home | profile | guestbook


love me or hate me its all the same

recent entries | past entries


eddy

:: 2007 8 September :: 2.45am
:: Music: Enigma - Le Roi Est Mort, Vive le Roi!

Welcome to My World

I've come to a strange realization....

I love Johnny Depp's nose.

Yeah....

2 will hate me | will you love or hate


skife

:: 2007 7 September :: 11.59am

last night, i downloaded

Clutch, live at the orbit room 3-17-07 not the best recording, but i was there :D

1 will hate me | will you love or hate


skife

:: 2007 6 September :: 11.22am

wow, i'm horrible at accomplishing my goals.

my truck still doesn't run
i still live at home
i now don't have a job

i need to buckle down and get back to school.

2 will hate me | will you love or hate


rayray

:: 2007 5 September :: 3.40pm

So it's been awhile since I have had something of some use or interest.
I still work the same shitty job.
Mike and I are doing great. Wonderful as a matter of fact.
I spent a lot of time with my dad, sister and brother (in law) this weekend.
I had a lot of fun.
Mike went to fireworks with my sister, dad and I.
We walked.. Pretty amazing.
Hopefully this time next year, Mike will be a probation officer or whatever he decides to be, and I will be able to not work haha..

I got my first speeding ticket..
I just called to see how much it is going to be..
$86 dollars isn't bad. :)

5 will hate me | will you love or hate


moomoo

:: 2007 4 September :: 4.29pm

Well its been 5 months for me and kyle. We are really starting to get up there ;) My new job is going great. Looking into walker medical to start at a PCT. Prly gonna go in January. So then I can get my new Job to pay for most of it. Then maybe going for my LPN. So we will see how it goes. We are staying at alpine slopes and moving to a one bedroom loft. But we dont know when yet, were on the waiting list. Hopefully next month. So the cocktail party is prly gonna get put back a month, sorry guys. But it will still happen. But am excited to finally combine stuff, its gonna look really nice. So other then that just working, hanging out with freinds, and Kyle.

will you love or hate


skife

:: 2007 3 September :: 10.15am

i just woke up, this weekend turned from something crappy to something alright.

you know, i havn't been drunk since i turned 21, weird huh?

the car breaking got me thinking about death.

the night before the tie rod end broke i was doing 95 down a rough part of the highway, if the tie rod would have let loose there, i would have smashed into a concrete wall or a line of traffic. just thinking about it freaks me out a bit.

hopefully next week gets better.

2 will hate me | will you love or hate


skife

:: 2007 2 September :: 9.52pm

today, miranda took jessi sly and myself here.

http://forums.ghosttowns.com/showthread.php?t=15355&highlight=marlborough

marlborough mi, michigan's largest ghost town..


its amazingly huge.

will you love or hate


eddy

:: 2007 2 September :: 1.54am

I've just finally seen Pirates 3. I enjoyed it immensely, but it's left me with a terrible feeling, and kind of a bad mood. It's just left me feeling....weird. Is the only way I can describe it I guess, lol. The ending really bothered me, added with the little bonus clip at the end.

All I can say is, they better make another one and fix it. Or I will be upset. More so than I am now.

Some parts just didn't make sense.

Poor poor Will.

Not to mention they left several things wide open, just asking for a part 4.
I can hope.

5 will hate me | will you love or hate


skife

:: 2007 1 September :: 2.30pm

camping.

found some wi-fi in baldwin, like no place had it except for this restraunt on m73.


this has been the worst week ever.
first off monday, i hurt my back at work, there was no manager there to report the accident to, so i didn't.
i called work the next day to tell them i'm not coming in and why, the manager says "okay" so whatever i figured
i told someone about it.

wednesday:
i go into work, filled out the accident report, try to work and can't, my back is still extremely fucked up.
They (my work) refuse to send me to a doctor because i filled out the accident report to late. i go home pissed.

thursday:
i call in to work again, make a doctors appointment, show up at the doc's on time. I get there tell them
what happened they said its a workman's comp case and they can't take it without a formal denial of workman's comp.

i call my boss, he calls the human resource lady and they tell me to go to the doctor on alpine, i started on my way there from 28th street.
i took a shortcut through the ghetto where my car decided to break a tie rod. middle of the fucking ghetto...
I walked to danielle's about a mile and a half north. on that walk i get a call from my boss saying not to go to the
doctor the owner told him not to let me go. and he tells me that i need a doctors note to miss anymore work.
i ask him how i'm supposed to get one without a formal denial of workman's comp. and he said he'll print something up.


pretty much from what i understand from that is my back is fucked from work, they arn't covering me, and know i can't work
they pretty much fired me.

Friday: wake up on danielle's futon, i borrowed andy's car dolly. my brother brings it down, we get the tempo out of the ghetto
i then go camping with my parents. uggh.. i hate the great outdoors. To really fuck the week up, i get a call at about 11 last night
from jen and she told me she doesn't think our relationship is going anywhere. way to kick me in the balls when i'm already down
i wish i would have stayed home. i'm in a pretty big hole right now, bigger than i've ever been in before.
and i thought ohio was bad.

saturday:
wake up earlier than usual because people are making noise and shit, don't want to be in baldwin still. its white trash as shit up here.
trying to get my brother to go to sliverlake to fuck around on the sand dunes, doesn't look like thats happening though.
hopefully i can find a ride home today, or some internet.

3 will hate me | will you love or hate


eddy

:: 2007 26 August :: 1.54pm
:: Music: Santana/ Josh Groban


And the search continues....

2 will hate me | will you love or hate


rayray

:: 2007 26 August :: 12.26am

Thursday my friend Katelyn had her baby. I am way excited because I get to see her tomorrow!!

I also went to see Ally and her pregnant belly today.
I cannot wait until she has her baby..

1 will hate me | will you love or hate


box

:: 2007 23 August :: 12.38pm

Guess who's gettin tickets to see fuckin Megadeth bitches' !!




Yea.. you suck

will you love or hate


kate

:: 2007 19 August :: 1.35am
:: Music: Regina Spektor

Fotografia, Uniwersytet, Spac.
I never realized how uncomfortable this little box is to type in. It's shoved to the bottom left corner and no more than an inch and half high. The white background is pretty depressing too. I guess it's the perfect atmosphere for sappy Internet blogging.

There are a lot of things I want to do with my life. I wonder about if I'm doing them. I feel like I'm trying hard, but not making it very far. Why am I going to Alma College? I have proved that I'm a city person. I'm a street photographer. I'm going to a school with an excellent photography program.. but the school is in the middle of nowhere. In the middle of Michigan, to be exact. Not that Michigan is nothing. I have grown very fond of my state over the last year. But after living a year in Warsaw, I simply won't survive long in a small town.

It's money. It's all about money. If I had money I would drop Alma and go to study at Griffith University in Brisbane, Australia. If I had money I would buy a decent camera and photoshop. I don't have a camera right now. Can you believe that? I have this feeling of hopelessness without it.. this nothingless. When I was in the UP this weekend, my camera broke. I can't afford a new one. I want a nice one though, not just another digital camera every tourist or mom has. Sometimes I wonder who I'm kidding though. I don't know a damn thing about photoshop, about aperature or other camera technicalities. I feel like I know little more than the average photo taker. I guess that's not important though. What's important is that I take photos because I love to do it. I get frustrated, though, when I think my photo could be so much more, but my camera makes it look pixely or ruins the colors. I try to convince myself it will be better when I start college because I can get a job and save up for things like a nice camera, lenses, and I'll be taking classes to learn all of the ins and outs of photography and exercise my ability. But it's difficult to take a photography course with no camera. And it's difficult to get a camera when you owe the school $1,200 before you can even start classes and I've got less than half of that in my bank account. All I can do is rely on my parents once again, even though they can't spare the money. It only adds to the amount that I owe them. Maybe you shouldn't owe your parents, but I know they don't have much more money than I do, so I feel obligated.

I've been thinking about Poland a lot lately. I always think about Poland. Why is it that life works out in almost painfully ironic ways? My best friend is in Hungary. I know a language that will probably never help me in Alma, MI. My camera breaks a week before I start photography classes. Heh. All I can do is laugh about it. I accept that I need to work harder having circumstances like this.. most of the people I love the very most are all around the world. I will probably only see a few of them ever again, and then maybe only once more. And I know that I'm going to meet many more people that I will cherish.. and never see again. It's something I accept in traveling though.

I wish I could study in Australia. I really want that the most. I wish that the school would be more helpful to me and I wish I knew what my plan was for even the next year, let alone the next four years.

Perhaps I'm complaining. But who looks at this anyway?

God I hate money.

Justine.. you take really beautiful photographs. They make me feel everything at once.

Perhaps I should sleep. It has been a long day.

2 will hate me | will you love or hate


rayray

:: 2007 10 August :: 4.16pm
:: Mood: Enraged.

If you thought your day was bad..
What needs to change:
While you do work hard, it has been observed for some time that instead of being respectful and helpful to your co-workers, you have been a major contributor to a hostile, judgemental and difficult work environment. Belittling, jabbing comments as well as rough handling of equipment and passing of material are just few examples of behavior that must stop. While you may argue about others not going enough, it is not much different than what you were able to do when you first started. You have also exhibited these types of behaviors with people not even in your work cell.

It was hoped that discussing these issues, you would take an honest look at yourself and look for ways to improve the situation. Unfortunately, right after this conversation, the same negative behaviors were displayed.

Why this is a concern
These types of behaviors are contrary to the values of GRC and undermine the teamwork required to achieve the highest of overall results. Your condescending and hostile behavior towards others is consuming several people's times on these issues and making work difficult for others on a daily basis.

What results are expected
Everyone who comes to work should expect to be treated respectfully and professionally. When issues or problems arise, we should be honest and look for ways to solve the problem and find was to achieve the highest overall result. When new people come into GRC, rather than belittling them, you should be making them feel welcomed and help them perform their job better. This may mean doing more than your share initially until they learn how to do the job efficiently.

What happens next
You need to aware that creating a hostile work environment can begrounds for immediate termination. If we do not see a dramatic difference in your behavior, termination of employment will be the immediate consequence for you.


That is a letter I recieved from the HR Director. Shannon recieved the same letter. So after reading that you'll understand how my day went. As most of you may know I have had a problem with Christine for awhile now. Things have never escalated to the point where she felt the need to tell our supervisor every little detail of every conversation. Im not trying to make myself sound better than her, or be immature and childish about any of this. However, I do not appreciate her jumping down my throat for supposedly copping an attitude. I was simply stating a true fact, and she blew up at me. It is not my fault she misconstrued that situation as well as when Stacy and Shannon hashed it out, after Stacy tried hashing it out with me. I am in no place to point fingers, because I am guilty of being rude, and judgemental. I also do not appreciated Christine telling Shannon when she first started that she better not let me meet her boyfriend because I would try and steal him. Also that I was trying to come between a supposed love affair between Brandon and Angel. I do not know where she got any of that. (For the record, and Im pretty sure all of you realize that I am very at home with Mike. I do not need another man. And I wouldn't be a susie-homewrecker and try to break people up. If people at work are having a love affair, that is their business.) I am not guilty of talking behind their backs because whatever I have to say, I willingly say it to their faces. I have a spine, and Im not going to back down. I don't lay down helpless to be kicked. I may have done that once upon a time, however things have changed.

I do not know where they got that I belittle the new hires, when the only person on the line I have said was slow, was Christine. And thats because she's been there 3 years, and still cannot keep up. When I started working there, I was told the first day by the supervisor that gossip was not tolerated, and if I didn't make rate after a certain amount of time, I would be let go. What happened to those policies?

Also, I am not offended easily, nor disturbed. But when I hear things come from Christines mouth about how her 11 year old daughter wants to get her clit pierced. Or how she found a used condom in her 13 year old daughters backpack. Or how her 17 year old sons girlfriend has a smelly pussy. I am very offended and disturbed. It is uncalled for, true or not, to say those things in the workplace. Especially about your own kids.

And trust me, I have tried telling my supervisor all of this, and it obviously hasn't gotten me anywhere. I am all out of ideas.

will you love or hate


skife

:: 2007 8 August :: 10.56am

sooo,

update?

good things since last update:
Jen
21'st birthday
new job at goodyear on alpine

Bad things:
truck needs more parts/money
i havn't updated alot
i'm sorry.

have a nice day.

4 will hate me | will you love or hate


rayray

:: 2007 3 August :: 11.31pm

I haven't posted anything in here for a little while now. Partly because I am completely tapped on anything I want to say. I have done enough communicating lately that I have nothing left to vent. However, the tables have turned. I am frustrated and confused. I feel like I'm being selfish on all that is going on. But its the only thing that feels right. I just wish things were different. I don't even know where to begin.

I dont understand why I can't just forget the fact that she's my mother. I don't understand anything she does. I don't get why I try. I don't get why no matter how hard I try to avoid her, or how many times I say I hate over there, I end up there. I always leave pissed off, or this time, crying because Im so upset. Its because of things I witness, things that are said or things that are done. I don't get why I can't come to terms with the fact that my mother is an alcoholic that smokes pot and prefers men over her children no matter how hard she tries to say otherwise. I have a hard time trying not to care. I do so good for awhile, and then I break because i feel bad. I hate how I can be so cold and act like no one around me exsists, yet Im always worrying about everyone. I always have something big on my mind, and I get stressed out. I honestly, do not understand my mother. At all. I truly do not understand her. And she doesn't understand me. She doesn't realize that she has hurt me.

For instance, tonight I was over there washing my car, and spending time with her, like she has wanted to do for a couple of weeks now, and Joe shows up. Granted I new he was going to come over to get rid of the bat(s) she had. Anyway, she basically ignored the fact that I was there, and made plans for her, Joe and his friend to all go back to his place. After Joe's friend asked if I wanted to come out there, she spoke up and said "oh yeah, you can go if you want". And then rushed me out.

Not to mention the fact that earlier in the week, she invited my brother to go over to my grandma's to pick out what he wanted out of her stuff, but not I. Not the one who she had just spoke with on the phone. She is giving some of my grandmothers things to Joe. She knows that I'd like a few things that belonged to my grandmother and also they were things that she knows I have said I needed for my apartment.. Apparently, I do not rate, but here I go feeling sorry for myself.

I find it quite hard to believe that the only thing that keeps me sane, the one and only thing that I didn't ever think I'd have, is the only thing that makes sense in my life day after day. I have found happiness with him. I love him entirely and I honestly would go crazy without him.

In good news, my brother-in-law is going to be a Cop. (I believe that is what my mother said. It was hard to comprehend anything she was saying).

4 will hate me | will you love or hate


skife

:: 2007 1 August :: 12.12pm

posting this for box since he's got no internet.

will you love or hate


joeydomina

:: 2007 26 July :: 9.48am

going to the hospital
well all its finally here. Perry's gf is having her baby. kinda scary. little Perry's running around. anywho thats where I'll be so take care and have fun.

will you love or hate


moomoo

:: 2007 26 July :: 2.05am

So today was a lot of fun, well I guess yesterday now. Being on 3rd shift sure messes up my days. So today I looked at more apartments. God am I sick of the apartment search. I wish those fuckers from the town house wouldn't of been asssholes. Oh well I guess, I will figure it out soon. So today I went disc golfing, I still suck at it lol. Then we went bowling, which am still bomb at lol. Today is 4 months for me and Kyle. Woohu we made it lol. Well vacation has been fun so far, too bad I eventually have go back to work. Well time to watch some more dirty dancing.

will you love or hate


chelthesmell

:: 2007 25 July :: 1.12pm

Some things just make you realize who your real friends are I guess...

2 will hate me | will you love or hate


skife

:: 2007 23 July :: 3.03pm

random stuff i've found in my room so far.

3x hungry howies hats
1x Beth's AC/DC shirt.... tried it on, tight in my arms loose the rest of places, doesn't fit right.

more to come

2 will hate me | will you love or hate


rayray

:: 2007 21 July :: 9.03pm

This morning about 4 AM, I broke down.
I lost all control. It was probably for the best.
I had been a wreck all week.
I was being an irritable bitch and was hard to be around.
Im glad that I got out what I had to say.
But more importantly, Im happy that I was able to finally talk to him.
He actually seemed to care.
And he held my hand.
That made me feel whole again.
God I love him.

will you love or hate


skife

:: 2007 20 July :: 7.23am

i hate this job, i wake up every morning and dread going to work. It really makes it hard to get up in the morning.

i'm going to quit...

will you love or hate


skife

:: 2007 19 July :: 7.27pm

anyone want to move out?

with 4 people and utilities and shit i think we could get this place for under $450 a month per person.

imagine the partys

http://grandrapids.craigslist.org/apa/375515659.html

2 will hate me | will you love or hate


box

:: 2007 18 July :: 2.49pm

I would really like to have another party like this

"So the party was pretty bad ass if i do say so myself..

Quite a few people showed up..

Aj, Brenton, Jay and I started playing hack in the barn and all of the sudden the whole party migrated into the barn.. It was pretty cool actually..

Things kept pretty civil till the end up the party when rocko started talking shit to aj because we stopped him from trying to mac on my cool-aid, but its alright, ive known him for years since back when my brother was in middle school.. he just had a little too much captain in him...

Other than that it was great.. lots of old friends, had some good times... shared some good stories and some jokes.. and passed around the liquor.. We had more beer than the nearest bar packed in the fridge and sitting by us in the garage.. 2-30 packs, a 24 pack, 2- fifths, and a half gallon of SoCo.. So there was plenty to go around..

Thanks everyone for showing.. now for the credits..

___________________

Party preperation - Box + AJ
Director - Box
Producer - Box + AJ

Cast And Crew

Box - Box
Aj - Drunk
Gfizzle- David
Beer Guy 1 - Mark
Beer Guy 2 - Steve
Jay - Keepin it real.. Finally got his drivers license..
Brenten - Woodnigger
Mindy - Still sleeping on my couch - drives a saturn
Chel-Unit - Hammered
Bonnie - My Coolaid
Smashly - Not appearing in this party
Erica - always wearing a hoodie... *Shrugs* ive got nuthin
Tony - Showing up late.. only one sober.. other than bonnie
Ramerio - Party Slut.. :P
Rocko - Shortest person there
Keith - Was actually cool for once
Steve - 2 Sheets to the wind
Tanya - Not far behind him
Un-named girl with steve and tanya... - Getting mac'd on by ramerio
Kristin - Drank herself retarded...
Chuck Norris - Walker Texas Ranger
KLQ - Playing a badass lineup

DJ - Yours Truly
Crowd Control - Aj, David, and a Winchester Model 120- 12 Gauge
Cleanup Crew - Whoever is still sleeping in my living room

Beer - Bud light, Miller Light, Busch
Liquor - Captain Morgan, Souther Comfort, Absolute Vodka
Bathroom Reading material - Latest Issue of Summit Magazine"

Yea.. those were good times i tell ya'

1 will hate me | will you love or hate

Woohu.com | Random Journal