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--*Being Alone*--

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:: 2004 8 January :: 3.37 pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: None...I need the radio on...

Umm...Cookies and Cream
well i love yogurt...esp strawberry whipped...mmmmm.....yea i know u didnt want to know that...whosh dorkiness...today was a pretty good day...first period where i sit now is really good cause i pay attention more cause im not tryin to mess around and stuff...yup in second i had to walk around the school and got lost...whosh...then 3rd my dumbass teacher moved me...but it doesnt matter...me and carrie sit at the same spot of but i moved one seat up and chris sits in between us..it doesnt matter cause i talk to erica that sits in front of me and chris behind me nad i can still talk to carrie cause she is still close...hehe...4th arg ap...i dont wnat to get into that but im really starting to hate rich people...dont ask...they are soo arg...lunch was boring...only part that amuses me was me dissing matt...i felt bad cause the thing i said but w.e...5th period was boring...english sux...6th was ummm i dont know...hehe....7th was interesting hte lesson was really easy and i understand it...i understood everything today..whoo hoo...8th was ummmm interesting...hehe...im sooo confused about this stupid marcos thing...arg...people are making such a big deal out of it...im not gettin into it...i just dont know what i want and i dont want to get into that at the moment...arg...i think my sis wants to go out tomororw or sat...not sure...but im goin to refuse but ill have to go so w/e...arg...illness...i feel sick but not sick sick...i feel weird...hehe...i dont know...well i dont know what else to say...hehe bye bye

Update...i cant find my black nailpolish...oh wellz..i just remembered that i learned something today...i dont like guys that curse a lot...i dont mind cursing much but some guys like curse every other word and its annoying...hmmm...guess what?...i found my nail polish and got music hehe...

oh yea...carrie remember burn me the yellowcard cd...jerrica remember the finch cd...thanx bunches...

the read more thing...is just some song lyrics that i like...
Read more..

Crush ME


:: 2004 7 January :: 3.58 pm
:: Mood: unbelivablely horrible

FUCK OFF!!!
Look at my horoscope::
Something just doesn't feel right. It's hard to put your finger on, but you know it's not working out. Listen to yourself on this one. Don't drag things out. Take immediate action and be done with it.

okay...anywho...fuck fuck fuck...thats all i can say...im so frustarated...today was actually a good day other than the issues...ill explain when im done with school stuff..well in all my classes i understand the actual lesson...its really good to come back and understand...i might do better this semester...we will see...arg i have a complete outline due tomororw thats long for my ap class...i hate it...as soon as i go back i already have work due plus more...my lips are chapped...hmm i need my lip gloss...i hate the weather...i hate how its hot one day and cold the next...i get sick like this...this is how i was sick all x-mas break...it was gay as hell...wow i just got mail...i got two more university thingys...gosh they are gay...i want to hear from universities i want to go to but w.e...i guess im not wanted there...oh wellz...im not wanted anywhere...today i yelled at matt twice...man I HATE HIM...this morning he kept spitting and burping on purpose out of boredom or something and i started yellin at him to stop and have courtesy for us...then he wouldnt stop so i relocated our group...then at lunch i was explainin something to mike and crystal..ill tell what in a min...i yelled at him to get out of our business...he is soo annnoying...he wont listen to anyone...arg....anywho now to the issues...the main one is caused by my sis and mike...i have no isses of them goin out...but i do have issues on how my sister is acting...she already has skipped class to see him...they make out everywhere...she has been late to her classes because of him...she changes things about herself so she doesnt look bad and so that he will still like her...also now since she found someone she thinks hmmm donna needs to find someone now since i have someone...she fuckin advertises (sp) me to guys like im some pathetic loser...im sorry i dont need help in that field...cause i want no one...that simple...damn it...arg....fuck...i hate this...then when i got home my dog is sick...he is like hmm 12 years old and i had him since i was like 4...so he means a lot to me...i dont know anything anymore...im soo frustarated...oh yea...then jessica is tryin to get me in everything...i dont want to get into the crystal and mike thing...i had enough of them...i just dont care anymore...fuck...im think im goin to takl to my mom about things cause it seems that the only way my sis will straighten up...i dont know...its just soo fuckin annoying...im even goin to refuse to go out anywhere...i dont care if im stuck in this house forever as long as my sis is not out there...another thing...my sister asks me all the time why people think she is a slut or a hoe...or why am i gettin late soo much and why am i gettin detention...and why does she do bad in school...she blames everyone else but herself for those things....its her fuckin fault...she is way too fuckin obsessed with guys and her social shit that she doesnt care about anything else but that and herself...wow...my cat is driving me nuts again...arg i better go start on hw...so ill talk you guys later...bye bye....

A friend told me about this song...and i liked the lyrics...THANX...

Konstantine
by Something

I can't imagine all the people that you know
and the places that you go
when the lights are turned down low
and I don't understand all the things you've seen
but i'm slipping inbetween
you and your big dreams
it's always you
in my big dreams

and you tell me that it's over
wake up lying in a patch of four leaf clovers
and your restless, and i'm naked
you've gotta get out
you can't stand to see me shaking
no
could you let me go?
I didn't think so

and you don't wanna be here in the future
so you say the present's just a pleasent interruption to the past
and you don't wanna look much closer
cuz your afraid to find out all this hope
you had sent into the sky by now had crashed
and it did
because of me

and then you bring me home
afraid to find out that you're alone
and i'm sleeping in your living room
but we don't have much room to live

I had these dreams that i learned to play guitar
maybe cross the country
become a rock star
and there was hope in me that i could take you there
but dammit you're so young
well i don't think i care
and if i hurt you
then i'm sorry
please don't think that this was easy

then you bring me home
cuz we both know what it's like to be alone
and i'm dreaming in your living room
but we don't have much room to live

and konstantine is walking down the stairs
doesn't she look good
standing in her underwear
and i was thinking
what i was thinking
we've been drinking and it doesn't get me anywhere

my Konstantine came walking down the stairs
and all that i could do is touch her long blonde hair
and i've been thinking
it hurts me thinking that these nights
when we were drinking no they never got us anywhere
no

this is because i can spell konfusion with a k
and i like it
it's to dying in another's arms and why I had to try it
it's to jimmy eat world and those nights in my car
when the first star you see may not be a star
I'm not your star
isn't that what you said
what you thought this song meant

and if this is what it takes
just to lie in my mistakes
and live with what i did to you
and all the hell I put you through
I always catch the clock
it's 11:11
and now you want to talk
it's not hard to dream
you'll always be my konstantine

konstantine, they'll never hurt you like i do
no they'll never hurt you like i do
no, no, no no no no no no

this is to a girl who got into my head
with all the pretty things she did
hey
you know
you keep me up in bed
this is to a girl who got into my head
with all the fucked up things i did
hey
maybe
baby
you could keep me up in bed
my Konstantine
spin around me like a dream we played out on this movie screen
and i said
did you know i missed you? [x7]
oh god i miss you

and then you bring me home
and we'll go to sleep, but this time, not alone, no no
and you'll kiss me in your living room
i know
you'll miss me in your living room
cuz these nights i think maybe that i'll miss you in my living room
we don't have much room
i said does anybody need that room?
because we all need a little more room
to live

my Konstantine

9 Crushed ME | Crush ME


:: 2004 6 January :: 4.56 pm
:: Mood: apathetic

yea this is public i know...i just am too lazy to click for friends only plus jerrica is havin issues with comments when they are friends only so this will be public for the time being or forever...so anywho...today was pretty cool...i got my new schedule and only two periods change...i get to work in student affairs second period...and i got sport injry class 8th...so im good...the rest is the same...8th period my teacher assigned me to this football player...he is kinda cute...hehe...oh wellz...i got my happy bunny blanket...whoo hoo....my cat is sleepin on my lap and wont let me type...arg meany...hehe...i love plaid...whosh...its getting cold outside...hmm whoo hoo i like cold...i dont get people...with the help of some friends...i discovered that im a people pleaser...and i seem to let ppl take my emotions over...and i always worry about and care about ppl over myself...so im goin to try to stop pleasing ppl and take care of myself...i really need to take care of myself bad...i think thats the issue...fuck ppl...llove me...hehe...today i got marrie to the love of my life...carrie...okay ppl im not gay...that was out of complete boredom and stupidity,...the wedding was beautiful...im obsessed with guys...whosh way too much i think...hehe...well i gtg take some advil...man i feel like shit...i havent eaten or slept or realyl done anything...arg whats wrong..hehe bye bye

Fine Again
by Seether

It seems like everydays the same
and I’m left to discover on my own
It seems like everything is gray
and there’s no color to behold
They say it’s over and I’m fine again, yeah
Try to stay sober feels like I’m dying here

And I am aware now of how
everything’s gonna be fine one day
Too late, I’m in hell I am prepared now,
seems everyone’s gonna be fine
One day too late, just as well

I feel the dream in me expire
and there’s no one left to blame it on
I hear you label me a liar
‘cause I can’t seem to get this through
You say it’s over, I can sigh again, yeah
Why try to stay sober when I’m dying here

And I am aware now of how
everything’s gonna be fine one day
Too late, I’m in hell
I am prepared now,
seems everyone’s gonna be fine
One day too late; just as well

And I’m not scared now.
I must assure you,
you’re never gonna get away
And I’m not scared now.
And I’m not scared now. No…

I am aware now of how
everything’s gonna be fine one day
Too late, I’m in hell
I am prepared now
seems everyone’s gonna be fine
One day too late, just as well
I am prepared now,
seems everything’s gonna be fine
For me, for me, for myself.
For me, for me, for myself
For me, for me, for myself
I am prepared now for myself
I am prepared now, and I am fine again

4 Crushed ME | Crush ME


:: 2004 5 January :: 8.43 pm

whoo hoo im getting married tomorrow...SCORE!

6 Crushed ME | Crush ME


:: 2004 5 January :: 2.59 pm

man im indecisive...im not sure if i should make this public or friends only..hmm...

2 Crushed ME | Crush ME


:: 2004 4 January :: 4.17 pm



SORRY!

2 Crushed ME | Crush ME

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