courtney115
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2004 19 April :: 2.35pm
online suvays are fun. someone send me another!!
a fun little fact:
our own president doesnt read the daily newspaper. *tsk, tsk* no wonder mr. bush is such a dumb fuck (excuse the launguage). i think we would all be better off if America actually had a good reason to invade Iraq.
this is wack.
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courtney115
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2004 18 April :: 1.56pm
:: Music: D12
survay thingie
Time Started: 1:56
Wearing: pink shorts and limited too top(ever so preppy!)
Feeling: tired
Listening: D-12
Last Eaten: fruit by the foot
Last Said: "im going online!"
Thinking: i wish James would get on
Doing: nothing
Talking: little voices in my head
Later: nothing
Tomorrow: school
Little Voices: there names are Ffloyed and Rupert..tehehe
Time Finished: 1:58
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courtney115
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2004 17 April :: 6.11pm
went to the mall instead. with christina. and it was really fun!
james and i are going out!!
bet you knew that already, though. gossip dun spread like de wild fire in dem woods of de 6th grde.
yup.
james has a goped. ive never been on a goped. i think its a moterized scooter. sounds like fun! maybe ill go on it sometime. wheeee! gopedgopedgopedgoped!
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courtney115
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2004 17 April :: 12.22pm
mall
amy didnt wanna go to the mall today b/c chris was sick and she just didnt feel like goin without chris so, yea. james said maybe something tomorrow, oh well. tomorrow would be better anyway.
im goin to amys house ta play ddr and chillax with the girls, so, sounds cool. ok, well, ill update tomorrow
bye!
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courtney115
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2004 16 April :: 5.41pm
a poem of cam and jas (i dare not use their full names in case someone notices who they are!)
a poem of cam and jas
How do i want thee?
he yells with glee
as Cam climbs up the tree
of hope
and lust
oh, how i hate you!
jas says, sounding quite gloo-
mish
telling him:
"just hush!"
and everyday
he calls her, says:
"please, please be mine!
ill tell you when
were finished"
so everyday
she sighs, and says,
"i do not want you
no thank you,
dont fend."
for me.
and here we leave them,
this un-matching couple
one sees love
the other sees trouble
so long!
fair well!
with a tear in his eye
jas did not no,
on that day, he cried.
cam cried for jas
the day she was gone
his small little heart beat
sang a sad little song.
the end.
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courtney115
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2004 16 April :: 5.23pm
wah! u cant go to this softball game tonight..and james is gonna be there....and it would be cool!
but i cant. and no one could go, anyway.
so, were all goin to the mall saturday, yey!
plus, james is goonna be on the n.y trip i think!!
the mall wil be way cool, man. i havent been in like, forever.
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courtney115
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2004 15 April :: 7.30pm
The dirty secrets of oprah
HIGHlighters. can you get high off them? i wouldnt know. we should all just ask dr.phil.
speaking of middle-aged crying housewives, Oprah is coming to our bus tomorrow because these two boys are always fighting,*wink, wink* about 9 kids belive us. i whish oprah actually could come, though.
did you know that Oprah is cheating on Steadman with Dr.Phil?
i shit you not!
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courtney115
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2004 14 April :: 5.12pm
today was cool, yup, pretty damn off the hezzy. so, you ask, how is my life been the past 2 days?
fine, thank you!
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courtney115
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2004 13 April :: 7.07pm
aahh! im so happy! i just got, like, the coolest e-mail EVER!!!
yes!!
but i kinda feel bad..
but im really happy!!!
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courtney115
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2004 13 April :: 4.37pm
:: Mood: worried
:: Music: dido
it is raining outside of my window
everyone is always like
"dancing in the rain , kisssing in the rain, running in the rain, are all of the most beautiful things and so much fun."
i havent done any of them. does this mean i am missing out? does this mean that, if i do not kiss, dance, or run in the rain before next year i will be an outcast, one with no friends who sits all alone at the lunch table? possibly.
yet, i am the one who came into school today with half-way corn-rowed hair, and even though im not ghetto fabalous, everyone loves my hair. even my bus driver. i am one with the in-crowd, yey! so, if i am one with the in-crowd now, and have not yet danced in the rain, will i ever be TRUELY wanted i nour oh-so-popular click who sits together at the lunch table?
maybe not
alas, maybe so.
dancing in the rain seems to have way more complication then expected.
therefore, so BE acceppted, i must take the drastic step:
to dance in the rain, even if i have no desire to
is this the right move?
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courtney115
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2004 12 April :: 9.16pm
back from cancun! waaaaayy cool. i got my hair braided! i also got a tan, for like, the first time in my life im not going to be the paleist person in the world. (exept for maybe joshua) if i dont pay $2 my accounts gopnna be closed. shit. oh, well, i have about one more month with this and then i'll be kicked out!
well, im happy! but not about school starting again. oh, well, its almost over.
bye!
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courtney115
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2004 6 April :: 1.47pm
:: Mood: tired and exited at the same time
:: Music: none
the little pre-pubesent boy who sits alone on the non-swinging swing
a little less pain would have
eased
the mind of a little
pre-pubesent boy who was put
under
the
microscope of humiliation
yet you did not know this-so unaware of the consequences
your actions
have balloned up to in the
little boys mind.
a mind soild with mis-judgement
and greif
"if only, if only, the woodpecker sighed
the bark on the tree was just a little bit softer"
he sings
thinking of what could have been done
what could have been done.
to help ease the pain of tourture.
Alone he stands
every day
at recess
thinking of his pre-popular love
thinking of you.
who was only nine
when the want
of being wated
arose from your mind
so you shoved him away out of your life
of the sleepovers cookie baking and
trust
now noone keeps this little boy compony
as he sits all alone on the non-swinging swing
put under the microscope
of humiliation
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courtney115
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2004 6 April :: 1.07pm
:: Music: hey ya!
random crap
Well, on the religion front, all seems to be going crappy. i think my aount thinks imm crazy for not beliving in god. but hey, what can you do? i onnly see her about 2 times a year, so im not gonna dwell on it
on another note, science is a bitch. i hate science. im never ever ever EVER going to become a scientist. i dont care if thye give me 3 million dollers. some things just arnt going to happen
went to the mall yesterday. it was fun, i guess. i got some shorts, and this 50 year old guy was hitting on my sister. haha. im glad i hardly speak spanish.
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courtney115
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2004 4 April :: 9.45pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: none
religion
im confused about religion. what is it matter if you are catholic, buddhist, morman, muslim, jewish, wiccain, or anything else? no matter what their religion, everyone in the world just wants one thing: to be loved. everyone wants to be accepted, cherished, and noticed. what better way to get that than to look up to a higher being? i cant halp but wonder why everyone thinks that their religion is the best, though. they havent even explored other paths, other options beside the one that they have grown up in and has been forced down their throats.
i dont want to raise my children like that. i dont want someone to have to wake up every day and think that they have no choice about whom they can pray to, if anyone at all. i just think that it's not right, having 1-year-old already a member of their cristian church.
disturbing, actually.
therefore, i have decided this:
1. i am not going to get comfermed.
2.i am not going to conform into the good little catholic girl who goes to church every sunday because her daddy dearest tells her to.
3.i dont know where i belong religion wise.
4. i will try to be open-minded about the religion my parents have tought me, but, wil still lok at other options.
5. i cant wait to go to cancun.
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courtney115
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2004 2 April :: 7.59pm
she always loved
you a little
m
o
r
e
than anyone you
noticed.
she tried to tell
you of her secret wishes secret
dreams while smelling her
euphoric smell.
the smell of gardenias and artificial
glaumor.
and every day you passed her by
brushed her off-all the while
wanting-hopeing some day
some-o-n-e
a-n-yone
would pass you by and smile
so then she bleeds
the pain and angst
of the past
while lying on her bathroom floor.
thinking of where she went wrong.
red perspiration
sliding down her chest
sliding down her collerbone
sliding from her wrist
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