beauty
What is it that makes us pretty anyway? Why are one sort of looks more appealing than another?
I don't get it I guess.

I cut my bangs. I just went away chopping and now I have more bangs and a new style going on with my hair and I enjoy it. Yay for me for not effing them up.

I have to figure out how I'm going to quit Beaners. I told one of the girls I work with today that I was quitting because I have a hard time keeping secrets about myself. I can keep other peoples' secrets but not my own. She says Louis wont care that much and not to worry. But I think everyone is going to hate me and I'm scared to quit.

But I'm SO excited that I am going to work at Kindercare. I met with Heather, the director yesterday and she said I will work in the infant or toddler room YAY. Babies!! I love them.

Tomorrow I work at 5:30 am to 12. Bleh. I don't want to get up that fucking early. Stupid. Oh well.

I have a paper due tomorrow. 7 pages and I haven't started it.

Blehhhhh. My apartment smells. I'm not sure if it's Roman or if I need to take out the trash.

haha, I kid. I know it's the trash. I really need to take that out... hmm.. but the snow.. and it's a long walk .. and ... and... it's dark...and i dont want to.

I wish I was a millionaire. I do I do I do.

When the lease is up me and roman might live with people of our own sexes for a change. We don't know if we should be living together because then when we get married... it will feel like nothing has changed... You know? We'd get back from the honeymoon and go back to our same life. And we don't want that. I duno. And part of me really wants to live with jess and maybe some chicks. I duno. At the same time I love living with roman and I would hate to think of the people he would live with. guhhhhhh it makes me cringe to think of it. Well, i mean. only one person i am thinking of. i dont know who else he'd live with.


anyway. gosh i'm writing a novel. i want to lose weight. i have not bought "my" little debbie brownies (aka my favorite food ever in the entire world ever) in like a month. Yes, feel free to congratulate me. Seriously, there was a time ( like 2/3 months ago) that it was like if I didn't have my brownie that day, I couldn't function. sick . so i just try to think about how gross they really are in reality. so processed and rich and sugarry and all ... packaged and stuff. stop eating them. So I resist.

I can't wait for grey's anatomy. The good thinga bout working so early is that I can see grey's. lol.

And the daycare closes at 6 so i wil never have to miss Grey's ever ever again.

What do I want to do with my life?

I want to travel to tons of countries before I die. I want 15 minutes of (good) fame. I want to live comfortably and I want a perfect family.

If I named my kid Paja would I be a horrible mother? I like that name. Pajha maybe? Paja as in "Pay-sha" well kinda. i dont know how to spell the last part. ja . jha. like how in austin powers they say faja. it's like that. lol paja. I duno. I'm werid. I want my kids to have original names because I always hated how a million people had my same name.

Someone leave me a comment puhlease.

Goodnight children.

-Jessica michele

4 screamed | i am afraid