::hugs:: I love my chris!!

I HAD 5 WHOLE MINUTES OF CONVERSATION WITH HIM TODAY!!
I got my hair cut today.

Suzi was sad and I talked to her for almost 2 hours lol, by the time we were done it was too late for me to return all my other calls. I felt bad.

Nick likes my last journal entry...lol

I went to mass today, they were holding it in the gym b/c they're renivating the church and it was really hot!! OMG!!

My hair is cute!!

woohoo....

"We burn the gallows they erect, and cut the nooses they tie for out necks." - Brand New

SHOW ME YOUR BOOBS!!

Your Own Disaster (in a world full of a million songs, this is the one that brings me peace)
Just think of this and me
as just a few of the many things to lie around,
to clutter up your shelves.
And i wish you weren't worth the wait
cause there's some things i'd like to say to you.
And i don't think that you know what you've been missing.
Cause i don't think that you know what you've been missing.
And i dare you to forget the marks you left across my neck
from those nights when we were both found at our best.
Now i could make this obvious, and you
You could deny me all in one breath
You could shrug me off your shoulders.
And i don't think that you know what you've been missing.
Cause i don't think that you know what you've been missing.
And i don't think that you know, said i dont think that you know,
Said i don't think that you know what you've been missing.
Hey lush, have fun.
It's the weekend.
(And i don't think that you know what you've been missing.
No, i don't think that you know what you've been missing.
Oh, i don't think that you know what you've been missing.
No i don't think that you know what you've been missing.)
Just forget me.
It's that simple.

yipee for everyone but me
Once again someone else's love life is perfect and I am left watching from the other side of the window...

People suck.

Life sucks.

The world sucks.

EVERYTHING SUCKS!!

Ok now with that out of my system...

Today was so boring...I did nothing. Hmmmm.

Tomorrow I'm going shopping maybe something exciting will happen.

It seems that something is going on with everyone's relationships but me...::sighness::

Oh well...

woohoo....

"Nobody said it was easy, nobody said it would be so hard." - Coldplay

Eh...
Well I am dissapointed in a few people and the choices they have made today...hmmm...but I can't control people so I shouldn't really worry, or care.

I bought the new Dashboard Confessional CD today. My favorite song is "Bend and Not Break". I also bought the Brand New CD. It's really good. I like "Play Crack the Sky."

Benjii skated over here yesterday to visit me. It was cool, he wants me to listen to the Five Iron Frenzie CD he brought. I haven't had the time though. Lots has been happening.

I really don't have much to say...

Spencer called me last night. It was weird, I didn't even know he had my number.

I dunno...today is oddish. It started off pretty good but kind of went downhill due to the fact that I feel like shit...::sigh::

Well I'm leaving now, too bored or tired to add anymore...

Day Three of No Contact...

woohoo....

"This is the end." - Brand New

um....tropical fruit pies...lol
::Beats computer with stick:: DAMN TECHNOLOGICAL BEAST OF BURDEN!! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!

....oh....hello boys and girls. I went to the KZoo Ribfest and I feel sick lol. GO ME!!

I think I may have seen the evil bus driver who tried to hit me with her...bus. whoa...

Well not much going on...lol...so why did I bother writing a journal entry...? Because I had nothing better to do lol. I'm going to go tickle a ferret.

woohoo....

"Come up to meet ya, tell you I'm sorry, you don't how lovely you are." - Coldplay

Trudging through Thursday
It's another long and boring thursday...::sigh::

I've been so tired lately...it's this damn cold. I pretty much start to head down hill by 2:45pm. My medicine isn't much help, it's just cures my sleeping problems, not my day problems.

Nothing really exciting has happened today. I nearly got hit by a bus yesterday. I was walking and not paying attention and the driver didn't even try to stop, they would have plowed right through me lol. Go Katy!!

Nothing really to talk about, it's been a boring day...I want to go out and do something tomorrow with HIM (lol I love saying that). I am going to the KZoo Ribfest for no particular reason (FREE FOOD). Thinking about taking someone with me. Won't be asking Tony though...he hasn't called me back and I don't want to have to try and deal with the Wife of Satan again...she really pisses me off sometimes. But eh, I'll get over it.

I was bored earlier this afternoon so I drove by Susan and Mina's house. I also drove by Benjii's but I drive by there everyday lol. I think I'm gonna call someone...

woohoo....

"So you're friends think I'm crazy? But I wasn't trying to impress those girls was I?" - Dashboard Confessional

So far...
This has been a pretty good week.

I got the phone call I've been waiting for (the one from HIM...lol)!! I was sitting around watching Project Greenlight with my dad and it was like quarter to eleven. I thought it was Susan or someone so I didn't check the ID. I was SO surprised to hear his voice. It was such a feeling or relief and nervousness...it's hard to describe. He said he was on the phone with his friend like 5 minutes before and all of a sudden was like "I have to call Katy". He said he just wanted to talk about anything...it was great. My hand was shaking the entire time. It was scary though because I came home from Flint that day and on the way home I was thinking "It would be so great if he called me tonight". He kept insisting that it wasn't me and that he didn't think I understood that completely. So I invited him over because he said he wanted to tell me everything that had been going on. So we made plans for him to come over Monday.

He came over about 6:20ish but I didn't get home untill 6:45ish. I felt bad about him having to sit on my couch waiting. But we went outside and talked until 9:00. Some of the things he told me scared the shit out of me...I wanted to cry at one point. All the scars on his arm scared me to, I never noticed them all until now...::shudders:: We just sat outside, holding hands and laying on the grass. There was this one point where we were facing each other and I leaned forward and hugged him and he held me real tight. I wanted him to never let go...I had been missing that feeling for so long. I really want to be his again. I feel so much better but there is still that small missing piece. I never wanted him to leave but he had to get home to his son...::sigh::

I talked to Sensei on Monday and she is moving to Novi next week. I told her I'd meet her up there and asked if I could bring Tony with me. i haven't gotten a reply back yet.

I GET TO GO TO DASHBOARD ON OCTOBER FOURTH!! HOORAH!!

Well that's it for now...I think...

woohoo....

"Won't you hold me now? I will not bend I will not break" - Dashboard Confessional

Harder to Breathe
How dare you say that my behavior is unacceptable
So condescending unnecessarily critical
I have the tendency of getting very physical
So watch your step cause if I do you'll need a miracle
You drain me dry and make me wonder why I'm even here
This Double Vision I was seeing is finally clear
You want to stay but you know very well I want you gone
Not fit to fuckin' tread the ground that I am walking on
When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
What you are doing is screwing things up inside my head
You should know better you never listened to a word I said
Clutching your pillow and writhing in a naked sweat
Hoping somebody someday will do you like I did
When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Does it kill
Does it burn
Is it painful to learn
That it's me that has all the control
Does it thrill
Does it sting
When you feel what I bring
And you wish that you had me to hold

"you are a god among insects, never let anyone ever tell you otherwise"

I feel like shit today....

I think I'm dying...

Or it could just be a cold...

woohoo....

"Maybe it's love, but it's like you said 'love is like a role that we play'" - Dashboard Confessional

tid bits of convo from the day
Convo with Susan:
------------------------
We were talking about people calling while the people on the other line were having sex:

KillAPartyClown2 (2:45:52 PM): I would have called back 5 minutes later and been like "YOU DONE YET?!" LMAO
Suzisport (2:46:26 PM): lmoa
Suzisport (2:46:33 PM): yeah i know you would've
KillAPartyClown2 (2:46:41 PM): ::Grins::
Suzisport (2:46:54 PM): teehee, and you know i would do the same to you
KillAPartyClown2 (2:47:21 PM): yeah but see you won't be making that phone call for at least 4 years
Suzisport (2:47:39 PM): darn
KillAPartyClown2 (2:48:12 PM): you'll call me on my wedding night "So you done it yet? call me when your done...better yet call me during you're multi talented and it will save time" LMFAO!!
KillAPartyClown2 (2:48:16 PM): dude
KillAPartyClown2 (2:48:21 PM): that would be funny
Suzisport (2:48:42 PM): yeah that wopuld be me all right

Suzisport (2:56:18 PM): you know what would be really bad, is if it were my mom that called
KillAPartyClown2 (2:56:24 PM): no i'm just putting the wedding night thing
KillAPartyClown2 (2:56:28 PM): LOL
Suzisport (2:56:31 PM): LOL can you imagine
KillAPartyClown2 (2:56:36 PM): that would be fucking hillarious
Suzisport (2:56:40 PM): ummmm, mom im kinda busy
KillAPartyClown2 (2:57:10 PM): LMAO
Suzisport (2:57:20 PM): mom- it's important though, will you thaw the steaks out for me?
susan-yeah sure
mom-talk to you later
susan-yep bye
Suzisport (2:57:30 PM): *goes back to bed*
KillAPartyClown2 (2:57:37 PM): lol
Suzisport (2:57:47 PM): benjii- who was that?
susan- my mom
benjii- *laughing his ass off*
KillAPartyClown2 (2:58:04 PM): LOL
Suzisport (2:58:06 PM): benjii- ok now where were we? oh yeah
KillAPartyClown2 (2:58:14 PM): I'm choking on my water stop lol
Suzisport (2:58:19 PM): bwenjii- *gioes back to what he was doing
Suzisport (2:58:31 PM): lol, that's how it would happen
Suzisport (2:58:38 PM): that's exactly how it would happen
Suzisport (2:58:47 PM): LOL ok ok i'll stop

Then we started talking about Nick:

KillAPartyClown2 (3:13:03 PM): Nick's trying to convince me that Tony is a bad influence and I can do a lot better LOL, nick's like my brother...he gets uptight about everything. I'll be like "yeah the only problem with this guy is he doesn't floss enough" and nick will go all "STAY AWAY FROM HIM THAT MEANS TROUBLE!!" LMAO
---------------------------------------------------------
Convo with Nick:
---------------------
Nick hates my away message apparently:

KillAPartyClown2 (2:35:08 PM): brb
nickOMT (2:35:10 PM): ok
nickOMT (2:37:04 PM): what are you doing?

Auto response from KillAPartyClown2 (2:37:04 PM): Hello nickOMT, while you are reading this away message, you're being hacked, please turn off your computer and check it again to find out if your files have been deleted, thank you.

nickOMT (2:37:16 PM): you bitch
nickOMT (2:37:19 PM): lol j/k

We kind of had a gap in the convo....:

KillAPartyClown2 (2:50:15 PM): u there?
nickOMT (2:50:20 PM): yes
nickOMT (2:50:31 PM): what are you doing?
KillAPartyClown2 (2:50:58 PM): playing
nickOMT (2:51:04 PM): playing what?
KillAPartyClown2 (2:51:46 PM): with dolls LOL
nickOMT (2:51:51 PM): lol
nickOMT (2:51:53 PM): oh my
nickOMT (2:53:30 PM): lalalalala
KillAPartyClown2 (2:54:05 PM): lol
KillAPartyClown2 (2:54:09 PM): not that kind of playing
nickOMT (2:54:21 PM): ummm...........?
nickOMT (2:54:29 PM): really now
KillAPartyClown2 (2:54:36 PM): LOL
KillAPartyClown2 (2:54:52 PM): I'm talking with susan about imagining certain men naked
KillAPartyClown2 (2:54:54 PM): LOL!!
nickOMT (2:55:00 PM): ozzy cant fish worth shit
nickOMT (2:55:03 PM): oh my
KillAPartyClown2 (2:55:15 PM): lol
nickOMT (2:55:20 PM): like who?
nickOMT (2:55:26 PM): ewe
KillAPartyClown2 (2:56:46 PM): take a guess nick
KillAPartyClown2 (2:57:01 PM): tom cruise...and a select individual who shall remain nameless
KillAPartyClown2 (2:57:05 PM): unless properly guessed
nickOMT (2:57:08 PM): really now
nickOMT (2:57:22 PM): unless properly guessed lol

Before the Leprachauns attacked:

nickOMT (3:34:57 PM): hey ive lost like 7 lbs haha i didnt even do anything to lose it, it took like less than a week
KillAPartyClown2 (3:36:31 PM): lol
KillAPartyClown2 (3:37:52 PM): OMG I went to put my water bottle on my head and I turned it upside down and it was open...it looks like I've pissed myself!! OMG!!
nickOMT (3:38:21 PM): lol
KillAPartyClown2 (3:43:13 PM): my pants are soaked from that damn water bottle
nickOMT (3:43:17 PM): omg
nickOMT (3:43:22 PM): i read what you put
KillAPartyClown2 (3:43:25 PM): my aunt is gonna walk in and think I pissed in her leather comoputer chair
nickOMT (3:43:26 PM): about what i said
nickOMT (3:43:27 PM): lol
nickOMT (3:43:30 PM): haha
KillAPartyClown2 (3:43:38 PM): she'll probably spear me with toothpicks or something

Well that's about it for now...nothing really worth talking about....

woohoo...

"I'm never gonna hear the words you say" - Good Charlotte

You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.


What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Things To Do In An Elevator
If you liked the Wal-Mart one you'll love this!!
---------------------------------------------------------

1) When there's only one other person in the elvator, tap them
on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile,
and go back for more.

3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the
wrong ones.

4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they
know what floor your on.

5) Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After
a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day
been?"

6) Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then
scream, "That's mine!"

7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8) Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on,
ask if they have an apointment.

9) Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to
play.

10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask
them if they can hear ticking.

11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency
procedures and exits with the passengers.

12) Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay,
don't panic, they open again!"

15) Swat at flies that don't exist.

16) Tell people that you can see their aura.

17) Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.

18) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and
muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

19) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering
inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

20) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the
wall, without getting off.

21) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in
horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

22) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other
passengers.

23) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then
announce, "I have new socks on".

26) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to
the other passnegers, "This is MY personal space!"

Quiet Day
I'm trying to be quiet with my typing while everyone else in the house sleeps. I just couldn't sit still for I'm With Busey tonight...I'll have to watch it some other time on a rerun.

Nothing of any importance has happened today. I tried to call Mina so that we could get the ticket situation straightened out for the Dashboard concert. ::sigh:: that's about it.

These have been a weird couple days for me. I'm struggling to make sense of everything going on in my life right now. The same thoughts keep pushing forward in my mind and I can't shake them...::sigh once more::

I finally sat down to finish Harry Potter #5. I'm pissed about it actually. I was just too tired to finish the last 15 or so pages. I'll read them before I go to sleep. Sad isn't it?

I talked to Dad today, he'll be here on thursday for the golf tournament and then we'll go home. I really miss home. I miss my family, friends, and especially my dog lol. I don't miss the problems that lay waiting for me.

I've been struggling with myself lately about how I should go about handling my broken heart. I'm almost over it now and beginning to look at this situation from the point of view of a friend. As his friend I want to be assured he is ok but the fact that he doesn't want to talk to me (or anybody as he told me the last time I attempted to call) really worries if he is taking care of himself or just making himself and things a lot worse. I wanted to take him out for his birthday but it looks like that won't be happening so I'm not even going to bother buying a card. Why waste my time right? That rant took some turns didn't it? lol

Maybe I should change the title of this journal to "Rantings of a Broken Heart" lol.

I got a message from Benjii!! Hoorah!! That really lifted my spirits. He asked me my house #, I think he may be trying to stalk me. ::dances:: I always wanted a stalker!! ^_^

Well I should go, time to talk to Nick!!

woohoo....

"Just bend the pieces till they fit, like they were made for it. But they weren't meant for this." - Dashboard Confessional

Happy Tuesday
So far uneventful...I'm with Busey is on tonight...Hoorah!

I found this on a random lyrics site, they said it was by dashboard but I was unsure b/c I can't find it anywhere else, but still enjoy:

I Need You
--------------
I don't know why I'm doing this.
I don't see what's so unfixable.
But It's getting harder all the time
To deal
To breathe

This pain in my arm is so much easier
I can't take it in my heart anymore.
I need the scars to remind myself
that I need you.
I need you.

You are the only one who understands.
The only one I want to understand.
If they all knew
It would only be worse.
They judge us; They sneer.
None of them see what we are.
What we could be
And what we can do.

But this pain in my arm is so much easier
I can't take it in my heart anymore.
I need the scars to remind myself
that I need you.
I need you.

I need to stop.(Help me to heal.)
I need to feel better. (Hold my hand)
I need to breathe again. (Keep my head up.)

but most of all
I need you.
I need you.
I need you.

50 Fun Things to Do at Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals
throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to
join.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the
spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

9. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly,
especially in thin aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I
think we've got a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.

11. Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off
and turn the volume up to full blast.

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen
you in so long." etc. See if they play along.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself
loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?!"

15. Repeat #14 in the jewelry department.

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are
taking it for a test drive.

17. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet
behind them. Do this until they leave the store.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store
as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner, look
mesmerized and say, "Wow, magic!"

20. Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and
when they say you didn't buy it there say "Hmmmm....I thought
the customer was always right!"

21. Move "Caution : Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you
will only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other
aisles.

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,
"I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello"
upside down.

29. When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and
say, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between
them yelling "Red Rover."

31. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any
in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples)

32. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale
battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.

33. Take bets on the battle from above.

34. Test the brushes and combs in cosmetics.

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask
the clerk where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as
possible.

36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
Mission Impossible.

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to
your Twinkies."

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: Marco Polo.

43. Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet
section, etc.

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's.

45. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look with
various funnels.

46. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at
something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, drop to
your knees and scream, "No, no, its those voices again."

49. Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.

50. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. Go to
the food court, buy a drink, and explain that you don't get out
much and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

*BONUS*

1. Attempt to do all of the above in the same visit, without
getting kicked out.

2. Try to hold up customers with the toy guns. See how much you
can make.

"i just don't want to be sucked into the world of getting all made up, with make-up, getting my hair done, and perfume." - ktbear 2000

Yes, one of my many great quotes. Susan and I had (well we're having) a really good talk tonight. We're talking about making people think. Shit everytime I talk to Susan I walk away thinking about something she said that was just utterly mind blowing. I think our real genius is hidden within the little things we say, the things we don't even think about before saying them. Our true brilliance doesn't seem to shine until we're in a heartful conversation that means something, even if we don't realize it just then.

It's the little things that matter most in life. Little things like noticing how great he smells and how nice he smiles. I think in the long run we miss out on things that could have really made an impact. It's amazing how all this clarity has hit me like a south-bound train.

I don't know what has sparked this in me. Maybe it's the loss of someone I really loved, or the thought that maybe, Ill be lucky enough to have a second chance.

I rode a bike 16 miles today, and the whole time I thought about nothing. I just lost myself in the music coming from my headphones. Maybe that peace really helped me...I don't know. But what I do know is that I wouldn't have lived my life any other way. I'm glad I beared what I did. And I'm glad I have the emotional scars I carry. If I didn't experience these things I don't know where I would be. But most of all I'm glad I got to experience the greatness that is love. I think that is the one thing that I needed most. And though my heart was shattered, I've been able to pick myself up, with the help of my friends.

I now know what is most important to me in this life: people who love me and the simple things in life.

wow...that was like something off of Oprah. lol, but I think it is the begining of my path back to sanity.

woohoo....

"I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart.
Questions of science, science and progress
Don't speak as loud as my heart.
Tell me you love me, and come back and haunt me,
Oh, when I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing tails
coming back as we are." - Coldplay

I really don't care for them, but for some reason I couldn't get this verse out of my head.

fuck...again...
I really hate people...

So far this weekend I have managed to piss off two people every night...I just need to piss off one more person to fill my quota for Sunday.

Things started off okay...

And then....

Kaboom...

Eh, I'll just have to sleep it off. I have some great ideas for my book and my top-secret project that is known to few.

I bought a notebook today so I think I'll be breaking it in while I down the rest of my junior mints. Yum...brain food that makes you fat...er.

::sigh:: What to do, What to do. My heart and my head are complete opposites right now so I went through the day in a daze...I'm sure I'll figure something out.

So what do you all think?

Here's something for everyone to do:
Do you like the old version of my journal where it was all lyrics and quotes?
- OR -
Do you like the new version where it is lyrics, quotes, and me talking about my boring life and making things as angsty as possilbe?

Post a comment or send me a mental message and I'll figure it out myself.

Maybe someday I'll post my own stuff on here. I'm too insecure for that now.

I've posted way to many times today...I think this is becoming my outlet where I can bitch and not feel bad...shit now I feel bad for anyone who reads this. hmmm...sorry world...

Well...Night all...

woohoo....

"Don't stop looking you're one step closer. Don't stop searching, it's not over." - Good Charlotte

VACTIONS SHOULD BE FUN!!
"Some say that time changes
Best friends can, become strangers
but I don't want that, no not for you
If you just stay with me
we can make it through
so here we are again
same old argument
Now I am wondering if they will ever change
When will you laugh again
Laugh like you did back when
We'd make noise til 3:00 AM
and the neighbors would complain"
- Good Charlotte / Say Anything

A day of confuzzlement
I'm not sure how I feel today...it's wierd.

I heard something from Susan that she heard from someone else that that person heard from someone else which kind of made me happy. Shows there is light at the end of the tunnel....hoorah...

Nothing really to write about today because I don't know how I feel...don't you hate that?

Well then I'm off to rain terror on some poor, unsuspecting group of old people.

woohoo....

"I'm on fire burning at these mysteries" - Switchoot

Another Sunday....
I hate people....

I studied psycology for a year before I realized I hated people and would much rather work with dead ones, so I went into Forensics and Arson.

If I hate people why do so many people like me? Don't get me wrong I have plenty of people who hate me...but too many people like me...creepy.

I think I need to start being mean so I can scare others away and get some time to myself...

I always love being told I'm hated!!

woohoo....

"I know that only God can judge me" - Good Charlotte

Hold On
So tired....

I went to a pool party today with Aaron and I'm soo tired. There was nothing but little kids there, it was like little kid invasion. Some 8 year old shit kept shooting me in the face with this damn squirt gun of his and now my eyes hurt like you wouldn't believe.

After the party I went back to his place and we rented "The Ring". I had never seen it before and he had apparently seen it 5 times and he kept trying to scare me. I ended up scaring him and his Milk Duds went everywhere...it was funny. I didn't get to see the end of the movie. I was pissed. I had to leave right before the end...well maybe some other time.

Mina is pissed at me and I really don't know how I feel about it. She says that I act like I don't want to talk to her anymore. She said that I only tell Susan things and then proceeded to show me our past two online conversations despite my apologies. I dunno if this should bother me or not because apparently I was just her "so-called fucking friend" and she hated me...wow was I going through this friendship under a misconception...huh. I was kind of rude in our conversations by only using one word answers but I was busy so I really couldn't help that. I explianed that but I guess it made no nevermind to her so I'm not going to worry about it...considering I'm her "so-called friend"....I can't get over that. Shows how much I know...

I've got a really bad headache so I'm seriously considering going to bed early today...what day is it anyways....Saturday? That's a funny word...Saturday...say that a couple times....Saturday...Saturday...Saturday...kind of looses it's coolness after a while. Oh well.

I came up with a really cool design for a character, I may try and find someone to draw her for me. That reminds me, need to work on my book. Maybe I'll post a piece of it someday just for some input...I dunno. I'll decide sometime.

I've definately decided to go to bed because I'm just rambling and my friend isn't responding to me online so I think I should sleep.

Night all...

Hey my friend's profile told me to fuck off!! Guess he's not my friend...must have been that fight last night...hmmmm....Wow that's two people in one night...gotta be some kind of record!!

woohoo....

"I'm killing myself from the inside out" - Goo Goo Dolls