If you need me..You know be there!!

If you need me..You know be there!!

:: 2004 27 February :: 3.49pm
:: Mood: moody
:: Music: yeah--usher--lil jon--n luda

Without you, nothing seems worth it =(
Wow today, yeah it was interesting!! Actually it was good, besides the fact that tiffany and me almost got into a fight!! I swear iw ould have socked the shit outta her if she wasnt cassie's friend!! i hate when i try to be respectful!! =(

But besides that, one good thing was that kyndra came into skool today tot alk to me! She didnt even have any other appointments, she jus wanted to talk to me cuz she said she would talk to me again sometime this week!! Then she was late to her appt lol but i'll see her tues in group at skool!! YaY!! =)

omg i luv this song its country, its i luv you this much by some odd guy i dont know lol but its a good song everyone listen to it =p

neways i dont think me and steve are going to work out this time!! But me and James are getting real close and whats his face asked me back out, so yeah..im okay!! =) cept i miss my baby =( and wif snowfest this next week, dammit i need him here wif me..srry depressing moment, back now!! =)

i have to go to da doctor when my mommy gets home, we think that i pulled a muscle in my shoulder dammit!! =( it hurts like hell ='(

neways thats enough for now, i think that ima get offline, internet bores me anymore..the only reason i get online is for this journal, and to talk to britts, but of krose she dont get hoem till like 4 30 and is never online anymore anyway so no use being online!! Luv you all =)

love..me!!

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 27 February :: 3.49pm
:: Mood: moody
:: Music: yeah--usher--lil jon--n luda

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 25 February :: 11.57am
:: Mood: sore

Okay just sittin here in renteria's class being bored..man this lady gets on my nerves shes a bitch!!

But oh wells..neways nothing really been happening lately..cept one BIG THING!!

me and steve finally started talking again!! Omg yesterday we were talking during lunch cuz i went up to him cuz he was sad about something and yeah i was takling to him and we jus keep gettin closer and closer and den like yeah we hugged and then we kissed and when lunch was over we went to his 4th hour so we could tell him teacher and then we walked to my 4th hour and we were kissing and everything then he met me after 4th hour and we walked together to the lobby and then like he grabbed me and pulled me to the side and we were kissing and huggin and talkin and everything till my mom got there to pick me up!! So yeah i dnot know whats gonig on wif that..he keeps sayin you need to get ungrounded soon so that i can see you and we can go back out..yeah what if i dont wanna go out wif him again. But neways..

Yeah i went to meet my counsler last night. She is really really awesome!! I like her. Im going every tues at 3 pm!! YaY!! Ima get *better* hah funny shit!!

Well ima go for now..latah everyone!!

britters i miss you soo fuckin much!!

And ali jean, did you call me yesterday?? omg if you did im seriously going to kill my lil sister!! Dude if you can call me tonight or whenever you can!! i luv you soo fuckin much and miss you tons!! =)

Love..Jilly!! <33

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 22 February :: 3.37pm
:: Mood: thoughtful

well nothing has really been happening
this weekend, just worked last night
That was really fun tho, i aint seen tammy
in like wat seems like forever..but now she
wants me to come over this week and baby-
sit her lil girl, but im major busy, but of korse
i said that i would..wat a nice person eh =p

Last night steve called me after i got outta
work and we were talking for a while, and
he asked me if i would ever go back out with
him, and i said i dont know, and asked why
and he said because he wants to go back
out when im not grounded anymore, bcuz he
misses me..HAH BULLSHIT!! But no i really
dont want to go back out wif him, i need to
get my shit straight before i have a relationship
ya know..i need some time by myself, some
time for jilly for a while..then ill start dating
again, but just not right now. =)

Oh yeah you guys.. *chelsie mostly* im
getting *help* omg miss conrad/mrs beer
was soo happy lol..it was soo cute!! But
freal i am gettin help, im talking to a counsler
at skool and then im seeing one at the aware
shelter, and then im going to group counsling
at the aware shelter, and then im doing this
like second challenge day thingy to help other
students and everytyhing, *to become a
challenge day leader* and yeah then im doing
this like group counsling thingy at skool that
mrs arkison is doing, its on tues the first day,
then at the otehr group counsling is the
same day after skool..its gonna be great
you would be soo proud =p

Well thats enough for today, ima go..luv you
all soo much!! Latah!!

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 20 February :: 9.43am
:: Mood: restless

Wow were jus sittin here in uprights class and we arent doing anything, so i might as well just write in here..

Urgh me and my mom are like fighting soo horrible..we actually got into a fist fight the other day..all yesterday i had to walk around with this huge red mark rite on my face..it was soo noticable i felt like sucha loser =/

I dont think that im ever going to be ungrounded..which means that i will never be able to do anything..with anyone..so me n steve are going to start not talking, and then cassie and I are going to lose touch again..and urgh all of my friends are gettin mad at me cuz i either cant do anything..or ive gotta work ='(

The only thing good about this week, is that me and Brandy are becoming alot better friends!! She is really awesome!! I luv this gurl hehe!! But she thinks that i like really dont like her that much cuz like she dont have very many friends here at nw yet..and so she asked me if i wanted to go to holt with her and met some of her friends this weekend, but no i cant..gotta friggin work, and im still grounded!! =(

Dammit i miss my baby ali jean!! I seriously wish that i could talk to her soo friggin bad!! I jus wanna cry ='( But i wont cuz like wat my mom said before, your not surposed to cry..it makes you a weak person =/ And i friggin miss brittany marie gamester too!! Babes i luv you and hope that your okay..gosh i miss everyone..oh well life goes on ig uess =(

Well ima go..i think that im going to like go to bed or something..latah everyone =(

<33 Jilly!!

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 18 February :: 9.55am
:: Mood: indescribable

Rest in peace!!
Omfg everyone!! Joes dad died..hes dead..gone forever..and kevin hes in the hospital with like a swollen brain and then like a broken jaw and all of his teeth knocked out!!

Omg i hurried as fast as i could to this class too, and i found duffey sittin at her computer all alone with nobody around and shes was bawling!! I jus grabbed her and she was shakin and she didnt let go or anything..omg i feel soo horrible!! I seriously luv sidnee duffey soo fuckin much!! shes means everything to me and i hope that she is okay..this really sucks!! i hate this, i luv her soo much shes still crying!! ='(

Brittany marie gamester i miss you call me tonight if you read this and if you want to. But yeah i luv you soo much and miss you tons!!

And ali jean, omg i got ur letter last nite..omg your the best friend ever sweetie pie!! Awwe your soo sweet i started crying!! i luv you soo fuckin much!! awwes!! Ima write you back..and well ya know!! lol i luv you soo much!!

Please pray for kevin that he is okay..and pray for little joe and mallory *shes only six, and little joe is 15 my age, and then kevin is only 12* and thier mother..god help us down here *yesh i said god britt*

<33 Jilly!!

Okay im going to just edit this journal entry and write while WE ARE DOING NOTHING..wait i mean while brandy is doing nothing in tuckers class!! =) heh

Well nothing much has happened since last hour but yeah duffey didnt stop crying the whole class, it was really upsetting, and i started crying.. *yesh i actually started crying brittany*

But yeah we've gotta get going..ill write more latah t nite!!

BRANDY IS AN ASSHOLE!! =) heh jk shes kool..*britt u know all bout dat*

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 14 February :: 5.19pm

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYONE!!

I LUV YOU ALL =)

britts chels megs n my baby ali jean!! Have a wonderful v day!! i luv you all soo fuckin much!!

ali jean i luv you..ur my valentine!! and the best one at that!!

Britts ur my second valetine but you mean jus as much i luv you all!! latah babes!!

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 13 February :: 2.29pm
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: one call away --chingy!!

Wow today was rather eventful!!

i got 7 valentines total..by special special ppl except for the one from steve sayin he wanted me back and he still lvoes me..BULLSHIT!! heh =)

yeah neways..oh wow great news everyone!! Sidnee won representing queen for our freshmen class!!! yayayay were soo friggin happy!! And then shadell got it for sophmore!! Dats soo friggin awesome im soo glad!! =)

But yeah..nothing too big to write bout!! Me and britts are doing great!! i luv that girl soo fuckin much!! Britts your the best thing thats ever happened to me i fuckin luv you!! =)

BlOw BuBbLeZ : i will call you squisssssssshy
BlOw BuBbLeZ : and you shall be miiiiiiiiiiiiine
BlOw BuBbLeZ : nd u shall be my squisssssssshy

^^haha aint she da cutest thing!!

BlOw BuBbLeZ : why not somewhere u can get married homosexually:-P

BlOw BuBbLeZ : that i love yer guts n forever we shall be together :-)
BlOw BuBbLeZ : in a non sexual way so dont get yer hopes up
xSwEetoXoKiSseSx: oh dammit!!
BlOw BuBbLeZ : lol sorry i kinda led you onn :-P

^^And you wonder why i luv this gurl soo much!! awwe hehe!! babes i luv you soo fuckin much!!

well dats enough for now..latah everyone!! =)

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 13 February :: 9.24am
:: Mood: happy

Awwe everyone luved thier lil presents i got em for v day!! Im soo happy!! =)

Me n duffey, *sidnee* were just talkin buot britt...haha it was interestin conversation. And den she said she was *PRETTY* cuz she saw pix of her dat i put in my agenda..

haha steve is going out wit Tuesday..FUCKIN GROSS!! I was walkin in da hall earlier and yeah i walked past him and i was already tardy so he came up to me and tried to give me a hug but cassie ran up to me jus in time and saved me and gave me a nice hug!! lol

Neways i jus wanted to say happy v day to my valentine ali jean!! I luv you soo fuckin much babes!! Cant wait to read ur letter i luv you and hope to talk to you soon babes!! Have a great v day!!

HAVE A GREAT VALENTINES DAY BRITTANY MARIE GAMESTER AND CHELSIE WHITESALL *CANT SPELL UR MIDDLE NAME OR MEMBER IT I THINK NOT SURE LOL*

Im soo happy n hyper riten ow..cept ive gotta go to all my classes today for once cuz mrs arkison aint here dammit..oh wells..lit comp is next..yay..NOT!! oh well me n brittney will have some fun there!!

well i better get going..luv you all lots!! latah everyone!!

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 12 February :: 10.02pm
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: yeah--lil jon n usher

Time to update this!!
Wow aint nota whole lot happening around here really jus sittin here at larrys, had to get outta my house for abit, and get v day stuff for 2marrow..yayay wat i got for everyone is soo cute!! =)

2marrow is an early release day, good thing too cuz i couuldnt take another day of skool!! Whew too much for me right now!! Cant handle all of this!!

Awwe my baby gurl ali jean sent me a letter, which i sould get like 2marro, maybe 2 day, i unno im hoping, and she *says* shes sendin 2 more 2marro hah =p Awwe 2 more days till v day!!

Your all i need, my luv, my valentine

Babes your the best person ever, thanks for bein there through all this preganet shit *which im NOT!!* and all of this steve shit, your the best i luv you!!

Oh gosh you too britts n chelsie!! Your the best, i could seriously not live without you. ANd chels ya know wat i was jus thinking, ya now how we said we'd try to get together every month at least once..hah i saw you da day after me and steve started going out ='( but yeah nov 22nd its been too long babes, i miss you and think we sould get together!! luv you both tons!!

Omg ya know who i aint talked to in..FOREVER..my lizzo..kathryn, awwe, dat sucks!! i miss her tons!!..awwe!! Somebody tell her dat i said hey n dati luv her.

well dats enough for now..buot to leave anyway..luv you all..byes!!

<33 Jilly!!

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 9 February :: 10.42am
:: Mood: DEPRESSED..READ DAT CAREFULLY!!!!

omfg..
Dude omg, steve and i just broke up before this class, and already hes like flirting wif every gurl and hes like all happy n shit..

I told him about wat happened wif my mom and wanted to know wat he wanted to do wif our relationship and everything and yeah i told him dat i wouldnt be able to see him barely and den we both went to our 1st hours and den yeah he came back after 1st hour and yeah den he told me dat i could give his shit back, and then yeah i said i would, and den he said dat we could still be friends and everything, and den he was like well maybe when things work out wif your mom den we can start talkin again..BULLSHIT!!

omfg i wanna die, hes da only guy ive ever felt something about, and yeah i know that you all this yeah well you'll get back together, but this time it was freal..no more like talkin on da phone every nite..no more sittin togetherin the morning, no more kisses before class, no more riot together, NO MORE ANYTHING!!

i hate this, im sittin here bawling in the middle of class, i havent done anything in this class yet and its almost over..

and den nicole invited me to her baby shower and gave me this cute lil invation and everything and i prolly wont be able to go, and i really wanna surport her, 14 years old havin a kid she needs all she can get..

my mom is pickin me up early to go da shelter and to go to counsling and den da police station..i fuckin hate her..she told me to break up wif steve too but i siad i wouldnt..i wanna die!!

but i lu vyou all of you and hope to hear from you sometime..i luv you soo fuckin much!!

ex you ali jean brittany chelsie megan stacey al of you omg i all of you..i lu vyou ='(

<33 Jilly!!

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 7 February :: 7.36pm

IM SRRY YOU GUYS..MY MOM IS TAKIN THE INTERNET AWAY..IM SRRY I WONT GET TO TALK TO ANYONE OF YOU

I LUV YOU ALL SOO FUCKIN MUCH I HATE THIS..IM GONNA DIE!!

I'LL EXPLAIN LATAH CUZ ILL PROLLY GET ON HERE THROUGH SKOOL BUT IT WONT BE DA SAME

I LUV YOU BRITTANY, MEGAN, CHELSIE, STACEY, ALI JEAN, ALL OFYOU OMG IM LUV YOU ALL ='(

BYE..DONT YOU ALL GO FORGETIN BOUT ME I LUV YOU ALL..BYES!!!

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 1 February :: 4.47pm
:: Mood: moody
:: Music: my mom puking--FUCKIN EWWIE!!

Wow i aint really wrote in here for a few days or something..so i jus thought that i would write in here..

I miss woohu, its soo friggin easy to use!! Livejournal is all like confusing and everything, but its still really kool because like alot of my friends from like skool and everything have it, but i still really miss woohu..cuz even tho there is alot of ppl from skool on livejournal, they dont have my homebase ppl like britt chels n megs there..so livejournal yesh, sucks!! Without you 3 anything sucks!! =)

Me and brittany are doing good, me and chelsie are going really good, *thanks babes* and then me and megs, well shes mad at me i guess..=/ ill have to fix that shit..

And then me and steve are okay i guess, hes kinda mad cuz ryan stayed the night last nite, but were gonna talk latah, im surposed to be going to the mall wif him and josh and cassie, but yeah, im not sure if i want to because the reason were goin is cuzt ehre is this teen pregancy thingy gonig on there and we all wanted to check it out, but yeah i dont know if i wanna go yet..*still no news on all of that shit* =/ kinda scared..

Oh wells, neways i really dont have all that much to say so ima go..luvy ou all byes!!=)

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 27 January :: 8.28pm
:: Mood: frustrated

Finally updating woohu
yeah i knwo i aint updated in a while..its cuz of my new livejournal..its hard to keep up wif cuz liek alot of my friends have it and yeah its fun ya kno!!

yeah i had a HORRIBLE day today..i did something horrible!! i dont know wat im surposed to do, for the few of you that know about wat happened, what do u think that i sould do??

And chels..if i really had to go to that *place* we were talkin about..would u really go wif me?? It would mean alot to me..but i cant tell my mom..i dont know waht im surpsoed to do here..

Im going to call steve rite now..i think..im not sure i think i mite wanna do it in person..but im leavin rite now either way ive gotten sick twice..cryin soo hard and soo frustrated..and den i have this HUGE HUGE killin pain in my side.soo ima go!!

Luv you all bye!!

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