:: 2003 28 July :: 2.17 am

p.s. i have to add sumthin
Out of all my friends i know jill isnt FAKE ..wen she says she loves me i KNO she means it (even tho i argue with her i know she does) ...wen she says im her only best friend i know i am (ditto) ...wen she says im pretty i can tell she means it cuz shes a straight up person...wen she says sumthin meant sumthin to her or shes cryin or whatever i know its tru .. i shuld take notes..

1 let me fall | catch me..

:: 2003 28 July :: 1.18 am
:: Mood: PROUD

ya wanna no sumthin skary?
i swear me and jill r like tha same freakin; person..even tho we have totaly diff. lives n all we have so much in freakin common ( that sounds gay) we like THINK alike..like just today i found out we both cant say Cinnamon..both afraid of tha dark..both dont like preps..both skared bout seeing each other again..we kan like finsih he each others sentances and no wat tha otha person is thinkin alot of times..its like were married :) ..HAHA..but really..i think thats why we grew so close so fast cuz we think so much alike..another thing i was thinking .. i was jus SMILIN for no appartent reason..like really grinnin like a fool...wanna no why? cuz i was thinkin how LUCKY i am to be jill's friend like to seriously be HER BESR FRIEND after only knowin her for such a short time i feel like PROUD...like wen becky jills counsler told me that Jill has told her that she didnt need beckys help cuz she had me...o wow i felt sooo good rite then that musta been the best i have ever felten in my entire life..wow...i was so PROUD and i jus felt GOOD..i cried like a baby good tears of corse lol
another thing
JILL HASNT CUT HERSELF ALL SUMMER
im so fuckin proud of her..words kan even begin to say how fuckin happy i am .. that is seriously tha best gift she could ever give me.. i hope she NEVER does again....who knows if that will happen..but i have faith in her and hopefully she will make it longer and longer and longer! I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!!!

woot..that sounds like tha end of a book or sumthin..gesh a sad sad book(wit a happy ending)..prolly about a lez too since i sound like one haha..
but anyway
maybe everything will have a happy endin :)
damn im cheesy

catch me..

:: 2003 27 July :: 11.48 pm
:: Mood: ditzy
:: Music: RITE THUR (LOL JILL)

1 let me fall | catch me..

:: 2003 7 July :: 1.18 pm
:: Mood: confused

hmm..today is my first full day being single in like, 4 months, i almost forgot what it feels like. almost. i cant tell u i like it. i cant tell u i hate it. but i dont relly have a choice. and what am i doing on my first day of being a free woman? sitting. at home. on my bum. doing nothin. i was gonna go to the beach and look for some boys, but its gross out so im shooting for tomarrow. im back in the game and im gonnna make the most of it. even if i would do anything to be at kevins house rite now. or talkin with him. i miss him. alot. no no no i dont. yes i do. no i dont. why is this afecting me so damn much?


just got off tha phone with KATHRYN! i havnt talked to her on tha phone in, forever. i miss her. even tho i saw her like 2 weeks ago. were gonna go tubin, and see legally blonde 2. yay. i kant wait.



i miss jill so much. i havn't talked to her since, like 2 in tha mornin on Friday.i called her oday but no one was home, even if she was home i would have no idea what to say. i miss her so much. i was like all crying yesterday cuz i relised im not gonna talk to her in so long or at least not lyke how we did :( she was writin stuff bout me in her journal, and she said she couldnt say it in there cuz iw ould read it? what would she have to say bout me that i couldnt read...i hope its nothin bad..but it probably is




i talked to amber today to..i was talkin to stasi and she asked me for ambers s/n and i accidently typed it wrng and put : simply a man LOL instead of simplyme hehahah we had a laugh bout that one..te he..shes a REALLY good friend she REALLY cheered me up bout tha whole kev thing and shes jus tha best.








Friday, tha 4th o July, was so awsome. i went to cassanders birthday party, it was great! i took a whole buncha pix and im gonna download em on here. we played pass out, it was so cool and we watched tha fireworx on cassander'z dock it was awsome. we saw kev too, we tink lol n den he kalled me! ok stop. anywho, we lit firecrackers and it took us like an hour to lit them. Klansy cassandra and jenna were tryin to lit them and me and alyssa were watchin them laughin our asses off. haha how many blondes does it take to light a fire cracker. 3. then they all like ran for there lives when it went off, even tho it took like 2 minutes to actully pop. hahah jenna was like runnin like a duck it was hilarious. we were puttin body spray on all of us and lightin everything on fire lol. and then we went out side n smoked paper, lol but my head hurt really bad n than we watched darkness falls but me cassanders n alyssa fell asleep. it was a great party tho. i really like cassandra, shes awsome. shes like one of my best friends. she let me read her diary thing tho and like it talked bout how she wanted to die :( geez, seems like everyone wants to die these days :( but anyways shes so awsome and im really glad i met her this year! but anyways it was tha best party we laughed so hard jenna pee'd her pants 3 times. lol.





lets see ...what else...chelsie is mad at me. wow. again. i didnt do anything this time. shes jus always all mad about me hangin out with jill. im NOT gonna beg her back this time, she can come to be if she wants to be friend. holy crap tho. she needs to get over herself she is not the only one in tha world.









well ive wrote alot so l8ta
:-/ always, brit

catch me..

:: 2003 6 July :: 4.30 pm
:: Mood: lonely

hmm..im bored rite now im in tha car goin' 2 chelsea...kev called bout an hour ago. were not going out anymore, i guess, for now at aleast. Were lyke takin a break for tha summer i guess....who knows...i jus wish i knew wat he was really thinkin...but o well i guess its for tha best ..i feel free...at least i kan have some fun n hook up wit some guys without feelin guilty rite? tha best thing is hes going to maryland so even if he hooks up with sum1 its not like it'll be anyhthing big cuz he'll never jus have to leave in augest and he culd never keep anything long disance...ya rite. but Im comin bak 2 fla in lyke a week so if i met any1 hes gonna b tha sorry one i hav a feelin he'll want me bak when school starts but who knows if he seriously thinx im jus gonna sit around missin him hes got another things comin..im not jus sum1 he kan leave m than come bak 2 ok..i was but ive changed. And im gonna meet new ppl if it killz me ...tha weir thing is rite now i dont feel anything not mad or sad or anhything jus nothin :-/ we were going out 3 months 27 days i sriousl think we needed a break i think i kinda like Korey anywayz....SHIT this song remindz me soooooooooooooo much of Kev..:( FUCK ok i miss him all ready fuck.fuck.fuck. its gnna be a LONg summer......and im single , i think. whoa. cool. if kev wants a break ill give him a break im gonna have tha best fuckin summa ever...damn...i do miss him..o well this is jus 4...36 days...36 days of bein single being FREE...
this is gonna be fun


who tha hell am i kiddin?

fuck.

catch me..

:: 2003 5 July :: 10.37 am
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: last summa's m!x

catch me..

:: 2003 3 July :: 11.46 pm
:: Mood: horny

lol jk im no horny~that was jus temptin im actuly very happy for once because
1) im talkin 2 jill and i didnt think i would 4 a while
2) 2marro im actully gettin my butt out n going to a party
3) i jus am
4) cuz jills tha bestest persin ever ever
~well now i jus wanted to say jill i love u~ if ya read this ur tha bestest im gonna miss you dont 4get me ok !!!! ill be such a madd catt if u do! tell gatorade i sed hi n send all tha love in tha world to ur scab! gotta go work on da farm ...lol love u!~
*brit

catch me..

:: 2003 2 July :: 1.43 am
:: Mood: determined

well well well ~ i jus found out sumthin that skareded me perty bad but ya no wat basically i think this is jus another thing i need to work on~ like i said before i really need to get things straight i need to find out who i really am and what i want to become...a couple months ago jill wrote me a letter and told me to write down tha things that i thought made a person a good person ...i didnt write back, wanna know why? because i have clue what makes a person a good person ...fuck tho what does make a person a good person i mean really, but i do know i am not a good person i hate myself so much rite now and i just am gonna try so hard so i can actully like myself, but im not sure if i will ever fully like myself or say im a good person but i think im moving towards it today was a major step backwards but its also motivatin me to be better, maybe this is wat i need a huge slap in the face so all the important things will stand out

2 let me fall | catch me..

:: 2003 1 July :: 9.36 pm
:: Mood: nothing.

im barly feelin anything anymore jus like nothing. i feel like im always in a dream or sumthing, like the minutes are passin by so fast that there a blur...i dont really know why..actully i dont know ANYTHING anymore tha only thing i do know is tha the only reason anything is worth anything anymore is because of jill...i dont know whats gonna happen thursday..cuz i really cant loose that anymore, i really dont know why im so depressed lately i really dont, but jill helps that even know she thinks she doesnt she she thinks i dont trust her and wont tell her things but the truth it i CANT open up to people its jus something ive been never able to do..i jus kant ande its not un healthy its just sumthin i dont want to do, but im gonna try to change. im gonna try to change alot of things lets jus hope that when iget my shit together it wont be too late

catch me..

:: 2003 30 June :: 1.25 pm
:: Mood: depressed

I AM: SAD
I THINK: 2 much
I KNOW: nothing
I WANT: everything to be perfect
I HAVE: nothing
I WISH:life was better
I HATE: life
I MISS: jill
I FEAR: loosing her
I HEAR: beepin from aim
I SEARCH: for hope...and the remote control
I WONDER: why things are the way they are
I REGRET: alot of things
I CARE: about jill
I ALWAYS: let people down
I AM NOT: there for people like i should be
I DANCE: when im happy
I SING: where no one can hear
I CRY: when no ones around
I DO NOT ALWAYS: act myself
I FIGHT: with everyone
I FEEL: sad depressed unhopefully
I WIN: hardly anything
I LOSE: alot
I CONFUSE: myself
I LISTEN: to people i think
I CAN USUALLY BE FOUND: ON MY BUM
I NEED: to know every thing will be ok
I THANK: jill for being there for me, and god for blessing me with her
I PRAY:that everything will be ok
I AM HAPPY ABOUT: NOTHING.
I SHOULD: clean my room, take a shower, get off my ass...

1 let me fall | catch me..