christini
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2003 21 January :: 4.29pm
:: Mood: worried
:: Music: GC- THE ANTHEM.. ITS #1 on trl!!!!!
what a long crappy day. at least my song was #1 on trl!! k now that my attentions back on this thing.. long, shitty shitty day. it started off good, talked to a bunch of people this morning.. usually dont have time to lol.. n then in spanish we went to meet the new foreign exchange students.. (ayyyyy ) lol liz.. i know im complicating myself! oh well its the story of my life lol.. then history was ok i guess.. pretty boring.. bio...mannnnnnnnn.. god i failed that test so bad today.. probly cause a certain someone kept me from studying last night lol.. w/e.. then we got quizzes back and i got a 40 and an 80 lol startin this semester off great...... w/e i think people are just destined to fail biology. then in pe we had to run another mile.. i only did 3/4 tho lol natalia u were right. and we had to do PUSHUPS! wtF! i think shes tryin to kill me. and something else kinda went down the drain.. not really wantin to publicize it tho lemme know if u think u can help.. i kinda froze up w/something :( o well.. g2g get started on the crapload of work mr mcmanus was kind enough to give me.. and math and french too.. boy this day keeps gettin better n better.. hey at least me and andrea are on good terms again!
i'd dance 1000 steps for you...
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Lizzy
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2003 21 January :: 2.41pm
:: Mood: weirddddd
:: Music: The background of this debate room
Debate class....
Wow I havent updated in awhile. Saw the debate computers and went hey, why not. We have a sub and two seconds ago neil undid my bra and then i had to go to the br and that was annoying. Stupid neil. Anyway this wknd was really fun. On Saturday i just relaxed and did hw in the casa. Then Sunday Bryan came over to my house and we had a nice family dinner. Hehe. He is so friken polite "thank you" a million times :) love u babe. It was really fun, we were watching old tapes of mine lol wow i was such a dork!!! Then yesterday (mon) I went to the mall with mis amigas, Jess, Katherine, Amy and Heather. It was really fun, they gave me this awful makeover and would not let me wash it off. So I was walking around the mall looking like a hooker, yellow and green eyeshadow, blue eyeliner, HOT pink blush and pinkkkk lip gloss. Then we dressed me in um...interesting clothing. Ay caramba! But it was really fun, in addition to the uh, makeover and trying on funky clothes I bought a lot of clothing which was really cool. I havent gone on a shopping spree for awhile so now i'm happy with my purchases. Unfortunetly, its cold and i cant wear it yet! (i bought mostly short-sleeved shirts).
Ok now onto today. Today was pretty boring, cept I got to "meet" the Costa Rican foreign exchange students. Hehe I didn't meet them, just ate the food around yummy...Anne has some interesting pics of me oh gosh. Jeanette is still incredibly disgusting with her cheeseburgers!!! Sooo gross netty. Well I feel self-conscious typing so i'm gonna go bye xoxo
7 steps |
i'd dance 1000 steps for you...
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christini
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2003 20 January :: 9.29pm
:: Mood: torn
:: Music: bowling for soup- surf colorado
christini is confused. i dont know what to do. i was so convinced today that i could move on from emy, and i felt really good about it. but then he came on and apologized for being a jerk and stuff and it was like old times. but then he told me he had to go and he loved me, and i mean i was kinda resistent to him during the whole conversation cause i cant just go back to how things used to be with everything thats been going on. but when he told me he loved me, i mean yeah hes said it before, but now im not sure whether to believe it or not. cause him loving me in the past apparently was being a jerk to me and making me feel shitty about myself. and everytime he apologizes i always just forget about it in hope that things will change, cause he seems so sincere, but then things go back to normal. so i dont know whether to believe him this time when he says he loves me, or not. cause i mean those words are thrown around so much nowadays that u dont know when to believe it or not. and i dont think im ready to go back to that with him, its like a sudden change from lets not talk for 3 weeks to oh i love u, thats just weird.
and i guess thats not the only thing thats bothering me. i know i have to tell him but i dont think i can.. its only fair though. i guess lately with us not talking anymore and separating ive tried to move on, and hes always in the back of my mind, but i think i kinda started to like someone else.. but im not sure yet. and this guys really sweet and i feel like i should give him a chance.. but then part of me still wants emy, so i guess i have to chose between the two. cause the sensible thing to do would be to move on from emy cause hes hurt me numerous times now, shouldnt i give the other guy a chance? but i still have feelings for emy so its really not fair to either of them.. i think for now i just have a lot of thinking to do and think of what I really want. not what other people want from me. but i know that if i were to tell emy, even though its the right thing to do, i think hed just take it as an i dont love u anymore get the fuck out of my life dont talk to me ever again kind of thing. cause thats the kind of reaction he always seems to have. and i dont want that, i just wanna make him understand that the way that weve been for a while, like him maybe not showing me he cares that much made me think that i should move on to someone who in fact does care..i dont even think im making sense.. i just need to get things straight.
i'd dance 1000 steps for you...
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christini
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2003 20 January :: 9.39am
:: Mood: pissed off
:: Music: poem to myself
OMG i havent been this pissed off in a long time. ok WTF.
ok emy sends me an email saying how hes sorry for being a jerk and all this sweet stuff so i stupidly go thinking maybe things will get better, so i email him back yesterday. nice email. i come onto my computer today and i have a message from him, hey sleeping beauty u up yet, i think yay hes being nice today maybe well work it out! as for the emails, i check my mail and he replied with something like this..
well uve changed so much, u dont care about us anymore at all, i wanna trust u but with all the people at ur school .. blahblahblah. basically a blame it all on christine letter. ok wtf. first of all, IF I DIDNT CARE WHY IS IT THAT I, I AM ALWAYS THE ONE TO TRY AND MAKE THINGS BETTER, AND SOLVE THINGS, if i didnt care why would i try so hard to make us work?!?!! and emy its either u trust me or u dont, under any circumstance, ur the one thats always talking about all these girls after u, and how much they like u and they stalk u and all that crap trying to make me jealous or somethng, dont u think i should be the one worried? but no.. i go and trust u. i think that it wasnt me that doenst care, but him, all along, since like november, cause i always tried to solve everything, never him, i was just too in love with him to wanna face the facts and see that he doesnt give a fuck about me, cause if he really did, then he wouldnt always have made me feel like shit, he wouldve actually tried to see me, hed call me, he just wouldnt wanna give up. the emy i used to know and fell in love with wouldntve done this to me, but i guess people change. and the thing that pissed me off most, was that he tried to prove to me that i dont care, because we havent talked in like 3 weeks, yet hes the one always telling me how busy he his, how much he hates the fone, wtf am i supposed to do about that?? and i tell him that, and eh comes back withe, well if someone told u they didnt love u and they wanted to break up wouldnt that make u a little saD? ok. ONE, yes, i made a mistake, but that was a fucking 3 months ago!!! i realized i made a mistake, i apologized.. if u were so mad at me for it then whyd u forgive me!!! i mean seriously , whenever we fight, and i defend myself, he either brings that up, or april, when i didnt talk to him cause i was mad at him, yeah emy im not perfect, i make mistakes too, but the difference between me and you, is that i realize that they were mistakes, and i try and make them right, but when u make a mistake, god forbid u admit ur wrong, a guy being wrong, oh no, so u just go and pick something up from the past that i did wrong, and try and use that against me. wow thats mature. all along everyones told me to get over him and that i can do better and all that crap but he was what i wanted, the OLD him, but silly me thinking hed come back. he was probably off with some tramps while i spent my nights crying over him trying to think of ways to make it work, god why do i have to be so fucking blind to not see something like this, its so obvious too. he didnt care about me all along. he just cared about himself.
i'd dance 1000 steps for you...
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christini
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2003 19 January :: 11.03pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: whatever they have playing on jackass
wow today was a boring day. all i did was like eat sleep and watch tv. i talked to sean for like 5 hours that was entertaining! we actually have a lot more in common than i thought.. hes cool. anyways thats like all i did today.. who knows whats in store for tomorrow..
i'd dance 1000 steps for you...
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christini
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2003 19 January :: 11.13am
:: Mood: worried
:: Music: none cause my damn computer doesnt have sound :(
this ones gonna be a long one lol. lets see. synopsis of the weekend so far:
friday i came home and i was planning on spending the afternoon sleeping cause i was so tired and not in too good of a mood. then i wanted to go out. so i was gonna do something with rach n natalia but then missy asked me to go 2 santaluces with her so i did.. we watched an oh-so-exciting wrestling match thingy lol and spent our time freezing our asses off outside with matt. then we walked back 2 his house for a while, now THAT was gay missy lol no way am i going back there again... we got back at like i guess 12 or soemthing and we watched tv n stuff n then on saturday we went to get breakfast n to get her nails done n then we went looking for ski clothes (my u looked sexy missy lol) and then i went home.. and hung out for a while and ate crap and then i got bored so i called rachie and we were gonna hang out.. i THOUGHT we were meeting at like wendys and that whole thing across from loggers run so i walked there n i called her n i was like ok where are u? n shes like oh im at the park where are u? and i guess we got kinda confuzzled cause we were in 2 different places lol so i walked to the park and we hung out there.. it was fun!!! right rachie!? i miss being a little kid lol .. we played on the swings, and climbed up the slides, and i climbed a tree!!! and we played on the drawbridge thingymabbobber and then i had the bright idea to slide down a slide head first.. lol .. it was fun though.. and these little girls thought it looked fun n tried it n i was afraid theyd get hurt and theyr mommy would yell at us for setting a bad example for the little ones lol.. then we went back to rach's house and ate some pizza and watched legally blonde, and trading spaces, wow thats a good show lol. (sarcasm..) and rachie made me a hemp bracelet! its so cool lol.. n then i went home.. and went to sleep... and today my daddy apparently fixed my computadora but its still kinda screwed up like i cant get all the settings right.. rr .. w/e lol.
anyways, today i got up and i was laying in bed thinking about the whole emy situation. yes here we go with that again.
so, i know everyone wants me to get over him and move on, but its really hard for me. i mean when i think about what we had, it was so special, and i cant just forget about it. when i was with him everything was so perfect, but then when we just talked online and stuff he could be a real jerk and make me feel really bad about myself, and i realize that i dont need that, and i need someone who cares about me and makes me feel good about myself, but he used to do that, and i dont know what made him change, whether it was me, or maybe he just lost interest, i dont know, but i miss what we had, a long time ago, it was so special, and now we dont even talk anymore. i dont understand what happened. i just wish i knew how this would turn out like in the future, sometimes i feel like just giving up and moving on, but other times i cant, rrr. life was so much easier when clothes didnt match and boys had cooties. lol rach.. its true.
i'd dance 1000 steps for you...
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Lizzy
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2003 18 January :: 7.40am
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: Bowling For Soup
Livin it up
Hey! Well now I'm braces-free and its great. I love my teeth so much hehe, but I'm not used to it yet. Yea, so anyway yesterday was anotha borin school day. I got my math quiz back and I got a 97 :) Yea, startin the quarter off right. In bio, we took a test...ummm don't think I did as well on that. Lunch was funny with the picture taking, jeanette and i were being ghetto + stuff. Language...hate that class and hate mr. mcstupid! At least I've heard that two "friends" are kinda patchin themselevs up :) Then after school I apparently missed "the funniest bus ride ever" um...oh well! I went home with Bryan on his bus with Ben being annoying. But this one time the bus was stopped and a car behind us honked and ben opened the window gave them the finger and kept waving. It was funny lol. At Bryan's we watched movies and went to dinner at Stir Crazy. Yum yum. Then we browsed around the mall and I got all sad, I wanted money to buy stuff!! Everything at Delias was sooo cute and I was sad I didn't have money :( Que lastima! Hehe. So I had a great time, thanks bryan :) Now its Saturday morning and I think I'm just gonna have a low-key relaxing/hw day (REALLY!) hehe. toodles...
luv......lizzy
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i'd dance 1000 steps for you...
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christini
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2003 17 January :: 4.25pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: Good Charlotte- The Anthem (there performin on trl!!)
:0( christinis sick! oh no! today was ehhh. my daddy was running late and he was bitchin at me for everything possible.. my clothes. my shoes. my music. my nails. that im sick. EVERYTIHNG its like all he does is find stuff to yell at me for. rr pooface! then in spanish i saw lizzys teeth braces-free! lol they look good hunny! n french was... french. sucked like usual. and mcmanus was a drag and so was math. but i got a 104 on my quiz that i studied for for SO long. the bus was umm i duno i had my cd player on most of the time and supposedly there was flashing going on.. glad i didnt see that lol.. and then i heard the word cookie and i was like WHAT WHO HAS COOKIES! lol rach, of all things to hear.. k well im all sick and tired so im gonna go .. i wanna do something tonight just not to sure as to what it is right now.. and i really wanna go to the south florida fair this weekend so if anyone wants to go lemme knoe!!!
i'd dance 1000 steps for you...
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christini
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2003 16 January :: 8.03pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: friends theme song..(it just started.)
ahh nice relaxing day. i had a really stuffy nose last night n i couldnt breath so i didnt get any sleep, and my daddy let me stay home today ! i still feel sick-ish but not too bad. i got up half way thru 2nd perioD! yay lol. i heard we all got moved around though.. soo anyways i watched a lot of tv. save the last dance was on! and i changed around the pictures in my frames.. they were gettin old lol. and i cleaned my room, and i talked to lizzy! she got her braces off today! lol little things excite me. and i did a little homework too..emy sent me an im saying that he cant believe hes wearing the neclace i gave to him.. and then signed off. after not talking to him in like, over a week, im kinda confused.. if its a good or bad thing. w/e not gonna dwell on it. k well gots ta go.. toodles
i'd dance 1000 steps for you...
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Lizzy
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2003 16 January :: 8.22am
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: "I like Cold Beverages"
Hehe you're all in school!
Hola...right now it's school-time and no one's on lol. I'm getting my braces off in...less than 2 hours! I have to take a last minute pic w/ my braces for christini lol. It was nice sleeping in today, 8:00 booya..lol no one can even read this until after lovely school but w/e. Well i guess thats it; gonna go get ready!
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i'd dance 1000 steps for you...
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Lizzy
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2003 15 January :: 9.11pm
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: I am Cow
My last braces night- woohu!!!
Hey- tomorrow morning I am getting my braces off! I'm SO EXCITED! I have had these babies on for 3.5 years and I am so ready for them to go. I was telling everyone today to say goodbye to them lol.
Now, onto my actual day. Bus ride wasn't very eventful; Daniel and I just discussed a bus road trip and that Celine and Rich were cuddled in such a position that from my view, it looked like they were sharing one head for two bodies (Rich's). Lol. In Spanish, we watched a video on food- yum! Hehe. We also got report cards, got my straight A's with B's on math and spanish exams. I'm happy though. In math we took a oh so lovely quiz. I got all right but one, but I got the bonus right so they'll probly cancel eachother out. Lunch- more cuddling competitions hehe. In language Mr. McSTUPID was being his usual self. I contribute so much in that class and never get any good credit. Psh (i acquired that phrase from vanessa) Bus on the way home- adam insisted on sitting in christine and i's seat lol. Oil strips! hehe.
Oh and to those two "friends" that insist on holding a silent war. Please guys, you both care about eachother. One of you make the first move and just apologize :( I don't know why I care so much but it just makes me sad....
Hope everyone has fun in school tomorrow! hahahaha (i'm skipping)
i'd dance 1000 steps for you...
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christini
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2003 15 January :: 5.35pm
:: Mood: weird
:: Music: Mandy Moore- Cry
simple plan was on TRL today! yay! i was like look mommy i hugged him! lol yeaaaaah.. well anyways.. today turned out better than i thought. spanish was easy, but tomorrow liz wont be there n i might have to work with oleg (tear) lol lizzy.. i was actually planning on sleeping in today and not coming to school cause i had a french quiz and a math one too.. french is easy but math i didnt know shit.. even last night after 4 hours of studying i didnt really feel like i knew it but i think i did really well on the test! so thats good.. and mcmanus' was just like usual.. pretty boring not too eventful.. bus was eh.. so i guess it was a normal day.. lots on my mind though. k well g2g do some stuff..
i'd dance 1000 steps for you...
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christini
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2003 14 January :: 5.04pm
:: Mood: lazy
:: Music: Simple Plan- I'm Just a Kid
dodododododo
another day..it was okie.. spanish test (pooey).. boring history..boring bio.. pe i actually had to DO something for a change lol natalia.. so used to just sitting on my ass the whole running around the track thing was so new to me.. Natalia I WILL make u jog with me, every saturday! lol yeaaaaah... k well not too much to say today, rach i dont knoe if i told u but i dont think im gonna do the whole letter thing. i duno w.e lol i really dont care right now so ill see later. k well i gotta go get started on my oh-so-exciting algebra.. yucky french people tomorrow too...aaaaaaaahhh stab me now natalia lol! k toodles
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i'd dance 1000 steps for you...
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Lizzy
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2003 14 January :: 4.14pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: Nas "Made You Look"
Play ball.....
Hola- just a quick update before I immerse myself into my studies. Oh joy- math and science tests tomorrow that I convinently decided to wait to study for till today and oh whoops, i have dance and an orientation to be a Logger's Run CIT this summer tonight. Yea so I'm a bit stressed. Hmm today was interesting. The morning was SO FUNNY! Omg I so could not figure out Rich's cd player and his heaphones got all entangled...lol. In inquiry we were making power point presentations and Christoff was annoying the hell out of me by typing on my screen every two seconds. Stupid boy, at least bryan was there to hit him since I seem to have lost my bitch slap skills. Lunch was okay, ate some SPICY doritos, and learned that alex asked vanessa out! So cool! I'm excited for ya! History and debate were boring, no surprise. Cept in history the blue whale phonememon and urine cubes were discussed. LMAO! Celine and I had a nice discussion on the way home (hehe the contents of that convo can not be repeated) Yea so that was my day...better start studying! Wah :(
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i'd dance 1000 steps for you...
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