You're not the one.
It's been almost three weeks since I updated. There is a lot going on I guess. I don't remember what happened the week of the 10th oh yeah.. It was spring break. Nothin cool happened. I didn't do anything until the 10th. I don't remember what though. The next week my parents were gone. Didn't do anythign then either. Oh.. I had bryan over friday, late night. He was suppose to come over thursday but being as I am number 3 on his list of importance, he decided to go eat tacos with fucking kelly. Anyways... Then Saturday I asked if he wanted to hang out at a party. He asked how long i'd be there and stuff and he was like okay. So, sunday morning rolls around and I call him up.

Me: What'd you end up doin' last night?
Him: Oh, Tiann came over, we jumped on the trampoline and hung out.
Me: That's cool.......not ReAlLy.

Grr.. that pisses me off as well. I mean I know he wants to hang with his friends and stuff. But I asked him previous to these people and he just decides to hang out with them and not even let me know. So here I am a pathetic fucking puppy waiting for it's owner that never shows.

Okay. Done with that now, onto the next week. It was band follies and stuff and I've been feeling really depressed lately. Mainly about the relationship I am in and myself in general. It feels like I'm trying everything I can to get him to see me and it's like he doesn't want to. The whole time during follies he was with kelly.
Then thursday, he called me. We talked for a little bit and then he said he was at the track meet and that if I wanted to talk to him he would have his cell on and with him and to call. Then, the next day he called as well. He talked to me for a little bit and stuff and then he had to go. Yesturday/last night was prom. We spent the whole day together. We went to grand rapids at like 10 and got back at around two. We went to get his vest and then we went to krispy Kreme and got donuts, then to best buy and guitar center. We came back he stayed for about a half an hour then went home to take a shower and stuff. I did the same thing as well. He came and picked me up at 4 and we went out to eat. We get back at 7 and we change into our prom stuff. We get pictures,go to his house and get more pictures and then finally we are off to the dance. It was pretty fun I guess. We left a little early and just drove around, looked at houses.

I went over to rachel's today and we hung out and went to family dollar.
And now I'm home..feeling not like myself.

Peace of mind
Bryan came over last night. He got here at about 8 and didn't leave until quarter after 11. It was.. spectacular. Wow. I'm still all excited about it. I can't stop thinking and feeling how he made me feel. When I breathe I feel open, each breath feels so good. *sigh* Bryan is the best kisser. Haha. Man.. I'm completely head over heals for him!

I want to see these guy's concert.
Let's see here... Last night I was at the High School the whole time. We were mingleing with the SouthField Christian Jazz band. All of us went to B.C Pizza and and then came back to the High School and chilled. I stayed up till about 3 or 4 and I woke up at about 7 30. so I got about two and a half to three and a half hours of sleep. I got up at 7 30 to go shopping. I ended up taking back my first dress and buying the black one I wanted originally. I got back and talked to Bryan on the phone. Then, I baked some cookies and went to the High School. Bryan showed up and we hung out for a while at the show. I made him slow dance with me :) It was cute. He was so embarrassed but he sucked it up and danced with me. When we got back to my house we ended up dancing in my room to "running" by No Doubt. He pulled me tight and ran his jaw along my neck sending chills down my spine. After that, we layed on my bed and cuddled a little bit. I love it when he runs his hands along my curves, especially when it's bare skin to skin. This just makes every bit of contact ten times more sensitive and sensual. And then, my father made him leave. Just as we start getting comfy, figures...

Gonna Miss You
Alright, Things are going.. odly.
Kelly (bryan's best friend/cousin/wants him) is trying out for cheerleading now and I have a major problem with it. I can't act like myself around her and she is going to take away one thing that bryan and I have together. This is how he found out how I really acted. I can be me in cheer. Now I can't. I don't like her. At all. I would love to say I hate her. But I know I don't. I just... Guh... she pisses me off so frickin' much. She makes me want to cry. She is intimidating and makes me feel like I'm worthless. It's amazing what one person can do JUST by their presence. She makes me feel completely lost and like I don't belong. It's just so.. akward. I can't take it. If she makes cheer. I honestly think that I would have to quit. Otherwise I would break down because she bothers me so much. I'm such a horrible person for thinking all of this. I guess I can be horrible once in a while. She makes me feel horrible...

I'm sorry... sooo sorry.
Bryan came over last night. He got his ear done! It looks really cool. He called me after he got it done and he passed out! The guy there said it happens all the time though. Something about being really excited and having your sugar levels go down and blood pressure up or something. Anyways, he came over and I saw it and it looks very cool. I like it. When I saw other people's industrial in the ear it looked kind of .. not that cool. And I actually like his, it looks good. We were laying on my bed or something and I put my arm around him and I accidentally hit it.. and it turned really dark red. I felt bad! I have to keep my hands below his head now so I don't hurt him.

Today is sunday, a boring day filled with ...church. Maybe I can go to grand rapids with my grandma! Yay! I havn't done that in a long time. Maybe she can take me to jc penny so I can take back my dress and find a new one! Well... I'm off to get ready for church.

Right back where we started from...
Things are going well now. Bryan and I talked about this week and stuff. About how he feels about the girls that leave when we go to his locker. They don't like me and he tells me not to take what they say to heart. Their opinions don't matter. He thinks it's humerous that they are jealous of what I have. I think it's pretty funny that they are that pathetic. He is going to cedar to get his ear done tomorrow. I guess someone told him there was a good piercing and tattooing place there. I tried to take back my prom dress but ...there werent any other dresses there and I guess this one is okay for now. I did buy some venus razor refils. My legs are very hairy. Bryan said that he could picture us together. Together as in married. And I am alright with that.

Gonna Miss You
*sigh*:) I'm sore but yet I feel so good. I can't stop smiling. I'm always happy these days. Even if I fall and land on my face.. If he's there I'll be laughing and crying at the same time. I've been weightlifting everyday. My dad says that I look like I have muscle so that is good:) Districts are tomorrow, Yay. Bryan is getting his industrial soon and I am going with him to get it. It's going to be gross!! O~well... I'm off to weight lift some more.