jus4fun06
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2004 6 September :: 1.16pm
for all the members of xanga:
i have a freakin xanga, go to it ok? thats where my life is going. i dont want you ogign here and readign this shit.. i need to have somethign private, so fuck off!
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jus4fun06
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2004 6 September :: 1.06pm
i wish a certain perosn wouldnt read this
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jus4fun06
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2004 6 September :: 11.32am
boooooored
Hiding. You deal with your depression by wearing a mask. No one ever knows your depressed, so no one can ever pity you. On the outside you're calm and collected. Inside, your blood boils... But that's ok, as long as everyone thinks you're normal.
How do you deal with your depression?
brought to you by Quizilla
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jus4fun06
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2004 5 September :: 11.02pm
Jus4fun06
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babaloo181
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2004 5 September :: 6.03pm
take my quiz ... so far yara's in the lead wit 80 percent
http://www.quizyourfriends.com/takequiz.php?quizname=040905173556-lil~p27~p20ol~p27~p20thaimi~p20fina
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babaloo181
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2004 5 September :: 1.10pm
:: Mood: melancholy
:: Music: let that be enough by switchfoot
one good day among a hundred bad ones... but hey ... i gotta start somewhere eh?
i got to see him yesterday! ... oh that made my day! ... his school had to evacuate cuz it's in melbourne and well they came down to this school in st. pete admirral furagut or some shit like that ... but they took all the students to international plaza and i met up wit him there .. along wit liz, chris, and matt ... it was so great...aww man it felt so good to hug him again... it was so funny cuz i saw him and i literally like ran up to him and jumped into his arms...and he like spun me around... it was nice... i missed him so much ... i got to kiss him and spend time wit him and aww it was so great! but today he left for melbourne... which sucks cuz that's long distance so we're not gonna be able to talk as much as we did this weekend... like last nite we talked till like 11 ... from like 7 30 to 11 ... it was so wonderful. .. i love talkin to him ... im gonna miss him so much ... this sucks... he wants me to write him a letter for everyday we're away hehe aww ... i gotta get some freakin stamps man... he has my address now though ... he sent nancy (his friend's mom) a letter for me cuz he didnt have my address and he said that in it he made a list of all the things he misses about me and how he kept having to go back and add things to it as he wrote the letter... i wanna see it ... i gotta call nancy and give her my address to send it to me ... but yea yesterday was really really nice... who knows when ima see him again..hopefully it's soon... the next time he gets vacation is thanksgiving ... which is like ...fuck that's 3 months away... agh...oh well hopefully there's another hurricane ... hehe... such a strange thing to be wishing for i know.... alrite well i gotta go and do my latin hw for this week so ill talk to u guys later. i love u baby and i miss u very much :* !!
tonite's song: come back by the early november
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babaloo181
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2004 1 September :: 5.26pm
:: Mood: better...
:: Music: am i not yours by cursive
i talked to my baby!
he called me today.. thru at&t long distance..but my mom said it was alrite ... aww yay! he's absolutely miserable though.. he hates it there ... he says everything reminds him of me ... cuz like during study hall i would always write little notes all over his stuff .. and he's using the same supplies for military school... and so everytime he opens something up he finds a little note from me ... and he says he hates it cuz it makes him wanna cry knowing that he can't be with me ... i miss him so much... hearing his voice though ... that made my day... fuck that .. my week ... ima send him a letter tomorrow ... i think i can handle being away from him for a while but i dont think he can ... just cuz he's so depressed and angry.... his school's evacuating this weekend cuz of the hurricane ... the colonel gave them the choice of coming down to a military school in st. pete or goin home ... he called his mom to see if he could go home and she said no... what a bitch... that pisses me off cuz i mite have been able to see him ... agh. .. god i miss him so much i just wanna like give him a big hug ... everyone keeps telling me that im not myself anymore ... im not all smiley... but i can't help but not be smiley ... school's horrible... everywhere i look it reminds me of him ... every class i had with him .. looking at his empty chair just makes me want to cry ... knowing that he hates his life rite now ... agh it just kills me .. i feel so helpless though cuz there's not much i can do for him .. to make him feel better ... and as if all that shit wasn't enough ... i dont think ima be able to go to europe .. my mom has no money rite now and the cut for the trip is almost over ... w/e ... im not enthusiastic about anything anymore ... it all sucks ... i hate being all mopey ... and i know other ppl hate it too cuz like i can tell it's pissing shilpa off but w/e dude fuck that cuz u know what? she doesn't understand what it feels like .. she doesn't realize that i have the rite to be completely depressed cuz the one person who made my day worthwhile has been taken away from me ... so w/e... it's gotten to the point where everyday i literally count the minutes till it's over and i get to go home and just sulk ... i find myself praying for the weekend to arrive .. cuz walking around that school and seeing all the couples ... agh.. it kills me ... i hate this ... it sucks so bad ... this year was supposed to be fun... it was supposed to be the year that i went to homecoming... got my car... had more freedom... saw colin often... did awesome in school.... but that's all down the fucking drain ... cuz not having colin around makes me not give a fuck about school ... makes my days miserable... it just sucks ... i know u guys r prolly sick of reading bout me bitching and moaning but i dont really give a fuck cuz at school... i find myself trying to smile a little to make everyone else not feel uncomfortable but on my own fucking journal i could care less who gets ticked off ... cuz the truth is im fucking miserable ... and if anyone can change that to where i go back to being myself ... then be my guest... but seeing as u guys rn't colin.. i dont see that happening ... so anyway .. the point of this entry is to say that i got to talk to him ... i smiled... honestly smiled ... for the first time in like a week ... i love that boy... so yea .. everyone else.. have fun wit ur wonderful lives ....
tonite's song: note to self by from first to last
"note to self: i miss you terribly"
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babaloo181
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2004 29 August :: 3.07pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: the future freaks me out by motion city soundtrack
our song...
Hey where did we go, days when the rain came.
Down in the hollow, playin' a new game.
Laughin' and a runnin' , hey hey, skippin' and a jumpin'
In the misty mornin' fog with our hearts a thumpin' at you,
The Brown-Eyed Girl
You're my Brown-Eyed Girl
Now what ever happened, Tuesday is so slow,
Goin' down the old man river, with a transistor radio
Standin' in the sunlight laughin'
Hidin' behind a rainbow wall
Slippin' and a slidin', all along the waterfall with you,
The Brown-Eyed Girl
You're my Brown-Eyed Girl.
Do you remember when, ah we used to sing
Sha la la la la la la la la la la dee dah
Sha la la la la la la la la la la dee dah
La dee dah
So hard to find my way, now that I'm all on my own
I saw you just the other day, my how you had grown,
(.. ) Sometimes overcome thinkin' bout,
Makin love in the green grass, behind the stadium with you.
The Brown-Eyed Girl
You, my Brown-Eyed Girl.
Do you remember when, ah we used to sing
Sha la la la la la la la la la la dee dah
Sha la la la la la la la la la la dee dah
La dee dah
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jus4fun06
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2004 29 August :: 12.48pm
meh meh meh
vivaladan3: Yea sorry my dad just came in and kicked me off
DANIBANANNI: meh its ok
Auto response from vivaladan3: Your IM has been sent to my mobile device. When I receive it, I will be able to reply. Thanks for your IM! Want your IMs forwarded to your phone? Click here
vivaladan3: What is meh
DANIBANANNI: i have no idea
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DANIBANANNI: am i costing u money?
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vivaladan3: Yup
DANIBANANNI: oh sorry
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babaloo181
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2004 29 August :: 10.38am
:: Mood: scared
:: Music: nothing
and just when u think things are looking up...it all comes crashing down again..
hi ppl.... yesterday at like 4 .. colin called me .. in tears... and told me that the cops found him and that he's gonna be sent off to military school....i hate this ... i mean he may not be the most well-behaved child of them all but ... the kid doesn't deserve this... they can like sign off a waiver allowing the military ppl to like hit him... that's such bullshit.. he's gonna be so miserable... and im really worried cuz he already feels like he has nothing to live for ... cuz i mean his own family doesn't want him and his education is pretty much ruined since his dad withdrew him from the ib program ... so i mean now that feeling's just gonna grow... i hope he's strong enough to make it through all this ... cuz if anything happens to him .. wow i dont even wanna think about that .. .but yea im just kinda sitting around waiting for him to contact me and let me know everything's alrite... i hope he'll be ok ...
tonite's song: i miss my friend by darryl woley (sp?) ... great song .. so sweet...
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