oceanchild
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2009 1 January :: 3.06pm
101 things
Instead of making resolutions this year, I've made a list of 101 things that I'll hopefully have accomplished in 1001 days, by September 29, 2011. Got the idea from an LJ community.
Here's my list. Read more..
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oceanchild
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2008 21 December :: 10.23am
My grandfather may be dying. He went to the emergency room twice the other night due to pressure building up in his heart. They gave him some medication to help control it and reminded him that he's only mortal. Not the kind of thing that it's particularly encouraging to hear from medical professionals.
Yesterday I was at a high school reunion which was actually a lot of fun. I'm coming more and more to realize that I occupied an uncommon position, socially, back then. Most of the people I wandered over to talk to last night complained to me that the same cliques that excluded them in their high school years were still in effect. I never really felt reined in by clique boundaries because I never really felt myself in one. I just talked to whomever I wanted, and they were chill with me. Every time I see people from back then that I've lost touch with, it surprises me all over again how happy they seem to see me. I was less alone than I thought.
Probably because of the reunion I had a disorientingly lifelike dream about Dria. We talked about what had happened between us and I finally got to pour my heart out to her about both how I feel I handled things badly and how it wasn't entirely my own fault. And she was really listening. I thought for a moment that maybe we could even rebuild the friendship, and for the first time ever in a dream about Dria, that prospect didn't frighten and distress me. In all of the other cases, we've never addressed the problem directly, and so what was in line to be rebuilt was not the friendship but the dependancy, I suppose.
I woke suddenly as we were on a bus going somewhere and was both shocked and disappointed to realize that it had been only a dream.
1 had an epiphany |
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oceanchild
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2008 8 November :: 9.40pm
Anybody here on Twitter? I just joined but I know nobody. =( My username is socksocksock, so you can find me and add me if you are so inclined.
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oceanchild
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2008 3 November :: 9.46pm
I actually ended up getting that job I talked about blowing the interview for last entry. No idea how that happened. Maybe they didn't get a lot of applications.
My first day was today -- they took me into a buzzing, air-conditioned room filled with racks of servers and explained to me what each one was and did. It was explanation after explanation using horribly complex terms like "asynchronus versioner somethingorother" and I went back to my desk feeling properly cowed. I thought as I was sitting there that my life has been a long stumbling from one thing that I want to do but am ill-equipped for to another.
But then I spent the rest of the shift updating programs and operating systems on the organization's laptops, which I could probably do in my sleep, so who knows. Maybe I was what they were looking for, after all. At least the servers had funny names. The main one responsible for hosting all of the user profiles is called Flashy.
The winter rains have begun. It's been wet and gray since last Thursday. Everyone complains but me; I love this weather. Except when my feet get wet. Time to retire the thin canvas shoes full of holes until the spring.
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letsplayguns
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2008 27 October :: 7.59pm
i feel lonely again its gay.
i wanted to go meet up with my dad but he's working late.
now i have no food, 1 dollar, and im still alone.
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oceanchild
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2008 24 October :: 10.47am
:: Mood: embarrassed
I just went for a job interview. It's left me feeling rather low -- I don't think I made a very good impression. They were asking a lot of questions about things that I don't really know how to do. (It was a tech-support, computer-related job. I thought it would be like my old job at the library, but it's not really.)
I guess it all comes down to my worrying that they'll feel like I wasted their time. But they didn't tell me yes or no yet, so...I dunno. We'll see what happens, by Wednesday of next week.
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oceanchild
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2008 1 October :: 10.15am
Back at school now, and having more trouble with my schedule than I ever have before. I guess it was courteous of the bad luck to wait until my senior year, when I'm the most familiar with the system and better able to deal with hiccups.
I was taking Japanese for a day before I got kicked out of the class, because I enrolled very late and the teacher said it wasn't fair for me to get the spot before any of the waiting list students. I understand that, but I was still disappointed about it. I went for a long walk in the woods until that mostly dissipated. Part of what bothers me is that now, for the first time since kindergarten I won't be studying a language. At least I can return the books and get my 78 dollars back, which will be helpful.
I'm also trying to find a job which isn't going particularly well. I should be getting a call sometime today from my old supervisor to let me know whether or not there's room in their schedule for me to come back to work. Keeping my fingers crossed, because I really liked that job, but I don't have a whole lot of hope. Nobody else I've sent an application to has yet replied. I may have to start searching off-campus, or quickly learn how to do web design. It seems like everybody wants that these days.
I can hear seals borking from my apartment. Nathan and I went over to the wharf to see them one day, and discovered that it's mostly just one seal that WILL NOT SHUT UP, and occasionally the others that join in when they get irritated at his noise. We named him Larry for no specific reason, and they all have such different toned voices that now when they bork I can tell whether it's him or not.
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