The Only Broken-Hearted Loser You'll Ever Need

:: 2004 9 September :: 4.44pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: who will save your soul

....
what is the point in lying if the truth would hurt less anyway?

and whats the point in pretending?

why cant people ever be real..or genuine

why cant people ever mean what they say.

stop playing games, tell the truth.

1 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: | ::I::Saw::Red::

:: 2004 9 September :: 2.52pm
:: Mood: bitchy
:: Music: welcome back..

ehhh
hmm classes this week are alright...a lot different from last year, i got no classes with helena...but i have english with manda so thats goood got 2 classes with vinnie and joe...one with mike and jamie....one with heidi and jackie and ellen...yea but umm i hate having to do work lol im SOO lazy omg its crazzyyyyy

lol i talked to anthony today in the hall (yes amanda ur ex) lol he was standin in the hall wen i was in spanish and he was laughing at me haha watta dork...

umm so today...we thought it was a fire drill..but yea it wasnt haha cuz we walked out and we were like umm where are the trucks and fireman? so then we found out sum stupid defective smoke detector went off so yea we were outside madd long...all the lunches got messed up lol i had like 20 mins of 6th period,but a really long 5th period..very confusing day

and yea the bus driver today like completely rode by my bus stop haha so me and steve were like umm wtf...so steve yelled at him to stop :-) haha thanks stephen! lol yea so i only had to walk like 1 minute :-) hehe

tomaros friday....i donno if i can go out tho :-\ baa i wanna!! theres a NHS Football game, but ehh i am NOT watchin that shyt in the rain lol so maybe ill go out with sum pplz...but i donno my mom said i mite not be able to cuz we have that whole family thing on saturday....erg GAY

well im out...
Gangsta E (as kelly would say)
yea cuz im SO black rite....? haha um no

3 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: | ::I::Saw::Red::

:: 2004 7 September :: 6.34pm
:: Mood: gloomy
:: Music: not rite now

well...
since i got here..i kept thinking things were gunna change.... like idk..people just calling me..or writing to me... it feels kinda like i dont exist...or like i dont matter any more. its no ones fault. i couldnt help that i was moving.. nobody could. what i eally wonder about is what if i had stayed... would my friendships had lasted like id expected...or would they have faded any wya as i feel them doing now? i tell myself that i would have been happy...but maybe i would be just as sad. i miss u all so much.. more than i can even say. but i wonder is the feeling returned. it hurts to think about because it could be true. am i as much of a loss to u as u were to me? did u care liek i did.

i dont know why i go on and on like this. i guess its because i have no where else to say this.

1 508 277 4424

my new cell, please call me

comment if you can

silentcriez

:: 2004 7 September :: 10.42am
:: Mood: sick

sorry i havent been updating anything exciting lately..ive been kinda busy.. but ive had fun the past couple of days getting in toruble ;-) ;-) haha

lizzy and i hung out with dana and mike n ppl.. so that was fun :-)

ill write some more when i feel like it..

oh yeah im home sick lol

----------

another day
another story
another broken aliby

another heart
another worry
another chance that passes by

wont you find me
in the dark
when im lost and on my own?
wont you hold me
in the dark
when i dont know where to go...

(chorusx2)
the truth is
i need you
i love you with all that i am
i cant say
im sorry
im just waiting for the day that youll care

another empty heart
another broken vow
another chance to screw things up

another sunset
another wish
another hope that we could.. stay like this

wont you find me
in the dark
when im lost and on my own?
wont you hold me
in the dark
when i dont know where to go...

(chorusx2)

another morning
another mask..
just another way to hide

another beauty
who hates herself..
another way to hide the lies...

2 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: | ::I::Saw::Red::

cocopuff

:: 2004 6 September :: 9.54pm
:: Mood: high
:: Music: Vertical Horizon-

hmmm

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

[break]

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

So if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
So why don't we go

This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

^ love that song for some reason... manda knows the deal LOL

Yea soo schools started back up again... fuckgin can tell u right now i didnt miss it... but w/e i guess its somehting to do insted of sitting on my ass all the time at lest...

this weekend manda and i had fun.. lol managed to get shitfaced last night... hahahaha that was a fun time LMAO!! yea MANDA!!!! and we were high like all weekend.. but what else is new...

well i got school tomorrow (blows) and im soooo burnt out.. im off to bed...

1 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: | ::I::Saw::Red::

5 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: | ::I::Saw::Red::

:: 2004 6 September :: 8.58pm
:: Mood: tired and sad
:: Music: blahhh

none...
went to canobie lake park today...just got home.

i feel so weird not being in natick...like not in school today..or even with all of the people i was with. idk what im talkign about

i just miss u

please comment.

:: 2004 6 September :: 3.23pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: hey mama...

:-)
so last nite Katie came over and got to FINALLY see all my camp pictures! lol then Ryan and Alix came later on..they only stayed for a lil bit tho. . .

today i went shoppin with mi madre :-) ahh one of my favorite things :-)

Happy 19th Birthday Mark!!!

sooo...tomaro i start classes..i only wanna go cuz i wanna see whos in my classes, and to see certain people ;-)

well im bored...so im prolly gunna go bug mark cuz its his bday and i need to annoy him like.. 10 times more :-) im the greatest sister

byez

:: 2004 5 September :: 2.19pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: worlds greatest :-)

la la la
so yesterday i went out to lunch with Nikki and her family, for her last day in NaTiCk lol then i went back to her house and chilled there until like 10 or sumthin...my wifey has left now :-( she left this mornin at like 5..
I ALREADY MISS YOU!!!!
haha yes and for all u people that didnt read her comment for the entry b4 this one hahahaha...shes havin MaH bAbIeZ!! mwahahaha....
wow nikki good times, good times!

yupp so today i donno wat im doin. . . .

tomaro is Marks 19th Birthday!! lol i got him a card, cuz im so nice like that!

no school tomaro :-) shweeet!

well im iz-out! haha wow good times....
oOoBuBbLeSoOo
leave love!

silentcriez

:: 2004 5 September :: 1.02am
:: Music: hellz pit fucker :)

"Why not? Why would you wanna die?
Okay, you have feelings inside your head, okay
I understand that
Feelings lead to depression
When you have depression, you have a lonely void inside of your heart
Okay? And your heart means everything to the world
Okay?"

Your name is... manda
Your kiss is... breath taking
Your hugs are... gentle
Your eyes... light up a day
Your touch is... irresistable
Your smell is... exotic
Your smile is... entrancing
Your love is... unique

2 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: | ::I::Saw::Red::

:: 2004 4 September :: 10.47am
:: Mood: groggy
:: Music: nothin..

my stomach hurts :-[
im so tired. . .

well yesterday i went to Ryans and chilled there with Derek and him. . .
ryan ur lil sister is the cutest thing ever!! lol

ughh so today i prolly have to clean around the house and get ready for the party next week for my dad, its supposed to be a surprise so we have to clean up the house wen hes not here :-\ and of course ill prolly have to be my moms bitch for the next week, yea thats pretty fuckin gay....

haha im watchin BoonDock Saints :-) hmm...good times, good times ;-)

wow my stomach hurts AGAIN...wtf i hate my stomach haha it hurts every fuckin day

hmm yes i have a new icon now :-) haha
MADE BY KELLY!! lol yes it says bubbles!! lol Nikki made that name up for mein Florida then every1 in shop started callin me that haha..thank you kelly for the icon! :-) luv yaa

well im gunna go lay down and maybe my stomach will stop hurting....

leave love...
oOoBuBbLeSoOo

3 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: | ::I::Saw::Red::

:: 2004 3 September :: 6.42pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: the trouble with love

.....
i have just gotten back from hampton beach. i had a fun day while u were all in school haha...to tell the truth i would have rather been in natick tho :-/ . i went on all the water slides and stuff there..it was fun. lol i got burned on my faceand it hurts when i make expressions lol! well thats all for now...

darien

3 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: | ::I::Saw::Red::

:: 2004 2 September :: 7.29pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: eminem..

baa
no school tomaro :-) wahooo
maybe i will be able to see people :o)

yea so shop this week was wicked boring...got classes on tuesday...

my stomach hurts again :-[

ughh having no IMs makes me sooo mad...and my dads gunna be home tonite so i cant even talk to anyone!!! tonite i not gunna be a pussy lol and im gunna ask him to make it so i can have them back on EmmyD89.... :-\ lol thats the one thing we DONT do in my family...we dont ask dad to reverse sumthing he did for a good reason, but even my mom thinks its about time lol...i dont think im grounded anymore tho, but i donno i dont wanna ask and then get in a big ass argument cuz i asked a fuckin question...

well im gunna go be bored and lonely...
leave love...
emmyd

:: 2004 2 September :: 4.43pm
:: Mood: nostalgic
:: Music: lol my new clip on desk fan :-D

boredom
hello, i just cam,e back form the surprsingly large mall and shopping center in nh...got some clothes, and accessories for my new room. i wish i could move my house to natick...i cant help crying when i feel so alone here. evrything is so different. it still feels like im only on atrip, and that im gunna come home, i know its gunna take so long to adjust...and im not prepared. i just wish this never happened...i just never imagined it would...ive seen this situaion from the outside looking in, but now its the opposite. i feel liek ive complained enoiugh abotu this, but its all i feel...and all i can think about iguess....idk

*darien