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wasabi
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2007 28 April :: 7.20pm
:: Mood: sad
i have to write this down before it drives me crazy.
im upset
and i hate it
because i feel like there is no good reason.
i just feel so helpless and alone. and i feel like when he moves he's just going to leave me behind and forget about me. and im so scared because i really like him... seriously.
i think its more than just an infatuation.
and god damnit.
i just wish he didnt have to move and that i could see him more.
and that i could have seen him last night.
i feel so bad about last night. so fucking bad.
but i dont know.. i just feel like i'm going to be stuck here with a broken heart while he's hours away, smiling and living on without even a second thought about me. i dont want him to forget me.
and i dont want to be this pessimistic, because i know thats not how it is.
and i want to know why i keep thinking this though.
when i'm with him, im happy.
and i love that.
and i dont have to worry about anything.
and i can be myself.
and i dont want to lose that.
i dont fucking know...
god, i feel like a jerk.
and i dont know what i should say to him.
or what i should do.
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aerii
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2007 28 April :: 5.48pm
:: Mood: i feel like an asshole
someone should give me an amazing book to read.
and a really good hug.
and idk.
some nat king cole
or dean martin
or frank sinatra
albums.
idk.
i want to mellow out.
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aaron
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2007 25 April :: 11.04am
:: Music: The Mars Volta
The Veil Cerpin Taxt
You must have been phlegmatic in stature
The gates of thanos are a spread eagle wide
You let the shutters make sackcloth and ashes
Out of a blind mans picaresque heart
You take the veil
You'll take the dive
You take the veil
It's not over till the tremulant sings
These ides of march
Are they so make believe
How tempts the revenant
Slice up and not across
You take the veil
You'll take the dive
You take the veil
A mass of gallon sloth
As flys have walls for feet
A rapturous verbatim-someone said but who is to know
And when you find the fringe
The one last hit that spent you
You'll find the ossuary spilling by the day
The iconoclastic had it coming for years
They know the prisons that you have yet to fear
Where thumbs hide inside of sleepingbag mouths
Adlib your memoirs by casting a drought
You take the veil
You'll take the dive
You take the veil
A mass of gallon sloth
As flys have walls for feet
A rapturous verbatim-someone said but who is to know
And when you find the fringe
The one last hit that spent you
You'll find the ossuary spilling by the day
Knife me in -hobbling
Talking in it's sleep again
Knife me in-hobbling
Talking in it's sleep again
Knife me in hobbling
Talking in it's sleep again
Knife me in hobbling
Talking in It's sleep again
Who brought me here
Forsaken,depraved and wrought with fear
Who turned it off
The last thing I remember now
Who brought me here
Forsaken,depraved and wrought with fear
Who turned it off
The last thing I remember now
Who brought me here
The last minute of that song kicks so much ass...Deloused in the Comatorium is undoubtably one of the defining albums of our generation's rock.
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aaron
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2007 25 April :: 10.33am
I feel like a fucking Hipster
Next essay is a research paper deriving a concept from Schlosser's book and using documented incidents to make it relevant to the local populous.
We can choose from marijuana laws, illegal immigrant labor, and pornography and the surrounding controversy (free speech and such).
I'm thinking...pornography and free speech. I've never formally written anything on free speech, and I've already written more essays on pot and immigration than I care to remember.
So here's what I want to know from everyone.
(this is the hipster bit)
How is pornography is relevant in the free-speech controversy, and in what way does this impact us as citizens of the pacific north west?
(That sounded terrible. I should vomit just on principle)
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aerii
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2007 23 April :: 9.15am
"So I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them."
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aerii
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2007 22 April :: 7.20pm
ahahahaha
strawberry milkshake oreos.
sldfjsldfkjlooksldkfjlskdjf
today was a good day.
:D
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aaron
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2007 22 April :: 1.58pm
Fear of a blank planet, the new porcupine tree album, is amazing. Highly recommended.
9 Comments |
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poisonedheart
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2007 17 April :: 9.31pm
I'm Jen's Bitch.
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aaron
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2007 16 April :: 1.32pm
I ended up writing about my drunk dog terrorizing Schweitzer. The essay blows...
I think I'm losing my edge.
6 Comments |
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aerii
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2007 16 April :: 10.22am
:: Mood: silly
:: Music: dogs - page france
i really want to love him.
"and im not sure what happens
when everything here ends
but i hope its like they said
and i hope it never ends."
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poisonedheart
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2007 12 April :: 7.42pm
Take me out tonight
Where theres music and theres people
And theyre young and alive
Driving in your car
I never never want to go home
Because I havent got one
Anymore
Take me out tonight
Because I want to see people and i
Want to see life
Driving in your car
Oh, please dont drop me home
Because its not my home, its their
Home, and Im welcome no more
And if a double-decker bus
Crashes into us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
And if a ten-ton truck
Kills the both of us
To die by your side
Well, the pleasure - the privilege is mine
Take me out tonight
Take me anywhere, I dont care
I dont care, I dont care
And in the darkened underpass
I thought oh god, my chance has come at last
(but then a strange fear gripped me and i
Just couldnt ask)
Take me out tonight
Oh, take me anywhere, I dont care
I dont care, I dont care
Driving in your car
I never never want to go home
Because I havent got one, da ...
Oh, I havent got one
And if a double-decker bus
Crashes into us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
And if a ten-ton truck
Kills the both of us
To die by your side
Well, the pleasure - the privilege is mine
Oh, there is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
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aaron
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2007 12 April :: 9.49am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: "and I can't fight this feelin'" (southpark)
Whoopty doo
I'm exhausted. I left home at 7:50 and won't be home until 9 ish. This blows.
Oh well, still better than high-school.
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poisonedheart
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2007 11 April :: 9.27pm
You are so self-centered, the entire fucking world revolves around you.
I mean, I love you, but you need to get the fuck over yourself.
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poisonedheart
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2007 11 April :: 7.53pm
"The City Has Sex"
the city has sex with itself i suppose
as the concrete collides, the scenery grows
and the lonely once bandaged lay fully exposed
having undressed their wounds for each other
and there is a boy in a basement with a four track machine
he's been strumming and screaming all night, down there
the tape hiss will cover the words that he sings
but then they say it's better to bury your sadness
in a graveyard or garden that waits for the spring to awake from its sleep
and burst into green
and i've cried and you would think i would be better for it
but the sadness just sleeps and it stays in your spine
for the rest of my life
and i've learned and you'd think i'd be something more now,
but it just goes to show it is not what you know
its what you were thinking at the time.
this feeling's familiar, i've been here before
in a kitchen this quiet i waited for a sign or just something
that might reassure me of anything close to meaning or motion
(with a reason to move)
i need something i want to be close to
and i scream, but i still don't know why i do it
because the sound never stays it just swells and decays
so what is the point?
why try to fight what is now so certain?
the truth is all that i am is a passing event that will be forgotten.
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aerii
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2007 11 April :: 9.19am
i've been waiting for this moment all of my life,
but it's not quite right.
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