Fearthainn
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2005 12 July :: 11.54pm
:: Mood: artistic
:: Music: Anthrax, "Safe Home."
I've been down this road once or twice before,
through the open door;
I come falling through it.
There's a sign post up ahead,
like a watershed,
and it opens my eyes.
Ways.. ways, for me to begin;
to be born again.
..and knowing for the first time.
Ways.. ways, all so differently
shine for me to see
..the better man that I am.
I've been places in my head..
behind me worse than what's ahead.
And on my path, just like a dream,
takes me from the in-between.
From out of nowhere, you came strong as stone
and now I'll never have to be alone.
What it is I know:
You have always been my safe home.
I walk, I run.. I burn out into you.
You have always been my safe home.
My whole world has moved on...
I know what I am, and I'll always be.
Your reality
is better than I could dream.
All my fears turn from black to white,
and I'd stand and fight
the whole world for you.
Faith.. faith and destiny;
I never did believe.
..my only god is love and -
Faith.. faith, what I see in you,
and I can hold it true;
..like a weight in my hand.
I've been places in my head..
behind me worse than what's ahead.
And on my path, just like a dream,
takes me from the in-between.
From out of nowhere, you came strong as stone
and now I'll never have to be alone.
What it is I know:
You have always been my safe home.
Pictures..
Read more..
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fearthainn
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2005 12 July :: 10.07pm
:: Mood: restless
:: Music: The Misfits - Ballroom Blitz
"Oh yeah, it was like lightning, everybody was frightening"
This song reminds me of when I was with my mom and Carl, we were in the car and this song came on and my mom went insane and was about swerving off the road 'cause she was dancing.
Hm. Well, this week so far I've went to the zoo with Carl, which was awesome! I have a ton of pictures from that, I also took several more yesterday. I'm planning on posting a few of those once I get some help from Sye.. I've tried and they won't show up. :/
I'll edit later with those.
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fearthainn
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2005 10 July :: 12.27pm
:: Mood: giddy
:: Music: Aerosmith - Walk this way
Three words..
ZOO WITH CARL!
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fearthainn
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2005 9 July :: 6.41pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Marilyn Manson - Ka-boom Ka-boom
Today has been rather uneventful.. I was supposed to do something, however plans got ruined, and I'm stuck at home. It's not so bad, though.
I've been listening to Marilyn Manson all day.. I'm not sure why, I'm just in the mood I guess. Oh, my mom just told me that my sister is supposed to be calling back and we might be doing something.. should be cool, but she isn't a reliable person so I won't get my hopes up.
I'm hoping Leesh is able to come over soon, she's finished her first segment of drivers ed. so hanging out should be easier now.
And last but definitely not least, you all should go to Sye's woohu and wish his band good luck at their show!
I'll either edit or update later.
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fearthainn
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2005 6 July :: 1.46am
:: Mood: mischievous
:: Music: Static-X - I'm with stupid
Sye wanted me to update, so here it goes..
I had a blast with Carl these past few days.
I do warn you, this probably will be all jumbled together..
Sunday: I went to Carl's dad's, from there to her mom's, from there to Pop-Tart's.. then Carl and I switched cars and rode to Newaygo with Alex and Toby rode with Pop-Tart. It was a very amusing ride, a lot of speeding involved. Oh, and we all learned that Pop-Tart likes to stop right in front of police cars that are obviously trying to get around her.
Anyway, we got up to her property and it was basically deserted besides her grandparents and uncle as everyone else was at the beach swimming. We got bored and played Skip-bo.. which Alex pissed me off terribly, the kid wouldn't shut up. I was definitely on the verge of slapping him.. should have too. We then went up to the Hilltop store and bought Pizza Pockets, which by the way are really good.. we made about 4 or 5 trips to that place throughout the night.
Later, we saw fireworks and decided that we'd walk down the trails to see if we could see them any better.. well Carl and Alex thought'd be hilarious to send Toby and I down a different trail.. "Oh, we'll wait here guys." Yeah, right. Toby and I get back up there and they've disappeared.. we didn't figure they went far 'cause we were the ones with the flashlight.. I guess I shined the light right on Alex, but didn't see him.. so Toby and I walked back to where we were staying. They finally showed up and laughed.
After sitting around a while we decided that there really was nothing to do up there so, Carl, Alex, Toby and I all ventured back to Carl's place for the night. You should've seen us trying to pile into Carl's bed, it was comical. Well, Toby and I stayed up until around 5 playing video games, and finally we all fell asleep around 6:45ish-7am.
We woke up, didn't really do a lot.. Alex left us, I really wasn't that disappointed..*mumbles* Carl got some awesome pictures of Eliseo, he is the coolest baby ever, seriously, you can't argue.. look at her Woohu..there are more pictures as well. I would have had some too, but I forgot my camera.
We then played some more video games, which I lost..again as always. Went to bed earlier, and slept until 1.. Got up, Carl attempted to make pancakes, which they started to cook once she turned the heat up.. Toby and I tried to make orange juice, I talked to Zach on the phone about sea-food and how he likes octopus, we watched some of the Blue Collar comedy tour movie, then Toby and I got picked up.
Now, that wasn't just a paragraph. ;)
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fearthainn
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2005 2 July :: 12.01pm
:: Mood: groggy
:: Music: Queensryche - Silent Lucidity
"Hush now don't you cry..
Wipe away the tear drops from your eye.
You're lying safe in bed,
It was all a bad dream
Spinning through your head..
Your mind tricked you to feel the pain
Of someone close to you leaving the game..
Of life
So here it is, another chance
Wide awake, you face the day
Your dream is over..
Or has it just begun?
There's a place I like to hide,
A door way that I run through in the night.
Relax child, you were there..
But only didn't realize, and you were scared.
It's a place where you will learn,
To face your fears, retrace the years
And ride the whims of your mind.
Commanding in another world
Suddenly, you hear and see
This magic new dimension..
I -- will be watching over you..
I -- am gonna' help you see it through..
I -- will protect you in the night..
I -- am smiling next to you .. in Silent Lucidity
If you open your mind for me,
You won't rely on open eyes to see.
The walls you built within..
Come tumbling down, and a new world will begin.
Living twice at once you learn,
You're safe from pain in the dream domain,
A soul set free to fly.
A round trip journey in your head..
Master of illusion, can you realize
Your dream's alive, you can be the guide but..
I -- will be watching over you
I -- am gonna' help you see it through
I -- will protect you in the night
I -- am smiling next to you .. "
I haven't listened to this song in so long, it's good to hear it again.
Today I really haven't done much.. I woke at noon, lied around most of the day, actually.. I haven't felt that great, these headaches are doing me in.
Luckily, I have my "rapid headache relief" aspirin, which is the only thing that has actually worked for me.
I'm going up north with Carl tomorrow, for fireworks and such.. it should be a good time, I just hope I don't have a headache the entire time.
I redyed my hair again, as all the blue Carl put in it came out.. it turned out super-dark, yet it still looks good.
After that, I ran a few errands with my mom.. then she wanted to go have a few drinks with friends, so I tagged along. We just arrived home.
Well, I'll update once I get back from up north.
I'll probably have pictures. See, I have a ton of pictures I could post but when ever I attempt to do so, it doesn't work.. it hates me, so I think I'll have someone do it for me this time.
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fearthainn
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2005 30 June :: 4.09pm
:: Mood: lethargic
:: Music: Muse - Sing for absolution
" Lips are turning blue,
A kiss that can't renew..
I only dream of you,
My beautiful..
Tiptoe to your room,
A starlight in the gloom,
I only dream of you,
And you never knew..
Sing for absolution,
I will be singing..
Falling from your grace..
There's nowhere left to hide,
In no one to confide..
The truth runs deep inside,
And will never die..
Lips are turning blue,
A kiss that can't renew..
I only dream of you,
My beautiful..
Sing for absolution,
I will be singing..
Falling from your grace..
Sing for absolution,
I will be singing..
Falling from your grace..
Our wrongs remain unratified,
And our souls won't be exhumed.."
Muse is a great band, you should give them a listen.
I apologise for not updating in such a long time.. I've not been online much, I've been with Leesh most of the week again.
This weekend I'm not positive on what I am doing yet, but I know I'll be with Carl.
I'll edit later, after I hear from her.
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fearthainn
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2005 24 June :: 11.51pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: Tonight and the rest of my life - Nina Gordon
I've figured a few things out this week..
1) My stepfather is an asshole.
2) I want to see Carl.
3) I want to see Sirus.
4) I want to see Leesh.
5) I love german chocolate and teddy bears.
6) I need to stay away from Hot Damn.
Well, Jim and my mom got into a massive fight.. which is not unusual. Although, I hate having to listen to it.
I've not gotten to see Carl yet since she got back.. I hope to tomorrow. I'm booking you Carl!
I just read Carl's Woohu, Sye is coming in 7 days! I can't believe it's that soon. :D
Leesh has drivers education for the next 2 weeks or so, and I won't be able to see her until around July.. 12th, is it? What ever the date, it's too long.
Eh, I'm finished.
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xJayk
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2005 20 June :: 2.06pm
:: Music: Powerman 5000-Free
It has been quite a busy summer, as you can see I haven't been online all that often. The summer started out with the usual lounging around, I talked to a few friends on the phone, yes sounds like the best first day off ever huh? Then I hung out with Jesus, after that Hillary, then Lyndsey and so on and so forth. Went to Golgotha like I do every week. It is to bad I didn't get to say goodbye to Stacie before she took off to Texas, eh I'll see her before summer ends.
It is hard to believe I only have one more year with most of my friends until they graduate and move on to collage and start a more productive life..well at least the ones that want to make something of themselves. It is going to be quite odd not having my bestfriends there to help me like they promised to do. I know I'll see some of them after graduation but some are going pretty far away for collage. Who knows what the future may bring.
Well back to my summer, Hillary came over and we took many good pictures at the cemetary in Allegan the Historic district, if anyone would like to see them just ask I am quite proud of them myself.
We also took a few at my grandmothers in her upstairs rooms, I found a rocking horse..I had to get many pictures of Hillary on it. Those made my day. :)
I took care of my grandfather and grandmother since my Papa Noam had a stroke, to bad Aunt Peggy had to be there. When I told them that they knew where I was and all they had to do was holler at me if they needed anything I got no responce so I trudged up the stairs until I heard Peggy shout " YOU CAN JUMP OUT THE WINDOW" that old hagg. She didn't do anything I really don't understand why she was there in the first place. She was probably lonely, I think I'd be lonely too if I scared all my friends and family off.
Well that is basicly it. I hope you all are having just a supper time off! *thumbs up* Well I'm off to watch The Lost Boys "Your dead Meat!"
3 Ghosts |
Fade Into Memory
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fearthainn
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2005 19 June :: 11.26pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: U2 - Where the streets have no name
"I want to run,
I want to hide,
I want to tear down the walls
That hold me inside,
I want to reach out,
And touch the flame
Where the streets have no name..
- -
I want to feel
Sunlight on my face,
I see the dust cloud disappear
Without a trace,
I want to take shelter from the poison rain
Where the streets have no name..
- -
Where the streets have no name..
Where the streets have no name..
We're still building,
Then burning down love
Burning down love..
And when I go there,
I go there with you
It's all I can do."
I don't care what your opinion is of U2, they have a very relaxing sound.
Which tonight, I have a reason for listening to them.. I thought my headaches were giving me a break, yeah, I was wrong. They were on and off the last couple weeks or so, but they've returned and they are as constant as before.
These headaches are full on tension. When I stand up, I feel faint and lightheaded.. I do have a very high tolerance for these, but tonight it's terrible.
I apologise for my complaining, I hate doing this. I know you guys (those of you who do read my journal) are probably sitting there wishing to throw objects at me for doing so, and I don't blame you.
-End of complaining
Today was a looong day, as expected. I went to a couple family get-together-things, for Father's Day.
I left home around noon, and got back only a few hours ago.. well, I was home for about 15 minutes in between that time, but I left to see my sister's new place.
Now I'm going to go lie down and watch a movie or something, but before I go I'd like to thank Leesh for keeping me sane while Carl and Sye are gone.. you know, letting me stay at your house for the majority of the week, taking me out for coffee and/or ice cream, going out to dinner, renting movies, EVERYTHING. Thank you.
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fearthainn
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2005 14 June :: 3.59pm
:: Mood: restless
:: Music: It's my life - Bon Jovi
I stayed the night at Carl's last night, and I saw her off to Germany today at the airport.. I miss her already.
sigh.
She's going to be gone for 9 days, and Sye is also gone to London.
Leesh, you're going to have to keep me sane.
Once Carl returns I'll be living with her for most of the summer. ;)
Well, at least until someone kicks me out.
Carl and I made farewell letters last night. I must have left mine at her house.. I swore I put it in my bag.
She even colored a sun, and flowers with faces on it. I'll be sure to post it once it is back in my possession.
I suppose I'm off, I'm waiting for Leesh to call.
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fearthainn
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2005 12 June :: 4.49pm
:: Music: Hanzel und Gretyl - Ich bin über alles
I am finally updating.
Thursday - Leesh came over as planned, she came and picked me up from school.
Friday- Leesh and I hung around my house, didn't do much.. took a few pictures.
Saturday- Carl picked Leesh and I up around 5:50, and we had to meet Pop-Tart and Brett by the Gravitron at 6:00.
We rode a few rides, one being the Zipper, which I had never gone on before.. it gave me a bit of a headache, fun though.
It started to rain, so we went over to the pavillion where a band was playing.. they had a song called "Spanish"
Carl: "He's either singing about meeting a girl, or buttoning up his shirt."
After that we walked around, took some pictures.. and waited for the fireworks to begin.
Pop-Tart and Leesh went on the Ferris Wheel, while Carl, Adam, and I went on the Gravitron. We got off of that, and sat on the curb watching the fireworks..we also were watching Pop-Tart and Leesh fight on the Ferris Wheel.. that was hilarious. Basically all you saw and heard was Leesh's arms flailing, and Pop-Tart yelling at her.
We all went home after that.
I have a few pictures, if you'd like to see them.
I'm going to Carl's tomorrow, and spending the night. Then I'll be dropping her off at the airport with her family on Tuesday, then she's off to Germany. I Hope you have an awesome time, Carl!
Oh yeah, I'll bring my chocolate money for you tomorrow.
I'd also like to say, I hope you feel better Sye!
You all better wish him well.
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fearthainn
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2005 7 June :: 6.42pm
:: Mood: stressed
:: Music: Wumpscut - Kreig
Hm.
I've only got about.. 3 more days that I have to wake early in the morning. Technically, it is 1.5 days.. 'cause they're half days. Anyway, I'm glad.
I'm stressed out and tired, I've got exams tomorrow in English, which is all grammar.. I mean, that's what we did all year. Believe me, I've had my share of it, and if I get another teacher that doesn't focus more on literature, I will immediately switch out.
Next, I have math.. well, I suck at math in general. So, I don't know how well that is going to go over.
Luckily, it's all multiple choice.
Today after school my brown paper bag broke, but my stash was saved for Carl had her old book cover.. so she wrapped it up for me.
Carl was definitely the saviour of the day.
On Thursday Leesh is coming over, and she's coming to get me after school on Friday.
She's given up coon hunting with her grandpa, to come join Carl, Caleb, Brett, Pop-Tart, Cone, and myself at the start of summer celebration.
It's gonna' be awesome.
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fearthainn
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2005 5 June :: 9.21pm
:: Mood: grateful
:: Music: Deadstar Assembly - Breathe for me
Look at my new layout!
Isn't it awesome?
Made by Carl, and she did a wonderful job.
My weekend was awesome.
Friday - Leesh came over.
Saturday - Carl, Leesh, and I went down to the Festival of the Arts. That was fun. Took tons of pictures, they turned out cool.
We ran into Meg and Jeremy, met Jay and Mike, and I got a horrible face painting. Just terrible. Carl and Leesh got spiders, and I got this blob that was supposed to be a dragonfly. That girl hated me.
After we left the festival we went to K-mart, then to Blockbuster to rent movies.. we then went back to my place and watched them.
All in all it was an awesome night.
Sunday - Went out to lunch with Leesh, her mom, and my mom.
Went out to find Jim a birthday present.. and while we were at the store a severe thunderstorm passed through, and the lights went out.
The trees outside looked as if they were going to be ripped from the ground.
It was pretty bad.
We finally arrived home, and I finished a few things for science.. I got yelled at last night for my grade in that class.
I better ace that test tomorrow or you won't be seeing me any time soon,
my friends.
Friday is our last day of school, and also it is the Start of Summer Celebration.. which should be fun, I hope to go with Carl, Leesh, and Caleb. I don't know if that is still the plan or not, though.
End of post.
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xjayk
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2005 2 June :: 7.47pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Mudvayne: Happy
Well I guess it has been an okay day.
When I got out of school I got a ride from my aunt to take me downtown and I went to the skate park where I met up with Shain and unexpectedly Durk.
Right now I am getting on a project for someone who's coming here in 31 days. Yes I am very excited! I've been working on this for awhile now and Hillary is getting in on it, so 2 perfectionists= great results. I can't wait to see how it turns out. Well thats all for now, I don't want to spill the beans.
1 Ghosts |
Fade Into Memory
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