:: 2004 29 July :: 12.46 am

I need a boyfriend... and i know that you think you know the truth about everything but to tell you the real truth you don't... unless you ask... so go ahead ask... because you may know the story or so you think and you talk about it like you know for sure you know but you don't and i hate that... so just grow up ok... because things happen in somebodies life who has made the same decisions as you or your best friends and something went wrong and the results were different... and you bitch about them... when you don't even know them... it really pisses me off....

1 Would you catch me if i fall? | ...

:: 2004 24 July :: 12.28 am

New phone number anyone who wants it just ask...

Went to work bout quite for real i work in a restaurent who's basement is covered in raw sewage and they get pissed when i tell them to go downstairs and get their own ice and then my boss tells me that getting ice is my job!... my comment... it's your job to give me and my coworkers a clean and healthy work enviroment and as soon as you do your job ill do mine then i walked out apprently i still have a job tho... i needed to get out of there tho my cell phone rang like 50 million times... someone really needed to talk to me... and i was getting yelled at for that too... but i can't shut it off in case of emergencies...
yea so if anyone wants to hang out give me a call sometime if im not working or don't already have plans we can do something!!!

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:: 2004 19 July :: 11.23 pm

Just got home from work... i have been there since like 4:30 or so so I'm kind of tired... my only day off is tomorrow. :(... money i guess, so then i can pay all my bills... How is everyone doing? Me and Brent are going back out, but i guess we'll see how long that lasts... I called Trisha's house after i got out of work... and her mom says she's supposed to be at your house... so i think i got her in trouble... which i completely didn't mean to so Trishy im sorry if i got you in any trouble... Anyways, i have to get going to get some sleep because even tho i have work off i still have everyday stupid stuff to do like get my lil sister and things... night sweeties

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:: 2004 14 July :: 12.21 am

So I called Charlie today mainly for the fact i need someone to talk to... and he helped at least Brent didn't call the cops and tell them that i was drunk driving... I got a car today not the hottest but it's a car and I LOVE IT!!!... i'm so excited Thank you mom and mom's boyfriend... I'm still really really upset and it's almost like it's gonna take quite a bit of time... I hate that the person you think you knwo the best is the one you truly know the least... at least that is what always happens in my case my boyfriend my ex best friends... why can't everything just stay the same forever... but like the saying goes if nothing changed there would be no butterflies... but honestly i think i could live without butterflies i mean i barely ever see them anyways... but yeah im gonna get gonig ill talk to you all later with lots of love signing off... Jessica

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:: 2004 12 July :: 11.24 pm

pain is just a way of letting us know we're living... but THIS pain, is the kind of pain to let you know that something truly bad happened... the kind that you never forget. With him i was sad and scared but without him im lost and confused it's hard to say which is better? After being with somebody for so long it's almost like you never existed without them before, and you wonder how you will ever live without them again, or that without them your incomplete no matter how he made you feel... and the pain they caused was so much better than the pain now... it's almost unbareable to me... For so long i thought i could make it without him normally *not suicidal*... just be myself without him there and now that I have chose to be by myself... im not sure it's possible... i cry because I break up with him makes a lot of sense... now i know that nobody really wants to read about my break ups but... i need somewhere or something to tell this all to... and if you don't want to read it then i don't just right now i really need this journal... more than anything.

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