-nightsloth-
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2004 11 May :: 6.54pm
I just want you all to know that when I'm old enough for a driver's lisence, I'ma getting a scooter. Like a real one though. With 100 ccs that you need a lisence for. Yeeeeah.
10 white |
You should..comment..
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Twitchy
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::
2004 10 May :: 10.21am
:: Mood: same as last
:: Music: Dumb, Nirvana
well, ran across this one
and every now and then I feel like filling one out
it's like I have some obligation to keep them going or something
plus it's monday morning and I'm pretty fucking bored
and I will delete any I really don't wanna answer
º°* B A S I C | Q U E S T I O N S *°º
[001] Name: Mark
[002] Middle name: Edward (vomits)
[003] Gender: Male
[004] Birthday: July 23rd
[005] Height: 5'8" I think
[006] Hair color: just black with a hint of brown in the light
[007] Eye color: Dark brown
[008] Nationality: Scottish (but not for about 150 years), German (three generations ago I think), with some French
[009] Is your hair long or short: down to my eyes?
[010] Siblings: none
[011] Zodiac sign: Leo
[012] How many languages do you know: Only English, some German and I will lear more
[013] Status: Single
[014] Piercings you have: None
[015] Piercings you want: none
[016] Tattoos you have: None
[017] Tattoos you want: none (ain't I boring)
[018] Today's date: 5/10/04
[019] Time of day: 10:27 AM
º°* S C H O O L *°º
[020] Are you still in school: Yes
[021] Did you drop out: No
[022] Favorite grade: let's wait and see
[023] Least favorite grade: like I said, let's wait and see
[024] Favorite teacher : same as last two
[025] Least favorite teacher: same as last three
[026] Favorite subject: Social Studies
[027] Least favorite subject: Math
[028] Do/did you buy lunch or bring it: I eat lunch?
[029] Play any sports on the school's team: No
[030] Are/were you popular: HELL NO
[031] Most humiliating moment: I repress that stuff
º°* F A V O R I T E *°º
[032] Number: 253
[033] Clothing brand: None
[034] Shoes: my combat boots
[035] Saying: "Life's a giant shit machine but it's not a giant shit"
[036] Tv show: Late Night With Conan O'Brian is pretty funny
[037] Sport: I don't favor any
[038] Vegetable: Carrot
[039] Fruit: Pear
[040] Movie: Equilibrium ... and some others
[041] Magazine: don't read magazines except in waiting rooms
[042] Candy: Crunch or something ... crunchy
[043] Gum: anything
[044] Scent: spring rain
[045] Ice cream flavor: mint
[046] Color: black
[047] Season: Autumn
[048] Holiday: St. Patricks Day
[049] Type of music: Rock (punk, grunge, metal)
[050] Thing in your room: my floor?
[051] Band: Nirvana
[052] Books: Picture of Dorian Gray, His Dark Material Trilogy, Book of Revelations
[053] TV channel: 107 when I can get it
[054] Junk food: donno
[055] Overall food: pizza, buffalo chicken something like that
[056] Shoe brand: ...
[057] Fast food: is subway fast food?
[058] Restaurant: small Mexican restraunts, locally owned Diners
[059] Shape: lot's of squiggly lines
[060] Time of day: Dusk
[061] Country: Ireland
[062] State: Louisiana
[063] Boys name: Diggory or something Irish like
[064] Girls name: Felicity or something rooted in the English tradition
[065] Mall: I ... don't go to malls much, unless Michel drags me along
[066] Car: none
[067] Word: hi
[068] Month: October
[069] Disney character: donno
[070] Scary movie: Nightmare on Elm Street or Halloween (the first ones)
º°* T H I S | T H A T *°º
[071] Rock or rap: Rock
[072] Rock or pop: Rock
[073] Rock or r&b: Rock
[074] Rap or pop: AGH, won't choose
[075] Rap or r&b: no no no
[076] Rap or metal: Metal
[077] Pop or r&b: natta
[078] Pop or metal: Metal
[079] r&b or metal: Metal
[080] Selena or J.lo: Neither
[081] Hot or cold: Cold
[082] Winter or summer: Winter
[083] Spring or fall: Fall
[084] Shakira or Britney: neither
[085] MTV or VH1: MTV
[086] Football or basketball: Basketball
[087] Skiing or snowboarding: Snowboarding
[088] Rollerblading or skateboarding: Skatebording
[089] Black or white: Black
[090] Orange or red: Ornage
[091] Yellow or green: Green
[092] Purple or pink: Purple
[093] Inside or outside: depends on the weather
[094] Weed or alcohol: alcohol
[095] Cell phone or pager: Cell phone
[096] Powerpuff Girls or Charlie's Angels: ...
[097] Scooby doo or dino: ...
[098] Tattoos or piercinqs: neither
[099] Coke or pepsi: Pepsi
[100] Flowers or candy: flowers
[101] Tall or short: Tall
º°* H A V E / W O U L D | Y O U | E V E R *°º
[102] Pictured your crush naked?: No
[103] Actually seen your crush naked: No
[104] Been in love: in the sense that I cared deeply, doesn't mean it had to go anywhere
[105] Cried when someone died: no
[106] Drank alcohol: Yes
[107] Lied: Yes
[108] Eat crap for $1,000,000: No
[109] Steal a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend: No
[110] Lie to the police: might have, ... yeah I think so
[111] Run from the police: No
[112] Lie to your parents: Yes
[113] Walk up to a stranger and kiss them: never have ... I might
[114] Walk out of a restaurant without paying: no, I'm a honset person about finance
[115] Flashed someone: ... not that I remember
[116] Told the person you liked how you felt: heh ... no
[117] Gone to jail or juvi: been there, never ina a cell
[118] Stolen anything: nothing big
[119] Wanted to kick my ass for making this so long: it keeps me busy
[120] Kicked someone's ass: yeah
[121] Broke a beer bottle: Yes
[122] Gotten into a bar, under-aged: ... should try it next time I'm in New Orleans
[123] Wanted someone of the same sex: No
[124] Gone on a road trip: Yes
[125] Gone on vacation without adult supervision: Yes
[126] Been to a concert: Yes ... not a good one, they were all crap
[127] Been to another country: Yes
[128] Talked back to an adult: Yes
[129] Got pulled over: me personally no
[130] Got in a car accident: Yes
[131] Broke a law: Yes
[132] Given money to a homeless person: Yes
[134] Tried to kill yourself: gotten close, but talked myself down alot
[135] Cried to get out of trouble: no
[136] Kissed a friend's brother or sister: no
[137] Kissed a brother or sister's friend: no
[138] Dropped something on the floor that you were cooking and let someone eat it anyways?: oh yeah
º°* P R I V A T E *°º
[139] Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend: No
[140] Do you have a crush: maybe
[141] Do you love anyone right now: In the sense that I care much for them, but it's pleutonic
[142] Have you ever been in love: pleutonically
[143] How many people have you kissed: none
[144] Who was your first kiss: see last answer
[145] How many hearts have you broken: donno, don't think I'm really a heart breaker
[146] How many people broke your heart: ...
[147] Best quote to sum up love: Let's get the shit kicked out of us by this crazy emotion
[148] So what is your bf/gf/crush like: ... good personality, smart, quiet
[149] Do you have a picture of him/her: no
[150] Please post it if you do: ...
[151] Do you have a picture of yourself: Yes
[152] Please post it if you do: maybe if I get a new one
[153] Do you go by looks or personality: Both at times
[154] Ever kiss a friend: no
[155] Are you still friends: ...
[156] Do you smoke: no
[157] Do you smoke weed: no
[158] Crack, heroin, anything else: no
[159] Beer good or beer bad: beer good in amounts
[160] Are you the sissy who drinks wine coolers: no
[161] Do you like smirnoff ice: haven't tried
[162] Prefer beer or liquor: beer
[163] What kind of cigarettes do you smoke: ...
[164] Are you a virgin: yeah
[165] If not, when was the last time you got some: ...
º°* Y O U R | F R I E N D S *°º
[166] Best friend: all of em really, I don't try to singel them out
[167] Known longest: Eric
[168] Wish you talked to more: Paul
[169] Wish you saw more: Michel
[170] How many friends do you think you have: donno
[171] Who drives you insane after a while: Saiki and Josh
[172] Who can you stay around forever and never get sick of: not forever ...
[173] Who's the friend you fight with most: actual physical fighting ... Josh, otherwise not much with anyone
[174] Craziest: Morgan
[175] Loudest: donno
[176] Shyest: Tierney
[177] Best hair: Mercades
[178] Can always make you laugh: ... I don't laugh much do I?
[179] Best eyes: ...
[180] Best body: not gonna say
[181] Most athletic: Saiki
[182] Most impatient: donno
[183] Shortest: Eric
[184] Tallest: Paul
[185] Talented: donno
[186] Best singer: no one ever sings around me
[187] Skinniest: Mandy
[188] Nicest: Pat
[189] Best personality: I have twisted views of good personality ... Pat
[190] Biggest drug user: John I guess
[191] Makes you laugh the most: I don't laugh much
[192] Makes you smile: Tori, Logan, Mandy
[193] Gives you a funny feeling when you see them: ?
[194] Easier to talk to: boys or girls: Girls
º°* P R E F S *°º
[195] Pepsi/Coke: Pepsi
[196] Cats/Dogs: dogs
[197] Singing/Dancing: singing ... badly
[198] Sleep/No sleep: sleep
[199] Math/English: english
[200] Internet/Phone: internet
[201] Eminem/50 Cent: neither
[202] Chocolate/Vanilla: vanilla
[203] Snow/Sun: Snow
[204] Love/Hate: Love
[205] Ketchup/Mustard: both
[206] Short/Tall: Tall
[207] School/Home: neither ... Manito?
[208] Shower/Bath: shower
[209] Gamecube/Xbox: ... PS2?
[210] Christmas/Easter: Christmas
[211] Drugs/No drugs: No drugs for me
[212] Dark/Light: Dark
[213] Night/Day: Night
[214] Ocean/Pool: Ocean
º°* W H A T | D I D | Y O U | D O *°º
[215] Last birthday: walked around with Eric, Tori and Morgan then went to dinner and a movie with Michel
[216] Yesterday: did some yard work, wrote a bit, watched a movie
[217] Last weekend: same as last
[218] Christmas: sat around with Baolu, Peter and a fake tree
[219] Thanksgiving: went to Seattle, Helen ... hope she's doin alright
[220] New year's: went into Spokane, Mo was gonna play at first night but Alex got sick so just stayed in the hotel with the speakers and stuff, ordered some food and had some sparkeling wine
[221] Halloween: sat around, watched a horror movie
[222] Easter: Mo was over, he cooked an omlet
[223] Valentine's day: created this journal and ate chocolate
º°* T H E | L A S T *°º
[224] Thing you ate: Brownie and hard boiled egg
[225] Thing you drank: water
[226] Thing you wore: bathrobe and boxers
[227] Thing you said to someone: "I hope that was on sale ... because we should not blow money on lepord prints"
[228] Thing you got pierced/tattooed: none
[229] Person you saw: Mo and mum
[230] Person you hugged: .... long while, one of my friends I guess
[231] Thing that made you cry: ... can't remember
[232] Person you talked to: Mandy
[233] Person you fucked: hahaha
[234] Person you poked: I don't poke
[235] Person you instant messaged: Mandy
[236] Person you laughed with: Eric?
º°* N O W *°º
[237] What are you eating: nothin
[238] What are you drinking: notta
[239] What are you wearing: boxers and a t shirt
[240] Any shoes on: barefoot
[241] Hair: half of it seems to be standing up, half in my eyes
[242] Listening to: Smashing Pumpkins by now
[243] Talking to anyone: Mandy went away
[244] Are you pissed I made this so long: keeps me busy
º°* O P I N I O N S *°º
[245] What do you think... about pop music: It can fuck itself in hell
[246] About boy bands: ditto
[247] About flag burning: fine with me
[248] Of the war on terrorists: fuck Bush
[249] About suicide: something that is around and is kinda sad ... but is
[250] About abortion: their choice
[251] Where do you think you'll be in 10 years: either in College, or in New York, somewhereabouts
[252] Who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: Eric, Michel, Pat
º°* Y E S | N O *°º
[253] Are you a vegetarian: no
[254] Do you like cows: to eat
[255] Are you a bitch: bastard might be a better term
[256] Are you artistic: I write
[257] Do you write poetry: not much
[258] Are you a fast runner: faster than quite a few people, you wouldn''t guess by looking at me
[259] Can you ski: No
[260] Are you British: heh, no, but sometimes when I mumbel I sound like it
[261] Are you straight: far as I know
[262] Are you stupid: hell yah
[263] Are you fat: I got some fat on me, but got some muscle too
[264] Are you short: medium
[265] Are you tall: medium
[266] Do you own a hot pink shirt: no
[267] How about orange pants? no
[268] Are you evil: on occasion
[269] Is Britney a whore: yeah
[270] Am I annoying you: not yet
[271] Are you secretly from another planet: maybe
[272] Did you ever touch someone else's private parts: no ... now you're annoying me
º°* F I N A L | Q U E S T I O N S *°º
[283] I want: for them to be happy
[284] I wish: things could be right
[285] I love: my friends
[286] I miss: ... I don't know ... alot
[287] I fear: alienation
[288] I hear: Meat Puppets
[289] I wonder: what I can do
[290] How do you know its love?: how do I?
[291] If you could be any kids character, who would you be: ?
[292] If you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would you eat: pizza
[293] Do you remember any of your dreams: the fucked up ones
[294] Do you dream in color or black and white: color
[295] Do you admit when you need help with a problem: rarely
[296] Can people read you like a book: I can't read me
[297] What's your biggest fear: never finding equilibrium
[298] Do you talk a lot: sometimes
[299] Are you afraid of clowns: no
[300] Do you like spiders: no
[301] How about grape kool-aid: no
[302] Can you drive: is this a matter of can I or can I legally?
[303] Are you spoiled: not really, by choice
[304] Are you anti-social: alot
[305] Do you see dumb people: oh yes
[306] Do you see dead people: ... in the morgue
[307] Any last words: I think I'm gonna take a shower now
[308] Now that this is over, what are you going to do: shower and go to Spokane
You should..comment..
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Twitchy
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2004 10 May :: 10.19am
:: Mood: blurry and blah and ... sick
:: Music: Floyd the Barber, Nirvana
I had a very fucked up dream last night
I remember it ended with blake drilling a hole in my shoulder to send the lobster people back to hell
so what the hell did I eat to get that?
I feel sick and tired and in general like shit
At least I got today off
But I gotta go down to Spokane today
Maybe I'll get lunch someplace nice.... instead of eatin out of a can all day
Sounds nice ... ok, Mark, you'll do that
2 white |
You should..comment..
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Twitchy
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2004 9 May :: 9.16am
:: Mood: weird
:: Music: State of Grace/ Steve Via
Things have been weird for me
Kinda good ... but define good
Nothing I've hoped for has worked out but smaller things that have been bothering me have been working themselves out
I took a look back the other day, looked back a year ago when we were just making a bid on this house, we were still in the apartment, I had just met Mo andd gone up to Chewelah and Baolu adn't met my father yet
I looked back and thought about how alone, depressed and disgruntled I was
Then I went forward a year and realized that sometime around the end of January things started to go differently
Though I'm still the guy in the corner wearing all black the corner's gotten really crowded and many people passing by stop to look into the shadows
So I've got a few questions about this
Why now, why is my life seeming to go differently now?
Who am I now? I'm not the same person I was a couple years ago, I've changed a hell of alot and I barely notice
And if my karma has finally gotten up off its ass why is nothing improving in my life that I actually want to see improve?
It's weird
it's just not right
2 white |
You should..comment..
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Twitchy
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2004 1 May :: 9.29pm
:: Mood: earthy and content
:: Music: churp of some crickets in the background
I like to garden and that time of year is upon me, oh sweet sweet time
And it's the first planting time we've had in the new house so there's mcuh to be done
The earth is really gritty and clay like, not good for growing, plus the bastards before us put down alot of bark and gravel so I've had to put down alot of top soil
excuse the rant but I really enjoy gardening, I like getting down in the dirt and just ... digging into the earth and replacing the hard and arid soil with some nice plants (violets, tulips, roses, snap dragons, cherry trees, burning bushes, marigolds, bleeding hearts, mapels, ivy, cosmos, wildflowers, I just really enjoy it all) I like the gritty down to earth feel of it, really just the beautification and meticulious planning, and the work is actually amusing, and the product is great
gardening is my thing I guess, I'm ok at it, it's kinda expensive but it's what I do ... and it gives me some energy to deal with everything
I've got some great plans for the new place, down near the woodshed I'm thinkin of settin up some kinda wildflower garden to attract wildlife and ... I'm gonna have a good long lot of work in front of me, I'm hyped up about it ... I feel content in my garden
5 white |
You should..comment..
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Twitchy
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2004 30 April :: 11.50am
:: Mood: ughsplatz ... (kinda like your brain turned to jel
:: Music: For Martha, Smashing Pumpkins
Who and what the hell am I again
I want to go over some things that have been said about me, words I've caught and have been told about myself.
off his rocker, very interesting, shy, depressed, peachy, I don't know him to well, kinda sounds weird, scary, freakish, morbid, deranged, disturbed, smart, cool, weird, quiet, sweet, gloomy, different, nice, funny
I gotta ask ... who am I?
so many of these descriptions cannot coincide with eachoter, I'm a walking oxymoron ...
I mean, I am all these things in some peoples minds, and I don't know what I think about myself, so am I all this? am I less or more?
Am I merely that image of me which is displayed form the minds of others?
My thoughts and feelings are controled by the variable of others ... so why not my very being?
I am not what I make of myself, I am what people make of me ... and being me, that's alot to be ... it's draining and it's weird ... because I am me as they know me, but I am not the me that I don't know thereof, if that made any sense
I could go on and on about this ... page after page, but let's put it short
I don't know who the hell I am, what the hell I am ... I don't know me
no one knows me, there is no consensus on me, not even amoung strangers or frieds, so if I do not create me and others have not created me in full ... what am I?
if you wanna hear me rant more, just post I guess, I can rant for a long time, but I'm cutting myself off here and now
You should..comment..
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Twitchy
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2004 30 April :: 8.34pm
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: Going Under, Evanescence
I got my DSL up in Chawela, yay.
It's been a shitty week though, and I'm glad to be up here in Chawela, isolated, doing yard work and just going around randomly ... good place
I hope the weekend is long, I'm just running out of energy ... god, I'm getting drained more and more each week ...
I hope I can last
You should..comment..
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-nightsloth-
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2004 30 April :: 9.31pm
:: Music: some song on the radio
uhhhhh.
wow. i really don't have any philosiphies to post. nothing. nothing to whine about or criticize.I'm just out of idears right now. (yes I meant to put the "r" there.) . . . lyrics? nah I'ma too lazy.bumbum bum be dee dee dodoodop bo bop bope be beep beeep boo. beedlybeeedlybeedlybeedlybeedly bee.
Beasty-beast roast fat jiggle slug. POOF!
nye heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.
You should..comment..
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Twitchy
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2004 27 April :: 3.53pm
:: Mood: blurry ... again
:: Music: the sweet sound of the beep of a new bit of hardware
well I got my wireless up and running again, so I'm back
this old things gonna die soon, but I'll end up spending a hell of alot of money on it while it's alive
that's beside the point, I've seen this in alot of journals, so I figured I'd bite the bullet and post it
i am - here ... now ... what more can I say?
i see - what I need to
i find - whatever I need to find
i want - to help, myself and others
i wish - I could help, but I really can do no more than I do
i hate - most people, except for a few who know who they are, but I'm not to fond of myself
i miss - my own hell, it was a bad place, but one I knew well, and I got uprooted suddenly
i fear - emotion, especially love, myself
i feel - very little
i hear - now, some music, evanescence I think
i smell - incense with a slight hint of lizard crap
i crave - meaning ... answers, but most of all ... nothing
i search - anything I can find
i wonder - aimlessly as a cameo
i care - about a few people, very much
i always - will care, forever
i am not - what they all make of me
i believe - in randomness, letting the tide carry me as it will
i cringe - at the sight of me
i dance - if the right person tells me to
i sing - like a subwoofer when I'm alone
i cry - internally only
i do not always - see
i succeed - in ways I don't care about
i fail - in everything I care about
i fight - for others happiness
i write - whatever comes out of my hand and head
i give - anything I can
i won - nothing
i lose - anything I hold dear
i never - want you to have to cry
i confuse - everything and everyone
i listen - to very few
i can usually be found - in my basement, back yard, internet
i hope - for your happiness
i expect - nothing
i need - you to be happy
i think - of others, of you
1 white |
You should..comment..
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Twitchy
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2004 26 April :: 8.51pm
:: Mood: It's alla blur
:: Music: Dazed and Confused, Led Zeppelin
I'm slipping
I'm going into one of my lapses
I don't know what caused it, but here I go
I'll sink down into a state of surreal blur
Everything passing by ... differently
Everything will seem weird and crisp and I'll feel like I'm wandering through a deep mist
I'll snap out of it, but for now I'm slipping in
Sorry for any weird things I may say or so, by weird, I mean weird for me
I'm just feeling blury
Agh
You should..comment..
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Wasabi
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2004 25 April :: 6.01pm
dont turn around, i'm sick and i'm tired of your face
4 white |
You should..comment..
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Twitchy
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2004 25 April :: 12.21pm
:: Mood: right about now I need to be wasted, but I'm not
:: Music: Hello, Evanescence
It's been a long day
Cyler's grandmum
The things that were said last night between everyone
It's just really hit me harder than it should have yesterday
I've got alot to sort through in my own mind before I say anything else
I need some time to try and read through some very thick layers in my mind
4 white |
You should..comment..
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Twitchy
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::
2004 24 April :: 9.24pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: Leader of Men, Nickelback
Mandy wanted me to put in something about this
tiny ears .... really tiny ears
good person though, really good to talk to
Kinda jumpy and uppity, but a good person none the less
what else can I say
good person, seems to not hate me, that's good
hey, keep up being you, you're a good person, good to talk to, good sense of humor and ... goodly hyper
4 white |
You should..comment..
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-nightsloth-
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2004 23 April :: 6.45pm
hmmm. hm hmmm hmmmm. COW FETUS.
. . .
ginkumphats!
jackalackalack!
quetsunakala!
balmafula!
basalong!
POSSUM!!
errrmmmm. yeah. getting ready to go on a camping thingy with my friend. . . .
ZILCHPUSS!
You should..comment..
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Twitchy
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2004 21 April :: 5.03pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: Rejected, Rancid
I don't know anymore
My lif eis moving in a different direction lately. It's different then even a year ago, or half a year ago ... in fact everything started to change the day of my first post. That's when everything started to get ... better is that the word for it? Actually I guess it all started one day when I was in a good mood about a year ago, but nothing changed for about a year ... now everythings actually moving. I'm no longer stagnent and alone, rotting with my thoughts and slowly killing myself off mentally. I look different, I feel different, I think different. EVerything's hhappened so fast, people taking an interest, no longer alienating me ... everything's just moving really ... blah.
It's all just confusing that my life is changing and maybe I can't keep up with it ... by summer I think life will be a completely different place for me than it was at New Years .... we'll see I guess, we'll see, it's all in the future and the future holds news for me, so onward ho into the great abyss.
1 white |
You should..comment..
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