Your hate for me is divine. <3

:: 2005 29 March :: 10.54am

D00d
I might not update for a while...need to get my grades back up...-sigh-

Bye...-glompsnugzXeternity- =X

5 have rocked. | let's rock

:: 2005 23 March :: 9.03pm

CE LA VI, MON AMI. Or whatever.
Seriously Jubei. You'd better take those damn pictures.
XDDDDDDD

I'll never know what it's like in Japan, so you should use, lyk, 3-10 rolls. ;DDDDD

-lotsofluuuurve- We'll miss ya, JASI-POO. -SNUGSNUGSNUGxINFINITY-

1 have rocked | let's rock

:: 2005 16 March :: 3.24pm
:: Mood: curious
:: Music: SHIMMY SHIMMY QUARTER TURN.

i`M kinda boreddd sooo.

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

I`m also a SPANK ME PINK. (=

Dakishime

:: 2005 13 March :: 8.19pm
:: Mood: Uncomfortabley Touched. o_o;
:: Music: BUDDDDY HOLY. I dunno` by whooom.

i`M SO FACKiN` NATURE-ISTIC
o_o. We went Hiking todae. It was funn I guess. but BUT BUT. THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY. :BBBBB

K. Like where I went hiking, THE PINACLE, in FRESNO, CALI. Or like I call it THE PINACLE OF DEATH. o_o yeah So the whole thing is about these works that fell and like now form stupid trails for stupid nature people like me. So we made it through the first cave WHICH WAS SCARY AND DARK.!~ And then we had to walk in cold stream water. So it was reallly cold. and like when we got out the first one. We were like let`s just climb this big steep hill instead of going through the water again. WHAT A FCUKING MISTACK. Mistack. SWEET. K. So we started climbing after this one white guy that said it was SAFE. )= BASTARD. So when I got to the middle my foot lost grasp on the rocks. AND I SLID. Like 2 centimeters. IT WAS REALLY SHARP. Yeah and like now I have a scratch on my hand. )= It started bleeding. yeah yeah. SCARY HUH. And like we found out that the waterway had like logs and like rocks to climb over and it was a hell of an easier way to go. STUPID WHITE GUY. I COULD OF DIEDIDIDIDD. and like broken something.

My mom just slapped me. Right across my fcuking neck. Just because I nevermind. She never slapped for that before. JUST CAUSE THE FUCKING PIZZA GUY. SHE`S SUCH A FUCKING BITCH.

3 have rocked. | let's rock

:: 2005 3 March :: 8.54pm
:: Mood: content

...
From Shiori's WJ. :'D

Instructions: write ten [very personal] statements intended to different people. never tell which one is for who.

1 - I've always loved you. Since I moved here, you were so funny, and nice...in your own way. After a little while of hanging out with you, I realized that I had a crush on you. After a while the crush grew into something much more...love. Remeber that end of the year? You listed off the names of your best friends that were girls in class, and I was on of those five. I felt so special. I knew you didn't like me, and you probably never will, but I don't care. All the way from 2000, to 2005, I still love you. If being one of your best friends is all I'll be to you...Then I'll try to be here. Waiting.

2 - I knew you for almost two years now, maybe more. You're wild! You've always been such a great friend...I miss the Old FC...how it used to be you, Shippo, me, and a few others just having fun. I used to spend almost an entire day, just talking to you on the FC. But the most fun I remember having with you was that Fourth of July party. I hope to keep you in my memory for as long as I can...if you ever stop coming online. Which I doubt, because you're awesome like that. =)

3 - You went out with me because you felt sorry for me. I'll admit, I was being pretty stupid, and over-reacting with these 'emotions' for you. It's kind of funny - I realize now, that I wasn't anything more than a friend to you. You broke up with me, saying that you wanted to be wild and free. I said I understood. That night I cried. For you. But we're real good friends now, and I'm glad that nothing has changed that between us.

4 - This is something I've been thinking about for a while. It seems that whenever I sleep over at your house, and your boyfriend is there, he volunteers to break whomever's virginity happens to be in your room. First time I was there, you started it - I just ignored you guys and watched TV. Second time, he tried to convince me to let him fuck me. You were there, and you just giggled. Wtf? And then there's Heather! You told me she WANTED that threesome. I don't doubt it. But it really ticks me off, because he seems to me, like he's using you and your friends for free sex without having any guilt. Remember how he said that the earlier we break our virginity, the less sore we'll be? I think that that is utter BULL SHIT.

5 - I'm sorry. I really am. That time about the whole name thing...I was being stupid. Fighting a friend for an online name? It's completely idiotic. I am sorry for starting that shit. Truth is, I was always scared of you somehow. I knew we couldn't be really really good friends or anything like that...but there was something about you that commanded respect. It scared the hell out of me...and, at that time, I wanted everything for myself. It's amazing that you just stood fast, and didn't beat me to a pulp...even if it's just online. I really respect you.

6 - What happened? We used to be such good friends...then you just disappeared from the FC. You still log onto neo. I know that. But...I really want you to stop abusing substances. It's none of my business, and I know your life is being pooey to you, but that's no reason to go off and do it. I just really care about you, and I'd hate to see you throw your life away.

7 - You're awesome. You're popular, you're nice, you're pretty - you even cheer me up when I'm not feeling my usual optimisticity. All I can say is - Rawk on, and whoever treats you like crap, IS crap.

8 - I miss you so much. I'm sorry for the pain I must've caused you when I agreed to Legato's question on neo. If I could turn back time and re-do that one moment...I would. I really would. Because then, you wouldn't have been depressed. Because then, you wouldn't have thought that I just used you. Take good care of him, M...

9 - It's amazing. You think you can just tell lies and shit behind her back? What the hell is wrong with you? Were you dropped on your head as a baby? Because it seems that way to me, you act so STUPID. I know you don't know me. Hell, I wouldn't give a shit if I accidently spit on your face. But the one second I move to your school, there will be HELL to pay for what you have done.

10 - This is for everyone. I can't post the specific names, so. You guys are so much better than my offline friends, it's scary. I tell you about my problems, and it's like you understand me better than my offline friends. That's pretty scary. But...I can understand it too. We've been friends for almost a year or less. We should have a Fourth of July Party. At the Guild. Just for once. To create memories that we won't ever forget. You guys will always rawk my sawks. <3333333333!
_____

Omfg, I read the story Shiori posted up. I cried. )=

Shiori

:: 2005 28 February :: 5.39pm

Friends Only

For those of you already on my list, you don't have to worry.

1 have rocked | let's rock

:: 2005 27 February :: 8.11pm
:: Music: Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Greenday

Yep.
Through shattered glass...I still have /hope/.
Friends Only, since I don't want weirdos reading my WJ. And in case I ever show my picture, (Which I have in my LJ, I may post it again if I don't get a better one.), someone decides to stalk me or something. D=
Just comment, and I'll add you back.
People already on my list are there to stay. <333333

5 have rocked. | let's rock

:: 2005 27 February :: 3.08pm

Yeah
Stolen from Midori. XD
(1) Your gender: Female
(2) Straight/gay/bi?: Bicurious. o:!
(3) Single?: -nod-
(4) Want to be?: Manga-ka. -is training self- x_o
(5) Your birth day: 11/27/1989 -was born in late 80's- ;D
(6) Age you act: I'm childish. So says parents. Lmfao.
(7) Age you wish you were: 10. -misses the old days when she didn't have homework-
(8) Your height: 5'2"
(9) The color of your eyes: Brown
(10) Happy with it?: -nodnod-
(11) The color of your hair: Black...natural red tint. =D!
(12) Happy with it?: Yep.
(13) Left/right/ambidextrous?: Right
(14) Your living arrangement?: Dad, Mom, Me, Little Brother, pets.
(27) Your family: Better than some in the Pines.
(29) What's your job: No one (That I know of) would hire a fifteen year old that looks and sounds ten years old. o_O;
(30) Piercings?: Nooooo.
(31) Tattoos?: Noooo.
(32) Obsessions?: Drawing, writing.
(35) Do you speak another language? Some japanese and hangul.
(36) Have a favorite quote?: Not really.
(37) Do you have a webpage?: ...No. o.x

DEEP THOUGHTS about life and you in it
(38) Do you live in the moment?: Yeah! =D
(39) Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: Most of the time.
(40) Do you have any secrets?: Um...not realy. From my friends. From my parents, Oh yeah.
(41) Do you hate yourself?: Nah. ^-^
(42) Do you like your handwriting?: No...over the summer it got sloppy. :x
(43) Do you have any bad habits?: Picky eater, procrastinator...Eh.
(44) What is the compliment you get most from people?: "Wow, those are nice sparkly pants! Where'd you get them?" or "That's a cute skirt with those jeans. Did it come with it?" XD
(45) If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: Lmfao. Right.
(46) What's your biggest fear?: Drowning. o.o
(47) Can you sing: My two friends (who also sing) rated my voice 7/10 and 8/10. ^_^
(48) Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: Pretend to be...someone else? 0.o; No, dun think so.
(49) Are you a loner?: I have only a few close friends. o_o;
(51) If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: I dunno.
(52) Are you a daredevil?: Depends on the situation. ^.^
(53) Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: The fact that I'm sooo short. o.o; It's weird. I'm physically weak too. XD
(54) Are you passive or aggressive?: Passive. I think.
(55) Have you got a ?: Got a what? o.0
(56) What is your greatest strength and weakness: Strength- Optimimistic Weakness- Impulsive liar. Ish.
(57) If you could change one thing about yourself?: Nothing. =)
(58) There are three wells, love, beauty and creativity, which one do you choose?: Lurve.
(59) How do you vent?: I draw. A lot.
(60) Do you think you are emotionally strong?: -snort- I start baling when my parents are interrogating me. >_>;
(61) Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: Just one.
(62) Do you think life has been good so far?: It definitely looked up since 2001.
(63) What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: I'm too young for a question like that.
(64) What do you like the most about your body?: Er...THE FIVE SENSES. Buaha.
(65) And least?: Hm...legs. I think.
(66) Do you think you are good looking?: Honestly, no.
(67) Are you confident?: I tell myself I'm smart, hot because I'm asian, etc...but I'm not cocky.
(68) What is the fictional character you're most like?: Yuki from Megatokyo. Offline, anyway. XD
(69) Do people know how you feel?: I dunno.
(70) Are you perceived wrongly?: Sometimes.

DO YOU...
(71) Smoke?: Nope.
(72) Do drugs?: Gyah, no. O_O
(73) Read the newspaper?: Not really.
(74) Pray?: Nope. Lmao.
(75) Go to church?: Nope. My mom doesn't like most christian churches in our area, because she claims they talk behind her back. =DDD!
(76) Talk to strangers who IM you?: "asl?"
Me: "Wtf are you?" -blocks them- XD
(77) Sleep with stuffed animals?: Not really. I lose them if I do. XD
(78) Take walks in the rain?: Yep.
(79) Talk to people even though you hate them?: Nope. I just...ignore them. In their face. Lmao.
(80) Drive?: Taking Driver's Ed next year.
(81) Like to drive fast?: Hell no. O_O

HAVE YOU EVER...
(82) Liked your voice?: Before I heard it over the Answering Machine.
(83) Hurt yourself?: Sometimes
(84) Been out of the country?: Korea.
(85) Eaten something that made other people sick?: No.
(86) Burped?: Yeah.
(87) Been unfaithful?: Um...o-o
(88) Been in love?: If you'd call it that. =X
(89) Done drugs?: Nope. I am friends with a couple stoners though.
(90) Gone skinny dipping?: Nope.
(92) Had a surgery?: Not that I can remember...
(93) Ran away from home?: Nope.
(94) Played strip poker: No. O.O
(95) Gotten beaten up?: XDD Not yet.
(97) Been picked on?: A LOT when I was little.
(98) Been on stage?: -nodnod- Strings concert, Choir, drama.
(99) Been so drunk that you know you're supposed to go out on a date with someone, but you can't remember with who or when and that you faint when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, not to mention your breath?: YeeeaaaNO. o_O
(100) Slept outdoors?: Yes.
(101) Thought about suicide?: Nope.
(102) Pulled an all-nighter?: I'll NEVER pull an all-nighter. I need at least 8 hours of sleep....O_O
(103) If yes, what is your record?: No.
(105) Talked on the phone all night?: No one. o_o
(106) Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex?: No. Unless sharing a bed with my little brother counts...nothing happened. x_X; EW.
(107) Slept all day?: Nope.
(108) Killed someone?: In games, yes.
(109) Made out with a stranger?: Nope
(110) Had sex with a stranger?: Wtf, no.
(111) Thought you're going crazy?: Lately. ;D
(112) Kissed the same sex?: Nope. XD
(113) Done anything sexual with the same sex?: O_0;;;; Nooo.
(114) Been betrayed?: Yes.
(115) Had a dream that came true?: Yeees.
(116) Broken the law?: I don't think so...:3
(117) Met a famous person?: -sighs- POTC....urgh....
(118) Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: Oh god no! O_O
(146) Stolen anything?: -cough-
(147) Been on radio/TV.?: No.
(148) Been in a mosh-pit?: WHAT? O.o
(149) Had a nervous breakdown?: Nope.
(150) Considered religious vocation?: Wtf?
(151) Been criticized about your sexual performance?: Pfft.
(152) Bungee jumped?: Nope.
(153) Had a dream that kept coming back?: A couple.

CLOTHES and other fashion
(154) Shoe brand?: Guess.
(155) Brand of clothing?: Dunno.
(156) Cologne/perfume?: None.
(157) What are you normally wearing to school/work?: Jeans, shirt, black hoodie with a pink happy wearing a straightjacket. ^-^
(159) Wear hats?: Messes up my hair more than it needs to. :x
(161) Wear make-up?: Nope.
(162) Favorite place to shop?: Barnes and Noble has manga.
(163) Favorite article of clothing?: o_o
(164) Are you trendy?: Dunno.
(165) Would you rather wear a uniform to school?: If it were of japanese school brand, hell yes. o_<

BELIEFS
(166) Believe in life on other planets?: Murr.
(167) Miracles?: A bit.
(168) Astrology?: Most of the time.
(169) Magic?: I dunno. Maaaybe.
(170) God?: -nodnod-
(171) Satan?: -whispernowhisper-
(172) Santa?: ...no.
(173) Ghosts?: Yes.
(174) Luck?: Yeth.
(175) Love at first sight?: No.
(176) Yin and Yang?: -nodnod- XD
(177) Witches?: Maaaybe.
(178) Easter bunny?: XDDD Kinda.
(179) Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: I highly doubt it.
(180) Believe there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?: Lmfao. I'm the one who leads you to it!
(181) Do you wish on stars?: Sometimes.

LOVE, and all that
(182) Did you get frightened or uncomfortable seeing that as a section title?: o__O No.
(183) Do you remember your first love?: Yes.
(184) Still love him/her?: Yes.
(185) Do you consider love a mistake?: Only sometimes.
(186) What do you find romantic?: I dunno.
(187) Turn-on?: Personality. Looks are a plus. ;3
(188) Turn-off?: If he's not clean. And if he's stupid. :X
(189) Do you base your judgment on looks alone: Nope.
(200) If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel?: Freaked out. o_o;
(201) Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going "blind"? Knowing someone.
(202) Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out?: Yeah.
(203) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?: How would I know if I like him? o.o
(204) Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: Doubt it.
(205) What is best about the opposite sex?: Personality. ^-^
(206) What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: o_o
(207) What's the last present someone gave you?: A box of chocolates my friend gave me. WHOM MY DAD ATE FOR HIS GREEDY SELF WITHOUT ASKING. e_e
(208) Are you in love?: Yes.
(209) Do you consider your significant other hot?: In his own way, yes.
(210) What would you do if you were walking down the street and saw some hot guy/girl standing on the sidewalk?: Glance. And glance again. And finally shout something weird and embarassing over to him to grab his attention. XD

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...
(211) That haunted you?: o_O
(212) You wanted to kill?: Shelby. Cause he's a brat.
(213) That you laughed at?: Kikyou.
(214) That laughed at you?: Kikyou. XD
(215) That turned you on?: Liam Aiken. And Johnny Depp. Lmao.
(216) You went shopping with?: Parents.
(217) That broke your heart?: The actors I listed because they're famous. =/
(218) To disappoint you?: I dunno.
(219) To ask you out?: HAH.
(220) To make you cry?: o_o
(221) To brighten up your day?: Omfg, all my online buddies. XD
(222) That you thought about?: Cody. Sam from Day After Tomorrow. Johnny. )=
(223) You saw a movie with?: Parents.
(224) You talked to on the phone?: Stephanie
(225) You talked to through IM?: Kikyou
(226) You saw?: Dad. O_O
(227) You lost?: Some old relative I didn't really know.
(229) You thought was completely insane?: ...
(230) You wanted to be?: Johnny's wife. O_O;
(231) You told off?: Dunno.
(232) You trusted?: I dunno.
(233) You turned down?: o_o

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU
(234) Smiled?: Before I started this hella long quiz...
(235) Laughed?: Same as above.
(236) Cried?: Yesterday. XD
(237) Bought something?: Last weekend. Lmao.
(238) Danced?: Last year.
(239) Were sarcastic?: Today.
(240) hugged someone?: I dunno.
(241) Talked to an ex?: Never.
(242) Watched your fave movie?: When I bought the POTC DVD.
(243) Had a nightmare?: I don't have nightmares.
(245) Talked on the phone?: Meh.
(246) Listened to the radio?: Yesterday.
(247) Watched TV?: Right now.
(248) Went out?: Last weekend.
(249) Helped someone?: Dunno.
(250) Were mean?: Uhm. =/
(251) Sang?: Last night.
(252) Saw a movie in a theater?: -shrug-
(253) Said "I love you"?: Last night.
(254) Missed someone?: Right now.
(255) Fought with a family member?: Today.
(256) Fought with a friend?: Nope. o_o
(257) Had a serious conversation?: Dunno.
(258) Got drunk?: Nope. o_O
(259) Had sex?: Pfft, yeah right. :x
__________

Omfg, my dad read the bicurious part. O__________O;;; Crap.

:: 2005 27 February :: 3.06pm
:: Mood: cheerful

MWEE!
MANYMANYMANY thank yous to May and Shiori, and Kikyou!!! Including whoever helped. ^-^;;

ETERNAL LURVE FOR ALL OF YOU. -hands out eternal lurve cookies-

:: 2005 27 February :: 12.01pm
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: The video thing that Kikyou posted about MARS. [= it`s a DANDY song

I LOVE YOU. <33~
yeah . can`t upload any icons since stupid photobucket rebuilds their disks i sound so frikken smart. ahh. yeah I keep on saying yeah. well `nyways it`s sundae o_o one day before school starts agen; `nd half a year passing. D;. but i`m not gonna cry. at least not in the open like right now. maybe tonight at 11.05 D; he left so frikken early in my life. i mean he doesn`t even get to see my brother graduate from school for the first time. I mean he never got an education so he would be really happy to see us graduate. but he doesn`t cause he left. and I hate it. i realized that when I was little, I used to hang out with my aunt a lot. but when i`m not with her I`m always with my dad. and as I grew older, i never spent that much time with him. I mean people say that i`m so happy, that i act that my dad passing away doesn`t even bring a burden to my heart. but it does. I can say my dad passed away so easily but if I really think about it . I`m alone and i`m looking for him. i`m always thinking. where is my dad ? why isn`t he here? and then I remember. that he`s gone. that i`ll never hear his voice again. I mean a lot of people dad passed away. but that`s mostly because they were old or because they grew up and had their own families. but i`m still a kid. and I still need him.

none of my friends know how I feel. I never tell them. all they know is my happy side the side when i`m smiling and happy and hyper. but i`m not trying to sound like i`m a frikken emo kid or stuff like that. it`s just that. I feel that I can`t talk to anyone because noone knows how i feel. and they don`t understand. and i have to keep everything inside and it kinda hurts but i`m not going to frikken suicide for it. o_o but i`m okay now. this kinda hit me harder than i thought because I told myself that i wouldn`t cry. but i did )=

the only thing that I could say in the hospital when seeing my dad for the last time was i love you, daddy over and over again. and I truly mean it. [= with all my heart and i always will. (;

6 have rocked. | let's rock

:: 2005 11 February :: 10.47pm
:: Mood: hyper
:: Music: Ever; NB riderzz

nuhtin` much..
Would you yes you be my valentine? <3.

One more week of school and then OFFF for february break. yesss~ WELL WELL. I`ve lost my drawing skills. I couldn`t draw for like 4 days. I`m having drawing block. as Kanna calls it. ;D yaye. I might get a LJ, cause cause everybody there journal to friends only and Jubei can`t read it so I have to get one. which kinda means. 3 journals to update. [= [= [= [= I`m really excited. Can`t you tell.?

++ deleted. o_o

1 have rocked | let's rock