poisonedheart
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2007 30 October :: 7.38pm
"If The Brakeman Turns My Way" - Bright Eyes
When panic grips your body and your heart is a hummingbird
Raven thoughts blacken your mind until you're breathing in reverse
All your friends and sedatives mean well but make it worse
Every reassurance just magnifies the doubt
Better find yourself a place to level out
Got a cricket for a conscience always looks the other way
A cocaine soul starts seeming like an empty cabaret
Hey, where have all the dancers gone? Now the music doesn't play
Tried to listen to the river but you couldn't shut your mouth
Better take a little time to level out
I never thought of running
My feet just led the way
Mixed up Signals
Bullet Train
Cars are switched out in the crazy rain
I could meet you any place
If the Brakeman turns my way
All this automatic writing I have tried to understand
From a psychedelic angel who was tugging on my hand
It's an infinite coincidence but it doesn't form a plan
So I'm headed for New England or the Paris of the South
Gonna find myself somewhere to level out
Are your brothels full, Oh Babylon, with merry Middlemen?
Never peer out of their periscopes from those deep opium dens
All this death must need a counterweight always someone born again
First a mother bathes her child then the other way around
The Scales always find a way to level out
I tried to pass for nothing
But my dreams gave me away
Mixed up Signals
Bullet Train
People snuffed out in the brutal rain
I could live to any age
If the Brakeman turns my way
It is an old world it's hard to remember
Like a dime store mystery
I'm a repeat first time offender
Who has rewritten history
Mixed up tea leaves
Phantom Pain
Fuzzy logic in the crazy rain
Getting better every day
If the Brakeman turns my way
Mixed up Signals
Bullet Train
Cars are switched out in the blinding rain
He'll be smiling as he seals my fate
When the Brakeman turns my way
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aerii
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2007 30 October :: 5.58am
this week is going to be so shitty.
1. write personal essay by friday
2. write proposal essay for senior culminating project by friday
3. figure out what to do for senior culminating project
4. finish biome project for neff
5. halloween
6. birthday
7. talk to councilor about senior culminating project & college shit.
8. buy some knives
9. edit my senior pictures and turn them in (SOOOO LATE)
10. figure out senior quote and turn it in
slkdjflsdkjflskdfj
oh well, life goes on.
:D
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poisonedheart
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2007 27 October :: 8.05pm
Well, so closes that chapter of my life I guess, it's just two years down the drain.
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aerii
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2007 24 October :: 5.58am
I am waiting for something to wrong
I am waiting for familiar resolve
I am waiting for another repeat
Another diet fed by crippling defeat
And i am waiting for that sense of relief
I am waiting for you to flee the scene
As if you held in your hand the smoking gun
And on the floor lay the one you said you loved.
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poisonedheart
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2007 21 October :: 9.33pm
Ha, summary of why women suck 99.9% of the time.
A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way.
This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.
5 white |
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aerii
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2007 21 October :: 2.53pm
i hate this.
i'm done.
3 white |
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aerii
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2007 18 October :: 7.51pm
i wish running away from your problems really worked.
why does this have to be so difficult?
1 white |
You should..comment..
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aerii
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2007 17 October :: 6.54pm
i feel sick
anxious sick
sldkfjldkj
i hate people
a lot.
2 white |
You should..comment..
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poisonedheart
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2007 10 October :: 5.37pm
Julia wants me to smoke some salvia with her this weekend, she said she'll buy a gram if she gets the chance, I think I'll just go ahead and try it, I mean, it's legal and has no long term effects, so why the fuck not?
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poisonedheart
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2007 7 October :: 8.13am
So, I'm just the medicine
You take when you're sick
You get well and that's it
I'm put back on the shelf in your mirror
And it isn't exceptional
The course of our fate
So, people love and they hate
And I guess it's just our turn to hate
Yeah, you were just some song I wrote
A poem on a page
A sculpture I made out of clay
Desire was the flame
But now you're more of a basketball
Boys just pass you around
They bounce you hard on the ground and dribble
And then we all get high fives
And you think I'm an asshole now
Well, you're probably right
But at least I'm not blind to the facts
I've been wishing were lies
But still I hope you get everything
That you care to possess
And unbelievable sex with him
Or any one of my friends
But just don't ask about my appetite
I didn't lose it tonight
No, it's been gone half my life
It's just act, I've been eating for you
You should..comment..
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poisonedheart
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2007 6 October :: 10.19am
Ya know, I'd be a completely different person today if I had never joined this website.
I never would've met Lauren.
Never would've been invited to SpokLAN by Lauren.
Never would've become friends with Julius and later Jen at SpokLAN
Never would've become friends with ANYONE from SpokLAN for that matter.
Probably never would've taken Japanese without Jen's influence, meaning I'd have a completely different plan for my future.
So yeah, in the end, this website has changed my life immensely.
You should..comment..
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poisonedheart
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2007 6 October :: 9.42am
This is why I fucking hate getting close to people, all that ever happens is that you get hurt, you should never invest your emotions in anyone but yourself, because they'll just treat your feelings like a toy, and toys always end up broken.
1 white |
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poisonedheart
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2007 6 October :: 8.37am
I see why they call it a broken heart, it actually hurts, it feels like someone just reached in there and squeezed my heart until it popped.
It's just so hard knowing that your biggest reason for waking up in the morning doesn't even seem to give a shit about how her actions make you feel.
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aerii
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2007 3 October :: 6.34pm
(And I know...)
State is not an ocean, not an island, not a road
If I don't know where I come from
How do I know where to go?
It's not where you're from, not where you're at
It's where your going... and I am going home...
To the land of the lost souls
Feeling a loneliness that really only exists in abandoned foster homes
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