life. as we know it.

life. as we know it.

:: 2005 5 July :: 12.13am
:: Mood: mellow
:: Music: goodnight, goodnight ♥ hhh

such a beautiful disaster..
so it was my last weekend in jersey for two weeks right?
and the parents go away?
word? yeah im an idiot. ♥

so it all begin, friday afternoon. i went out with my mom, came home. i was gunna go to the carnival but shit happend and i ended up hangin out with shaun♥. no complaints there, by the way.
saturday rolls around. sat around at shauns, for mad long. got mary j. smoked, then frankie comes over smoked a blunt with him and his little brother? idk. they left. i hear from my mom and she wasnt leavin where she was til sunday afternoon. and she was a good three or four hours away. so i was like word. empty house. but i was still a little iffy. well like 11 or 12 rolls around and were sittin at steves with :
♥a 12 pk of corona
♥a 12 pk of smirnoff
♥a 24 pk of bud
♥a bottle of vodka
♥and whatever beer we had left at shauns
and no where to go.
tell me that aint some shit. so im convinced if we go to my house, and were quiet and make sure shits clean. everything will be "chill". oh and it was. believe me when i tell you. we were so well behaved its not even close to funny. we got in and set up by 123O id say. smoked a philly, got a shower. played some pong. sipped a corona or two♥. smoked another philly, and made sure shit wasnt gettin broken or the cops werent gettin called. did a whip-it too. 33O 4 rolls around. everyones slowin down. shaun helps me clean up the kitchen. and me and steve take out the trash. everythings cool, like so cool that i even mopped the floor just to be safe. ha. i get people situated for bed. go up and [you cant even say its sleep cause it wasnt] took a cat nap. next thing i know, ritz is in my face wakin me up sayin theres an old dude with grey hair and glasses downstairs askin where i was.

ohhhhh shit.

it was the stepdads pops. and it was akward as hell if i do say so myself. he asked if my mom knew, i said no. he saw the case of beer we left inside for during the night. and the bottle of vodka and everything else. everyone leaves. he asks if anyone was still inside. me, being half asleep and still burnt out. didnt know if he already checked the house or would check the house. to see if i was lying, said yeah shaun. and then that was that. i went up to bed and im assuming he left. so me and shaun get up at like 93Oish. clean up the rest, if it was possible. call for a ride and head to his house. i talked to my mom, everything was cool. meaning, she didnt know yet. steve calls, and needs the beer that we left at my house. yes there was more. HA. so he comes and gets me and shaun♥ we come back to my house. grab everything and as were ready to walk out the door to go back to shauns. vee calls and says to stay put cause shes on her way. so we get picked up, go to her ggs house. sit and talk for a little bit. then my mom calls to make sure i said happy birthday to my nanni♥. [she still didnt know.] 5 min later, step pops calls and flips out. within like two hours. they came and got us. [me and shaun] and took him home and me to my nannis. cause they were goin out again and i guess they figured, hey if i go away for the weekend and she has a party. shell do it againnn when were out for 2 hours tops. right? cause that makes a whole shit load of sense.
so yeah im at my nannis, who is by the way my gmom. cool as hell if i do say so myself. ask around, theyll tell you♥. anyway. hung around and did shit all night. 11 rolls around and my uncle jay has mad people over for a party i guess? idk he does that shit daily. so one of his friends asks me to come chill. so i go out there, sit around watch the drunk bastards. smoked a blunt♥ with this kid ive known since i was like so little i cant even remember the first time i met him. chilled. got eaten alive by bugs. went in talked to shaun for like 5 min half asleep and then passed out on the couch.
woke up today at like..1O 11ish. got picked up. on the bike i mind you. and came home for maybe 15 min tops. got pushed out the door again for some fourth of july bullshit. boring as hell. all the adults thought it was funny to offer me beer all day since they all knew about the party. HA. yeah. over-reacters. it coulda been so much worse, they have no idea. my house was like the most well behaved "party" ive ever been to. except that time we camped outta shauns house. ♥ haha.

so i leave for florida in 2 days. im not packed. not ready to leave. ready to visit my family down there, and see how everyones doin but not ready to leave jersey. if you get where im commin from. its gunna suck. 1O days of no friends. no boyfriend<|3. nothing. itll be interesting. i probably wont update this until i get back. because im sure i wont be doing anything worth telling about, until i get back. HA. that sucks for me. ahwell shit happends. its how you gotta look at things. ♥

atleast my parents never really yelled at me. they just make it a point to tell everyone they know and try and get them to pick on me about it. not realizing, i dont give a shit. but hey whatever. i still gotta kick outta my mom askin me when im gunna teach her how to play pong.
now i got plans for the next bbq♥

..holla.♥

im just messed up..

craziiwhitegirl

:: 2005 30 June :: 12.27am
:: Mood: high
:: Music: beautiful girl

Skavenger10: the buz is kickin in
Auto response from littLe biG x kiD: you and i collide...♥

Skavenger10: yeah i knoe sam
Skavenger10: WE COLIDE
Skavenger10: =D
Skavenger10: hahaha
Skavenger10: jk
littLe biG x kiD: aw
littLe biG x kiD: ha
littLe biG x kiD: that was kinda funny
littLe biG x kiD: but weird at the same time lol
Skavenger10: hahaha

corkey. and. sam`sam. best friends.♥

------------------------------------------------

so looks like i started over. for those of you who didnt know, i used to be crazy about this thing. now all that seems to matter is that friggen myspace. of mine. i doubt anyone i know even keeps a journal anymore. or atleast not on this site. but i always like woohu. it was easy to make and idk. just better. anyway. alots happend since the last time i was on this site. i deleted all my past entries so i could forget about all the drama i had to go through to get to where i am today. looking back on that shit. i went through a bunch. it reminded me how fucked up this world is, and how lucky i was to discover that as such a young ass age. sike.
on a brighter note. im happy with where i am in live as of right now. i have amazingly cool friends. i have an amazingly great boyfriend.

i ♥ shaun

and i was able to realize who was worth my time and who wasnt all along. from now on, im not gunna bitch about my daily life in here. i think ill use this for when i need to vent. or let it all out. not many people will read this anyway, so i dont think it would matter what i say in here much.

first things, first...

---------------------------------------------------

vee, i miss you terribly. me and you have gone through a shittttt load of gay shit. and weve made it passed. i know i was the one at fault for probably causing what happend to happen. but i dont know. i miss hangin out with you. you were my other half. i never had to explain myself to you. you got it. and your the only one out there that can. just get me. if i say "dick" you say "head" if i said "douche" you said "bag". [weird analogy] but it was like that. weve just grown apart so much within the last two months. and i miss the old days. you were a different kind of best friend. not one that made me feel good about myself. or tell me stuff just to cheer me up. but you were the true best friend type. the type who wouldnt let me give up on something that you knew i should do. or if you knew i was wrong. there wasnt a second youd let me get away with it. thank you. and yet never once judged me. cause you were right there, next to me. being just as crazy and stupid. i cant even begin to tell you how much fun ive had in the past four years. our friendship has really had an impact on me. my first reall best friend. and it all started with a trip to the echelon mall. how the hell did that happen? when you told me you didnt wanna be considered my "best friend" anymore. honestly. i felt like wed broken up. i wanted to cry and punch someone in the face all at the same time. it sucked. and what sucks worse now. is that like i said, weve grown apart. if we ever wanna become as close again, were gunna have to get to know each other again. its weird. i dont know i just miss the sam and vee thing. vee doesnt fit with anyother name. and neitehr does sam. dumb and dumber. my other half. the little big kid and the hairy beast. crazy times. great memories.
i miss you. <|3

-------------------------------------------

second, shaun. i cant stress this enough. you are. the most- amazing human being ive ever met. you have no idea how fast im falling in love with you. i care about you so much. i could spend all day just sittin with you. on your bed. doin absolutely nothing. and have one of the best days ive ever had. with you, im myself. i can say stupid retarted things. and not have to worry "oh my god. he thinks im an idiot". you know im an idiot. haha. and im glad you accept me for that. i know its only been a couple months. but weve already gone through some shit. im sooo glad weve madeit through. you have no idea. you really dont. your amazing x7689231 and dont let anyone everrrr tell you differently. ♥ i hope this lasts. i could see myself falling so in love with you kid. your really somthing special. oh and by the way, i will beat your spider solitare score. eventually. ♥♥

----------------------------------------

other than that. nothing exciting is going on. i passed my sophomore year. holy shit. loook out. juniors `O7. we run shit ♥ i did happen to fail geometry. by what was it? oh yeah. four fucking points. tell me how its fucking possible. gay. hopefully i dont have to take it again. well see. im leaving for florida in a week. im happy but scared all at once. glad to see my pops and step mom and brothers. but scared ill miss out in jersey. but thats just the typa person i am. scared that i have to fly by myself again. i dont wanna die. esp. not alone. fuck a airplane crash. i hope i make it there and back safe.

mondays fourth of july arleady. tell me `O5 isnt flying bye. im not to sure if its a good or bad thing. like ive said before, well see. so far. this years been unbelievably crazy. no other way to explain it. so much drama has gone down. its fucking insane. just makes you learn more and more about life. and what a bitch it can be... shit happends.

the end.♥♥♥

4 confess | im just messed up..