aerii
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2008 26 January :: 2.03pm
it's not worth it.
i'm not worth it.
so fuck it.
nothing is ever going to go right for me.
no one is ever going to be there for me.
this is pathetic
and i'm pathetic
and i hope she's fucking happy.
i hope you're all so fucking happy.
when the hell is it going to be my turn?
i'm sick of feeling like shit and hating myself. sick of freaking out over nothing and crying like a baby. i'm sick of people thinking that it's okay to be an asshole and make someone feel like nothing. sick of not having any answers. sick of not being able to accept things and of not being able to say what i think or how i feel.
none of this came out right.
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poisonedheart
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2008 23 January :: 10.29pm
I think I'm a bad friend.
Every time I talk to somebody from LC since dropping out, they're always saying they miss me, everyone's talking about how they miss me, and everyone else misses me, it's like a giant "we miss nathan"-fest in the japanese room during lunch these days apparently.
And deep down I really don't care, to be honest the only person I've even noticed the absence of in my life is chen chen, I feel sad I don't get to see her every morning, she always brightened my day, but everyone else just doesn't really matter I guess.
Maybe I'm just finally becoming detached like I've always wanted to be.
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aerii
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2008 15 January :: 5.34am
its always nice when your friends ditch you, ignore you, then replace you.
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poisonedheart
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2008 10 January :: 6.08pm
I'll be the grapes fermented,
Bottled and served with the table set in my finest suit
Like a perfect gentlemen
I'll be the fire escape that's bolted to the ancient brick
Where you will sit and contemplate your day
I'll be the waterwings that save you if you start drowning
In an open tab when your judgment's on the brink
I'll be the phonograph that plays your favorite
Albums back as you're lying there drifting off to sleep...
I'll be the platform shoes and undo what heredity's done to you...
You won't have to strain to look into my eyes
I'll be your winter coat buttoned and zipped straight to the throat
With the collar up so you won't catch a cold
I want to take you far from the cynics in this town
And kiss you on the mouth
We'll cut our bodies free from the tethers of this scene,
Start a brand new colony
Where everything will change,
We'll give ourselves new names (identities erased)
The sun will heat the grounds
Under our bare feet in this brand new colony
Everything will change...
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aaron
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2008 10 January :: 8.13am
:: Mood: peaceful
:: Music: The Whaler
"I am not alone
But powerfully alive
so that desperate fear
pales and fades
before desperate love"
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aaron
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2008 3 January :: 6.35am
:: Mood: peaceful
Yesterday was really, really good.
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poisonedheart
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2007 20 December :: 12.49am
Sometimes I wish I could fastforward my life.
Skip past all the bullshit of the rest of high school and college, skip right to the part where I leave this town behind forever.
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poisonedheart
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2007 13 December :: 9.50pm
A poem about woohu, written after reading people's old entries
These old journal entries
They read like a back catalogue
of our sorrows
Looking back on so much pain, it hurts
Yet we go on
And live each of our days
So much anguish we have felt, it hurts
Day by day we forget past torments
but if we look back, the pain still haunts us
Our lives are ever changing
Ever constant, ever painful, ever blissful
And the pain we feel each of our days
It gets swallowed up
With the joy of a new dawn
Yet the pain remains
These pages remain
We still hurt
We still heal
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poisonedheart
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2007 26 November :: 8.57pm
Life is changing lately, and I think I'm happy about it.
Jen's stopped being so emotionally dependent on me, which is really good, hell, I've barely even talked to her in the last few weeks, been spending most of my free time hanging out with Chen Chen or Jason.
I've become more confident in myself lately, something I've always been bad about, I always used to think I couldn't do anything right, but that's all changing.
Still a little depressed due to my total lack of any sort of love-life, but meh, I'm used to that.
Overall though, life is looking up.
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aerii
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2007 15 November :: 8.03pm
So some girl in Liberty Lake is drawing a picture of Nicole, but it's kind of weird because they've never met, and she never asked Nicole if it was okay. It's really freaking good though, and I want to buy it.
So imma find out how much she's selling in for in January, but it's even weirder because she's selling it at the Empyrean.
:D
Read more..
I'm stoked. I get to see Nicole on Wednesday. :D:D
It has been far too long since I've seen that girl. It's going to be amazing.
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poisonedheart
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2007 9 November :: 9.00pm
I was blonde as a child.
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poisonedheart
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2007 8 November :: 10.02pm
I wish she'd get out of that relationship, no matter how much she says it makes her happy, it's making her worse day by day, and she's just being used, and deep down she knows that.
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aerii
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2007 8 November :: 4.06pm
thanks for ruining my day.
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aerii
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2007 7 November :: 7.22pm
I'm pretty sure Natalie Portman's Shaved Head started the whole sideways pony tail thing, and not Katelyn Eyford.
It must be hard for her though, with people wearing the same hair style and all. God forbid.
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aaron
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2007 7 November :: 8.04am
I feel like I should write something, for tradition's sake. I feel like the cliches should boil out of my skin and flow down to my finger tips, tattooing some private page with dreams of unfathomable perfection.
I wait, yet nothing comes. The difference, perhaps?
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