::
2003 14 December :: 8.14 pm
:: Mood: so painful
a tear floats away, heart ripped in two
i want to be better, be better for you
i wish i could fly because then i wouldn't have to see
i wouldn't have to see what i do to you
i cause the pain i want so badly to go away
i make you like this, i make you like me
please be stronger, so much stronger then me
hold on because if you do then i am holding too
you are my tears, my hope, my everything
i want to be okay for you, i try i really do
i want everythign you've ever hoped for me to come true
i want to make you proud, i don't wan to hurt you
im sorrry for doing this to you i promise i'll try
its just so hard sometimes
i want to say goodbye in the worst possible way
i just want to leave so i dont have to see what i do to you anymore
i love you more then i can say, it hurts to say it
hurting the person i love the most every day without words
im sorry, im sorry
-i love you-
2 mug of juices |
pimp juice? |
::
2003 14 December :: 10.59 am
:: Mood: panicky
:: Music: some movie
eh
movies yesterday. nothing interesting, saw stuck on you. really really long and stupid movie but oh well.
3 mug of juices |
pimp juice? |
::
2003 13 December :: 12.14 pm
:: Mood: jealous, seeithing with rage...whatever same thing
:: Music: tick tock tick tock
jealousy is a bitch
lenny call me today we chill yes? last night was akward in an...akward way. but it was all set right becuase my boys were there.
pimp juice? |
::
2003 12 December :: 5.48 am
:: Mood: pissed off
:: Music: 99x
skipped yesterday with andrew michelle and lenny. did some cool stuff. went to the beach, yup.
thats all
pimp juice? |
::
2003 11 December :: 5.53 am
:: Mood: dead
:: Music: taking back sunday
i dont care anymore
I am updating for everyone that cares and yells at me to update, which would be a grand total of no one. yes im feeling left out lately but i dont care. i couldn't care less about anyone right now and thats the truth.
'walked away heard them say poisoned hearts will never change'
2 mug of juices |
pimp juice? |
::
2003 5 December :: 6.03 am
nothing new. talked to collin, he is filed trip king haha. uhm tonights gonna suck, stupid fucking cheerleading xmas party. im gonna see if i can leave around 9 and see my boys at bell tower. oh well. im still confused, still wanting two differnt things. nothings solved. oh well
_ernie_
3 mug of juices |
pimp juice? |
::
2003 3 December :: 5.58 am
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: blowdryer, stupid thing
Teddy Ruxpin
i have to say i am quite dissapointed with the lack of knowledge on teddy ruxpin, i suppose i was the only 5 year old with a talking bear! sheesh anyway. yeserday was a little akward but got better towards the end of the day. fun night though. boy call me and it made me smile, i like making new friends. uhmmmmmmmm i think thats all. oh michelle, the nice nice person she is, droved me home again yesterday cuz key club was cacneled.
4 mug of juices |
pimp juice? |
::
2003 2 December :: 5.49 am
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: blowdryer
split day
alrighty, the good part about yesterday: michelle drove me home and we had the windows down blasting NIN and eating mcdonalds, can't beat that.
bad part: andrew is being odd. well...i dunno were both just too damn stubborn and won't apologize. and 'jordan' is a dick. if that was him, i dont know. stupid boys
ernie
3 mug of juices |
pimp juice? |
::
2003 1 December :: 5.54 am
:: Mood: warm (mentally not physcially)
:: Music: MTV
'How the hell'd we wind up like this?'
Review of thanksgiving break:
movies
lennys
champagne w/ lenny at house
movies w/charles and others
movies w/ annie and others
progress on the list
yeah so i haven't been home for more then a totaly of 24 hours in the last week, woo its insane but i like it so hey its okay. yesterday cheerleading...pain in the ass. ha found out paxton (still) likes me. hes so cute makes me smile =) yes well im done rambling now.
1 mug of juice |
pimp juice? |
::
2003 30 November :: 11.50 am
Boy who...
..Wears- what he wants no matter what anyone else thinks
..Talks- so fast becuase he thinks faster then his mouth
..Looks- like hes from a dream i once had
..Will- love me for everything i am, even my fucked up parts
..Won't- criticize me for things he doesnt understand
..Can- argue with me for hours over music :)
..Can't- stay away from me
..Wants- the best for himself
..Calls- me his
..Isn't- cocky or stuck up
..Loves- cold starry nights
..Doesn't- ever give up on me, even when ive given up on myself
i stole it from tina, thanks my lil gal.
3 mug of juices |
pimp juice? |
::
2003 30 November :: 11.26 am
:: Mood: worried
:: Music: Janes addiction
High Flying Hawks
*sigh* last night was pretty damn fun actually. i love when you can be in the most akward situation but since you know the people so well around you, its just funny. yupyup. annie if you read this im sorry for writing about whoever or whatever in my journal, i didn't mean to make you mad or anything. i love you <3
but yeah we saw timeline last night and it was pretty damn boring but oh well i wasn't paying tha tmuch attention to it. lenny thank you for making progress on our list!!!
3 mug of juices |
pimp juice? |
::
2003 29 November :: 10.46 am
:: Mood: cold :=)
:: Music: Nirvana
blah its cold out and i love it! its like fall in chicago yay! uhm not much to say. i actually ended up hanging out with morgan last night and i sawed some ppl. it was great fun, lots of pretty boys. cept my pretty boy wasn't there which made me frown :( oh well.
ernie
4 mug of juices |
pimp juice? |
::
2003 28 November :: 9.21 am
:: Mood: pshashnad
You are Loss.
Your life defines tragedy. You have experienced
great hardships on an unimaginable scale and it
has jaded your view of life.
What Emotion Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
pimp juice? |
::
2003 28 November :: 9.03 am
:: Mood: fat
:: Music: silence ooo
yay yesterday was teribbly akward but then lenny came and saved me! we drank champagne, harhar, and ate some food. it was grand and her hair is PRETTY i wanna see annies hair!!!! uhm....nothing new really besides that i think me and morgan are hanging out today, dunno yet.
ernie
1 mug of juice |
pimp juice? |
::
2003 27 November :: 10.36 am
:: Mood: fat
:: Music: Macys thanksgiving day parade on tv :=)
Happy Turkey eating day yay
alrighty people today would be thanksgiving eh. yeah, its my favorite holiday but the thing is...im not with my family im with bobs. and yeah theyre nice and what not, but its not the same...oh well make the best of a bad situationi suppose. linseys coming over later and hopefully andrew too.
hmm andrew spent the night at lennys yesterday....yup. hmmmm
surprisingly okay,
ernie
1 mug of juice |
pimp juice? |
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