babaloo181
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2004 9 October :: 9.51pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: same as song listed
such a pretty song... cough britney's a bitch cough ... hehe
Never Again
by Justin Timberlake
Would have given up my life for you
Guess it's true what they say about love
It's blind
Girl, you lied straight to my face
Looking in my eyes
And I believed you 'cause I loved you more than life
And all you had to do
Was apologize
You didn't say you're sorry
I don't understand
You don't care that you hurt me
And now I'm half the man
That I used to be when it was you and me
You didn't love me enough
My heart may never mend
And you'll never get to love me, again
No, no, no, no, no, no
Sadness has me at the end of the line
Helpless watched you break this heart of mine
And loneliness only wants you back here with me
Common sense knows that you're not good enough for me
And all you had to do
Was apologize, and mean it
But you didn't say you're sorry
I don't understand
You don't care that you hurt me
And now I'm half the man
That I used to be when it was you and me
You didn't love me enough
My heart may never mend
And you'll never get to love me
Wish like hell I could go back in time
Maybe then I could see how
Forgiveness says that I should give you one more try
But it's too late, it's over now
You didn't say you're sorry
I don't understand
You don't care that you hurt me
And now I'm half the man
That I used to be when it was you and me
You didn't love me enough
My heart may never mend
And you'll never get to love me
Again ,yeah
Again, yeah, yeah
Again, again, again, yeah, yeah, yeah
Never get to love me
Crush ME
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babaloo181
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2004 9 October :: 9.25pm
:: Mood: frustrated
:: Music: feels like home by chantal... some freaky ass last name..
*elongated sigh*
today was an awful day... i ended up being like 43 bucks short at my register.. and i dont know how in the world that happened..cuz im thought i had done all my change correctly.. but the lady said it was prolly some sort of debit thing... so i dont know.. but i'll prolly get written up.. and if it happens again i think i get fired.. i dont know... im so pissed at myself though.. but w/e wat can u do.. oh today i saw this kid that i hadn't seen since mid school... joseph... he was ugly in mid school but now.. he's not that bad.. he like yelled my name from across the store.. i was like wtf.. hehe.. and then i recognized him and i was like oh hey! ... i ate at quiznos subs today.. it was yummy.. i had this like smoked turkey thing.. it was good.. i worked from 11-7 today.. aww man my feet r killing me... good thing tomorrow i only work from 2-7 ... plus i gotta get some hw done... i keep meaning to call rachael too.. but i forget.. i've been meaning to call her for like a week and a half now... but w/e ill talk to her tomorrow or something i guess... colin called me last nite and i talked to him for a whole 5 min... the only time i've heard his voice this whole week... im so sick of this fuckin situation.. i love him.. i should be able to see him... this is really fucking pissing me off.. and the fact that im not gonna see him this whole year .. or at least that's what it looks like.. it just really depresses me... but w/e the point is he called to let me know he HAD gotten moto... which is like ... this 2 week thing where u have like no free time to do anything.. they plan ur day out completely .. to the last second... and they make em do like physical labor and stuff.. it sucks... i wrote him a letter the other day... school's goin alrite i guess... i really want summer vacation to come around... or even just christmas... christmas always makes me happy... :D ... aww u gotta love christmas... my presents rn't usually all the great but it's the christmas "feeling" that makes the holiday all worthwhile... everyone's all cheery.. well except at toy stores where ppl turn into beasts.. haha.... ::sigh:: parents... i was supposed to get payed today.. i forgot to get my check... whoops... oh well... not like i have anything to spend my money on anyway.. hehe it's funny cuz i have money coming in now.. but i have no desire to spend any of it... ooh i forgot.. colin wanted me to buy us rings.. and send it to him so he can wear it... but i gotta go to the mall for that.. as soon as football season's over and donna's not busy friday's ill go wit her to the mall and hang out and ill buy it there... i really hope everything goes well wit work from now on.. i mean the lady told me not to worry too much bout it cuz it happened to some other new girl in the last couple of days.. but still.. the thing is i dont know how to fix the problem cuz i have no idea how it even happened in the first place... i was really careful... agh... w/e... i gotta stop fussing.. and then when i got home my mom kept asking me what was goin on cuz i looked sad.. and i was like im fine just leave me alone.. but she kept insisting and insisting and it just got me really fucking frustrated so i started cryin and i told her what happened and i was like there? r u happy can u leave me alone now?! ... but w/e i should go cuz im really tired and all i wanna do is sleep... goodnite everyone.. and i hope u guys had a good day. nite nite ...
tonite's song: cannonball by damien rice
Crush ME
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babaloo181
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2004 8 October :: 7.55pm
:: Mood: sick of this continual bullshit we call reality..
:: Music: heart translplant by punchline
"for every girl who ever broke my heart, for every fucked up friend who played that part.. i have lost my faith in finding humanity" -- second best by pulley
.. yucky week.. can only get yuckier.. im sick of school.. can't wait to get the fuck out ... i miss colin... life sucks... i think im gettin fat... the end.
tonite's song: paper rock scissors by jamison parker.. it sums up exactly how i feel.. it's on my profile if any of u care to take a look..
"GO TO HELL .. WHO NEEDS U!?!"-- heart transplant by punchline ... that's pretty much how i feel towards everybody rite now .. so in other words.. fuck off
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jus4fun06
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2004 4 October :: 9.22pm
she is fed up with havin a boyfriend.
screw guys
they suck
balls~
3 Crushed ME |
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babaloo181
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2004 2 October :: 7.24pm
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: you mean the world to me by punchline
im pooped!
well today was my first official day of work... last saturday i went thru the video training but today i actually got to work.. and i got payed for last week.. 30.49 go me! hehe that was 5 hours worth of work... aww man im so tired.. and all i did was work for 4 hours today.. tomorrow im workin for 8!!! haha omg ima be soo tired.. .and i was too shy to ask for a lunch break.. so i went all 4 hours without takin a break to eat.. or even sit down! which is kinda illegal cuz it's considered "child abuse" haha ... but w/e it was cool... for like the first two hours i worked the register wit diff ppl helpin me to make sure i did everything rite.. haha donna stopped by! she made me all nervous i kept screwin up hehe... but then cuz of the Bucs game tomorrow.. it started gettin really busy so they told me to bag instead cuz it wasn't a good day to train ... so i started baggin and then the lady who took my place had to go get her lunch break so this kid came and took her place.. he's in high school too.. jefferson.. and he's not too shabby.. hehe he kept askin me what school i go to and when was my homecoming and wat not.. cool guy.. he was sweet ... man i was so hungry when i got home! i bought a salad from the deli there wit my own money ::proud:: hehe ... fuck and i still have to do hw... ima be so worn out when track starts and i have hw, track, AND work... aww man ima be like collapsing on my bed every nite... haha that sucks... oh well i kinda like being busy.. it helps keep my mind off of how crappy things r rite now... which is good... i dont know y but i've been kinda pessimistic lately bout everything.. like nothing makes me happy...but im tryin to stop focusin on that and yarita's helpin me :) ... OOH GUESS WHAT?! the spongebob movie's comin out soon! hehe i asked rachael today to come see it wit me.. cuz i wanna hang out wit her again and she'd be the perfect person to take to something like that hahaha ... me and her have the same retarded sense of humor hehe so ya it'll work... i talked to michael online today... he was sweet at times and then a meanie at other times haha ... like i sent him a pic of me cuz he wanted to see the red in my hair.. and i was like jesus i smile so big! haha .. and he goes .. yea but it IS a pretty smile.. i was like aww that's sweet hehe ... owwie my feet hurt ... i dont have too much hw due monday which is good.. but ima have to start really usin my ja's wisely instead of talkin to natalia the whole time.. cuz they would really help man.. alritey well ima go and talk to yara and play some scrabble.. buhz byez ppls
tonite's song: my favorite accident by motion city soundtrack
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jus4fun06
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2004 2 October :: 1.07am
[{whispers a secret}] --- [{she is afaid of wangs}]
she eats all the cookies with the bitterness of regret on her tounge. she was such a bad girl tonight. was that even her she asks? the pictures dont lie. she is so torn. will guys ever care more about her than her body? is there more to life than sex? she was so happy for a lil. he imed her and ruined it. there is still hope. maybe.
she just wants someone to hold her in their arms.
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jus4fun06
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2004 29 September :: 5.32pm
:: Mood: mature
this is what i wrote last year this time
------**--------
Something is wrong with me. I cried a lot last night. All cuz of him. I feel so pathetic. Is it so wrong to still want him? Wat I need is for him to yell at me or something. If he called me a bitch to my face or made out infront of me, maybe I would be able to accept that he DOES NOT like me!!! Yesterday, I was walking past him and after I walked past he followed me, going to his third period class. Hes never done that before. He walked be hin dme. I thought he was behind me so I turned to see him and I gave him a confused look, like is he following me? And he said, heyhey. And I said hi and he smiled at me and said, you better say hi to me. I was confused and looked it and he jus laughed and smiled. I miss him~
----**-----
thoughts on it now
awww. i sound so cute. i do miss him still but not as bad as i did before. i wish i still did talk to my ex, but ya kno, you cant ask for everything. last year i kno he did care for me a lil afterwards. i mean why else would we like be friends with benifits for another year? wow, think abou it. we became friends with benifits until about a year after we broke up. so technically ive been with him for like two years. hmm. well its ok. im over and im glad i am over him.
another thing that has changed about me is the way i deal with things. last year, everything made me depressed. i was so depressed last year. this year i hang out with all these "townies". the nice ones that is. hmm well ya. later~
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jus4fun06
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2004 28 September :: 8.59pm
:: Mood: sad
wantign what you cant have is the worst thing ever
i jus want him.
is that so wrong?
i dont want to mess anythign up though...
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babaloo181
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2004 27 September :: 5.37pm
babaloo181: do u think bout me a lot?
lagthecollapse7: lol
lagthecollapse7: baby
lagthecollapse7: i never stop thinking about you..
-- and that's y i love him...
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babaloo181
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2004 25 September :: 10.35pm
colin sent me this poem in a letter... apparently they read it in his english class...it was written by a woman bout her husband so he switched all the he's and she's and husband's and womans so that it would make sense ... as if it was from him to me... i dont know if that made sense but w/e look..originally it was called To my dear and loving husband but he switched it to my dear and loving wife... see what i mean? k well here's the poem.. i thought it was really sweet:
If ever two were one, then surely we,
If ever woman were lov'd by husband, then thee;
If ever husband was happy in a woman,
compare me ye men if you can.
I prize thy love more than whole mines of gold,
Or all the riches that the East doth hold.
My love is such that rivers cannot quench,
Nor ought but love from thee, give recompense.
Thy love is such i can no way repay.
The heavens reward thee manifold, i pray.
Then while we live, in love let's so perservere,
That when we live no more, we may live ever.
Crush ME
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