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-nightsloth-
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2004 20 April :: 10.46pm
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(Peter Griffin laugh!) Nye heh heh heh heh heh!
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-nightsloth-
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2004 20 April :: 10.39pm
http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/world.htm
go to that page. It's hilarious. It's about the funniest thing I've ever seen.
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Twitchy
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2004 18 April :: 6.39pm
:: Mood: depressed/sick/ughsplatz/tired
:: Music: Low Man's Lyric, Metallica
God I must not look real good right now
I'm sick
I'm twitching like mad
I'm depressed ... very depressed
I'm tired, just worn out
I feel like I'm gonna vomit
My hair's a mess, all in my eyes and I look really green
Not to mention I never look good to start with
I'm gonna guess that right now I look, feel and sound like a depressed and drunk hobo
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Twitchy
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2004 18 April :: 9.27am
:: Mood: uncomfortable
:: Music: Welcome To The Jungle/ Guns N' Roses
My head feels like the inside has been turned to jelly which is sloshing around my skull and had a nail driven through it which is chipping away at the front
I really hate myself right now
I really really hate myself right now
I feel like shit
I really want last night to ... have gone bette ... and for me to have done better
I could have helped better .... but I had to go and be a jackass
I really feel like shit
I really really feel like shit
And I hate myself right now
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-nightsloth-
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2004 18 April :: 11.17am
:: Music: Smashmouth, errmm Track two on my CD
la la laaaalalalalalaaa
Well it's morning, and I'm in too much of a ggod mood to actually give you words of ineffable wisdom. So I'll post some lyrics.
Green Day, Stuck With Me
I'm not part of your elite,
I'm just alright
Class structures waving colors
Bleeding from my throat
Not subservient to you I'm just alright
Down Classed by the powers that be
Give me loss of hope
Cast out. . . buried in a hole
Struck down . . . forcing me to fall
Destroyed. . . giving up the fight
I know I'm not allright
What's my price and will you pay it
If it's alright?
Take it down from my dignity
Waste it until its dead
Throw back in the gutter
'Cause it's alright
Find another pleasure fucker
Drag them down to hell
You should..comment..
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Twitchy
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2004 18 April :: 12.27am
:: Mood: distressed
:: Music: Where It's At, Beck
I need to meditate
I need some tea
I need to burn some incense
I need sleep
I'm tired and hurt and ... goddamn
I ffel like shit and I'm sorry for everything I had to do
But I'm background, a cameo, I did what I had to, right?
I tried my best to do what I though I could
And now I feel hated, I feel like shit and I need a drink, something stronger than tea would be nice ...
I'm so sorry
I'm so very sorry and I cannot stress that enough
But I don't always have answers
I can't always help ... sometime we help ourselves ... and I hate myself for saying that just now
I really need a drink, really badly
I'm not made of stone ... I'm not made of stone
And I'm sorry and I feel like shit ... I'm not made of stone
I'm not made of stone, right now I'm made of crap
You should..comment..
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Twitchy
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2004 15 April :: 9.32pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: none
I found this on Mandy's journal
Sounded kinda interesting
NO! Stupid American Idol. That show is for retards. They took over my Tru Calling..nooo..anywho..
I want everyone who reads this to ask me 3 questions. Anything you want. Then go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends (including myself) to ask you anything
so go ahead, take a shot
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-nightsloth-
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2004 15 April :: 10.33pm
Let's copy Wasabi.
Ask me three questions. I've got three answers. And I'll ask myself one question, just for the hell of it.
If you were any item, what would you be?
A high-powered gatling gun. With a floral pait job.
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Twitchy
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2004 14 April :: 5.07pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: Lake of Fire from Comin' Down, Meat Puppets
Another Day
I always get back from school feeling like crap
I go there and I'm ... just background
I'm isolated, very few people even care what happens to me
I am abshed and insulted and riddiclued and insulted in many forms. Called a fag, steryotyped as a goth, persecuted for religious beliefs, just plain hated, called a moron, or just hated because I'm quiet and alienated
It's all their fault ... they're the ones who turned me away ... they're the people who never really accepted me and now they constantly grow more hatred for me because of my furthering alienation
In short, most poeple have forced me into being alone, in hiding, into being a shut in, and every day they all hate me a little more for being alone, then the just feel the need to hate me, fear me ....
It's a vicious cycle and I don't really see where it started, how it works or how it will end ... but it's there
Thing is that I don't care what they think, it's just that all my life I've been in the firing line of hate and alienation and so I've been taught that I am what they say I am
I have come to believe everything they say about me ... I hate that I hate myself for no better reason than that everyone else seems to have a problem with who I am
All I want is not to feel that, and for them to jsut leave me be ... not to come home all alone with a throbing headache form six and a half hours of hell ... to just be able to sit down and think "wow, that was a decent day"
it's to much for me to ask I know, if I cannot help myself how can anyone help me?
to those who care, Tori, Kalie, Cyler ... thank you ... thank you so very much
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Twitchy
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2004 11 April :: 6.20pm
:: Mood: weird
:: Music: nothing but the silent hum of the computer and a cricket chirping in the reverberating halls of the
words
I haven't been able to find the words for what's been going on lately
So ... how'd this happen? Everyine found my comment through two anonymous comments and that's fine ... just I don't know
So here I am ... gettin ready to go back to school and to face all that
So many things have managed to change through this vacation ... and there are so many things I need to say
I want to help them both out, ... I mean, my life is better than it usually is ... but I'm not happy
Because they're not happy ... I'll be happy once they're all happy
All I want to do is help them, they've all helped me so much, all I can do is repay the favor and always be there
I smell like wood smoke ... I need to shave .... and I have some work to do, I should do that before tomarrow
I haven't been able to find the words to explaine what's in my head and I still can't ... now on into the tomarrow
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-nightsloth-
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2004 10 April :: 7.07pm
Time to spill my guts.
Well get a mop for the intestines and get ready to get confused.
I hate them. I hate them all. My parents, my sisters freinds, everyone in my school. And part of it was bad luck, in a way. A series of the most unfortunate events that taught me how life really works. And then the other part was Lindsey. No, I wont tell you, because it's WAY too pitiful. So pitiful it makes me want to slam my fucking head into my desk so many times my ears bleed. And then maybe I'll get brain damage. Become a retard and be ohhh so blissfully happy chewing my applesauce. Becaus there's one thing I've been taught over the last year. Ignorace is bliss. I'd heard it so many times before, and now I realize that those three words are perhaps the most ingenious I've ever heard. And now here I sit. Preparing to go back to hell and cover up all my hurting inside by acting wierd. I wear a mask in school. A big one. And it used to be the other way around. Wearing the mask in front of the one person I can relate to just a little, or now at least, and being bubbly happy without having to try at school.Yeah, and maybe some of you would want to know who that one person is? It's Paul. And that seems pathetic to me. My whole life structure seem pathetic to me. Because it is. I'm pathetic. Ohhh sooooo pathetic. But Not ignorant. I'm intelligent. And I probably spelled intelligent wrong, and that's the pathetic part. *sigh* Whatever. I can't type for much longer. So whatever. We're all pathetic. There are some of us that realize it. And do you know what we do? We sit back, listen to emo, and get lost in the music, let it make us forget about how much everything in general just sucks. Whatever. t-t-t-t-t-t-thats all folks.might as well read my journal now. All of it. From my very first entry to this one. Because I'm not posting again, and this'll all go away marc 8th. Bu-Bye
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Twitchy
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2004 8 April :: 8.32am
:: Mood: hungry
:: Music: You Can't Put Your Arms Around A Memory, Guns N' Roses
my break
has consisted of taking care of Eric's house
sitting downstairs and reading, writing and watching the occasional movie
And oh yeah lots of music
I haven't shaved in a week
And I haven't see any of my friends in about a week
And I've barely spoken a word in the past five days
And all there is to eat in this house is .... canned chili, canned clam chowder (two cans of each) and top ramen (about five packs)
I can either make that last for a few more days
Or I can burn myslef by going out into the sun (hisses)
I think I'll make it last
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Twitchy
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2004 7 April :: 8.49pm
:: Mood: Really Feeling Something I Can't Place
:: Music: Disarm
You Make Me Feel
You ... I owe it all to you
You bring me the closest to tears I have ever been
You make me want to feel
You make me want to help
You make me want to do everything
You have done so much for me
And I hope I can return the favor
I'm almost crying right now ... I'm not but I'm pretty damn near
God ... you're there
You're strong
You're great
I don't wanna see you fall
I don't wanna see you in pain
I just wanna see you happy
How do you have such an effect on us all?
It's because you're you
Some feel this way and some feel that way but I know that I for one and many others want to help you, we never want to see you hurt and we would gladly die for you
Just remember that we are always here
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Twitchy
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2004 7 April :: 5.34pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: Disarm, The Smashing Pumpkins
Another Day
It seems like on vacation I;m either sick or working
That's one reason I don't like em
I hate the isolation too but that's not a far stretch from my normal life anyway
Only really good part is the extra sleep
That's the only reason my eyes aren't bloodshot all year round
I need to relax, kinda hard when I'm sick, but I mean I wrote a novella in three days ... and when I finally get to relax ... I get sick
Maybe I'll call someone up and take some more of Eric's music
I got myself an Irish Gaelic to English and visa versa program ... to work on the novella
problem is it's hard to translate since I don't know the grammatical structure of the language (position of words in sentence ect.) I'll need to study that
what I do know is that they have no past tense or halping verbs
maith slán mo aos
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