:: 2003 6 December :: 12.22 am

yes yes so now im at nikis house..and she wishes to professs her undieing love to of all people nicko!congrats...um i shall say no more for i am being watched by the warden....(niki)lol

Ok so yes we went to the xmas stroll and it wqas fun after the crowd thinned out and i had a bite to eat....yesyes i become somewhat very alot impatient with large crowds of people and felt better when we ran around like hooligans....yes yes so peanut butter fudge is very good!twas my candy for the night and yes .

So now everyone has something to say about nicko....niki loves him......jessika thinks he does not like her...and justin thinks him and i where going out.....o.o

Justin is another story...oy boys...so much trouble.....but yes so we started walking and i hooked my arm in his and was like whats up honey?he looked down at me(DOWN he is so friggin tall...o.o) and was like wont nick be angry for calling me that? I said no and started to laugh..and told him no nick and i wernt going out...grr....but yes so we are walking and hes like..."my life is so messed right now" i just looked at him and asked him what was wrong and he listed off lots of stuff as follows:
1) his knees are messed
2)his back is messed
3)niki annoys him and he likes 5 or 6 diff girls
4)he has to play football cause he dad says so even though he is all messed
5)he wants to move to cali(NO BAD BAD BAD)
6)he wants to join the miltary.....

so yes those are the problems of my justin.....uh hu...yes it was interesting cause he looked like he was gonna cry so i felt bad for him....

And yes so life is...weird lately......yes so my mom is like you cant stay at schylars but you can go over to nikis....SCHYLAR IM SO SORRY!MY MOM CHANGED HER MOM AT THE LAST MOMENT.PLZ PLZ PLZ FORGIVE ME PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ......:( i feel bad..grrrrrrrrrrrr.

2 truthsooth sayers | lie

:: 2003 5 December :: 6.15 pm

3 truthsooth sayers | lie

:: 2003 3 December :: 6.14 pm

Last night at 10:13 pm i came to the relisation that every one was saying Mikki not niki...and i cried till ,midnight when i fell asleep and then i woke up and cried some more ...actually i cried till i got to school...and as soon as a stepped into the door i stoped and pulled myself together. I went the rest of the day w/o crying and then i got home and two tears rolled down my cheeks.....and now im depressed....and going to her funeral tomarrow...the reasson you ask?
I have know Mikki since i was 8 or 9 she was one of my very few friends in elementary school...and as the years progressed we lost touch until this summer where we saw eachother a few time and talked for a few hours...and then a few weeks ago she started giving me rides home from school...we would talk about how she was doing and what not....she broke up with her bf and lost a few friends..was mad at alot of people...she said she didnt need anybody...i mad her promise not to do anything BAD i told her to just push through it all....and she is now cold and dead....dead dead dead..i live a block and a half from her house A FUCKING BLOCK AND A HALF i was so close to her when all this went down...i could have stpped her..and now i think its all my fault....

4 truthsooth sayers | lie

:: 2003 2 December :: 11.31 pm
:: Music: stupid girl-garbage

lie

:: 2003 1 December :: 8.53 pm

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
I'll tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused but nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was then
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on....

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

...i was listening to this song in schylars car today and for some reason..i kinda in a way related to it...dont ask me how...

lie

:: 2003 30 November :: 7.09 pm

X MAS STROLL SCHYLARS THINGY PROM KIDS XMAS PARTY.....TTTOOOOOMMMMMMUUUUUUCCCCHHH!!!!!!!!!!!.......grrrrrrrrr...ok im better...i havent been to school since last friday!WEEEEEEEEHHHOOOO...it was fun while it lasted but now i dont want to go back...: '(
oh well the world shall go on!...ok no prom schylars party and xmas stroll and no kids x mas party...so much. ok so yeah im tired and still hafta read 100 pages in le miserables..(cannot spell) rarness

yes yes..life is messed today

http://elfwood.lysator.liu.se/zone/s/h/shellydarksmith/shellydarksmith.html

i added some pics!

lie

:: 2003 29 November :: 5.19 pm

SHARK BAIT HO HAHA!!!!
...mmmk stay the night at jessikas with roxy and we walked to vans iga and then when we walked and talked for a LONG time!We went back to jessikas house and sat for a bit then went and attacked her room!TIS CLEAN...her room is sooo big!..yes so now we shalle stay the night at roxys... hopefully MY RENTS HAVENT TOLD ME IF I CAN OR CANT YET..grrr

My Rhapsody

The door opens and before me is eternety,
Who's voice calls from so far away?
Someone soothes my hair,
Who are you?
My cello sings for the land my heart so wishes for,
Where time and my feelings pass by.
I dont want any friends,
that a lie,
I dont even need myself,
Its the truth,
Footprints i leave behind
washed away,
The night is mysterious,
It conceals the truth.
Invited by the moon,
darkness spreads through the sky.
The night is violent,tears fall like rain.
The sky cries for me for it is my rhapsody.


look what i found in the catacombs of my comp!!!

lie

:: 2003 27 November :: 11.51 pm

..today was a good day and the only reason it was a good day was because..i laughed so hard it hurt...and i felt REALLY good...lol

lie

:: 2003 27 November :: 5.13 pm

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!

You are Spearmint.
You are quick-witted and sharp. You pay close
attention to details and you can tell what your
friends are feeling. You are always the first
to understand a joke and you are valued for
your insight and advice. However, you
sometimes isolate yourself from other people,
afraid to share your own feelings.
Most Compatible With: Cinnamon


Which Tic-Tac Flavor Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


..weird.....jessika and i...same results and sometime nick...its just creepy at times.....but not so much..EVERYONE ENJOY YOUR HOLIDAY K?

lie

:: 2003 26 November :: 5.18 pm

You would represent love you value friends above
all. You try and help them to the best of your
ability. However those that hurt you and your
friends will feel your wrath.


If you were a goddess what would you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla


You are Brid. You are creative and enjoy children.
You're also a protector to many and you like
others to be aware of your power. You also
enjoy music and fire.


What Celtic Goddess are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


You are the hot-tempered Goddess of Fire. You are
angered easily, incredibly strong, and
oblivious to authority. You hate to feel
helpless and feel akward in crowds. You can
either be ruthless or seductive and you can
always manipulate people to get your way. You
have few friends but you like it that way. You
outcast yourself and like to be alone.


Elemental Goddess
brought to you by Quizilla

lie

:: 2003 26 November :: 1.01 pm
:: Mood: distressed

-_-..im sleepy...still..i just got home from helena cause we stayed the night there instead of comming straight home...my dad is upset with me cause i didnt medal in any of my events...that is why i was all quiet and whatnot at the cerimony....we placed 4 in water quality and 5th in reach for the stars...and my dad yelled at me for an hour about how i can never do anything completly and how i do everything half assed...im dont really care anymore.

I got my prom top at ross dress for less..now all i need is a guy to go with...justin maybe?*shrug*..so very tired.hehehe i'm having a 9 day weekend....hehehe.......


You represent... hope.
You're quite a daydreamer and can be a hopeless
romantic. You enjoy being creative and don't
mind being alone at times. You have goals, and
know what you want in life... even if they are
a little far fetched.


What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla


somethings just dont change...

lie

:: 2003 22 November :: 11.24 pm

Ive had that dream five time and each time it become more and more detailed.....and i can feel the tears and the water and the wind..and the spike..i feel it all, it even lingers after i wake up...grrrr...to much tylonol......sweepy...0.0.....o.o.....-.o...-.-.......-_-

3 truthsooth sayers | lie

:: 2003 21 November :: 9.28 pm

I'm a Philosopher/Scientist!



Which Enemy of the Christian Church Are You?

Take More of Robert & Tim's Quizzes
Watch Robert & Tim's Cartoons

lie

:: 2003 20 November :: 10.58 pm

The Unconcious Argentinian


What Moulin Rouge Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

you sexy sexy thing you?.....*busts out laughing very hard*omg that is helarious....

Yes today i went to SO after school and guess who was there....NICKO...hehehe funfun with the braces they actually dont look to bad.....i got hugs when i got the and feel actually ok for once....i just got back from skating and i feel relaxed and calm......except i dont want to go to sleep....cause my dreams....i had it again only i could see their faces and there where only like 10 people which is ok with me i dont like having to many friends...but its the same thing..over and over...and i know im going to have it again tonight...

lie

:: 2003 19 November :: 7.15 pm

My dream i had really is messing with my head...i had it again but it moved on further....i was seeing if any of you where still alive and i came to someone i couldnt identify...at this point i was crying insanly...the face was mangled and the heart torn out...i reached out to touch the hand and it grabbed my hand..i had like a sezure/vision of what had happened...I was almost inhumanly enraged and just....god i scared myself..i think i was watching it from that persons view because i caught my eye and then i attacked...i came back fromthe vision/sezure and looked around again.. i came to nick and dara and they where generating a light..it was so beautiful ,it was almost like a star that was like a snowflake...i put my hand out to touch it and as i did it...i guess it tore my soul in half..i looked over at this person who looked like me only had extreamly long red hair and wore a dress of bones.She smiled sadly and then disoppeared..and when she did....i changed view so i was watching myself and my eyes went from brown to purple and my clothes turned into this black dress with a red desighn on it...i was really beautiful....then the water disopeared and i was standing on this rock in the middle of the ocean there where no waves,no wind,no clouds,only the sun and the crystal blue water surrounding me.I looked into the water and saw everyone swimming around playing games and talking..it was like everyone were mermaids only with feet.I was so happy to see everyone alive i started to cry and reached down as if i where to jump in but....the water...it..i dont know how to describe it..it for lack of better words repelled me but it solidified almost but just onder my hand then sent a jolt of electricity into my body ..and as the jolt went through my body i heard a soft male voice and he whispered "You can only be with them if you are one with your soul"...i said to him"But if i am one with my soul i will kill them again...how do i join them?" he said sadly"Then you will never be with them." the jolt stopped and i sat down slowly still in the dress and made a vow to guard them until the day i way be with them.....i saw day turn to months and months turn to years,then the years turned to decades..during this time i sunk many a ship and warded many dangers....never did you guys age and never did i till one day my other half of my soul came back and we joined.....and staying true to my vow..i held my hand to my chest and said "May i now be at peace with my own self and with my friends" and shot a spike into my heart.I fell into the water and my blood was black...you all surrounded me and told me to be at rest for i was free. I woke up crying and digging my nails into my arm..i had a bruise on my leg from where i had kicked my window sill and all my pillows had been nocked off my bed..and i cried and cried and cried..i could feel a tingling where the stake would have been in my chest...ive never been so affriad of myself or a dream in my life...but there is a first for everything.....

Your soul is bound to the White Rose: The
Pure.

"I've been waiting in the dark for a long
time, shining my beacon of hope through the
shadow. If you see me, don't you hide your
eyes from me."

The White Rose is associated with purity, honor,
and chastity. It is governed by the goddess
Artemis and its sign is The Cross, or Agape.

As a White Rose, you are a person of your word.
You may have a strong moral code, but
regardless of your virtue, you always stay true
to yourself. To you, love is the most pure of
emotional forms and it's just a matter of
waiting for it to bless you. Some people may
say you are too idealistic, but it's only
because you don't want to mess things up.


What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
brought to you by Quizilla


goddess of hope. You are always looking on the
bright side of things.You help comfort and are
always there for someone in need.


What beutiful goddess are you?(with anime pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

..hope..and a white rose....starting to seem like everyone knows me....

4 truthsooth sayers | lie