:: 2003 30 October :: 6.09 pm
:: Mood: drained

Grrrr my parents wont leave me alone cause they think im depressed...well i kinda am but they cant help and every time they try they fucking make it worse and when i try to tell them that(not that same way)they try harder then i get pissed and bitchy and arggggg.Then my dad gets all well you cant do anything on halloween if you stay all sad and stuff .welll HHHHHEEEEEELLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOO why do you think im like this in the first place?!


You are Yuzuki!


What Chobits Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla



i dont believe the damn quiz...hell i dont believe in anything anymore.

lie

:: 2003 27 October :: 8.42 pm

Sunday i saw Jack this is how it went:
"Hey Michelle wanna go out now?"
"No"
"why not?"
"Because,"i said,"Your not for me."
"Wha...?I dont understand"he said confused
"Well here this might help"as i walked up to him so he was about a foot away from me and put my hand in the shape of a gun and held it up to his heart."Bang...you broke my heart so now i broke yours"And turned on my heel."You couldnt have done anything more to push me away any further than what you did"
"But..i did it so you could see i truely loved you!"
"No you promised you would never do that and now that promise is broke along with my heart."
"But-"
"No. No buts Goodbye Jack.Goodbye."
And i walked away back into the house and left him in the cold night alone.

This happened late Sunday night ,he got a friend to drive him into town and is now leaving for oregon where he will be in an Mental Hospital.Never a normal day.

Dara called me and she is at the point where she is afraid that if she dose something wrong people will stop loving her.Shes better now because she called me....but she is also afraid of getting close to people and she found a guy who can make her smile without doing or saying anything.Im happy for her,she says she has found a sort of peace.Let it last long.

3 truthsooth sayers | lie

:: 2003 24 October :: 6.06 pm

I went to the st.olof(?)Concert lastnight and very much enjoyed it.But yeah has niki been asking you guys weird questions latly if she is DONT TELL HER ANYTHING.Shes trying to get blackmail on me because of what i know about justin...

2 truthsooth sayers | lie

:: 2003 22 October :: 10.07 pm

Im tired of having walls up all day and night.Im tired of having to defen myself all day and night.Im tired of comming home to my dad lecturing me on the same exact things everyday.I hate that i have to defend myself against my familie and the people at school..right now im running on Empty.

Football game friday will be a good masacare of the CMR Var.hehhehehehe...

My parents are wondering why i come home then go into my room everyday....well i dont thing i want to talk to them.

Hottopic opened today and there where lots of "preps" and they where giving me dirty looks like i wasnt supposed to be there...like i was an insect.RAR at people...

lie

:: 2003 21 October :: 10.39 pm

I feel kinda weird i dont know i guess in just tired.Wow the people we are hosting are really cute!I find it interesting that my quiz result was a vampire and death and the sort.....i guess its the way i have been thinking latly.We had this interesting motivational speaker come and i couldnt stop laughing.

2 truthsooth sayers | lie

:: 2003 19 October :: 7.19 pm

....
Ok im worried about my stalker his name is Jack he told me on the phone.I m also worried abot Dametrie,he looks sick!I told him to go see a Dr. But noooooooooo dont listen to me.

I finished HWK and have to starts info look up for SObut im so friggin tired and rar.



You are Form 9, Vampire: The Undying.

"And The Vampire was all that remained on
the blood drowned creation. She attempted to
regrow life from the dead. But as she was
about to give the breath of life, she was
consumed in the flame of The Phoenix and the
cycle began again."

Some examples of the Vampire Form are Hades (Greek)
and Isis (Egyptian).
The Vampire is associated with the concept of
death, the number 9, and the element of fire.
Her sign is the eclipsed moon.

As a member of Form 9, you are a very realistic
individual. You may be a little idealistic,
but you are very grounded and down to earth.
You realize that not everything lasts, but you
savor every minute of the good times. While
you may sometimes find yourself lonely, you
have strong ties with people that will never be
broken. Vampires are the best friends to have
because they are sensible.


Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


go figure...

7 truthsooth sayers | lie

:: 2003 17 October :: 9.34 pm

OMFG
My damn stalker cut his wrists and was sent to the hospital.Why the hell!Fuck how stupid can he be!I need to breath .Holy shit..this is why..im going to go somewhere where there are no people,no one i can hurt.....i knew this would happen....shit!How could i let this happen?how....

lie

:: 2003 17 October :: 4.01 pm

DAMN YOU
I told my stalker i would never go out with him and he got all sad and was like im going to go kill myself now.RAR.Then i reminded him of his promise to never hurt me and told him if he killed himself he would be killing me to so now hes like oh your so selfish!You just want me to suffer he says.You just want to be happy he cries.Im going to kill him myself and buary him.Oh he pisses me off to no end.

My sister gail is going to be living with us for a weeka and then 3 people we dont know are comming over for 3 days.

Im running in circles :weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*trip*...ow......

Im going insane on not to mention that Dametrie came over today and he looks like he is a vampire its actually pretty funny but he keeps watching me like a hawk.Kinda nerve racking.Hes become very lively but damn he is pale.

Oh then bryan called and was like whats up?I just sat there going through the not muches and nothings then he says wanna go to billings with me to go to see some freinds.I was like who all is going and he says just us then we would meet them up there.I ask how long we will be gone and he says 3 days.I look at him when would we meet your freinds? Oh not till sunday and friday and saturday we will have to ourselves but we hafta share the car.I just sat there and he says so what do you think? Thats when i suprised him and said what where you thinking about doing in the car at night?He sat there and stuttered for a couple of seconds until i said Thats what i thought!you wanted to get me away from home in a small space while its cold out.Hes like 'no i didnt honestly i would never...who am i kidding yeah ok so sue me'i rolled my eyes'i think ill pass on the trip'he says'really?' and ofcouse i say 'yeah really hey i've got to go ill seeya 'click

I want normal people for BF please!!!!!!

Come to think of it the only thing that went right so far this week was the movie thing.NICK our dog misses you!its funny.Yeah im still picking up skittles and m&ms lol.

2 truthsooth sayers | lie

:: 2003 14 October :: 9.51 pm

HELP!!! My stalkers back and rar then Dametrie came by and he looks sick and then Brians bein' all macho and ARG!!!I'm finally going to SO and what not so...yeah.We are writing short stories for english and im going to be very detailed in mine.She may need some help afterward though.lol

5 truthsooth sayers | lie

:: 2003 11 October :: 1.28 am

GO BISON!!!!
Ok yeah we won 37 to 13 lol.hehehe.It was great fun!!!I had fun at the dance kinda sorta almost...ok it kinda really sucked because they played like 3 danceable songs.RAR at the DJ.

14 truthsooth sayers | lie

:: 2003 10 October :: 1.20 pm

RAR i felt like i was on display today,thats what i get for being on the float.*elbow elbow wrist wrist touch the pearls blow a kiss*.......i visited Sunnyside last night and today.I made Mrs.Miller,Mrs.Ryerson,and Mrs.Folie cry when they read my poem that was published.Homecomming dance and game tonight.....wooooheeee oh never mind.RAR some more,i was Wonder Woman for today and for the parade.

I was walking to my english class and this guy just started a convo with me like i knew him.It was actually pretty fun.lol

Science Olympiad.....rar i guess im getting a ride from my dad or mrs.thomas's daughter.

Damitrie was at my school today and i felt really bad because he looked really depressed and sick.....We stopped and talked for a bit and he asked me if i had had second thoughts.I just stood there and didnt know how to answer him,and thats what i told him.He said "I dont understand" and i replied "neither do i".He looked so sad!I gave him a hug and told him i would see him later.He just kinda stood there and said ok while nodding weakly.

The float broke when we first got it ,thanks to my dad(he brought duck tape!)we fixed it had had a blast with austin powers music!

lie

:: 2003 9 October :: 1.04 pm

Dara wrote this and i fell in love with it:

Faith

By Dara Roberts

Stars will shine their brightest,
In the deepest dark of night,
When the moon has pulled her covers,
And hope seems out of sight.

When the fiercest storms of war,
Thunder through the sky,
A ray of hope seems brightest,
And most compelled to die.

Faith is never easy,
But nor is reaching for the stars,
The stars are clothed in blackness,
And they seem so very far.

But all the storms of darkness,
And all obstacles we pass,
Will crumble all to pieces,
Before a ray of faith that’s cast.

For all the darkness in the world,
Is a burning coal in the sea,
One believer among many,
Will change their every plea.

When death’s cruel hand’s upon you,
And miracles grow dim,
Faith means still believing,
In what you had believed in.

Moving one step further,
Along the darkened street,
Means trusting that the road,
Will light at its complete.

So when your foot strays from a cliff,
Will a set of steps appear?
Or will you believe like many,
That you’ll spread wings and disappear?



OHHHHHHHHHHH i absolutly love this poem!!!!By the by Dara says HI.

lie

:: 2003 4 October :: 1.29 pm

My and my daddy had a falling out.Now he called me a bitch and what not.I dont want to go home and im over at schylers house. Yay i got out.Oh well we got our shirts for home comming and i forgot to call jessika so she no come!;_;I felt REALLY bad!Shes sitting next to me saying "whatever"lol.Life is good.

lie

:: 2003 4 October :: 10.36 am
:: Music: ashley and he boyfrind on the phone

lie

:: 2003 2 October :: 10.33 pm

Ok delema!Ashley,niki and justin all want me to go to the CMR game but i dont know...rar ok but anyways i wrote a poem but its kinda *blah* ok here it is

Drownding

You pushed me
and i fell.
Into a pool of whirling darkness.
No one warned me not to breath
but i did.
It entered my body
and i began to cry.
Cry for all my hard work put to waste
all my time turned to haste.
For the thing that came inside me,
was faught with valor.
For many a year i tried and tried
as hard as i could,
but it won outin the end as it thought it would.
The thing that made it into me
is not bad in anyway
or good,
maybe it is ,
but the thing that entered me,
is thee.


Once again slightly tackey but hey i can draw ,not lately ,and its my only for of word expression i like sooooooo,yeah COMMENTS??

2 truthsooth sayers | lie