnt here and i dont know how i am going to pay for anyhting and i am waiting for the fucking 3 grand to get here already and even if i do get it tomorrow i cant deposit it until monday cause thats how bad my life sucks balls and tj thinks he cant go to MI for his party and i dont know how is going to get there and back and all this shit is making my fuckin crazzzzzzy..... DRAMA of the worst kind and i am ready for it be over~!
and the funny thing about it is i just wrote about how good i am with $$$ god this is fuckied up.
2 screamed |
i am afraid
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skippi16
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2008 13 August :: 5.46pm
so nathan comes home today,,, im happy and sad all in the same feeling
i am afraid
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skippi16
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2008 12 August :: 11.36pm
either me and tj are just that f*ing awesome or really really lucky.
everyone around us is having $$$ issues, my parents, his dad all out friends, but in all honesty we are doing good. we oay our bills, and never bounce out checking account, i must be good it has to be it!!!lololo
in other news, 11more days until our wedding and its coming toooooo fast i have soo much to do yet its crazy. to all of u who wont be there...WTF!!! i understand but u are all going to miss a big party.
its amazing how u realize how much u truly love some one when you spend a weekend apart. i could not wait until i got home. and since ihave been home everytime he's around i get all happy and giddy n such. absence truly makes the heart grow fonder
i am afraid
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spud
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2008 11 August :: 6.24pm
gmail is having a server error. and that pisses me off.
so, thank you woohu, for not malfunctioning.
4 screamed |
i am afraid
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.j.e.s.s.
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2008 11 August :: 12.05am
Ffffffuuuuuuuuuccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Dru mk andgetti ng fired tomoorrow.yay........... fuck eveyr one of u I hate u all the only ones who matter are the oines upwhio can.put up with ot u dotnt even knoew dpoi its hot a d fukc on hre and I fu@k ng love danilelle but that's ptertty mucb it cuz idf u cxant outnup with. Ot. Then.o, .ficoignmg done
Dtimefoe.a shot.of 5 O
3 screamed |
i am afraid
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skippi16
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2008 10 August :: 10.52pm
so mayhem fucking rocked, it was one of the best days ever. i was so close i could literally feel david draimin sweat on me!!! omg i am just so happy that i got to go, all my pals check out my pics on myspace...www.myspace.com/musicislife7657
i am afraid
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.j.e.s.s.
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2008 7 August :: 11.02am
Ugugugugh please someone save me I need a new job so badly. Ireally cannot take it. Im going insane
1 screamed |
i am afraid
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spud
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2008 5 August :: 3.48pm
so, i'm completely done done with my summer class. still hasn't quite sunk in yet. but it will soon.
and emily is gone again. also hasn't sunk in. coffee today was nice though. i can't believe she'd never played chess before.
so yeah, that's pretty much it. i lost my phone charger at kevin's this weekend. kinda sucks. but i'm getting my new one soon, so it doesn't really even matter that much.
i don't know. i'm gonna go play drums, since i'm all out of ideas.
peace.
2 screamed |
i am afraid
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skippi16
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2008 4 August :: 10.46pm
Bachelorette party
going to be in MI this weekend anyone who wants to party let me know i will be in grand rapids friday night....yayayay
3 screamed |
i am afraid
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skippi16
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2008 4 August :: 4.42pm
and the week continues and the plot thickend but i still feel less and less amuzed with the whole thing
i am afraid
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