spud
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2007 17 November :: 4.19pm
"Life is hard. After all, it kills you."
- Katharine Hepburn
true that.
and also, i'm kind of stupid sometimes. i know this comes as a great shock to everyone.
hanging out with kevin tonight. i'm excited.
got to go ice skating yesterday, and partied last night. it was a very good time.
8 screamed |
i am afraid
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sugarjackj
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2007 15 November :: 4.02am
:: Mood: groggy
:: Music: Chad VanGaalen
My hardest classes are the one credit music classes...
Next Semester:
-Sight Sing Ear Train II -
-Concert Choir -
-History Survey Music II -
-Academic Learning Skills -
-Mass Comm Contemp Socty -
-Piano Class II -
-Bowling -
-Voice Lesson -
-Studio Class -
-Voice Area Recital/Music 097 -
-Opera -
And the grand total?..............
Only 15 Credit Hours.
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spud
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2007 12 November :: 6.32pm
some things never change.
home sweet home.
baltimore was fun, as always.
concerts make me want to perform, as always.
and german club is showing lord of the rings in half an hour.
which means i'll be skipping my homework, as always.
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i am afraid
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.j.e.s.s.
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2007 9 November :: 1.35pm
i dont know what is going on with my life. maybe this is the changing point. how long can you go on not knowing?
i'm scared that ..........blhe bandlkfjalsdkjflkgja;ldkgjasldkgjasldkgjsldg
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spud
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2007 8 November :: 12.33am
:: Music: the voices (they're everywhere)
going to maryland. leaving tomorrow. should be fun.
jessica is super-cool. and awesome. and having to tolerate me. which sucks. and so is everyone else, but they're just not faring as well in their tolerance as she is. which is unfortunate, although not entirely unexpected.
i'm fucking tired. and i haven't done shit this week.
oh well. maybe at the end of this tunnel i'll find myself. or at least someone else who can find me for me.
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i am afraid
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.j.e.s.s.
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2007 7 November :: 2.56pm
me and jess tried on wedding dresses together today.
i'm not sure which one i want. she is though
i am afraid
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sugarjackj
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2007 6 November :: 6.27pm
I'm on fire, and I'll burn burn.
Tonight is Kate's concert. I'm excited :D
1 screamed |
i am afraid
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spud
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2007 6 November :: 4.07pm
:: Mood: disoriented
cardiopulmonary recussitation
"Loneliness is a power that we possess to give or take away forever.
All I know can be shown by your acceptance of the facts; they're shown before you.
Take what I say in a different way and it's easy to say that this is all confusion.
As I see a new day in me, I can also show if you - and you may - follow.
Speak to me of summer, long winters - longer than time can remember,
The setting up of other roads, to travel on in old, accustomed ways.
I still remember the talks by the water; the proud sons and daughters
That knew the knowledge of the land spoke to me in sweet accustomed ways."
and stuff and things.
all in all, though, feeling good. just very lost. and my concept of time is completely out the window.
i am afraid
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.j.e.s.s.
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2007 4 November :: 7.45pm
sometimes i just wonder what would happen if i just dropped out of school. i hate it so much it makes me so frustrated. there really is nothing i enjoy about it. nothing i get out of it. i've learned a few things ..... the only class i really liked and i didn't even like it that much i just found it relatively interesting was medical terminology.
it is stupid. fuck. i should just drop out and i'm not getting anywhere anyway. fuck fuck fuck. i wish i could just move to florida with my parents.
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i am afraid
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spud
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2007 3 November :: 4.23am
:: Music: kevin and jessica
i think i'm a good person.
it's amazing how i can be so alone, and yet so complexly together with so many people.
i wrote this earlier. i had an idea about reincarnation, which seemed poetic at the time:
My soul is an old man swimming.
Am I his final foray into the waters?
Or does he have life left in him yet?
At times he is very adept,
So well used to his aquatic occupation.
At other times he is old and tired,
Barely floundering on the surface.
Despite his age he has a spryness about him.
But is that enough to carry us through?
--------
all questions, no answers. oh - how the mighty fall.
it's so disjointed. primarily due to how i have fallen. or at least that is how i feel at this particular epoch. different times will give rise to different emotions.
fucking A.
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i am afraid
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spud
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2007 1 November :: 3.10am
as much as i feel like a lot just happened, i also feel like nothing's going to change. which is both good and bad.
and i just never know what the fuck i'm supposed to do with it all. it's like god's cruel joke.
puts all the fucking pieces in my hand, and just expects me to figure it out. the only flaw being that sometimes i have extra parts that i made myself, and sometimes i'm missing a few parts that slid under the couch. but i can't just give up on the puzzle because the parts sometimes come alive and bash me upside the head, until i put them together. and then the next shipment arrives, the moment i torque down the last bolt.
it's bullshit, i'm telling you.
and also, i have to remember that, while social relationships are like atomic bonds, once the bond is separated, sometimes they take an electron with. and sometimes they give you one. and sometimes you just trade a few. i think it works. too bad nobody else understands it.
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spud
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2007 31 October :: 2.17am
i carved a pumpkin tonight. it turned out well.
i also baked the seeds, which also turned out well, considering i forgot them in the oven for over half an hour.
and i got a sharpie tattoo of a skeleton from lindsay. nice work, linz. looks badass. oven mitt and all.
now time to sleep, so i can sort of act normal tomorrow-ish. although i don't have any plans for the evening. i may wind up studying, or something ridiculous like that. but c'mon, it's fucking halloween. i can do better than that. what'd i do last year? i don't remember. and the year before that i hung out with gunnie.
i always wind up being pretty boring on halloween. like the time i read harry potter while i was giving out candy. i enjoyed it, but it was very solitary and slow. which i guess i need sometimes.
i really want to play again. it's seriously beginning to hurt me inside. i just want it. so fucking bad. maybe this thing with robby is an answer.
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i am afraid
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anachronism
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2007 30 October :: 3.33pm
:: Mood: thoughtful
:: Music: The Kinks
Quotes.
Joe recently posted old quotes from my journal and it got me thinking of how I made a word document of all of the quotes over the years and it ended up being 58 pages in size 10 font. Nice, huh? Anyway, here are all of the quotes basically ever quoted for you to save and probably eventually actually get through! Enjoy.
Read more..
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spud
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2007 30 October :: 5.41am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Cake
Paper
Wood pulp; sometimes I despise you.
Now how the hell do I finish it? Dammit. Maybe after a couple hours of sleep this will fix itself.
i am afraid
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.j.e.s.s.
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2007 28 October :: 8.49pm
so today .... was like the worst day ever.
except i bought a new camera. i know i know why why why but i can't stand not havin a camera. and this one is really cool i hope it's really as awesome as i think it is.
it has a million settings and stuff.
now if only my man would come home...where is he? work.......
stupid work and stuff. stupid stupid. what an awful day.
i thought wer were gonna see a movie today but ... doubt it.
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