If you need me..You know be there!!

If you need me..You know be there!!

:: 2004 24 January :: 6.10pm

+ Basics +
Are you emotional :: Sometimes it depends..
Do songs make you cry? If so, name a few :: No
What about movies :: Yesh, love n basketball, hardball, save the last dance, remember the titans *dont ask* =p
What emotion do you usually feel :: Prolly sad the mostest
+ Sadness +
What does it take to make you cry your heart out :: I unno losin a friend..
How many times have you done that :: Like 3 times =(
Where do you cry :: Usually by myself
Do you hate crying :: Yesh most of the time
Do you like it when others cry :: No, cuz dat would mean thier sad bout sumpthin =(
Do you think tears make eyes look pretty :: Yesh!!
Who looks good when they cry :: James, or Cassie
How else do you express sadness :: poems mostly
Are you sad all the time :: I guess u could say dat..
+ Anger +
What does it take to make you mad :: Not a whole lot =p
What do you do when you're angry :: scream, yell, bitch lots!! =)
How short is your temper :: Well it depends on da situation
How long does it take you to calm down :: Not too long really!!
What's the worst thing you've done when you were mad :: Uhm, i unno ask another time =p
Do you freak out when others are angry :: No i usually try n chill em out!
Has anyone ever recommended anger management to you :: No lol
What's the worst thing someone's done to make you mad :: I dont know that either..
Do you anger people :: Sometimes =/
+ Joy +
How often are you happy :: Depends..try to be all da time
What makes you happy :: Being wif my friends, or bf, or doing somethin fun
What do you do when you're happy :: Giggle alot =p *giggles*
How optimistic are you :: not very..
Do happy people make you mad :: No not at all
What's the worst thing someone can do while they're happy :: I dont know..why would some1 do something bad when thier happy?
Ever been so happy you were dying to tell everyone :: yeah!! =) prolly 11*21*03 =p
Ever been so happy you cried :: yeah, i cry alot!!
Do you smile a lot :: Yesh, i try!
Kiss people a lot:: Yesh =p
Who really makes you happy :: Britt, Steve, Ali, Stacey, lots of ppl!!
Do you like doing things for people when you're happy :: yesh korse! Spread da joy!!
+ Fear +
What do you do when you're scared :: I usually hid under my blankie =) lol
What scares you :: Losing my friends
Do you like scaring people :: Yesh its fun!
Do you like the trill of being frightened :: Yesh, not all da time tho!
Does fear accompany anger in your case :: No
Ever been so scared you couldn't breathe :: Yesh a few times
How often do you panic :: Not alot actually
What's the one thing that scared you more than anything else EVER :: Losing brittany =(
What do you do to calm your nerves :: Forget bout it..
Do rollercoasters scare you :: Heck no!! =)
+ The strongest emotion +
What song never fails to get your strongest emotions going :: *Dear mama* or *changes* by Tupac
Movie :: Hardball or Remember the titans *long story* =p
Commericial :: I hate commercials but prolly..da..hadababyitsaboy..LMFAO!!
Person :: Brittany ali stacey or steve =)
Thing :: My Happy monkey!!
Sight :: Someone crying
Sound :: Someone cryin or yellin or somethin to dat effect..
Food :: Ice cream or chocolate!! lol
Thing you're looking forward to/want :: Being kidnapped by my baby ali..seein stacey..or brit =)..mostly bein kidnapped tho heh
+ What do you do +
When the emotion suck :: cry prolly
When the emotion rocks :: Be loud, smile, be weird lol
When there's no emotion :: cry agains
+ Would you rather +
Never feel again :: yesh i would
Feel loneliness or anger for the rest of your life :: anger, i hate being lonely =(
Be happy forever and never experience bad times :: yeah sure y not
Cause misery :: No way
Feel misery :: uhm no..
Be alone :: Hell no!!
Be with everyone you know :: Yesh!!
+ Who +
Cheers you up more than anyone else :: Ali jean korse
Angers you more than anyone else :: Brittney stewart prolly da mostest but not all da time!
Scares you more than anyone else :: Tiffany..damn her..almost made me die one time lol
Makes you think about your emotions more than anyone else :: Cassie smith prolly
Makes you really care about how they feel and what they think :: Brittany =)

Emotions brought to you by BZOINK!

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 24 January :: 1.28pm
:: Mood: fuckin pissed off!!!

I bet you all 10$$ that me n my moms will have to leave t nite!!

Any takers? =/

And if im gone fo a couple of days or so..den im at katies..but i mite not have to leave..not sure yet..

All i know is dat THEY WILL FIGHT T DAY..you watch i know they will..my step dad is f'ing pissed..

And ya know wats funny.its my damn fault again..wow go figure..aint it always? =(

I dont give a fuck anyway..oh wells..bye!!

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 24 January :: 11.31am
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: megans singin..dats a first and last =p

as time goes on..
Well i got a livejournal..and a xanga and im not sure if im going to keep this one up or not..but i mite..cuz im not sure dat im going to be able to figure out da livejournal..and yeah xanga i forgot how much it sucked =p

But yeah britt talked to me last nite..im soo happy!! Im not sure where things r going from there..but ya know im not going to burst my bubble!! hehe *p.s. britt u didnt need to be srry..im da one dat needs to be..and is soo very much*

Chelsie i luv you thanks!! I didnt know a blonde could be so rite all da damn time =p lol im only kiddin u knwo i luv you babes!!

Megan if u need me im here fo you..anyday anytime..whenever babes!! I luv you soo much and i care bout you lots..dont ever forget dat!! =)

Other den dat aint got nothing to say really..britt n all of dem are at busch gardens rite now..i hope thier havin a great time!!

Yeah was surposed to go to da mall wif megs..but NO! oh well i dont give a u fuck..im bout to call jessica to see wat shes doing t day cuz i dont wanna be here..so byes!

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 23 January :: 4.16pm
:: Mood: pissed off

And it continues still..
Whew chelsie was talkin bout all of her good grades yesterday and we got our report cards t day so i thought that i would jus post mine on here and show you all that i didnt fail every class like i thought that i was going to..but yeah thier stil horrible..but i dont give a fuck..here they r::

Intro to print media-E exam-B final grade-D
Core plus math-E exam B+ final grade-E
Phys Ed-C exam-B- final grade-C
Tech-C exam-D+ final grade-C
Earth Science-E exam E final grade E
Freshmen trans-B+ exam-E final grade-C
Lit comp-E exam-D final grade-E
German-C exam-B final grade C+

Yeah sucky eh? =/ oh well..neways bye..

Make sure you read the three entries before this one!! =)

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 22 January :: 10.13pm

And last but certainitly not least..brittany marie gamester..

Yeah as most of you already know..me and britt have been havin alot of problems, im not really sure wats going on, but i really fucked up this time, i ruined everything, really i did..=(

But ya know wat, brittany still means more to me than anything in the whole world, brittany will always be my best friend even if she is upset and doesnt want to talk to me..tho i really really really dont blame her..But really brittany i seriously cant live without you, ur the best thing dats ever happened to me, im srry for all of the pain that ive ever caused you, it wasnt on purpose, i would never ever want to hurt you, tho i know i have ohh soo many times..

Brittany your the only reason that i wake up in the morning to face a new day, ur the only reason that im living, your the only person that has NO MATTER WAT, through EVERYTHING, through all of the shit ive put you through ur the ONLY person that has been there fo me through it all..no matter wat..you were always there, no questions asked..And i wish that i would have been a better friend and was there like you were there fo me and would have appreciated everything that i had while i had it..now i know wat they mean by that quote *Appreciate wat you have while you have it, cuz 2marro it mite be gone* ='(

Id give anything to get you back and to get things back to the way thigns used to be, anything..=(

But i guess im not the one dat has to make that decision..but britt member dat i do luv you soo much and id do anything fo you, and i will ALWAYS be here for yo no matter wat..i luv you!!

Rockergurl217: when was this anyway
J d shortier 623: when was wat?
Rockergurl217: that u did that thing
J d shortier 623: wat thing?
Rockergurl217: THA THING!
Rockergurl217: U KNOW WHAT THING!~
J d shortier 623: dat c** m***** thing?
Rockergurl217: yesh'
Rockergurl217: that!
when!?
J d shortier 623: uhm...
J d shortier 623: :: 2003 23 October :: 11.43 pm
Rockergurl217: �
Rockergurl217: wats today the25th?
J d shortier 623: uh huh
Rockergurl217: so were back to 2?!
Rockergurl217: 141! HOLY SHIT JILLY!
J d shortier 623: :-\
Rockergurl217: thats great gurly
J d shortier 623: no its not!!
Rockergurl217: any idea how proud i am of you?
J d shortier 623: I wanna write big too...i feel over poweredO:-)
Rockergurl217: lol
J d shortier 623: no its not good!!
Rockergurl217: yesh it is jillane
J d shortier 623: Jill*
Rockergurl217: jill you have no idea how proud i am of you
Rockergurl217: soooo
Rockergurl217: soooo
J d shortier 623: You souldnt be!!
Rockergurl217: sooo
Rockergurl217: damn proud
Rockergurl217: u made it fuckin 141 days!
J d shortier 623: DONT BE!
Rockergurl217: thats like *counts*
J d shortier 623: dont try n count babe it'll be okay:-P
Rockergurl217: almost 5 months!
Rockergurl217: i used a calculater:-P:-P
J d shortier 623: haha:-P cheater
Rockergurl217: that is so great and so were back to 2? who cares we can easily make it again
J d shortier 623: it sould of and could and would of been longer!! :-\ dats not long enough
Rockergurl217: so then itll be easier to make it up n keep going jill dont put urself down cuz of this its otay itll be otay cuz i love u n were gonna make it longer okay?

^^A great example of britt always being there fo me and always tryin to cheer me up.. i luv you more than words could ever explain..dont ever forget dat..=/

Well dats enough ppl fo rite now..im dead tired..=( byes ppl!!

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 22 January :: 9.55pm

Okay the second one will be about Chelsie!! =)

Chelsie..whew wat to say bout chelsie, well shes always there fo me and always sticks by my side no matter wat i do to hurt her, and i couldnt appreciate her more!!

Shes my lil blondenutcase!! Whew forgot bout dat now didnt ya blondie =p hehe jk i luv yous!!

But really shes soo sweet and soo much fun to be around and im soo glad dat we met dat one time and now have gotten to still see eachother tho not very much..wat happened to that once a month thingy =p we need to get together gains its been way to long!! Jilly misses you!! =)

Swiss Cheese:jill i wrote a lil song 4 u and it goes sumtin like this ::::: dont wry b happy dont wry be happy:::then it goes:: I feeelll good i knew tht i wuld i feeeeelll good i knew tht i wuld so good so good i got ya i feeel nice like sugr n spice so nice so nice i feeeel good
J d shortier 623: hahahah ur sucha cutie pie!! i LUV you!!:-X
J d shortier 623: :-D**
SwissCheese: hehe i luv u 2!!!!!!!
SwissCheese: o i kno im jus so dang cute
J d shortier 623: yesh u r;-)

Hehe..wat a cutie pie..i luv dat gurl soo much =) I luv you chelsie!!

Dont forget bout our booty tickler n our strawberry milkshake trail back to davids..lol luv yous!

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 22 January :: 9.24pm

First ill write about my ali jean!! =)

Ali jean is the sweetest, most caring, sensitive person that i know, shes always there for me no matter wat!! I appreciate my baby more than anything!! I dont know wat i would do without her, shes da best person ever!

And were going on a roadtrip sometime..cant member when like july something or another, cuz yeah iknow its after her b day heh =)

And also when im 18 my baby is kidnappin me!!! WOo HOo!! =)

jdshortier623: There are many things that I would like to say to you..
But I don't know how.
aWhOleLoTaSeXiX: oh jill i didnt no u felt that way ;-)
aWhOleLoTaSeXiX: jk jk
aWhOleLoTaSeXiX: :-P
jdshortier623: oh yesh ali..ur jus soo damn sexxi i cant resist myself..im very attrached to yew!! :-*;-)
jdshortier623: haha u goofball:-P
aWhOleLoTaSeXiX: hehe
aWhOleLoTaSeXiX: we have an interesting relationship lol

Hehe i luv my baby gurl =)

We'll be together forever ali jean!! No matter wat..i luv you soo much..ur da best thing dats ever happened to me, thanks fo everything, i luv you!!

Okay dats enough for ali jean fo rite now =)

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 22 January :: 9.22pm
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: The movie swat playin..

A lil something fo kicks..
Okay im going to stop here..and restart i think..im not sure if i sould jus restart journal or not cuz there is alot of stuf fin here dat i mite wanna keep for future reference lol ya know? oh wells i guess i wont..

But okay rite now im gonna write bout my friends..but im gonna write it in a new entry cuz ive gotta write a whole bunch of entries right quick..=)

Im dieing without your gental touch

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 19 January :: 11.06pm
:: Mood: fuckin pissed..

And noneoftheless, its gets worse..
Wow, its fun ruining jillys life, anyone else wanna try? Geesh it really is fun, you all sould try..

Well jus wanted to say srry britt, you mean everythin to me, and i cant live my life without you, your the best thing dats ever happened to me..and i miss youmore than anything in da whole world, plz dont leave me..im srry, i knw i was relaly really stupid, and i know i souldnt have said dat, and im srry its jus i miss you, and i luv you..plz..i luv you..

neways have ntohing else to say, had a good day till t nite, when i ruined my day/my life..

Oh yeah i got my hair done today..platuim blonde babey..yeah my mom didnt know bout it tho ive had da appointment fo like 2 weeks now..but yeah she freaked..im grounded..cept she said she luvs it..next im gettin my red strikes..cant wait to see her reaction to dat..oh well i dont care..i hope she dies..

I hope i die..

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 18 January :: 7.43pm
:: Mood: irritated

As time goes on..
Today was interestin, no brittany of korse..but im thinkin its cuz mis n amber r down in florida rite now..i dunno. But i got to talk to chels t day!

I have no idea why..but i had this like *itch* to talk wif swiss t day, it was really weird, i jus really needed to talk to her t day..so now i feel better since i talked to her =)

Havent called my baby yet t day, i kinda dont want to, cuz as soon as i do, im gonna get bitched cuz i had to work yesterday and couldnt see him, and den cuz at riot *i was ignorin him and wouldnt talk to him* cept he was playin b ball, but watch im sure ill get bitched at fo dat, who wants to bet 10$?? Anyone? Didnt think so..

I did absolutly nothing t day, actually im still in my pjs. Whew im being soo lazy t day, but its okay cuz i dont have skool 2marro =) yippie!!

Neways i dont have anything to say, so yeah im done, latah everyone!!

I luv my skut Brittney!! Glad ur bak online babe!! Missed you!!

I luv you too brittany gamester!! hehe hope ur havin fun wateva ur doing!! *mwuh*

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 18 January :: 12.26am
:: Mood: numb

What else could go wrong?
Okay this is to britts comment thingy in the entry below this one::

Brittany, you are the reason dat i aint c*ut* myself in however da hell long its been, not steve, i dont give a fuck about steve, i mean yeah i care bout him, but he dont *care* bout me like you do, and i dont care wat he thinks, he barely even knws that i cut myself, so how could he make me stop..?

Britt ur da one dats always been there fo me through all of this shit, your da one dats tryin to help me stop though its been a long tough road, your the one dat has never given up on me, no matter how many times you know u sould have..

And bout the whole depressed thing, you wouldnt know how im really doing anyway, i mean you ask bout you dont care anymore, to tell you the truth i have no had a all good day in fuckin forever, i cry myself sleep every single nite, i beg and pray for the all mighty god to take me away and fuckin kill me rite then and there, i scream and yell at him for not killin me the day before, i feel like fuckin shit every day that im alive, and if it werent fo you i would kill myself..I wish dat i had the strength to kill myself every day, you have no idea, its like i dont know how to xplain it, i dont feel anything anymore, like idont care bout my grades, i dont care bout my friends, my family, my life, i dont give a fuck anymore, i feel like numb from the inside out, i feel that nobody cares, and nobody sould, and i wish that nobody would, so den it wouldnt be so fuckin hard to kill myself!! Sooner or latah ill be strong enough, and *hopefully* ill still be going out wif steve, and dat will prove to you that tho i mite be happy cuz of him sometimes he still dont make me all happy and not depressed and shit, so dont fuckin say dat, u have no fuckin idea..

I dont know wat to say to you, to any of you, xcept one thing::If i were to die 2marro, jus know dat i luv you more than anything, and nothing could ever have changed dat ever, and dat you were a huge part of my life and who i was, even if it didnt seem like it, every word you said, every thing you taught me, ill remember forever, i luv you all..dont ever forget it..

If only i could die 2marro..=(

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 16 January :: 11.32pm
:: Mood: giggly

I luv my babey!! =)
Awwe omg i had da best time at riot t nite!! I luv my baby steve!! Hes soo sweet to me, *cept this hickie, which he will get his ass beat fo lol* but newho, i had da bestest time omg i luv this kid, i wanna be wif him forever, until the day i die!! Hes so great to me, i couldnt ask fo anything more!! 11*21*03 *Best day of mah life* =)

Whew i finally got to see my whore kristie lol, shes still as boy crazy as she always was lol oh wells i still luv her, and i got to see danielle's and yeah dat was great lol were gonna start hangin out more heh =) and i saw lisa *korse* and brittney bunker and stewart, and cassie and gosh everyone else was there, haha nobody went ot da dance t nite, go figure!!

Britt says dat im becoming one of the ppl dat we used to make fun of, well britt its okay, im happy..and dats a friggin first!! So yeah im fine wif being a lil boy crazy lil loserish prepish fag..lol but im srry, if you would like me to stop n break up wif him i will =) but only fo you!! hehe..i luv you lots babe!!

I luv my baby boo steve, forever and ever!!

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 16 January :: 6.26pm
:: Mood: busy
:: Music: What dat hook gon be? Murphy lee

nothing really
Haha well i really dont have much time but i jsu wanted to come on here and tell wat happened wif me and steve, yeah were back together and things r soo great, whew im soo soo happy, i think dat i luv this guy..and yesh britt ir eally do mean luv, i think dat i am in luv and you all know dat i woudlnt say dat if id idnt totally mean it =) Its weird..but yeah i luv being in *luv* hehe if dats even wat this is!!

Yeah rite now im going to riot wif steve and cassie and josh and all of them..alotta ppl will be there cuz its friday but yeah i realy wanna see me baby and cassie, oh gosh me and cassie r friends again..its great!! =) im luvin dat too!! hehe and dats all thanks to steve, cuz like josh n cassie r giong out and yeah steve and iw ere talkin bout cassie and den now steve started hangin out wif josh and cassie is alwyas wif josh and im usually wif steve so yeah now were hangin out more..so yeah dats great!!!!!!

And me and britt are talkin again, good thing too cuz i thought dat i was going crazy, im not sure wat happened, but ya know i luv dat gurl moer than anything in the whole world and nobody will ever come close tomeain how much she means to me!! NOBODY!! i luv you brittany marie gamester!!

Oh yeah and brittney stewart is going to riot t nite too..which will be kool cuz were gettin along now dat she moved..ick i dont wanna get caught up in her shit tho..shes gettin into alotta hard drugs n stuff..and jilly doesnt want to do dat shit..whew

I talk alot when im happy, anyone else notice!? hehe well luv you all gotat go tho..BYES

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 15 January :: 12.20pm
:: Mood: ditzy
:: Music: dillon singing lol =)

bored in uprights again
lol yeah im in uprights class again even tho i really dont have his class..me n becky dawn went down to mrs arkisons during our science exam thingy and yeah den we came here during our lunch..i get to go home in like 20 minutes..whoo hoo!! lol

Yeah but neways im really glad cuz like yeah megs and chels r friends again..i knew dat would happen cuz jilly is soo smart lol

Neways yah i aint really talked to britt yet..i dont know maybe ill talk to her like next week..maybe shes busy is all..

Yeah and me and steve r back together..ill write in here bout wat happened wif dat latah t nite when i get home cuz i prolly wont be home till latah if my mommy is okay wif our lil plan haah..well gotta go now..lunch is almost over.

Luv you all lots latah!!

I luv mah babey becky dawn..n ali jean too!! =)

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