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2002 4 October :: 10.26 pm
:: Mood: tired, and i have a tummy ache...also i'm kind of
:: Music: marching songs stuck in my head...ugh
depite everything, the football team won....thus we'll be marching longer...woo!!
heh...i said the word thus. thus happens to rhyme with LUSS! hahah! i didn't feel like going to the dance. i was tired, cold and my feet hurt from stupid marching band, even though i don't march. something smells funny down here...ick. tomorrow is going to be so crazy. and i have flute ensemble tomorrow...but i love it...i especially love playing alto. wow...it's soooo cool!!! i'm talking to one of my friends from camp and that's what we are talking about (camp) and ahhhhh....i miss it sooooo much. we're kinda talkin about ryan too..and wowzers.... i miss him soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!!!!!!!! it isn't fair!!!!!!!! not at all!!!!! grrrrr!!! ok.... i'm really tired so i think i'm going to hit the sack. oh! if you're going to powder puff tomorrow night, stop by and see me and gunnie at the yearbook table!!!! you'll be sure to get a smile!! happy red flannel day!!!! gnasd :)
crown me! |
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2002 2 October :: 5.32 pm
:: Mood: um.... ok
:: Music: the get up kids- out of reach
this is a pretty song... and just to let everyone who i know doesn't give a flying fig but i don't care, because it's MY journal.. that if ryan and i both make it into the CMU honers band, we'll get to see each other in 45 days. which is a long time from now, but it's worth it i guess. wooo... ok..time for pit..my favorite thing.. righhhhht... later :)
5 crowned |
crown me! |
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2002 1 October :: 10.05 pm
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: ben folds- hero's song
"i don't wanna grow old .. won't you let me, won't you let me explode?"
this song is fun to jam to. every lesson i get closer to making it into CMU's honers band. and that's one step closer to seeing ryan. by the way...i miss ryan. it's been a month and 1 day since i've seen him. that's a long time...and he hasn't been online latley so i haven't been able to talk to him. i could call him, but i never know if he's home or not. :( life will get better and things could be worse. i'm pretty tired... and i kinda want to wind down on my piano for a while. sooo... good night and sweet dreams will fill your head.
ps. don't you think it's weird that i wake up in the middle of the night when i drop jarvis on the floor?? (jarvis is the stuffed animal ryan gave me)... crazy :)
crown me! |
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2002 30 September :: 9.56 pm
:: Mood: sad, tired and hungry
:: Music: pit music stuck in my head from marching band
wow... i get home and to my suprise my cousin and uncle aren't here like they were supposed to be. i find out that they aren't here because my grandpa is in the hospital again. this is extremley sad for me because this is the 4th time he's been in the hospital in like a year. he's so old and i don't know how much longer he's going to make it. please, will you all pray for my grandpa and our family? it would bring comfort to us all. anyways, we're supposed to get an update phone call at 10 so i gotta go. good night.
1 crown |
crown me! |
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2002 28 September :: 5.35 pm
:: Mood: in pain... and it's not emotional!!!!
yeah... so i've been having daily headaches every day for about 2 weeks now. today's has been ever since i woke up this morning. it's been really bad too. the asprin i took about an hour ago hasn't kicked in yet or something. well, today was fun. i went with jenna and her family and their model a car club to the orchard and to the minature train station. now i'm getting ready for the pagent with beans. fun fun fun. just think, next year i'm going to be the one up there giving my speech and strutting around stage. whoa...the time has gone by. last night was a blast too. let it be known that unorganized pep banding, band wars, and unoffical fundraising is the best way to spend a friday night. i won't go into detail because too much went on, but if you ask me, i bet i can muster up a story to tell you. actually, ask me about unofficial, unorganized fundraising. that's a riot. especially when you actually make $1.75 for the boosters. wooo!!! anyways, yeah... i gotta go finish getting ready. have fun tonight kids. :)
4 crowned |
crown me! |
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2002 25 September :: 10.11 pm
:: Mood: um....i don't know right now
:: Music: john mayer- comfortable
wow...it seems like everyone is so bogged down with trubles right now. it makes me realize that i don't have it so bad after all. things could be worse. but i think in most situations, things could be worse. for anyone who is having a hard time, or is having a bad day or needs someone to talk to or needs some advice or whatever, just remember i'm here for all of you!!! no matter what the subject is, most likley i'll listen. i might have some advice on it, i might not, but either way... for me anyways, it feels better to get things off your chest. so yeah... and i love you guys to the max. my little family :) ...you know who you are...
crown me! |
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2002 24 September :: 10.39 pm
:: Mood: confused like a disgruntled moose!!!!!!!!
:: Music: dashboard confessional- the swiss army romance
what the heck! boys are sooooo confusing!!!!! ugh!!!
2 crowned |
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2002 23 September :: 10.14 pm
:: Mood: eh... if you saw me at the end of m.b. you know...
yeah...so homecoming was a riot. dinner was really fun and the last part of the dance was too. after, we went to jessie's and ate junk food and watched tv and i fell asleep on gunnie. oh well.. band sucked tonight. i ended up crying at the end after we unloaded the pit trailer. i think it was because i was so stressed and just missed ryan and stuff like that. i got my pictures from when ryan and i saw each other over labor day weekend. those cheered me up :). anyways... i don't really have much else to say, except thanks to andy for making me feel better tonight. and just a note, your spit didn't take off the mascara, it just smeared it around my face even more. oh well though...the idea was there and your intentions were good. :) good night kids and sleep tight!
1 crown |
crown me! |
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2002 21 September :: 12.31 am
:: Mood: tired
yay!!!! tonight was so fun!!!! and congrats to the best king....our very own... GUNNIE!!! yay!! i just think that's soooo cool. after the game, jessie, my mom, GUNNIE and i all went for desert and fun. and we had both!!!! whoa! so yeah.. tomorrow morning i have my first flute ensemble practice and then my suprise which is mom got me a hair appointment!!! i'm so excited!!!! then beans and jessie are coming over and i'm going to do their hair and makeup and shiz. we still don't know what we're doing for dinner. we're so unprepared. but yeah... lusses are like that. mmhm...well...i need sleep. gnasd :)
crown me! |
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2002 19 September :: 10.18 pm
:: Mood: stupid
stupid stupid stupid...
ugh...homecoming game tomorrow, the dance is saturday. things to look forward to. flute ensemble starts saturday, practice is 9-10 am. something to look forward to, but not the time. that i will not look forward to. but i do like flute enemble, well at least i did last season. i like it because everyone is at my level and it just sounds sooo incredably beautiful. sometimes i want to cry because it is just so pretty. also mom has some sort of SUPPRISE for me on saturday. i'm hoping it protains to homecoming and it's something good. i think it is though. ooooooOOOOoooooo.. i'm such a luss. ahhh...and pascal and simon are so funny!!! well yeah.... all i can think about is ryan. ryan ryan ryan... 24/7 that's all that's on my mind. it's kind of nice though. hmm.. well i think i'm going to bed now. time for sleep. yes there is a thing called sleep, even though i don't experence it enough i'm sure it exists. i should have went to bed early like andy. but no, i'm stubborn and dumb. ah well.... good night kids and don't let anything bite :)
1 crown |
crown me! |
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2002 19 September :: 11.46 am
:: Mood: sleepy mc sleeperson
yep... you called it... i'm in english class again!
ugh... you know what bugs me to the max?? when people complain about not talking to their boyfriend or whatever for like a whole day! or not seeing them in 2 days, or a week, hell, even a month for that matter. this never really bugged me until i "found" ryan. now every time someone says something like that i just want to say... "SHUT UP!!!" at least they can call the other person for free. at least they can see that person every week or every month or every 2 days. or everyday if you see them at school. i would give anything to see ryan every week or two weeks or even every month. that would be so awesome. i think people take advantage of phones too. yeah, i used to, and i probably still do. but alot of you have no idea how lucky you are to be able to call your special someone for free. some days i just wish and wish and wish that him and i could be together. but hey, everything happens for a reason right? and for some odd reason, ryan and i were brought together, and then ripped apart from each other. maybe only to make me appreciate the phone a little more. i don't know. but i figure, if it was meant to be, then someday, it will be. i look at things so differently now. and no one really knows how i feel, except for kaly really. because she's been through it before. but really, i think ryan and i are doing the right thing by being friends for now until it's easier for us to be together. it's so much less painful this way. anyway, i think i feel a little better now. i just needed to vent some. i'm still tired though. oh well. hope you are all having a good day. later :)
crown me! |
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2002 18 September :: 9.23 am
:: Mood: tired
i'm at school again!! ha ha ha!!! just like yesterday, i'm done with my paper and have resorted to coming back to this addicting site. :) anyways... i'm now taking comments on new colors, titles, user pic's, etc. give me all the idea's you've got!!!!!!!! 1/2 day today.. i'm going home with kaly and then we're going to extended drumline from 3-9. woo!!! i'll talk to ya's tonight! later :)
1 crown |
crown me! |
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2002 17 September :: 11.56 am
:: Mood: tired
i'm at school right now. i got done with my paper so i got to go online! yay for me! anyways... if anyone has suggestions on how to stay awake during school that don't include going to bed earlier or waking up later, i need ideas. other than that, i have piano and flute lessons tonight. wooo! well yeah... time to go. later :)
4 crowned |
crown me! |
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2002 15 September :: 12.44 am
:: Mood: happy but tired
:: Music: new found glory- my friends over you (well..it's in my head)
hey kids!! well... this weekend has been pretty fun. last night andy, spud, jessie, gunnie, jenna and i all went bowling. i got a terrible score..but oh well. it was still alot of fun eating pizza at 9 at night and just hanging with my friends. then we came back and had a little bon fire and jenna and jessie spent the night and the guys went home. today jenna went home and jessie stayed all day. andy came back over this afternoon and basically stayed all day. the 3 of us baked cookies and had a pillow fight and all kinds of fun stuff. spud came over later and so did gunnie again and we had another bon fire. everyone went home tonight though. so yeah... it just felt soooo good to get out with my friends and have a GOOD time! tonight i realized how much i missed going out and having fun. so now we are going to try to get together as much as possible because all of us get along so well. beans was supposed to join us tonight but she didn't so maybe next time. :) well kids... that's about all for now...i'm pretty sleepy so i think i'm going to hit the sack. good night and hugs and kisses!!!
1 crown |
crown me! |
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2002 12 September :: 10.12 pm
:: Mood: eh.... screw moods
:: Music: africa...my song
this basically sums up what i'm feeling.... it should anyways...
danibean05: gosh life could be so much better
SischoKid2006: yeah it could
danibean05: i have so much on my mind rightnow
SischoKid2006: yeah
danibean05: are you ok?
SischoKid2006: yup
danibean05: ok
SischoKid2006: u?
danibean05: not really
SischoKid2006: need to talk about it?
danibean05: yeah
danibean05: but i dunno....i'm really confused right now
SischoKid2006: well im all ears
danibean05: well i dunno andy... it's just i miss ryan sooooooo much and i cried myself to sleep AGAIN and i hate doing that
SischoKid2006: aww
danibean05: and it's like he's the perfect person for me and it just hurts so much that i can't be with him
SischoKid2006: im sorry
danibean05: thanks
SischoKid2006: yeah...
danibean05: long distance sucks ducks
danibean05: it's hard
SischoKid2006: to the max
danibean05: and i'm always thinking about him
danibean05: oh..last night was the worst because i was just lying in bed crying, and i grabbed jarvis (the gorilla he gave me) and i grabbed his hand...but jarvis wouldn't grab it back and i just wanted ryan sooooooo much
SischoKid2006: aww
SischoKid2006: its all so saddening
danibean05: sometimes i think i'm just living in this fantisy world...like maybe ryan doesn't exist
danibean05: he's just in my head
SischoKid2006: heh'
SischoKid2006: prince charming
danibean05: yep...that's him
danibean05: and if there was someone in cedar i would go for him
danibean05: or even like in the vicinity of cedar
SischoKid2006: heh, yeha
SischoKid2006: yeah*
danibean05: but...i'll always compare them to ryan
SischoKid2006: heh
danibean05: ARG ANDY!!!!
danibean05: why do things have to be like this????????
SischoKid2006: because lifes a bitch
danibean05: it is
danibean05: and my mom is being gay too
SischoKid2006: heh...
yeah... um... that's about it. gnasd
7 crowned |
crown me! |
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