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2004 10 November :: 4.53pm
i don't about any of your shit anymore. its not worth my time.
stop pretending.
on another note, mother suspects i may be depressed. haha.
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stay_c
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2004 8 November :: 9.48am
:: Mood: depressed
X the ones you have done:
( ) I have been drunk
(x) I have kissed a member of the opposite sex
(x) I have kissed a member of the same sex
( ) I crashed a friend's car
( ) I have been to Japan
(x) I rode in a taxi
( ) I have been in love
(x) I've had sex
( ) I've had sexual relations in public
( ) I've shoplifted
( ) I have been fired
(x) I have cut myself on purpose
( ) I have smoked pot
( ) I still smoke pot
( ) I've had a 3-some
( ) I've snuck out of my parent's house
( ) I have been tied up. (yes...in THAT way)
( ) I pissed on myself
( ) I have been arrested
( ) I've made out with a stranger
(x) I've stolen something from my job
( ) I've celebrated New Year's in Time Square
( ) I've gone on a blind date
(x) I've lied to a friend
( ) I've had a crush on a teacher
( ) I've celebrated Mardi-Gras in New Orleans
( ) I have been to Europe
(x) I've skipped school
( ) I have thrown up in a bar
( ) I have purposely set myself on fire
( ) I have eaten sushi
( ) I have been snowboarding
(x) I have been happy with myself
( ) I have met a movie star
( ) I had sex in a pool
( ) I went to a prom with someone of the same sex
( ) I've bungee jumped
(x) I have been to a pop concert
( ) I have dated someone for over a year
( ) I sold naked pictures of myself
(x) I have been in a car accident
(x) I have slept in the nude
(x) I've eaten cheesecake
( ) I've had jury duty
(x) I've hated someone without knowing them
(x) I have given oral sex
( ) I have recieved oral sex
(x) I've shot a real gun
( ) I've ran around with my trousers around my ankles
( ) I've had sex with someone within a week of meeting them
( ) I've done ecstasy
( ) I've gotten my ass kicked
( ) I've been caught smoking
(x) I've worn boxers
( ) I've milked a cow
(x) I've got in a verbal fight with a teacher
( ) I've cheated on someone
( ) had sex with a best friend
( ) Lied one time in this survey
( ) Lied more then once in this survey.
(x) Lied to a friend you see everyday
(x) Kissed a person that has a g/f or b/f
( ) Used ice cubes as a foreplay accessory
(x) Wasted time filling this out instead of doing something productive
( ) Have nude pics of yourself on your computer
( ) Walked across 8 lanes of interstate highway
(x) Have been to camp
(x) Have read a book(s) more than one time
(x) Have eaten cat food
(x) Have been pulled over by a cop
( ) Own porn
(x) Am a Republican
(x) Likes classic movies
(x) Own a kitty
( ) Carried a lunchbox in high school
(x) Buy gumballs to watch them swirl in the machine
(x) Likes to be dominated
(x) Likes to drive with the windows down and the music turned up
(x) Eats PB &J for breakfast because there's nothing else
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2004 4 November :: 5.51pm
i should be dead. im a little disappointed that im not. do you concur?
"music is worthless, unless it can make a complete stranger break down and cry." -Frou Frou
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2004 31 October :: 2.16pm
"i wear black on the outside 'cause black is how i feel on the inside"
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2004 27 October :: 6.18pm
there is definately a me and a "them". i am not a part of everyone else.
everything just has its own way of making me ... .
"there's a world outside of you"
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2004 27 October :: 5.55pm
why does all this seem so familiar? because its so terrible?
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2004 24 October :: 10.16pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Bon Jovi - Thank you for loving me
My whole plan to avoid Drew completely went to hell. I ended up going home for the weekend because Jeff wanted to sleep. I was back in time to surprise people at school. Drew had to work for one of his teachers so I stayed to help. After that we went to his house because he had to do a quick job for his dad. Then we got in my car and just drove around for three hours. It was awesome to just talk to him and be around him without all the flirting. Then when Chrissy joined us, he started the flirting again…. Today he couldn’t get a hold of Chrissy so he came over to my house for a couple hours. We just hung out and laughed at my brother and all his friends. I had a lot of fun just hanging out with him this weekend like we used to over the summer. I really missed that and after talking to him tonight I think he does too. We are going to try to have some just him and me time once in a while, we’ll see how that goes. My weekend was good. Now if I could only figure Jeff out….
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m&ms487
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2004 24 October :: 3.01pm
:: Mood: calm
I don't quite know what's reality anymore, I'm going back and forth, and it's really all quite confusing, I don't even know how to explain it.
School
Work
Band
Me
Rueben
Future
Now
Health
There are so many things that I think about sometimes, and they all just blend into one, and I don't want them to.
I just want to paint the world with my tears.
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2004 24 October :: 2.48pm
this place is a prison.
it gets a little worse every day.
or so it seems.
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cowsgomoo!!!
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2004 24 October :: 12.00am
i love coming home...........but i hate being here.
does that make sense to anyone? because thats how i feel. i'll try to explain :
when i walk in my house i get the feeling that im wanted/needed by someone. and its not just my cat and dog and usually little brother that run up to me and hug me or want me to pet them (being the animals, not Jon). its just the general aura i get from stepping in the house..........I LOVE IT.
but, staying here always messes that feeling up. but yeah, enough random thoughts for the night.
yesterday was fun. emily and i hung out all day after school.
we went to see "hero" at the star. it was pretty good, not what i thought it would be, but not bad.
after that we went to the haunt. but, instead of listening to my good judgement, i listened to emily's directions and we ended up in allegan. yeah......dont ask how, or why, but yeah........ it was fun though. she felt really bad about it, but i just laughed it off. i figured if i didnt i'd be pissed. but yeah, i didnt really care. so, we went to the haunt after the "detour" to allegan. um.... the haunt was okay, not what i expected it to be, but it was still pretty cool. um..... yeah that was about it for yesterday.
went to bill's party today, it was alright till people were being dumb with guitars........
rueben, michelle, waller, jenny, dylan, and i went to arby's to play trivial pursuit when we left. fun stuff. its not something i'd usually do, but i figured "what the hell" and went. it was pretty cool
oh, and at the party erin lost like 20 bucks. she thinks someone stole it.......so i hope she finds it or finds who did it. she was getting pissed, so i hope everything works out for her
but other than that didnt do anything today.
yeah, i have to work tomarrow, which sucks. but oh well, i need the money. i can open my availibility up again because soccer and marching band is done. so thats good. um...... yeah, thats about all i have to say now......... uh...... yeah, im gone.
-me
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2004 21 October :: 4.46pm
everything has been done so many times, everything has been made into a cliche.
even the way i feel is cliche. its so demeaning.
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charlessumnerthatsickfuck
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2004 19 October :: 5.45pm
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
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charlessumnerthatsickfuck
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2004 19 October :: 5.33pm
Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.
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charlessumnerthatsickfuck
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2004 19 October :: 3.52am
i went home this weekend, after a kick ass/ cold/ wet ass football game. Sat. i went shinning for deer w/ my bro. That was fun, bonding time. Sun. morn i got up early to go riding w/ linsey. She never showed. I waited for over 50 minutes. But i did get to see how my horse is. A bag of bones. Covered in shit and mud. My horse has white stockings on 2 legs, i couldn't see them. He also used to have muscle and fat over his skeleton. No longer in the same quanity... he was quivering... i've never seen him do that before. This weeekend my family is building an addition on the barn, as well as fixing/adding the fenceing and perhaphs another shelter. My bro needs more pasture for his ewes and calf and my parents won't let my horse be in a pooor environment. After visiting my horse i visited the stokens. Pat tried to give me a guine pig... you know in peru they eat them? Then i went home for a turkey dinner, Tennis, and wood doing. LIfe is good.
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cowsgomoo!!!
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2004 18 October :: 10.41pm
:: Mood: PISSED
:: Music: tom petty
okay, i've heard rumors about me, that really pisses me off. let me set this straight.
RUMOR: jenny steers and i made out at a movie theater.
WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED: we did hold hands........no kissing of any kind was involved and no touching of anywhere inappropriate was to done.
so, unless i can make out with someone while JUST holding hands then NO we did NOT make out.
thanks for hearing me out........and next time stupid people start rumors, dont bother to listen, cause you know its just lies and other shit.
-me
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2004 18 October :: 2.31pm
now im going down, you're not even around.
i love the way you write. it makes so much sense.
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cowsgomoo!!!
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2004 17 October :: 10.47pm
:: Mood: energetic
okay, so, i feel so much better about myself right now!!!
okay, no one really knows, nor needs to know, but me and a certain girl are NOT going out. for the few of you who do know, please dont bother to put down any names, cause there's no need to
but now i dont have to worry about anything, i can continue life like i do and maybe hook up with a friend from rockford that i havent seen in ages and not feel bad about it.
well, whatever, im done. most people probably think im a whore, but whatever. if you want to know about it, just im me and i'll explain.
chao,
-me
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2004 17 October :: 2.09pm
:: Music: saves the day- in reverie
slowly torn apart. from hugs to hand shakes. from "i love you" to "whats up?" such a terrible loss.
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2004 17 October :: 11.59am
:: Music: pedro the lion
its not my place. its just not.
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cowsgomoo!!!
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2004 16 October :: 12.15am
:: Mood: grand
:: Music: mix, but at the moment tom petty "you dont know how it feels"
never have had one, never will
okay, so my J.V soccer experience is over. yippee skippy (said very sarcastically). now i have to deal with the varsity coach and varsity players who dont think i belong on varsity......lucky me.
oh, yeah, yesterday we lost our soccer game.....2-0. it sucked. i felt like shit, and right away some kid kicked my bad knee. BUT, within the first 4 minutes of the game i took a kid out, but the stupid fucker had to come back in 10 minutes later. but yeah, its done and over with
okay, another end of things..... marching band is done!!! im so happy!!!! i hate marching band, the only reason i do it is so i can play concert. but whatever, again, its over with.
so, tonight after the game a bunch of band geeks (and jacqui) decided to go to mcdonalds. yeah, that was.......um, interesting. then we all thought that a movie was a good idea, so we went to the movies (exept jacqui and steph, they couldnt). so yeah, it was a really fun night.
um....... what else happened???? yeah, i dont really know.....
okay, well, since all of my email accounts have been closed i only re-made two
cowsgomoo8806@hotmail.com
and
organizedchaos06@yahoo.com
my messengers are still the same, so, um.........yeah, i guess thats it
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