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I don't hold my breath, and I don't hold my tongue.

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phil-himself

:: 2010 3 August :: 7.25am

Power Slave (iron Maiden)

Tell me why I had to be a Powerslave
I don't wanna die, I'm a God,
Why can't I live on?
When the Life Giver dies,
All around is laid waste,
And in my last hour,
I'm a Slave to the Power of Death.

[x]


acidtears

:: 2010 2 August :: 5.05pm




I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feelings disappear
you are someone else
I am still right here

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

[x]


acidtears

:: 2010 1 August :: 9.19pm
:: Mood: amused

Adam Lambert has been like crack for me the past week.

[x]


acidtears

:: 2010 31 July :: 3.58pm
:: Music: Lily Allen

I could say that I'll always be here for you
But that would be a lie and quite a pointless thing to do
I could says that I'll always have feelings for you
But I've got a life ahead of me, I'm only twenty two

Since you've gone I've lost a chip on my shoulder
Since you've gone I feel like I've gotten older
And now you've gone it as if the whole wide world is my stage
And now you've gone it's like I've been let out of my cage

You always made it clear that you hated my friends
You made me feel so guilty when I was running around with them
And everything was always about being cool
And now I've come to realize there's nothing cool about you at all
Lily Allen Lyrics on www.lyrics-celebrities.anekatips.com

Since you've gone I've lost a chip on my shoulder
Since you've gone I feel like I've gotten older
And now you've gone it as if the whole wide world is my stage
And now you've gone it's like I've been let out of my cage

Since you've gone I've lost a chip on my shoulder,
Since you've gone I feel like I've gotten older,
And now you've gone it feels as if the whole wide world is my stage
And now you've gone it's like I've been let out of my cage

[x]


acidtears

:: 2010 31 July :: 3.48pm
:: Mood: accomplished

Moving on, and it feels good. :)

[x]


acidtears

:: 2010 27 July :: 11.31am

Hang on
When the water is rising
Hang on
When the waves are crashing
Hang on
Just don't ever let go

I'm so stubborn
It's how I got here
So alone
Feels like forever
I wanna swim away
And breath the open air
But I feel so afraid
Then I hear you say

Hang on
When the water is rising
Hang on
When the waves are crashing
Hang on
Just don't ever let go

I'm so hungry
How can I stay here?
I'm starving
For what I hold so dear
Like a hurricane
It takes everything
From me
Wake me from this dream

Hang on
When the water is rising
Hang on
When the waves are crashing
Hang on
Just don't ever let go

Hang on
When you're barely breathing
Hang on
When your heart's still beating
Hang on
Just don't ever let go

Three days
Or thirty years
So hopeless
It doesn't matter
Don't say it's too late
If you blink your eyes
The sun is rising
The sun is rising

Hang on
When the water is rising
Hang on
When the waves are crashing
Hang on
Just don't ever let go

Hang on
When you are barely breathing
Hang on
When your hearts still beating
Hang on
Just don't ever let go

[x]


acidtears

:: 2010 26 July :: 11.05pm
:: Mood: drained

shfxnvmxasjf....i don't even know.
The new job is going good. I am working everyday this week except Thursday. The only bad thing about this job is being on my feet all day. I'm getting used to it though. It never fails, the gas station becomes empty, so I go to sit down, and as soon as my ass touches the chair, there's a customer. I have phrases like "Have a good Day?", "How are you?", and "Credit or Debit?" stuck in my head. I dream in PLU numbers. But, I do not regret starting there. Everyone's friendly, my boss and co workers are awesome and hilarious. It's very laid back. I like it. It's easy. But, first thing I need to get is my driver's license, then GED, then save money for the tattoo job next summer. And eventually, once all is taken care of, start looking at apartments. But, it's going to be a busy week. Luckily tomorrow is going to be very easy. My shortest shit yet will be tomorrow, only 2 hours. Not bad at all. My downtime consists of talking about booty calls and other dirty things with my boss. Love it. But, better get to bed. See ya.

[x]


acidtears

:: 2010 23 July :: 11.57am
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: "Happy" By Leona Lewis

Fucking Doctors
Well, today sucks so far. I kept trying to get a hold of the Gastro office, when I finally got through I learned my Doctor doesn't work there anymore, and they have a note not to schedule me there anymore with anyone. Because I had to reschedule a few times. Excuse the fuck out of me, Life happens. The majority of the time my mom was not feeling well enough to drive me, and I cannot walk to Greenville. Fuck that. Whatever, the nurses and Secretaries there were bitches anyway. So luckily I found 3 highly respected Gastro Doctors that I need to call. I hope they accept my insurance, because I need to see a Gastro Doctor. But, onto another subject. My grandparents are picking me up later and we're going out to dinner, then tomorrow, I start work. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. No, it's not my dream job, but its a job and sure beats the hell out of working at a Fast Food place. I start tomorrow at 2, then end at closing time, 10. So, luckily I don't have to wake up earlier or a anything. Then next week Me and David might hang out, depends on my work schedule and a few other factors. But, I better get going. Bye.

2 comments | [x]


acidtears

:: 2010 19 July :: 10.52pm

I think I might go nuts before wednesday

[x]


rayray

:: 2010 18 July :: 10.15am

Only roughly 111 more days..

[x]


phil-himself

:: 2010 18 July :: 2.11am

gettin drunk and yellin at my dog, classic

4 comments | [x]


spud

:: 2010 16 July :: 3.03pm

my life right now

A breadth-first search makes a lot of sense for dating in general, actually; it suggests dating a bunch of people casually before getting serious, rather than having a series of five-year relationships one after the other.

3 comments | [x]


spud

:: 2010 13 July :: 2.13pm
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: BnL - Bank Job

life barrels on.

being single is not all it's cracked up to be. i know i'm pathetic, but it's just really nagging at me a lot lately. but at the same time, it's not good to be desperate. that would be a good way to rush into something ill-advised. i figure if i'm gonna be in a relationship, i would want it to be one worth having, and worth taking the time to do it properly. not that there's a rulebook on how those things work or anything, but i do know that it at least takes time and energy to cultivate something lasting. i feel like i'd probably prefer something with more longevity over something of a fling. even though the fling is less daunting, and could be lots of fun in the short haul.

but enough about that. i can't help but notice that a lot of my good friends keep moving away. which is fine, i'm very happy for them. but it makes me want to get the fuck outta here in a quick hurry. not that i'ma run off to japan or anything, but i really want to do something, ANYTHING to break up the monotony.

get a fucking job, you hippie.

which reminds me, i do have work tomorrow and thursday. hopefully that'll mean some gas in the truck, and maybe some grocery money for chuckles.

the drum lessons have been fun thus far, but i'm not sure how well i'm doing as an instructor, and they're definitely not breaking the bank. eh, whatevs. at least it's something.

oh, other exciting update! i was at becca's saturday night (well, sunday morning) and thrashed my foot pretty good on an angle bracket. considering how deep it is, it doesn't hurt too badly, and i've been fairly diligent about keeping it cleaned out and putting antibiotic ointment on it, but it's still not healing up any too quickly. it's a pain in the ass because it's right on my heel. i have this irrepressible tendency to walk on it. maybe i'll take pictures and post them up for funzies. evidence that i'm a dumbass and a klutz.

1 comment | [x]


acidtears

:: 2010 12 July :: 5.23pm
:: Mood: aggravated

Ha! Back at square one.

[x]


acidtears

:: 2010 10 July :: 5.42pm


Raise your glass
We have incorporated
Place your bets
We're all so sick of waiting
Queen takes jack
You got me this time but i'll get you back
So pick a number

To all the ones who tried the most was i supposed to cheer your efforts
Sorry that i chose so poorly
Golly gee am i the poster girl

She's the kind of girl who looks for love in all the lonely places
The kind who comes to poker pockets stuffed with kings and aces
She's the kind of girl who only asks you over when its raining
Just to make you lie there catching water dripping from the ceiling

Lift your hats
Off to the checkout girls with tattooed backs
They'd make an angels skin crawl
If you ask them for assistance
There's an even chance
You'll get a number

To all the girls at pearl the surly boys who get to masticate them
I've a prize for each and every one of you so just be patient

To all the ones that hated me the most a toast
You really had me
Going for a second i was nervous
Boy am i the poster girl

She's the kind of girl who gets her slings and arrows from the dumpster
The kind who tell you she's bipolar just to make you trust her
She's the kind of girl who leaves out condoms on the bedroom dresser
Just to make you jealous of the men she fucked before you met her

To all the ones who thought they knew me best a test to prove your prowess
Who was mine in '99 i want last names and current status
To all the ones who hated me the most a toast you really had me going for second
I was nervous boy am i the poster girl
For some suburban sickness
Better keep a healthy distance
Now its up to you know what to do
It's pretty dirty business

[x]

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