my unabridged birthday list. :]
1. a digital camera
2. american hi-fi cd
3. a band hoodie ( something corporate or mae or plain white t's)
4. the will & grace dvds
5. the sex and the city dvds
6. the hot pink and orange roo's ( the sprint model )
7. the plain white t's "i <3 you" tee shirt
8. the something corporate yellow movers tee
9. the yellowcard cd's
10. outkast cd
11. the skinny strap reefs with the pink thong part & black bottom
12. a new dvd player
13. a cute tote bag --- the llbean ones with personalized cursive print are cute.. and theres this one up in the juniors section at burdines thats roxy and its tan with brown hawaiin flowers on it <33
14. a new ski jacket
15. the REAL finding nemo dvd . lol
16. a guitar
17. ashton kutcher
18. liz's daddys chocolate... mmmmmm
19. godiva caramel.. ::mental orgasm::

although today school sucked cuza econ... tonight was really good. at youth group the girls n guys got split up and we had a guest speaker on saving yourself and love and stuff like that. after hearing her talking and reading some of those scriptures it completely turned me around, for the better. i thought i was missing some big thing not having a boyfriend but i guess in the long run its for the better. God's sparing me from the heartache he knows im gonna have because thats the way i am, i get too attached. he knows im not mentally ready to have a serious relationship that i can rely on and not depend on. and after reading a scripture on love i really saw that people do over use it. and according to what love really is, i may or may have not had that with emy. maybe a little at the very beginning, but it wasnt there all the way through. i loved him , because nothing else could explain the way i felt about him, and maybe he loved me, but we werent in love. it wasnt what its said to be in the bible. "Love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres." Corinthians 13:4-8
by reading that, i knew right away that thats not what i had. and that its better that i let go. and that I should have listened to God when i asked him if it was meant to be and i got the message that it wasnt. but i kept going and i kept getting hurt. but now i know its not right, and i guess i can move on with more wisdom.
yeizi drove me home, and we had a really good conversation on the way. i never really opened up like that about my religios situation and my family except maybe to andrea.but talking to yeizi felt like it really helped, and it felt really good to let it all out and have someone in the path of God telling me that what i was feeling was perfectly fine. it was so reassuring. because all i get from my mom is lecturing on how much of a sin it is to change your religion. but if i never was that to begin with, then there is no changing. and its a lot more sinful to be a religion and not believe it than to be one that your mom doesnt approve of and find belief in it. so it was really good. i love yeizi <3
i just want to thank you andrea for starting to take me to church with you and youth group once in a while during these past few years cause it opened me up. a lot. and i feel a lot better about myself. <3 thanks

and happy early birthday cause ill be missing you tomorrow. i =sick :[

best freaking night of my life.
tickets: 20$
t-shirts: 15 $ a pop
almost dying in a mosh pit during rx bandits & chipping a tooth rocking to something corporate: priceless. :-D
tonight was effing amazing. it was seriously THE best show ive ever been to. the guy from days away was so freaking stoned lmao. mae did an acoustic set cause half the band was sick. dave = sexy beast. whoooo! rx bandits. we can ALL agree that was the most interesting part of the night. we were down in the pit in the teeny tiny culture room and all those hard rockers started a mosh pit right behind us. lost my shoes a few times. a few of us fell down. then we just gave in and me n kat joined right in rockin along. it was fucking awesome. if i didnt have flipflops on man i woulda been all over the place. <3 finally got out after a half hour or so and went up and hung out near taylor a little then went back down... worked our way to the front. waited and waited for something corporate. got really impatient. but man, they were SO worth it. they are the most amazing band. andrew has an incredible voice. i fell in love <3. he was jumpin up n down on his piano keys man that hooootttie! they played EFFING KONSTANTINE maaaaaan i love them for that. they are the freaking best band ever. konstantine, straw dog, I KISSED A DRUNK GIRL, if you see jordan, RUTHLESS, 21 and invincible, I WOKE UP IN A CAR <3<3 poughkeepsie baby <3<3 , PUNK ROCK PRINCESS, hurricane, fall, globes and maps, not what it seems, soace, only ashes, miss america, they were amazing. me and kat we're getting all psyched for bake sale. were gonna freaking see them again. AND BY GOLY WE'RE GONNA MOSH LIKE CRAZY ASS MOFO'S !!!!!!!!!! HEEEEEEEEELLL YEAH LOOK OUT BAKE SALE HERE WE COME !! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

he sent the box home with my brother last night.
variety of stuff. some being old letters.
there were sonnets.
and our ring.
:-/

good/bad day
school was alright. yearbook was fun cause ms rowles wasnt there. <3. shes the devil. french & spanish & chem were tolerable. valerie told me at lunch today that todays her last day at atl. i was so sad ! i started to cry in chem . im gonna miss you so much girl ! .... i retook my yearbook pictures.. hoping theyre better this time lol. i was told that this is whats happening with economics.
somehow mr epstein found out a test was taken home and answers were given and hes making every class take the test over. but those classes who he "thought were cheating" have to take a new test and the others get to take the one we already took. again. after he went over the answers with each class after we took it. thats effing not fair. its one thing to give everyone a day advance notice, and make everyone take a new test, but to spring it on us like this, and let one class fucking get an automatic 100 on all their tests cause he told us all the answers ?? thats fucking bullshit. i may have wrong information but if thats it then im fucking going to the IBO and complaining to mr youngman cause thats not fair. hes gonna make our test harder and i didnt cheat, and the other class that supposedly didnt cheat gets to get automatic a's ?? thats bs. and you people better fucking care and come with me to the IBO cause thats wrong.
on a lighter note, lol
lauren and i went home with andrea today... to make our HH(r)N shirts !!! lol. it was a lot of fun. theyre soooo cute. if andrea didnt fuck em all up after i left. lol. funny stuff. then mommy got me at like 7 and i did my econ and now i just have math. so ... tomorrows movie night at my house.. and sat i go byebye with everyone !!!!
<3 love you

::sigh::
:-)

<3

whooohooooooo!
wowzers. today = funny. mix match day.
my outfit consisted of: a bright blue halter top, with a black and white polka dotted dress over it, with a bright orange tank top over that, with a striped button down sheer shirt over that, with coca cola pajama pants rolled up to my shins, with a pink/red/white striped toe sock and a soccer sandal on one foot, and a string of pearl beads tied around my ankle with a paul frank flip flop on the other foot. and a "CREATIVITY RULES" OM pin on my shirt and a tacky necklace and earings and bracelets and my flashing ring... THE GOLD SNAKE BELT, and half my hair in a pig tail with a minnie hair tie, and the other half completely braided. hot stuff eh?
i got at least like 50 complements on it :-D apparently it was a success. other people dressed up too. so i felt ok lol. i duno, it was a funny overall day. then i had to go to the dentist like that. lol. dr radus jaw dropped open when he saw me.. and was like what the hell is wrong with you... but all the technicians liked it ! so.. yeah. lol. funny. i liked. my little adam got all dressed up too.. he looked so adorable with those plaid shorts and the mcdonalds suspenders and his bow tie.. haha. good stuff. g2g do stuff... later gater

homecoming week here i come !
haha. tomorrow will be funny. i guarantee it. im just scared that this is all an illusion and i dress up all weird a week to early or something. i hope i dont chicken out last minute tomorrow morning. cause my outfit is definately kick-ass. lol.
sooo weekend synopsis.
friday went shopping with the girls. got some cute stuff. did twin day shirts after at liz's and natalia came too !! so it was us n rachie and we had lotsa fun baby... natalia + me like stripping eachother . like WHOA. lol. fun stuff man. saturday was a tan at the pool day and lazy procrastination day. went to the radu's party later.. which started out really shitty and disappointing.. liz & bryan attempted to entertain the pissed off christini. made it a little better. then it got a lot better. :) . im glad i went. and im glad he found me. today.... was hw day. and went to liz's house again. katherine & amy came too and we made more shirts for thursday. and planned out tomorrows outfits. cameras are a must. lol.
welllllll gonna go now. maybe do some psat prep. maybe not. probly not. later doods !