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:: 2009 23 January :: 12.23am

DAMN.

It has literally been years. Thank god for old email addresses that can be recovered and then still have passwords sent to them.

How is everyone doing?

11 _ | moved fast

:: 2007 30 October :: 3.33pm
:: Mood: thoughtful
:: Music: The Kinks

Quotes.
Joe recently posted old quotes from my journal and it got me thinking of how I made a word document of all of the quotes over the years and it ended up being 58 pages in size 10 font. Nice, huh? Anyway, here are all of the quotes basically ever quoted for you to save and probably eventually actually get through! Enjoy.

Read more..

8 _ | moved fast

:: 2007 20 May :: 7.59pm

READ THIS.
Ok, so I lost all of my photos. Everything. Prom, graduation, parties, my first trip out of state, artsy shots, hanging out, my first photos with my new camera.. basically every photo in the past two years.

What happened is I deleted my account, because I couldn't remember my password for the life of me. I was asked if I'd like my files moved, so I said yes. Then I was asked if I'd like to delete my account even though my files would be deleted, I then chose no. After I chose that my account was deleted anyway.

I did searches in all drives and found nothing. And yes, I did check the recycle bin and nothing was there either. It's like they were just gone after the account thing.

If anyone has any way of getting something like this back please help me.

Basically I have lost all hope and am sure that everything is gone.

So, I am asking anyone who has any photos from an event I attended, or when friends hung out, Graduation, dances, prom.. please send them to me. Burn them to a CD or something.

Please take the time to help me out. I am completely crushed to have lost all of these photos.

7 _ | moved fast

brokenmentality

:: 2007 9 February :: 6.47pm

it sure has been awhile
i was just reading my old entries. i used to be so happy.

he did that. made me happy that is.

i love him for that.

1 _ | moved fast

:: 2006 13 July :: 10.50am
:: Music: the mars volta

They will walk among us.

This seems too crazy to be true.

Read more..

1 _ | moved fast

:: 2006 6 July :: 10.35pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: ATDI

Crepitating as I type

I made 65 dollars today.

My whole body is sore, especially my hands. I was standing in a hollow, empty church, hammering the wall for seven hours. Dust was thick in the air as chunks of plaster flew by me, into my mouth and hair.

I'm going to bed now.

brokenmentality

:: 2006 2 June :: 4.31pm

i was just reading some of my old entries. i should have seen this coming, and yet how naive i was to still be so happy.

6 _ | moved fast

:: 2006 29 May :: 6.35pm

A Recollection

And the studying begins.

After a half an hour of just gathering materials, (notes, worksheets, quizzes) I am finally ready to start remembering all the information I've forgotten in the last few months. This will take awhile.

I'm dreading tomorrow. Math never has been a strength of mine.

4 _ | moved fast

brokenmentality

:: 2006 17 May :: 4.01am

open house

june 10th 2:00-5:00
my house.

be there.

2 _ | moved fast

:: 2006 14 May :: 9.48pm
:: Music: Admit it! - Say Anything

Maybe this will wake you up.

I love this song.

Read more..

brokenmentality

:: 2006 7 May :: 9.09pm

just got back from the tim and faith concert. it was great.

my ears are ringing...

im nervous about this, but i trust you. know that ok?

1 _ | moved fast

brokenmentality

:: 2006 7 May :: 7.52am

this weekend started out rough... real rough. but turned into something wonderful.

i've stayed at keegans all weekend.. its odd being home and him being at work. yesterday we went to holland to support a crew all that (circle junkies) not like anyone knows them.... but it was the tulip festival which was nice, thier performance was really quite pathetic... what can ya do right?

we tried to go to the zoo on our way home, but it was closed, so we went to applebees and ended up running into stacy and ashley and sat with them, that was a nice suprise. then we made one more stop and came home. :)

what a beautiful day.

now TONIGHT brandi and i are going to the tim mcgraw and faith hill concert. i cannot WAIT! ahh. go ahead, be jealous. and if you dont like country music, kindly refrain from leaving a smart ass cocky comment because i dont diss your music, and frankly... it pisses me off when people diss mine. (smiles)

SCHOOOOOOOOOOOL. nooooo. oh well, its almost over.

im beginning to let go of certain things. and i really think this is going to help us ALOT. because a relationship is supposed to be based on trust right? and give and take? thats what we're doing. i cant imagine ever losing my best friend, or that feeling i get in the morning when i wake up and he's snuggled up to me, looking so peaceful before he wakes up. i love that. i love the simple things. those are the things that mean the most.

2 _ | moved fast

brokenmentality

:: 2006 4 May :: 9.50pm

people come into our lives for 3 reasons: a reason, a season, or a life time.

which are you?

1 _ | moved fast

brokenmentality

:: 2006 29 April :: 2.31pm

tired as hell.

prom was wonderful. still didnt top last years, but we werent really aiming for that. it was wonderful in its own way. me and keegan went with brandi and ryan, im so glad we didnt go in a big group. we got pictures at my house, then at the rockford dam. we had dinner at mangiamo! (the exclamation point is part of the title.. odd as it is) it was absolutely gorgeous. the restaraunt itself is in a huge "old world" mansion. its italian and suprisingly wasnt that expensive. i think it'd be a safe bet to say that we ate at the most beautiful restaraunt. seriously.... lol.

i didnt really care for st. nicks. to me it was set up really awkwardly. the dance floor in its own little room thing... odd. we made it fun though. senior prom.. gotta live it up right? i couldnt have been more happier with the way my hair and dress turned out.. i felt like a princess. and keegan just looked absolutely wonderful. it was nice to see him in black for once. he's gone white, ivory, and FINALLY black. and the black definately looked best. *smiles.... i love us together.

after prom we went to steak n shake and then midnight bowling. we didnt really know what to do. me and keegan wanted to go to oasis, but brandi didnt want to. so we kind of winged it. we didnt want to go anywhere that alcohol might be... which rules out alot of the post prom parties! no worries though. keegan and i went back to his house and stayed there. this morning he even made me breakfast. aww.

all in all i got about 140 pictures. thats gonna be a pain to print!

i cant belive this was my last dance. no more getting dressed up. no more extensive hair, no more beautiful dresses. its about time though. im assuming the next time i get ALL done up like this will be my wedding! bring it on..... all the more reasons to get an expensive dress!

tonights a rampage game. i should probably get ready.

HOLY my goodness did it take forever to wash all the hair spray out of my hair. i havent yet gotten to blow drying it.. but i know thats its mega snarled.

have a good rest of the weekend.

brokenmentality

:: 2006 27 April :: 1.35pm

i just tried on my prom dress and jewlery and all that... OMG.

SMILES SOOOOOOO BIG

im excited now. it still fits. my tan is wonderful. i cant wait to eat at montiago or whatever its called. !!!!!!

see everyone tomorrow!

brokenmentality

:: 2006 25 April :: 1.56pm

*phew... sigh of relief.

in other news.. H's prom promise spiel went good today. I figured that'd be a good message instead of handing out crappy pens. Feedback?

prom.friday.ohgod.

brokenmentality

:: 2006 19 April :: 4.24pm

heres to the worst day ever...

1 _ | moved fast

brokenmentality

:: 2006 16 April :: 6.11am

friday was so beautiful. keegan and i went to AJ's and went mini golfing (which i won) and then in the batting cages. i'm not sure that i've ever even held a baseball bat.. lol.

then we got ice cream and went to riverside park which was wonderful. after that we drove around downtown and stopped at nicks house (breakdancer) and last but not least, got smoothies from coldstone. it was a really good night.

saturday we had a yearbook work day. the senior section is seriously awesome. if you havent bought a yearbook you NEED to. for the people who didnt buy a book this year.. i think that once it comes out next year and people see how good it is, we're going to sell all of our extras.i just did 3 spreads in 3 days. (just so you know.. it takes some poeple about a month or more just to do one) im so excited for the book to be done!

yesterday after the yearbook thing and before i went to work, i went for a run/walk. i havent excersised in so long. and then i got home.. cleaned out under our bunny hut (which was long due... ugh) and wheel barrowed it to the back of our property. i was just in such a good mood ijust wanted to be outside. but TODAY my legs hurt from overdoing it on my walk thing, my back hurts from lifting the wheelbarrow wrong, my shoulders hurt from doing countless handstands, and my tricept is a bit inflamed. ah well, who cares.

we're going to my uncle david and aunt pats today for easter dinner. keegans coming after he gets out of work. he has to be in at 11 and his boss wouldnt let him come in at 12 after church. like ANYONES gonna be eating at logans on easter during church hours. so that's to bad.

the "easter bunny" brought me the carrie underwood cd and a silk robe in my easter basket this morning (thats right, im 17 and still get easter baskets and christmas stockings... my mom doesnt want to let go) and im SEEING carrie underwood at the KENNY CONCERT! i can barely stand the wait. derks bently is gonna be there too.. but i dont really like him. BUT brandi and i just got tickets for the tim mcgraw and faith hill concert too! OMG... now im just freaking out. because im going to two of the biggest concerts this year. i cant WAIT!

happy easter!

:: 2006 15 April :: 2.45pm
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: Chiodos - To Trixie and Reptile, Thanks for Everything

Hack Attack!

And from far away, people cower under window sills, behind curtains, peering through blinds. "Who could this be?" "He certainly doesn't look Asain..." "Where is his suit and mask? And what about his sword?"

No, there isn't a ninja on the loose. It's just me, playing hacky sack in my driveway. But I always wonder what people think from far away, because they probably can't see the hack.

6 _ | moved fast

:: 2006 10 April :: 10.00pm
:: Music: 30 Seconds to Mars

Smokey Surprise

That was about the best (and latest) birthday party I've ever had. Totally surprising.

I also had my first day of Drivers Training today, which went extremely well. I'm a better driver than I hoped. I only killed 2 kids!

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brokenmentality

:: 2006 9 April :: 6.27pm

my voice is gone.

rampage game last night, bobby went with me. lets not get into the game though....

i stayed at keegans last night and this morning i woke up and one of my eyes wouldnt open. *sad face* what a BEAUTIFUL thing to wake up to... "baby, i cant open my eye" (keep in mind my voice sounds like a cat stuck in a metal pan) "aww, let me help you". i wont get into the sight he must have seen either... (now that HAS to be a test of our relationship!) i've got a really good one. and then of course his mom tells me to drink orange juice.. i think she thinks orange juice will cure everything. any illness... "ohh drink some orange juice." *smiles.... i love this family.

i went home while keegan went to work and my mom and me and shelby took jessie for a walk.. what a wonderful day. we even let shelbys bunny run around outside. then i took my NEWWWWW car in to town to vaccume it. THEN me and keegan brought shelby over so she could see sushi and we let him run around outside. he's not very fast.. it was so cute to see his tiny little self running around the grass. NOW we're waiting for keegans mom to get home to make us pork chops. i've been craving some pork chops for a couple days.. and sense im in NO condition to be seen, we're staying home tonight. i dont care though.. i just want to cuddle with my asian. :)

oh and stacy.. perhaps this will bring back some memories?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAf8tNijuds&search=dane%20cook

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:: 2006 9 April :: 5.47pm
:: Music: Nine Inch Nails :: With Teeth

Twelve Days

Lucky #Slevin is an awesome movie. Everyone, seriously, go see it. It's nice to be seventeen so I can easily see rated R movies. It was such a hassle glueing that beard on so I looked like the guy in my fake ID.

I preordered Ten Thousand Days yesterday at Best Buy. I seriously cannot wait for it to come out. The single goes on the radio the 17th, so, I'll be listening to KLQ the whole day.

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brokenmentality

:: 2006 7 April :: 11.07am

i just cleaned my little sisters room for 2 hours.... now im cleaning my room.

*thumb down

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brokenmentality

:: 2006 7 April :: 5.21am

i went up to my grandma's yesterday.. she lives about 40 minutes away in whitecloud in the middle of the woods. and i was about to leave, it was around 10:00.... and she looked out the window and there was a BLACK BEAR!!!! OMG! it was HUGE and it was like 10 feet away from the window standing on its back legs reaching up at the bird feeder! it was SO cool! they get bear every year so they werent suprised or anything, but i was like HOLLLLYYYY... lol. when we would go to TN thats one of the things we'd look forward to, was seeing black bear.. and here i am in MICHIGAN, 40 minutes away from my house and theres a full grown black bear 5 feet away from my car! it was crazy! its a good thing she looked out the window before i walked outside... i probably would have had a heart attack. i couldnt believe i was looking at a BEAR! so yeah... that was my excitement yesterday..

:: 2006 5 April :: 8.51pm
:: Music: nin :: the fragile

It makes Creed not sound so bad

Clutch sucks.
Anyone want to buy Robot Hive / Exodus?

Includes:
-Allusions to sucky bands
-Real authentic klan rally shouting
-Horrible lyrics
-Stupid pictures of robots

For the low, low price of $13.00.
Brand new; perfect condition.

Also available, but actually not quite so bad, I just never listen to them anymore:
Read more..

brokenmentality

:: 2006 3 April :: 11.29am
:: Music: Trisha Yearwood: Angels in Waiting

spring break.... boring.. relaxing.. but boring. i asked keegan to get some days off.. but noo.. im alone all week during the day. both my best friends are gone.. so im stuck babysitting.

good news though.. my moms giving me her gand am! woooooo. im so excited. i have to finish paying it off.. but theres only 2 grand left on it. this is my graduation and birthday present. finally i'll have a NICE dependable car. i've ALWAYS loved her car... i really wanted it when i was queen cuz it was red.. lol, but nows good too! as soon as everythings set.. which i think is gonna be tomorrow... i need to start looking for another job. i REALLY wanna work at logans. not just because keegan works there, but because you make more money working there than most other resturants. keegans friend tommy works at Branns and said on a BUSY saturday night he walks out with 130.. but at logans on a busy saturday night servers walk out with around 190. hmmm... pretty big difference there.

i cleaned today... that was my excitement.

OH, my moms getting an Aztec. it's blue and BEAUTIFUL. i dont really like aztecs, but the color seriously makes it like the coolest vehicle ever. its so pretty.

one of the BEST love songs of all time is "hold on to me" by john micheal montgomery. download it. it reminds me SO much of me and keegan. we dont have a song yet though. odd... 17 months and we still dont have one. thats ok, it'll come to us. THATS right... 17 months and breaking up has never even been an option. i think when a relationship turns to an "on and off again" relationship.. its time to end it. because obviously neither person are happy anymore. personal opinion. whatever though... im just so happy. :)

could it be? are there still a few GOOD clingans? i must say... i thought hell must have froze over yesterday. chris is gone, and the rest of his family is FINALLY starting come around and respect my mom. throughout the divorce and even towards the end of their marriage.. the hardest part for me was seeing how my mom was being treated. she's the strongest woman i know. i cant imagine being one of those kids who "hates" their mom. she's the one thing that holds me together.

1 _ | moved fast

brokenmentality

:: 2006 2 April :: 9.54am

pretty much even tv isnt safe anymore. stupid whore. uhh.

but anyways... yesterday keegan popped his shoulder out of joint again at practice. he picked me up from work and told me and i was like "yeah ok, i know what today is... hahaha" and he's like no really i did... and once again i was like "OK keegan"... but he actually did. poor thing. he brought me home this morning before he went to work, so now he has to carry plates all around and make it even more sore. *sad face* *kisses it to make it ALL better*

after tonight i dont work again until the 12th. woot woot. that'll be nice. washing dishes tonight however WONT be nice. at least i have a respectable job though... not dissing on anyone who works at a fast food restaraunt.. im just glad i can say i work at Metron where i record food acceptance and aid in properly nutritioning diabetics than i flip burgers and drench french fries in grease. its all good... i still hate my job though.

tonights a new desperate housewives AND Flavor of love.. which keegan and i got strangely addicted to because it's so stupid.

friday night keegan took me to disney on ice. it was really cool. we went last year too. we have so much fun at things like that. its wonderful. then we went to coldstone.. because that's simply the perfect end to a perfect date. OH and the BEST ice cream you can get there is (strawberry cheesecake ice cream with strawberries, rasberries, bananas, and pie crust) mmm.

lets see what else... i guess thats it. have a good spring break.

( i miss brandi and stacy... fricken COME HOME! )

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brokenmentality

:: 2006 16 March :: 12.12pm

nevermind... im not going.

you are UNbelievable.

brokenmentality

:: 2006 16 March :: 8.56am

aww.. we went to the circus last night. it was really cool. i havent been to the circus since i was like 7, and every time it comes to town we always miss it. :) smiles..... what a wonderful night.

tonight's a rampage game. to bad im going by myself.... ahh well.

brokenmentality

:: 2006 15 March :: 9.21am

im going on a date tonight, where... im not sure. its a suprise. i was just told to get dressed up and to be ready by six. i love how that "feeling" never dies with us. how happy i am when i see you, how proud i am to call you mine, how you simply make me smile even when you're not around. we're going on 16 months now. and im just as giddy and excited to spend time with you as i was when we first started dating. and im not going to be all cheezy and melodramatic and say that you complete me, because you dont. and nobody should feel that way about somebody else. but we complement eachother so perfectly.

1 _ | moved fast

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