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justplainolemica
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2004 27 September :: 9.51pm
:: Mood: good
Its my birthday on Weds!
South Bend Indiana. Thats what I think of when I think of my birthday now. Pathetic huh? Yep.
Well I havent updated in so long. Rob and I are still having our fun. He came home for my birthday this Friday. It was cute.
There is also a Bob that is coming into my life. He's one of the sweetest people in the world. So I'm trying not to get ahead of myself but I am really excited.
School's going great too. I guess. I tend to not go much. lol. But I'm passing.
Canada this weekend! Drunk off my ass! Love my friends for coming with. It'll be great!
Random thoughts all over the place sorry.
Something else I'm excited about I wont put in here since Mallory will yell at me. But know that something else exciting is goin on.
Ok, thats all. I'm done. Bored. Will write again sometime
BYE
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justplainolemica
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2004 23 September :: 12.19am
:: Mood: good
happy
Mal yelled at me for not writing.
1 week till my birthday!
There ya go Mal
more later I promise
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cshawks2003
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2004 13 September :: 8.20pm
:: Mood: moody
:: Music: Arrasando ~~~ Thalia
Grrr....
Its been a long time since I've updated...but I dont' have much going on besides work and school. It's kinda weird goin to gvsu Monday, Wednesday and Friday but working tues thurs and saturday. Right now I am at discussions...wohoo **sarcastic**...I am so bored...I was supposed to talk to a friend but he is busy with other stuff grr...I like my other friend jon who is here with us but I wanna talk to my friend mike and I am not getting a chance too....GRRRRRRR I am just kinda moody....oh well...I guess thats about it for now I am just so bored...thats why I'm updating this lol...something I never do...oh well I guess thats it...cya all laters
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daleearnhardtjrishot
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2004 2 September :: 6.06pm
hey all i had a great night...i meet jearmy a few nights ago and last night he just leaned over and kissed me it was great. ben and dave stopped over for a visit they r awesome. i'm gonna miss everyone so much. by the way i didn't get my promotion but i am really looking forward to going now thanks dave you r a life saver.
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daleearnhardtjrishot
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2004 1 September :: 6.33pm
My mom and stepdad are fuckin assholes and i will NOT be in cedar when i come home for xmas. if you wanna see me then i will make plans to meet you at your house or somethin but i will not be talking to them ever again. it sux but its what they want so it is going to happen and they will not be able to reverse it this time. so fuck them.
other then that my life is good. i've been hangin with ben a lot. i am goin to miss him so much. but i am going to miss my lovers steph and stacy more. i am goin to miss you all but i will keep in touch and i expect to get letters back. hopefully i get internet after basic but if not it will only be 22 weeks with out it...ahhhhhhhhhhh...i'll go crazy...stay calm it will be ok....i hope. well i'm going to go pull my hair out. it will be fun. love to all.
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justplainolemica
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2004 31 August :: 11.26pm
:: Mood: bitchy
Fuck
Why are people not what they seem? People claim to be things that they are not. And maybe they dont realize that they are not. They once were whatever this claim is, but it seems as of late that they are not. And its disappointing, but more than that its surprising.
I'm starting to deal with somethings that I shouldda delt with when they happened. But I didnt and now I have to. And that just sucks because its big things that obviously I didnt want to deal with once so I dont want to deal with it now. Also, there is truely no one here. I'm very much looking forward to Friday. Who knows if Rob will really come here or not, but I'm looking forward to talking to him. Hes one of the few, prolly the only person that I feel like I can talk to without COMPLETELY bothering them. Well off to bed now, too much to deal with so I'll sleep it off.
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daleearnhardtjrishot
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2004 30 August :: 9.23am
1. Smoked? yea
>2. Been Drunk as hell? yea
>3. Screwed someone of the opposite sex?yea
>4. Screwed someone of the same sex?no
>5.! Shoplifted?no
>6. Lied?yea
>7. Betrayed a friend?yea
>8. Been to jail?no
>9. Smoked weed?no
>10. Done LSD?no
>11. Done any other illegal drug?no
>12. Given oral sex?yea
>13. Received oral sex?yea
>14.Screwed something not of the human race?no
>15. Screwed something not alive?no
>16. Cheated on someone?no
>17. Used someone?no
>18. Paid someone for sex?no
>19. Been paid for sex?no
>20. Played strip poker?yea
>21. Skipped school?yea
>22. Skipped school to get high/drunk?no
>23. Danced naked?no
>24. Danced naked in public?no
>25. Flashed someone?yea
>26. Mooned someone?no
>27. Kissed someone?yea
>28. Kissed someone of the same sex?yea
>29. Held hands?yea
>30. Hugged someone?yea
>31. French kissed?yea
>32. Had sexual fantasies?yea
>33. Had gay/lesbian fantasies?no
>34. Stolen money?no
>35. Stolen money from family?no
>36. Stolen drugs from family?no
>37. Been convicted of a crime?no
>38. Dated someone because you heard they were'easy'?no
>39. Had someone date you because they thought you were 'easy'?yea
>40. Been called a whore?yea
>41. Been called a bitch?yea
>42. watched porn?yea
>43. Taped porn?no
>44. Watched porn you taped?no
>45. Kissed someone in a moving vehicle?yea
>46. Screwed someone in a moving vehicle?no
>47. Used sex 'toys'?yea
>48. Tried to kill yourself?yea
>49. Tried to kill someone else?no
>50. Told someone you hated them?yea
>51. Told someone you loved them and didn't mean it?no
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justplainolemica
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2004 30 August :: 12.52am
:: Mood: non-good
yep
Never make yourself someones priority while allowing yourself to be their option...
What the hell am I doing? I really dont know. I think I'm ok then one minute that all changes. I think that things arent ok. Then magically they are. I wish I wasnt so psycho. I have so many changes goin on in my head. I wish I just knew what I wanted. I wish I knew what everyone was thinking. What are peopole honestly thinking. And how are things gonna pan out. With every person I know there is possibilities for good and possibilities for bad. And I dont want the bad. I dont want to get hurt anymore. I dont want to fight anymore. I dont want a lot of things anymore. Unfortunately they all seem to be going back to badness. Everything seems to be looking like I'm gonna get hurt. I'm not very optimistic about anything. And I know right now everyone who knows me is thinking that its all Rob. And lots of it is, but lots of it isnt either.
I've been upset about so many things lately. Things that I havent dealt with yet that I just kinda pushed aside and thought would go away. Well it hasnt gone away. Then there are new things. People are asking me to do things or commit to things and then they just kinda leave it alone. And it confuses me and it frustrates me.
So many things. I dont know what to do and think. I wish I had someone to talk to about all this. It doesnt work that way though. I dont have anyone to talk to. I've tried talking to some people and they kinda just blow me off. I guess they think I'm bitching about nothing. And maybe it is nothing but I'm really upset about everything. I dunno bad timing I guess. School is starting and everything is building up. Dunno how much more I can take.
We'll see what happens, because nothing else is gonna happen, nothing is going to be fixed, nothing will change, things will just keep getting worse.
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daleearnhardtjrishot
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2004 29 August :: 11.09pm
so yea this weekend was fuckin great! ben and i went up to hawkins on saturday and played on the 4 wheeler with the kids and had dinner with everyone and watched a movie. then sunday was the mud runs. ben and i made a quick trip home to get his video camera. it was worth the trip. went to the mud runs and had a blast. frank you're still number one to us if that counts for anything. we went and had dinner and ben wasn't feeling well so we played for an hour more on the 4 wheeler and headed home. we didn't talk much on the way home we mainly called other people and sat there and stared into space. i was to sad to be laughing. i had to say goodbye to part of my family and a few friends today and it was hard. i know that ben knows how i feel though and did his best to make me happy. and just so everyone knows i didn't sleep with him like everyone thought i would. being friends with him is all i need right now. i'm gonna miss him so much. stacy to bad u had that gay meeting cuz u would have had fun too. it was great i can't even tell u how much this weekend meant to me. well i'm off to bed i'm beat.
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justplainolemica
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2004 26 August :: 9.39pm
:: Mood: confused
oye ve
So someone just left. And we just had a confusing coversation. Basically he doesnt want me to have *cough* with Rob anymore. He wants to start dating. Says that I'll never know if I want a serious relationship or not unless I try something. But I dunno, I think that I might get hurt that way. Actually I know that I'll get hurt that way. I dunno. I like the kid and all, I just really dont think that I'm ready to be with someone. Especially someone who wants something serious. I know I'm not ready for that. I told him that I would keep *cough* with Rob and I'd keep going out on dates. I told him I'd keep doing what I'm doing until he and I decide to date. Which he wants to do now but I dont. We havent even gone out. I mean we sat at the apartment and drank and watched a movie. And I'd like to know how much I'd actually see this kid. I mean, he works 3rd shift and is in school. So who knows. Grrr the confusion.
I dont know what to do. I guess I'll figure it out later. I dont want to deal with it now.
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justplainolemica
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2004 25 August :: 11.13pm
:: Mood: tooth hurts
hi
So its been brought to my attention that more than Miss Mallory reads this here journal. There is a potential for a little Mallory to be reading this. Which is welcome and ok. But I think I should begin to censor my journal. I never knew that I had a younger than 16 audience.
LOL Prolly not. I hate to think about what I'm writing, I just like to sit and write.
Ok, so heres whats up lately. I moved out- YEA! Rob moved too- Boo (but just a little boo... I am NOT dependant on that boy) Liz is definitely lookin preggers- boo. Matt, what can you say, I'm worried about the kid- boo.... Ok summery- boo's win it!
So life seems rather boo lately.
There are thoughts to insert here. Ones deep and full of mica whining. Lotsa prince in shining armor analogies. But I dont wanna put them in... take a moment and put them in mentally.....
Ok enough. My neck hurts so I'm gonna go lay down. Goodnight
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daleearnhardtjrishot
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2004 25 August :: 5.33pm
Lose one friend,
lose all friends,
lose yourself
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daleearnhardtjrishot
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2004 25 August :: 10.57am
what a fucken day this is going to be...i didn't make my two mile or situps so no promotion for me...all that work for nothing...and i'm over my weight and body fat %...kory is pissed at me and won't talk to me so i can find out what i did wrong...chances are i'm not going to hawkins this weekend...so prolly no fun with ben either...i thought things were going to be good before i left but i guessed wrong...instead i'm losing everyone i care about and kor doesn't even know how much i really do want him cuz i'm afraid of hurting him...and my mom is pissed at me for something...so what the fuck am i doing wrong??? why does it seem like i fuck everything up?? i'm just a fuck up and hopefully i die in the army so i don't have to deal with it anymore
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daleearnhardtjrishot
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2004 23 August :: 1.11pm
HAWKINS MUD DRAGS
SATURDAY AUGUST 28
3PM
ANYONE WHO WANTS TO GO GIVE ME A CALL
MY TRUCK IS PROLLY FULL BUT WE'LL WORK IT OUT
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